A Gift from the Goddess

Book Two-Ch#. 34

!!!AUTHOR NOTE: Apologies again for the recent issues with Chapter #33, the one where Ch# 32 and #33 were published within it. This should now be fixed so, if you still haven’t done so already, please double-check you’ve read Chapter #33 before reading this #34 here.

For those who already unlocked the chapter, you may need to ‘sign out’ and sign back into your Good Novel account or, if that doesn’t work, “Clear Cache”) for your local phone copy to be updated. Both of these options are found in the app’s ‘Profile’ tab -> “Settings”. However, keep in mind that Chapter #33 IS THERE, but you just needed to scroll down in order to read it. People unlocking it new from now on should only see the one chapter; #33.

Really sorry again that it happened. I was rushing to publish it that day and then I didn’t have the power to edit it once published. Unfortunately, G don’t work on weekends either. Thanks to everyone who commented to bring it to my attention. I’ll do my best to ensure this doesn’t happen again. 1

“…What? …What did you just say?”

I instantly looked up at him, unsure if I’d even heard him right.

Because he didn’t just say what I thought he did… right?

“I’m in love with you, Rae,” he repeated.

…No, he’d definitely just said it.

My heart thumped loudly in my chest.

“I want to spend every morning waking up next to you… every night kissing you until we fall asleep,” he continued. “I love your eyes, your smile, your laugh… I love the way you make me feel as if I matter. Not just because of my position or the mate bond, but because of me. Of who I am.”

I felt frozen in place, unsure how to react.

Because I had strong feelings for him as well, of course I did. But… there was another thought in my head. More important than anything else.

Because did Kieran even love me? Truly? Or did he just love the girl I’d been pretending to be this whole time?

I was unsure if he still would have said this to me if he knew the truth. The whole truth.

…Including my dark past.

“…Kieran… I’m not, ah…,” I started.

How do I tell him I’m not as perfect as he probably thinks? …That, up until recently, my day job was espionage and murder?

“…I’m not… as great as I might seem,” I said slowly. “I’ve loved every moment spent with you, every single minute you’ve given me. In fact, I struggle to think about what my life would be like without you now. But… the truth is….”

I shakily inhaled, forcing myself to do so since it felt as though I couldn’t breathe. This was something I’d been putting off for so long now that I couldn’t believe it was finally happening.

Everything was about to come crashing down… but I didn’t want to lie anymore.

And so I closed my eyes for a second, accepting it had gone on long enough.

“The truth is… I’m not who I seem,” I finished, meeting his gaze again. It was hard to keep a strong face. “I’m not a good person. And… I’m sorry. Sorry for keeping it from you… for leading you on… I’m sorry for letting myself become so wrapped up in wanting to be with you that I selfishly ignored it.”

“What…? I don’t understand what you mean.”

“I mean… I’ve done truly horrific things,

Kieran,” I said honestly, my eyes beginning to water with tears. “I was raised to handle the dirty side of my father’s business, no matter what that entailed. Sterling’s death was just a reminder of how that side will always be a part of me.”

“Don’t say that. Sterling tried to assault you. That doesn’t make you a bad person

“-But Killing more people than I can count probably does though.”

The words left my mouth too quickly to stop them… and they hung in the open between us.

“… You deserve better, Kieran. So much better,” I said quietly. “…Better than a rogue.

He held my gaze for a moment and it was the first time I’d ever seen such confliction in them. A look I never wanted to see. Not from him. Never from him.

“Rae…,” he started.

But then he sighed, rubbing a hand across his forehead.

…Rae, your past doesn’t matter to me,”

he finished. “It never has. When I brought you here, I made a vow to keep you safe and protect you from those who wanted to hurt you. That included your father, someone who I had already assumed had you doing some shady stuff.”

“But that past is still a core part of who I am. You can’t just… ignore it,” I said.

a right mind would blame you for that. In fact, if I had it my way, I would have already confronted that monster for what he did to you. The fact he’s still allowed to breathe… it boils my blood. Just remembering the bruises. and silver suppressors are

those things,” I argued. “I…

please a man who only sees you as

tongue, trying to sort through the mess inside my head. I didn’t even know what I wanted. At what point can I say it was no longer ignorance but simply innate nature to do

never a good person and I had never even tried to be.

a reason to do better but… if we’d never met? I would have probably kept on serving my father unquestionably until the day

that really the kind of woman Kieran wanted to be with?

to me is

touched my cheek, the warm sparks

want to be. And

caught in my throat, constricted

my voice

person of interest to

that perspective… I was done. I should have already left and returned

Mission success.

had a glimpse of how good life could be with him now. How we were fated together and how this was some fantasy dream of saving me from my

I was

death… just as I

no room here for

if I really did care for him as much as I thought I did, then perhaps the kindest thing I could do would be to leave. Because maybe the

know,” I finally

nothing more than to tell him what he wanted to hear. But… I’d told myself

know,” I repeated, firmer this

way he then looked at me. A look of hurt and pain, and one that instantly made me

let me know when you figure it out,” he said. “I’ll be waiting for you. I always will be. There is nothing you could do or say that would ever make me feel differently about you, Rae. Nothing.”

I did my best to blink back tears, I knew it was words like that which only made this more difficult. He was deserving of a mate who could be what he needed. Not… whatever mistake I had been.1

error by

was tense, my head was pulsing with a headache, and everything felt… wrong. And as the night came to a close, I felt myself breaking a little bit more as we slept separately. The first time in almost three weeks.

to his touch. It was clear just how dependent on him I really was now. A dangerous thing

of someone like Kieran? Was it possible to change? 1

day, unable to distinguish between right and wrong in

acceptance of my past did prove one thing to

good person, through and through.

would

day, I awoke

empty, I was left to dwell in my own thoughts, the sheets feeling colder than I remembered

that I would never become

exist to erase that part of me? To start fresh with no looming threats from my past?

sake, but what if that was

my head hurting once

going to hurt both of us. Clearly, he was just as determined to fix

having troubles?” Allison said, catching me off guard.

to the kitchen to grab breakfast, feeling in a daze as

hi, Allison,” I said quietly, giving her a small smile.

confusion, her

wrong?” she asked. “Did something else happen?”

nothing to worry about… just. tired, I

wasn’t good enough of an answer as she pressed for

it to do

at her more attentively. ” How…?”

I saw him this morning,” she explained. “Maybe more

Oh.

of this stress was because I was trying to avoid that very thing from happening one day, though far worse in the future, I was sure.

she said.

going to fix this, Allison.

no, I promise, it’ll be good. Plus, I’m sure you’ll enjoy it too. There’s no way you’ve never been

“What…?”

of answering, she merely held out her hand

that made me eye it warily after

Raven,” she

myself concede, grabbing her hand as she then

going?” I

“It’s a special restricted