Chapter Forty-Eight Now it was my turn to drop my cutlery, almost choking on my food. Im sorry? No. I did not have feelings for Cai,I said, still coughing a little. I took a sip of water to clear my throat. “It was you who had feelings for Cai, remember? And Cai doesn’t have feelings for me either… unless youre talking about the kind of feelings that find him inside a girl’s skirt for a day.”

“Bullshit, Aria!”

I quickly looked up to meet Myra’s fiery eyes. It was the first time I’d ever heard her swear or even sound so angry. I was completely taken aback. “Myra...?She closed her eyes and composed herself for a second. Sorry, sometimes I think you’ve rubbed off on me a little too much.”

My lip twitched in a smile. It was nice to see Myra standing up for herself so confidently for once… even if she was passionate about the wrong thing in this case.

“Look, I didn’t have feelings for Cai,she stressed. “You need to realise our lives aren’t the same, Aria. I’m not anyone special. I don’t have a rank, my parents aren’t famous, and I don’t have any cool marks or prophecies about my future mate… I’m just an average pack member, trying to contribute where I can.”

“Myra-.”

I went to disagree with her about not being anyone special, but she just held up her hand to indicate she wanted me to let her finish.

Im not anyone special, Aria,she insisted. Without intervention, I most likely would have lived and died without ever having met a ranked member my entire life. I would have become o f age, become mated to an average joe just like myself, had a few children, and then died. But then one day I saw you in the library at school, just like I had every other day prior, except this time you seemed different. You had stood up to Braydon that day, something so o character for your reputation back then… but it was more than that. Truthfully, when I saw you that day, you looked almost... sad. And so, despite all my better judgment, I still went and spoke to you for the first time.It was hard to hear her say these things about herself, especially since I cared for her so deeply. But I didnt dare to interrupt her. It felt like something that had been weighing on her for a while and she needed to speak.

“Honestly, talking to you that day in the library was the most nervewracking thing Id ever done. And then, by some miracle, you, the Betas only child, and Cai, an alpha heir, saved me... and suddenly Im in a new world where, not only are two incredibly important people talking t o me, but they want to be my friend?! I didnt understand why. Like... why me...?” 

She looked up to me finally and I could see her eyes had gone watery. And it hurt me to see her like that. She didn’t understand how important she was to me. How much I had needed her

over these years. It was because of her I had started to trust others again. So, no, Aria,” she said, I dont have feelings for Cai in the way you may think. I dont have feelings stronger than any of the other non-ranked girls in this entire pack… or any other pack for that matter. An Alpha heir speaks to me, is kind to me, and you think Im in love with him? Hell yes, I am! I would probably act the same if it were Aleric, too. You’re all goddamn celebrities in our eyes! But I know my place, and thats not with an Alpha. Im not meant to become a Luna or any other ranked member’s mate.”

think you already know that. I also saw how you used to look at him, how you were around him, and I know you don’t have the same excuse as me as to why you acted that way. So, I think we both know he’s not the issue here. No, I think your real problem is with yourself, Aria … not Cai.” I frowned. “No... but I told you, remember? He was with that girl, Iris, the other night. And it‘s so much more complicated than that, Myra. My position complicates it.” “...But did you see them actually go home together? Or even properly kiss?” No... I hadn‘t. I hadn‘t technically seen anything other than them hugging and Iris pecking his cheek Technically, both

resting her head on an arm she‘d propped up on the table. “I realise there’s a lot about yourself you’ve never told me and that‘s fine. It‘s not for me to pry into your private life and I’ve always just been grateful to spend time with you. But if there is one thing that I‘ve come to realise over these last

true! I’m close with you, Myra,” I

others? Sure, I can see that. But even I don‘t know much about you, Aria. Not on a deeper level. From what I can tell, it looks to me as if you’ve rejected the idea of being with Cai for the same reason

didn‘t think she was worthy

she was. That there wasn’t actually any reason to feel so distant from me. “I’m sorry I’ve let it get to this point,” I said finally

I’m just trying to give you my perspective on this whole situation. I know you care about me,

for some money to leave on the cafe table.” You

stop putting herself down because

together we walked outside, making our way up the street to where I’d parked my car. I needed to tell her. It was time. Myra had been the one thing in my life I could depend on and yet I had failed to do the same for her. How long had she been hurting

me, but the issue was how she would react. Would she become afraid

any feelings I may

didn‘t matter. Both of them would mean I’d be forced to become Luna one day and face different but similar difficulties. And that was only if I managed to live long enough to get that far. I’d worked so hard to become a Beta heir and was planning

I then went on to reject my pack’s future Alpha, forsaking the prophecy that said our union would bring success to the Winter Mist, before ultimately running off with a different Alpha? I had no doubt that I’d be marked as a traitor and would ignite a war in the process. A war that would maybe end with Cai dead on that battlefield again. Or

own eyes how my selfish actions could  complete your eyes more hurt innocent people around me? Thousands of people out there, just like Myra, who would be caught up in the whims of people who were considered more important. “Aria, you’re digging into my hand,” Myra said quietly, breaking me from my thoughts. I looked down to see my nails clawing into her skin and quickly let go. It had been

forgotten

it was then that I saw it. Or, more accurately, I saw her. Immediately, I moved fast to hide behind a large tree we had stopped next

…Because Thea was here.

to be

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