A Gift from the Goddess

Book Two-Ch#. 34

!!!AUTHOR NOTE: Apologies again for the recent issues with Chapter #33, the one where Ch# 32 and #33 were published within it. This should now be fixed so, if you still haven’t done so already, please double-check you’ve read Chapter #33 before reading this #34 here.

For those who already unlocked the chapter, you may need to ‘sign out’ and sign back into your Good Novel account or, if that doesn’t work, “Clear Cache”) for your local phone copy to be updated. Both of these options are found in the app’s ‘Profile’ tab -> “Settings”. However, keep in mind that Chapter #33 IS THERE, but you just needed to scroll down in order to read it. People unlocking it new from now on should only see the one chapter; #33.

Really sorry again that it happened. I was rushing to publish it that day and then I didn’t have the power to edit it once published. Unfortunately, G don’t work on weekends either. Thanks to everyone who commented to bring it to my attention. I’ll do my best to ensure this doesn’t happen again. 1

“…What? …What did you just say?”

I instantly looked up at him, unsure if I’d even heard him right.

Because he didn’t just say what I thought he did… right?

“I’m in love with you, Rae,” he repeated.

…No, he’d definitely just said it.

My heart thumped loudly in my chest.

“I want to spend every morning waking up next to you… every night kissing you until we fall asleep,” he continued. “I love your eyes, your smile, your laugh… I love the way you make me feel as if I matter. Not just because of my position or the mate bond, but because of me. Of who I am.”

I felt frozen in place, unsure how to react.

Because I had strong feelings for him as well, of course I did. But… there was another thought in my head. More important than anything else.

Because did Kieran even love me? Truly? Or did he just love the girl I’d been pretending to be this whole time?

I was unsure if he still would have said this to me if he knew the truth. The whole truth.

…Including my dark past.

“…Kieran… I’m not, ah…,” I started.

How do I tell him I’m not as perfect as he probably thinks? …That, up until recently, my day job was espionage and murder?

“…I’m not… as great as I might seem,” I said slowly. “I’ve loved every moment spent with you, every single minute you’ve given me. In fact, I struggle to think about what my life would be like without you now. But… the truth is….”

I shakily inhaled, forcing myself to do so since it felt as though I couldn’t breathe. This was something I’d been putting off for so long now that I couldn’t believe it was finally happening.

Everything was about to come crashing down… but I didn’t want to lie anymore.

And so I closed my eyes for a second, accepting it had gone on long enough.

“The truth is… I’m not who I seem,” I finished, meeting his gaze again. It was hard to keep a strong face. “I’m not a good person. And… I’m sorry. Sorry for keeping it from you… for leading you on… I’m sorry for letting myself become so wrapped up in wanting to be with you that I selfishly ignored it.”

“What…? I don’t understand what you mean.”

“I mean… I’ve done truly horrific things,

Kieran,” I said honestly, my eyes beginning to water with tears. “I was raised to handle the dirty side of my father’s business, no matter what that entailed. Sterling’s death was just a reminder of how that side will always be a part of me.”

“Don’t say that. Sterling tried to assault you. That doesn’t make you a bad person

“-But Killing more people than I can count probably does though.”

The words left my mouth too quickly to stop them… and they hung in the open between us.

“… You deserve better, Kieran. So much better,” I said quietly. “…Better than a rogue.

He held my gaze for a moment and it was the first time I’d ever seen such confliction in them. A look I never wanted to see. Not from him. Never from him.

“Rae…,” he started.

But then he sighed, rubbing a hand across his forehead.

…Rae, your past doesn’t matter to me,”

he finished. “It never has. When I brought you here, I made a vow to keep you safe and protect you from those who wanted to hurt you. That included your father, someone who I had already assumed had you doing some shady stuff.”

“But that past is still a core part of who I am. You can’t just… ignore it,” I said.

the biggest issue we ever have to face publicly is just crimes your father forced you to do, then I think we’ll be fine. No one in a right mind would blame you for that. In fact, if I had it my way, I would have already confronted that monster for what he did to you. The fact he’s still allowed to breathe… it boils my blood. Just remembering the bruises. and silver suppressors are enough to piss me off every time I think

still did all those things,” I

you didn’t. You just wanted to please a man who

through the mess inside my head. I didn’t even know what I wanted. At what point can I say it was no longer ignorance

I had never even tried to be. Not before Kieran,

reason to do better but… if we’d never met? I would have probably kept on serving my father unquestionably until the day one of us finally died.

the kind of woman Kieran wanted to

said gently, breaking me from my thoughts. “All that matters to me is

cheek, the warm sparks no longer feeling like

who you want to be. And I promise I’ll

in my throat,

my voice

an assignment. A person of interest to befriend for information.

documents I had just located. From that perspective… I was done. I should have

Mission success.

we were fated together and how this was some fantasy dream of saving me from my old, terrible life.

was no

was… a Raven. A harbinger of death…

here

did care for him as much as I thought I did, then perhaps the kindest thing I could do would be to leave. Because maybe the next time I brought trouble here, it would be far, far

don’t know,” I finally

heart was racing as I spoke, wanting nothing more than to tell him what he wanted to hear. But… I’d told myself I was done lying to him. And the truth was that I really didn’t know

I repeated, firmer this time. “I’m

could have burned from my memory the way he then looked at me. A look of hurt and pain, and one that instantly made me want to remedy things.

well, let me know when you figure it out,” he said. “I’ll be waiting for you. I always will be. There is nothing you could do or say that would

it was words like that which only made this more difficult. He was deserving of a mate who could

error

tense, my head was pulsing with a headache, and everything felt… wrong. And as the night

clear just how dependent on him I really was now. A dangerous

Kieran? Was

habits one day, unable to distinguish between right and wrong in

of my past did prove one thing

good person, through

would never be.

I awoke feeling

empty, I was left to dwell in my own thoughts, the sheets feeling colder than I remembered them to

that I would never become that person

to erase that part of me? To start fresh

be ‘Rae’ for Kieran’s sake, but what if that was also just a

my head

was only going to hurt both of us. Clearly, he was just as determined to fix my past as he was to fix my wolf-shifting problems. But I wasn’t too sure if this

having troubles?” Allison said, catching

the kitchen to grab breakfast, feeling in a daze as I did

quietly, giving her a small

tilted in innocent confusion, her sweet nature showing through. 1

“Did something else happen?”

about… just. tired,

good enough of an answer as she

it to do with Kieran?”

I looked at her more

when I saw him this morning,” she explained. “Maybe more

Oh.

wanted was to hurt him. All of this stress was because

what might cheer him up,” she said. “A little surprise to

sure that’s going to fix this,

it’ll be good. Plus, I’m sure you’ll

“What…?”

of answering, she merely held out her hand

eye it warily

Raven,” she

her hand as she then led us

are we going?” I

she said. “It’s a special restricted area of the library.”