A Gift from the Goddess

Book Two – Ch.# 43

“Breathe,” Myra said, gesturing with her hands for me to inhale. “Breathe and hold it.”

We’d been at this for a few hours now, Myra doing her best to teach me what she could. She seemed to know a lot about how the ability worked despite not possessing it herself. Though, as she had already previously pointed out, she’d raised a few generations of Knight children.

Truthfully, I didn’t expect to feel as comfortable around her as I did. We’d only just met but there seemed to be a deeper connection, something that was drawing me to her. A feeling of safety and reassurance in her presence, perhaps.

“…I am,” I muttered.

“Then ask me for this pen,” she said, holding it up in front of me. “Remember to dig deep inside, connect with that spark, and pull it forward.”

I did as she instructed, doing my best to reach for it. But it was difficult, increasingly so. The more we did this, the worse a headache was pulsing in my mind, slowly becoming worse.

I reached… and reached… and reached… and when I thought I could feel the spark, I grabbed a hold of it.

“Myra… could you please give me the pen?” I asked, trying to maintain it.

I watched as her eyes dilated for merely a second, her hand twitching towards me. However, she quickly snapped out of it, clapping her hands to sever the link.

I’d learned this was a method of breaking the influence, the loud noise intending to startle me. Though she had warned me that this may not always work, especially once I become accustomed to the abrupt distraction.

“I know you can do better than that,” she said, pursing her lips.

And I sighed in exhaustion.

“You’re struggling to connect,” she noted. ” Are you holding yourself back? Don’t be afraid to rely on your wolf if you need to. They can help if you let them.”

And I bit the inside of my cheek, uncomfortable.

“I’d… rather not,” I said.

She tilted her head. “Why? What’s the matter?”

“Well… we just don’t, ah… get along, I suppose,” I admitted.

“But you’re the same person?” she said, as if it should have been obvious. “Your wolf is just an extension of yourself.”

And yet I hated that creature with a passion.

“If you are warring with your wolf, Rheyna, then it just tells me you have a lot of conflict inside. To hate her is to hate yourself. And to put blame on her for something she did is merely a method of scapegoating her for your own mistakes, your own guilt.”

I let her words sink in, unsure how to feel.

…Could that really be true? I guess I had blamed the beast for most of my problems despite my own actions being not much better. Anything it had done, I had technically done as well.

My struggle was born out of fear, out of anxiety that things would go wrong if I allowed it even an inch. It was out of a hatred for losing control… out of feeling a painful longing for things I missed.

“How about trying… an emotional stimulus,” she then said, making me look up confused.

She held a finger to her chin as if she were thinking.

“Aria had trouble with her wolf also. She once told me that she learnt how to use her ability by using emotional energy,” she continued. “This is why stressful situations tend to heighten the effect. Perhaps try thinking of something that conveys a strong emotional response for you… then hold onto it as you go again.”

The only strong emotion I was feeling right now was immense defeat and a keen desire for a relaxing bubble bath… but I doubted that would be good enough for this exercise.

And so I paused to think a little deeper.

I had no shortage of emotionally charged memories. I’d lived through enough pain, fear and heartbreak to last me a lifetime. But they were dangerous to use, requiring me to dredge up feelings I’d purposely buried for my own protection.

Though… I guess there were some more recent events that could work….

“Think… then breathe,” Myra instructed. ” Hold it in your chest and concentrate. Connect.”

Connect. Right. Okay.

Connecting deep inside myself… to the newer emotions surrounding my time here….

Something that simply caused my headache to worsen, but I pushed through it.

“…Can I please have the pen?” I asked.

came out flat.

it, Rheyna!” Myra instructed sternly.

roughly against my chest, almost forcing the air out of my lungs as a crease formed between her brows. I knew she was just trying to help

not concentrating

thought about my time here, about my connection to Myra. How she felt somewhat like a mother figure, something I’d never known. A gap in my

pen,” I repeated, gritting

and shoved her hand against me once more,

deeper, to

to the anguish of having to grow

who treated her with love

me the

starting to sting at my eyes now, but I did my best to hold on to the

Myra seemed to

over her… but it still

push past the barrier in my head… to grab a hold of the deepest corners

of memories as I did so.

that made no

a night filled with stars above.

And running.

So much running.

stop the tears from flowing now. “Give

hand twitched towards me, ever

me the pen, Myra!”

me what

in a dreamy state. “Whatever you

to flash with more frequency. Just still images that perplexed me, snippets that I couldn’t piece

feel it. Feel the emotion

was unbearable. All stemming from the memory… one where…

me,” I cried. “Promise me you won’t stay behind.”

sure who I was talking to anymore but Myra’s expression changed to one of confusion, the influence clearly still working but the

do you mean?” she then

…And I blinked.

blinked and pulled myself out of

far. I’d gone too far.

reason, things I didn’t want to recall. And

breathe and then, slowly, I looked back up towards Myra, finding her still quietly watching me in a daze.

accomplishment in itself given how resistant she was to

do anything I asked. In the wrong hands, an ability like this could be used for terrible

make quick work of utilising. I knew that adding this to my already fatal skillset would

cost maybe too great.

at Myra… I proceeded to clap my

what?” she said, coming back to reality. “Did

her bearings before finally

and began to fuss

didn’t move as she worked, instead choosing to further calm myself

so much,” she scolded. “You’ll learn how to use it eventually. It takes practice. These

of what had just happened, much

more potential for

I’ll be training this anymore,” I announced. “I appreciate your help

instantly taken aback, her hand freezing.

I said quietly. “I go by Raven these days. It’s… fitting.”

instead, her

“I’m almost sad that you don’t take after me at all,

“Myra…?”

the original Council as well,” she continued. “She

east. By far one of the most beautiful women I’d ever

just like the rest of us, the people forcefully

picture inside. It contained the four faces I recalled from the painting in Ashwood, Myra’s

looked a lot like…

said pointing them all out. “The Siren… The Angel of Death.” Myra had sighed before saying her own,

“…The Raven?”

a

stared at her picture, the resemblance

I

a