A Gift from the Goddess

Chapter 51

Chapter Fifty–One 

Three days. 

It had been three days since Myra had died... and I felt suspended in time, unsure over what to do next. 

After that night, I had arrived home and walked straight into the shower. The process had taken a while since I had needed to peel off all the clothes that had stuck to me; their condition no longer salvageable a tall and would need to be thrown out. 

I‘d stood under the showerhead and watched as the hot water turned red all around me, washing away all the evidence of what I‘d done. But it wasn‘t enough. Even when the water had begun to turn clear, I started to scrub at my body. I scrubbed… and scrubbed… and scrubbed… until my flesh was almost as red as the water had been. 

But even then, I could still see it. I could still feel it. 

It hadn‘t been enough. 

*I* hadn‘t been enough. 

For three days, I‘d done nothing but lay in bed, barely eating or moving. It was all I could do. 

My parents had tried to talk to me, but I didn‘t know what to say. I didn‘t even have it in me to lie and make them feel reassured like I might have done normally. Inside, I had now lost all sense of motivation t o keep going. 

Since coming back, I‘d been working so hard to keep myself alive, to stop whatever impending doom was yet to unfold, but I‘d been so focused on saving myself that I‘d now sacrificed someone else for that cause. 

And Thea? Well, if this was a game of chess, then I felt I‘d just lost one of my most important pieces. This whole time I’d thought Thea was playing as a king, ruling from behind the scenes and keeping safe. But I was wrong. Just like her ambitions in life, it seemed Thea was actually playing as a queen; able to adjust and change depending on the situation... and able to go the extra mile to strike or kill if necessary herself. 

I shook the thoughts off instantly, feeling sick at myself. There I had been going again... thinking of others as pieces in my game of survival. This was exactly how I‘d gotten Myra killed. She‘d even pointed out to m e how I‘d been acting so selfish and yet, not even ten minutes later, I‘d sent her out to die for me. And she did so with a smile on her face, happy to be helping me. 

Around my neck, I could distinctly feel the weight of Myra‘s necklace, now heavy with the guilt I carried. A t times I felt like it stopped me from breathing as if it would slowly crush me, but it was always just in my head. I was sometimes disappointed once I realised that fact. 

And so, for the thousandth time that day, I traced my fingers along the stone embedded on the chain, consumed in my own thoughts, just as I had been every single day that had passed since her death. 

So focused in my head that I almost didn‘t even notice the sound of knocking coming from the bedroom door. 

But I didn‘t turn to see who it was. There was no point. It was either my parents or Lucy since everyone else had been told I wasn‘t taking visitors. 

“Miss?” 

Lucy. 

I stayed still, staring up at the ceiling, and waited for her to tell me whatever it was she had come to say. 

Chapter Foily One 

“Miss, you had another visitor today.” 

That wasn‘t unusual. Apparently, Aleric had shown up yesterday to check in but my mother had explained that I still wasn‘t well. Several other people had also come by over the last few days, either out of concern or to ask more questions, but all of them were asked to kindly give me some space. 

I wasn‘t sure why Lucy was still bothering to tell me. 

“It was a boy,” she continued. “His name was... Caius? That Alpha heir from the Silver Lake pack.” 

I froze up at the sound of his name. 

Cai. 

him this entire time because I didn‘t know how to

what I‘d done? Had he heard

say?” I asked

taken aback that I was actually sounding interested for once. “He said h e wanted to check in on

ourselves in that process, and yet I‘d somehow managed to get her

wasn‘t the case. I highly doubted anyone had told him that it was my fault yet since everyone was still under the impression that this was the rogues. There was no concrete evidence t o suggest that Thea was involved... and no one knew that Thea and

into a sitting position, my head pounding

Lucy asked, surprised. “Are you getting up? Did you want anything?”

and pinched at the bridge of my nose. I was needing to take a second to concentrate on calming the disarray inside my mind.

wear, Lucy... I‘m going out.”

before quickly rushing to the wardrobe to

tell Cai the truth. He was her friend too, after

of where Cai was staying. I‘d enquired about which house he was currently occupying from the managing office that oversaw the guest residences. Given my rank, they

door now for five minutes and still hadn‘t worked up the courage to knock. Was I making a mistake? Should I just leave and

he‘d be able to smell that I‘d been here. I‘d been standing outside for so long now that I was sure that he‘d know I‘d come to see him, regardless of what

deep breath and went to knock... but the door then opened before I

see his eyes had faint traces of dark circles under them and could

able to smell your scent for the last few minutes. Have

a situation. Even

Chapter Fifty–One 

feel that

I wasn‘t ready to face him yet and my body began to shake,

I couldn‘t look at him anymore. “I‘m sorry. It

“Aria?” 

I wasn‘t okay and rushed forwards, trying to comfort me. It took a

grabbing my hand to lead me through the door.” Then we can talk about whatever it is you‘re on

consisted of a bedroom, living room, bathroom and small kitchen area. The guest houses were purposely self–contained since we had the means and budget to offer that within the Winter Mist.

the couch, throwing a

to me,” he said, sitting

took a while before I could trust

face. “I couldn‘t save her this time. I couldn‘t... I sent her to do something and she was

was silent for a few seconds, trying to process what I‘d just said, before

Myra wasn‘t killed by the

I don‘t know. It was a girl named Thea. Probably working with the rogues, for all i know. But no one believes me. No one believes me that it was definitely her. And I knew Thea was shady and I still let Myra go talk to her. It‘s all my fault, Cai...

again, clearly still very confused. “... Did you know she was that dangerous?

but

As if that was

I

He rested his hand on my cheek to make me meet his eyes.

as a part of me broke down at his words, sobs overcoming me as I gave in to my grief. He pulled me into his side and held me as I cried against his chest. I could feel as his comforting presence tried to soothe me

to calm down inside once more; the numbness starting to freeze itself back over as the seconds ticked by. It was a now familiar

I became painfully aware of the fact Cai and I were still touching.

inside I‘d been devoid of

Chapter Fifty One 

wonder if there was an alternative

that I could see every line and detail on his face... his eyes... his cheek... his lips.

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