Chapter FiftyOne 

Three days

It had been three days since Myra had died... and I felt suspended in time, unsure over what to do next

After that night, I had arrived home and walked straight into the shower. The process had taken a while since I had needed to peel off all the clothes that had stuck to me; their condition no longer salvageable a tall and would need to be thrown out

I‘d stood under the showerhead and watched as the hot water turned red all around me, washing away all the evidence of what Id done. But it wasnt enough. Even when the water had begun to turn clear, I started to scrub at my body. I scrubbedand scrubbedand scrubbeduntil my flesh was almost as red as the water had been

But even then, I could still see it. I could still feel it

It hadnt been enough

*I* hadnt been enough

For three days, Id done nothing but lay in bed, barely eating or moving. It was all I could do

My parents had tried to talk to me, but I didnt know what to say. I didn‘t even have it in me to lie and make them feel reassured like I might have done normally. Inside, I had now lost all sense of motivation t o keep going

Since coming back, Id been working so hard to keep myself alive, to stop whatever impending doom was yet to unfold, but I‘d been so focused on saving myself that I‘d now sacrificed someone else for that cause

And Thea? Well, if this was a game of chess, then I felt Id just lost one of my most important pieces. This whole time I’d thought Thea was playing as a king, ruling from behind the scenes and keeping safe. But I was wrong. Just like her ambitions in life, it seemed Thea was actually playing as a queen; able to adjust and change depending on the situation... and able to go the extra mile to strike or kill if necessary herself

I shook the thoughts off instantly, feeling sick at myself. There I had been going again... thinking of others as pieces in my game of survival. This was exactly how Id gotten Myra killed. Shed even pointed out to m e how Id been acting so selfish and yet, not even ten minutes later, Id sent her out to die for me. And she did so with a smile on her face, happy to be helping me. 

Around my neck, I could distinctly feel the weight of Myras necklace, now heavy with the guilt I carried. A t times I felt like it stopped me from breathing as if it would slowly crush me, but it was always just in my head. I was sometimes disappointed once I realised that fact

And so, for the thousandth time that day, I traced my fingers along the stone embedded on the chain, consumed in my own thoughts, just as I had been every single day that had passed since her death

So focused in my head that I almost didn‘t even notice the sound of knocking coming from the bedroom door

But I didnt turn to see who it was. There was no point. It was either my parents or Lucy since everyone else had been told I wasnt taking visitors

Miss?” 

Lucy

I stayed still, staring up at the ceiling, and waited for her to tell me whatever it was she had come to say

Chapter Foily One 

Miss, you had another visitor today.” 

That wasnt unusual. Apparently, Aleric had shown up yesterday to check in but my mother had explained that I still wasn‘t well. Several other people had also come by over the last few days, either out of concern or to ask more questions, but all of them were asked to kindly give me some space

I wasn‘t sure why Lucy was still bothering to tell me

It was a boy,she continued. His name was... Caius? That Alpha heir from the Silver Lake pack.” 

I froze up at the sound of his name

Cai

time because I didn‘t know

know what I‘d done? Had he heard about

say?” I

was actually sounding interested for once. “He said h e wanted to check in

yet I‘d somehow managed to get her killed

probably wasn‘t the case. I highly doubted anyone had told him that it was my fault yet since everyone was still under the impression that

sitting position, my head pounding with the sudden

you getting up? Did you

legs over the side of the bed, and pinched at the bridge of

wear,

hesitated for a moment in shock before quickly rushing to the wardrobe

her friend too, after all. If it were me, I‘d want to know.

I‘d enquired about which house he was currently occupying from the managing office that oversaw the guest residences. Given my

five minutes and still hadn‘t worked up the courage to knock. Was I making a mistake? Should I just leave and pretend I

be able to smell that I‘d been here. I‘d been standing outside for so long now that I was sure that he‘d know I‘d come to see him,

to knock... but the door then opened before

stood on the other side, looking stunned to see me. I could see his eyes had faint traces of

he said. “It was that or I‘d gone insane being able to smell your scent for the last few minutes. Have you actually been standing there the whole

light of a situation. Even at a

Chapter FiftyOne 

met his eyes, I could only feel that I‘d made a mistake in coming here.

wasn‘t ready to face him yet and my body began to shake, tears starting to water at

face away when I couldn‘t look at him anymore. “I‘m sorry. It was my

Aria?” 

rushed forwards, trying to comfort me. It took a few moments

inside and sit down,” he said, gently grabbing my hand to lead me through

consisted of a bedroom, living room, bathroom and small kitchen area. The guest houses were purposely self–contained since we had the means and

me down on the couch, throwing a blanket around my shoulders ash e misinterpreted my shaking.

he said,

while before I could trust my voice enough

sent her to do something and she was killed because of that. Because of me. Because I‘d stupidly let her go

silent for a few seconds, trying to process what I‘d just said, before finally

wasn‘t killed by

No one believes me that it was definitely her. And I knew Thea was shady and I still let Myra go talk to her. It‘s all my fault, Cai... I‘m so

very confused. “... Did you know she was that dangerous?

but

plainly. As if that was enough to make it all better.

I

once more. He rested his hand on my cheek to make me meet

as a part of me broke down at his words, sobs overcoming me as I gave in to my grief. He pulled me into his side and held me as I cried against his chest. I could feel as his comforting presence tried to soothe me inside while allowing me to get it out of my

itself back

to clear, I became painfully aware of the fact Cai and I were still

anything I‘d felt in the last three days. Three days where inside I‘d been devoid of anything that felt living. And so, as I looked up

Chapter Fifty One 

if there was an alternative to this

enough that I could see every line and detail on his face... his eyes... his cheek... his

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