A Gift from the Goddess

Book Two-Ch#. 34

!!!AUTHOR NOTE: Apologies again for the recent issues with Chapter #33, the one where Ch# 32 and #33 were published within it. This should now be fixed so, if you still haven’t done so already, please double-check you’ve read Chapter #33 before reading this #34 here.

For those who already unlocked the chapter, you may need to ‘sign out’ and sign back into your Good Novel account or, if that doesn’t work, “Clear Cache”) for your local phone copy to be updated. Both of these options are found in the app’s ‘Profile’ tab -> “Settings”. However, keep in mind that Chapter #33 IS THERE, but you just needed to scroll down in order to read it. People unlocking it new from now on should only see the one chapter; #33.

Really sorry again that it happened. I was rushing to publish it that day and then I didn’t have the power to edit it once published. Unfortunately, G don’t work on weekends either. Thanks to everyone who commented to bring it to my attention. I’ll do my best to ensure this doesn’t happen again. 1

“…What? …What did you just say?”

I instantly looked up at him, unsure if I’d even heard him right.

Because he didn’t just say what I thought he did… right?

“I’m in love with you, Rae,” he repeated.

…No, he’d definitely just said it.

My heart thumped loudly in my chest.

“I want to spend every morning waking up next to you… every night kissing you until we fall asleep,” he continued. “I love your eyes, your smile, your laugh… I love the way you make me feel as if I matter. Not just because of my position or the mate bond, but because of me. Of who I am.”

I felt frozen in place, unsure how to react.

Because I had strong feelings for him as well, of course I did. But… there was another thought in my head. More important than anything else.

Because did Kieran even love me? Truly? Or did he just love the girl I’d been pretending to be this whole time?

I was unsure if he still would have said this to me if he knew the truth. The whole truth.

…Including my dark past.

“…Kieran… I’m not, ah…,” I started.

How do I tell him I’m not as perfect as he probably thinks? …That, up until recently, my day job was espionage and murder?

“…I’m not… as great as I might seem,” I said slowly. “I’ve loved every moment spent with you, every single minute you’ve given me. In fact, I struggle to think about what my life would be like without you now. But… the truth is….”

I shakily inhaled, forcing myself to do so since it felt as though I couldn’t breathe. This was something I’d been putting off for so long now that I couldn’t believe it was finally happening.

Everything was about to come crashing down… but I didn’t want to lie anymore.

And so I closed my eyes for a second, accepting it had gone on long enough.

“The truth is… I’m not who I seem,” I finished, meeting his gaze again. It was hard to keep a strong face. “I’m not a good person. And… I’m sorry. Sorry for keeping it from you… for leading you on… I’m sorry for letting myself become so wrapped up in wanting to be with you that I selfishly ignored it.”

“What…? I don’t understand what you mean.”

“I mean… I’ve done truly horrific things,

Kieran,” I said honestly, my eyes beginning to water with tears. “I was raised to handle the dirty side of my father’s business, no matter what that entailed. Sterling’s death was just a reminder of how that side will always be a part of me.”

“Don’t say that. Sterling tried to assault you. That doesn’t make you a bad person

“-But Killing more people than I can count probably does though.”

The words left my mouth too quickly to stop them… and they hung in the open between us.

“… You deserve better, Kieran. So much better,” I said quietly. “…Better than a rogue.

He held my gaze for a moment and it was the first time I’d ever seen such confliction in them. A look I never wanted to see. Not from him. Never from him.

“Rae…,” he started.

But then he sighed, rubbing a hand across his forehead.

…Rae, your past doesn’t matter to me,”

he finished. “It never has. When I brought you here, I made a vow to keep you safe and protect you from those who wanted to hurt you. That included your father, someone who I had already assumed had you doing some shady stuff.”

“But that past is still a core part of who I am. You can’t just… ignore it,” I said.

I had it my way, I would have already confronted that monster for what he did to you. The fact he’s still allowed to breathe… it boils my blood. Just remembering the bruises. and silver suppressors are enough to piss me off every

those things,” I argued. “I…

wanted to please a man who only sees you as

head. I didn’t even know what I wanted. At what point can I say it was no longer ignorance but simply innate nature to do what I did? That I’d been dangerous even before my father

good person and I had never even tried to be. Not before

never met? I would have

kind of woman Kieran

“All that matters to me is

warm sparks no longer feeling like a comfort right

you want to be.

my

voice trailed off.

an assignment. A person of interest to befriend

located. From that perspective… I was done. I should have already left and returned back home to my

Mission success.

glimpse of how good life could be with him now. How we were fated together and how this was some fantasy dream of saving me from my old, terrible life. A prince raising a girl from the

was

was… a Raven. A harbinger of death… just as I had been named for.

was no room here

I thought I did, then perhaps the kindest thing I could do would be to leave. Because maybe the next time I brought trouble here, it would be far, far worse than simply an uncle who had it coming.

I

wanting nothing more than to tell him what he wanted to hear. But… I’d told myself I was done lying to him. And

don’t know,” I repeated, firmer this time. “I’m sorry, Kieran.”

have burned from my memory the way he then looked at me. A look of hurt and pain, and one that instantly made me

me know when you figure it out,” he said. “I’ll be waiting for you. I always will be. There is nothing you could do or say that would ever make me feel differently

made this more difficult. He was deserving of a mate who could be what he needed. Not… whatever mistake I

paperwork error

words of his were the last spoken about it for that night. The atmosphere was tense, my head was pulsing with a headache, and everything felt… wrong. And as the night came

used to his warmth, to his touch. It was clear just how dependent on him I really was now. A dangerous thing for someone as conflicted as myself, where

I truly deserving of someone like Kieran? Was it possible to

would I find myself slipping back into old habits one day, unable to distinguish between

of my past did prove one thing to

genuinely good person,

I would never

next day, I

bed empty, I was left to dwell in my own thoughts, the sheets feeling colder than I

meant to guarantee that I would never become that

me? To start fresh with no looming threats from my

sake, but

I sighed, my head hurting once

he was just as determined to fix my past as he was to fix my wolf-shifting problems.

Allison said, catching

to grab breakfast, feeling in a daze as I did so. I hadn’t even sensed

Allison,” I said quietly, giving her a small smile.

innocent confusion, her sweet nature showing through.

“Did something else happen?”

nothing to worry about… just. tired, I guess.”

apparently wasn’t good enough of an answer as she

to do

her more attentively.

this morning,” she explained. “Maybe more tired than

Oh.

this stress was because I was trying to avoid that very thing from happening one day, though far

what might cheer him up,” she said.

frowned. “I’m not sure that’s going to fix this, Allison. It’s a bit… complicated.”

“No, no, I promise, it’ll be good. Plus, I’m sure you’ll enjoy it too. There’s no way you’ve never been curious about

“What…?”

she merely held out her hand for me

me eye it warily after the

Raven,” she said.

concede, grabbing her hand as she then led us through the packhouse.

we going?” I asked.

“It’s a special restricted area of the library.”