A Gift from the Goddess

Book TWO – Ch.# 29

…I couldn’t believe I was actually thinking of doing this.

Again

I should have already learnt niy lesson by now… no, I really shouldn’t be trying to make it stronger. I already knew how dangerous that side of me was. And yet Kieran looked at me with those puppy dog eyes, making it feel impossible to deny him.

…So here I was.

Contemplating doing the very thing I was sure would make him happier than it would make me.

I knew he wanted me to be completely healthy again, to be able to do the things he could do, to try and… fix me. Which wasn’t a bad thing, per se. It was great. It’s just… I wasn’t sure if I was ready for that yet. This wasn’t like asking me something trivial. He was asking me to connect with a beast who had terrorised me for years.

A shiver went through me as I recalled every time it had happened, remembering the blood and bodies. Remembering… the pain. Not even Kieran had been sale last time, it having lashed out at him as well. “I’ll be right here with you, I promise,” Kieran said, disrupting my thoughts. It won’t be like the last time. You don’t need to worry.”

Right.

Because the medicine should have stopped the suppressors by now… which should theoretically stop the pain… which should then stop the blackouts… and the death toll after it.

So simple. Logical

Surely nothing bad would happen again. I could do this.

And so I held my breath tentatively. “…Okay, Kieran,” I said, feeling numb. “I’ll do it.” And I agreed to do the very thing that terrified me.

I stood a foot or so away from him as we got started, watching him carefully. A small tremor was shaking through me, but I did my best to push through it. Now, more than ever, I needed to focus entirely on what Kieran was trying to tell me.

It quite literally could mean life or death.

“Deep breath, Rae,” he said, doing it himself as if to remind me how.

Yes… thank you for that.

But I still did it regardless.

“Okay, now… close your eyes… and reach deep inside. Try to connect with her,” he instructed

I wanted to be sick.

“Rac… close your eyes,” he repeated, seeing me hesitate.

…And I did as he asked.

So basic. This was meant to be straightforward biology. Because turning into a woli was meant to be normal. Yep, just a totally ordinary thing to do.

But as I reached down towards it inside, I felt a spark of revulsion. One that stemmed from the idea of letting it control me once more. It was like tempting late, opening the door to allow it to hurt others; something that I had sworn to leave behind as I began my new life.

And so I said… no. No more Never again.

If we were to do this… then we were going to do it my way

And I quickly grabbed ahold of the creature lurking, its teeth bared at me from the shadows of my mind and I threw it to the surface. I threw it to the surface and held it in place, forcing it to do what I willed it to.

An action that was then swiftly followed by the sound of my joint cracking.

SNAP
…And another…

*SNAPPpo

…And another….

And soon I felt pain overcome me, my body shifting and twisting in all sorts of ways I didn’t think possible. Contorting into new shapes, burning with every modification … a loud orchestra of flesh and bone moving that overwhelmed my

ras

me?” I heard Kieran

III

pain wasn’t as bad as the last time. It felt manageable… And I kept if that way. Though it was

concentration to achieve.

had moved to my side, I could tell that much. Maybe to try and get a reply from me. But it wouldn’t matter for long. No, I could

only took another moment before everything stilled. The world stopped moving, my

“Rae?” Kieran asked.

IP

FDE

my vision. As I moved my head, it seemed as though everything was now… sharper, my senses feeling

the creature hostage inside, its teeth snapping at me for control. But not this time. This time, I wouldn’t allow it even

it had to be that way for

I hoped conveyed my

wanted. To prove I was

A wolf.

in the skin of the monster

try going for a

I mostly

+

1

shifting himself. And,

there was Kieran and then there was his wolf. When I’d first seen him in this form, It had very clearly been Kieran in control so to not

in charge. It felt

tell I was holding that side of

if he could, he didn’t show

he wanted me to follow him, I

built… and built… and built… and by the time I was finally taking my first steps, moving for the very first time as myself in this form… I

thin.

it broke. **Shift

2.2

I managed to command this one

that?” Kieran asked, a few moments later. “Is everything okay?” He’d been much faster at shifting forms than me, as

fine,” I

spoke, unable to hide the adrenaline that fear had shot

ICT

well,” he said,

his arms,

you’ll be shifting like a pro in no time. Don’t worry about it.” Oh, but I was worried. Of course, I was. This was yet another thing I needed to overcome. Another thing to prove my

Conquer… *t*

The beast inside.

to leave?” Kieran

get to know the people better and settle

“Ready.” I smiled.

the dining hall

annoying buzzing background noise that I’d learned to live with, but instead of noise, it was an urge to lash out at her. Putting it to the back of my head was just a way to enjoy her company in a weird, convoluted way. Whatever worked though, I guess. “…And then after I went to the temple, I

I said,

her next words that then took me by surprise, not expecting

having the time to do that. The wind always feels amazing against your fur, don’t you

shifting incident, feeling sick at the whole thing. And suddenly I

both.

much. The usual,”

“Did you – ,”

going to go to the bathroom quick,” I said,

the abruptness, but I hadn’t meant it maliciously. I was just starting

realising it was

reassured. And I left towards the

thoughts, feeling… unsettled and inadequate. Like I was out of place. I knew Allison hadn’t intentionally meant any harm, but her words had been a badly timed sting. I didn’t know the feeling she spoke about, I didn’t know how it felt to casually go running… I didn’t even know how to enjoy

11 had interrupted my concentration so harshly that it made me jump,