A Gift from the Goddess

Book Two – Ch.# 38

Two months had gone by since my escape from Ashwood. 1

The day still haunted me whenever I thought about it, remembering the faces of loathing, remembering the fear and confusion… remembering the pain of leaving Kieran.

It was that pain which was still the hardest. to deal with, like an aching that never left me. A constant thorn in my side to remind me how we couldn’t be together… and it wasn’t just thoughts either.

With the suppressors assumedly now completely worn off, for the first time I was experiencing living with what I imagined our entire species did; feelings that belonged to a creature inside you. Every single day it was like I could feel its pain crying for Kieran, whimpering internally as if I’d amputated its arm off. It was exhausting… and it only made it more difficult.

Sometimes, in my darkest hours, I contemplated taking the suppressors again. There had been one bottle left behind which now stood atop my bedroom dresser, staring at me with the promise of making the wolf go silent once more. To numb myself to the extra feelings that came with being a werewolf and fall back into my days of ignorance.

I would reach my hand out towards the pills … but stop myself every time.

And, instead, I would drink.

Alcohol. No fancy ingredients required, just good ol’ liquor. Just enough to take the edge off. Enough to distance myself from the chaos in my head as I continued my work, slipping back into routine with my father.

Things between us had been better, my absence clearly a needed one. He seemed more aware of me now, even more… gentle?

If that was even possible for him. But nevertheless, I was certain that Ashwood would have found me already had he not done such an extensive job at hiding my existence all these years.

And in return for that protection, I did what I always did.

…I did my job.

“Raven, can I get you another drink?” asked the man, Jack Hamilton.

I sat on a plush expensive couch inside a high -end bar, attentively chatting closely with the man seated next to me. He owned the establishment that we were now tucked away in the private corner of. Just the two of

“That’s okay,” I said, smiling. “Thank you though.”

“You know… I’ve never seen eyes quite as mesmerising as yours before,” he said, leaning forward. “The golden colour is fascinating.”

… And it was then that his hand reached over to touch my thigh, the intention obvious.

I knew that this would be the case. In fact, I’d been trying to establish this connection. I was here for information today and that was always made easier when a man stopped thinking with their head.

However, it unfortunately caused a stir of something else inside me… because I felt as a small growl rumbled through my chest in warning. A low threat in the tone. Not my doing, of course… but my wolf’s. Now choosing to make my life difficult with her inability to let me work. To her, only Kieran was allowed to touch us.

I quickly coughed to disguise it and smiled.

“Apologies… I think I might actually get that drink after all,” I said. “I’ll go get it though. Stay right here for me.”

And as I stood up, I gently touched his cheek to seal the promise. A gesture that caused another stir inside me, taking all my control to push the wolf back.

Goddammit. They were making this so unnecessarily difficult.

“Your strongest whiskey, thanks,” I said to the bartender. “Add it to Jack Hamilton’s tab.”

They gave me an odd look but did as I asked, and I downed it the second he stopped pouring.

“The person you’re pining for has a family trying to kill us,” I said quietly to my wolf. ” Stop making this harder than it needs to be.”

And slowly, I closed my eyes briefly as I let the alcohol wash over me, feeling as the wolf quietened inside once more. It wasn’t as good as the suppressors had once been, but it was enough.

“…You’re not the only one who misses him,” I whispered sadly.

No… not the only one. But some things were more important than desires.

Things like… surviving.

And it was with that very thought in mind that I then walked back over to my assignment.

me, Jack… is this the only bar you own?” I started, touching his arm intimately. “I just adore it so much. Please tell me you have others in the city. Perhaps closer to town on Central Avenue? I’m dying to visit more often but this one

mention it,” he said, leaning in closer. His gaze was switching from my eyes to my lips, but I bit back my discomfort.

for purchasing, I felt myself regress into my mind a little bit more, going through the motions of doing what I had to do. Giving him my attention in exchange for the information my father asked for.

Kieran whenever he touched

that night feeling hollow inside but with a job

see another day.

needed

I had

with a headache, taking a taxi back to my house. I was welcomed home by the sight of my front gate, the smell of familiarity in the air stemming from the place I grew

do this.

the gate, I heard as someone then called

“Rae.”

adrenaline pumping through me over who it was, needing so badly to see him again. To

found that it wasn’t

to be here that I’d tricked myself into thinking it could be real. That Kieran somehow knew where

fairy

Zac,” I said, the disappointment thick in

deal with the line of questions I knew he had. Truthfully, I just wanted to be

apparently wasn’t very subtle as he immediately called me

avoiding my calls and refusing to meet with me,” he said. “I’ve been trying to get

new phone,” I said. “The last

called your house phone a thousand times asking for you. I highly doubt the extensive list of excuses

been busy

I needed to talk to you,” he said. “You’ve had me covering up Noah’s existence for months now, had me do errands for you that jeopardise my own life. I need some answers on what exactly you expect me to do from here. Or… I don’t know… some help? I’m doing this all by myself

want to deal with this right now. I’d had a long night entertaining

it and we can talk another time. I’ve just finished a

you go inside, you’re going to start dodging my calls again. Give me some answers. Just… at least tell me why we’re doing this. Just give me

“Another time.”

open the gate, he

isn’t fair that I

mid-sentence, his nose

said you just came from a job?

I snapped angrily, ripping my

again. It was as if everything from tonight and the past

of emotions that I wasn’t sure how to process.

said the words, it was if something came over

eyes relaxing as his

“I’m so sorry, Raven. I

“What…?”

please don’t

doing? Is this

widened in genuine concern. “No! Of course not! I really am sorry. I’ll leave you be. I hope you’ll come talk to me soon

towards him cautiously, to which he kept moving backwards to give

Not in this way which felt

me and rightfully so,” I said, immediately sobering

a lot going on and it was my fault for bothering you.”

“Zac, stop this.’

absolutely right that I went too far.”

I argued. “I was being unreasonably horrible because of things going on in my life that are not

acting like Zac at all. It was like he’d been replaced by

‘order’ of authority like what

done to Sterling, Allison and Daniel?

leaving the pack as Sterling had. Zac was human and hadn’t sworn loyalty to me. This didn’t feel like he was obeying an order, it felt

came back to me, her description of the Devil’s ‘ siren

I realised what

this was my

that I really was what they said