A Lifetime With You by Athrhteera

Chapter 47

Alena

The drive was long and tiring so when I had reached the villa, all I could do was lay down on the king-sized bed.

My eyes were swollen from crying throughout the whole drive which made it even harder to keep them open. Memories of our marriage kept replaying in my head and I had regretted my impulsive decision but I kept going, wanting to leave it all behind. At least for the time being. Luckily enough I was s still

on maternity leave because if not, I was going to risk my career too. A career I had worked hard for was not worth risking; despite my current mental health issues. I looked up at my hands, feeling them oddly light without the two rings.

I had somehow gotten used to wearing them, that somehow it felt empty now.

Just like that, the tears began to fall again. The sobs used to be quiet but now I didn't have to hide them anymore as they filled the quiet room.

I didn't know where else to go other than our vacation villa which was located seven hours away from our home-it felt far enough yet somehow safe. This villa was always empty, we only occasionally stop by whenever we wanted to be away from the city but the last time we went, we had filled the villa with beautiful memories.

My hands soothed the sheets, somehow they smelled like home.

I couldn't understand the main reason behind all of this but I knew I wanted my own time alone, further else.

When the time came, I was going to home.

go

I just didn't know where home was anymore.

away from anyone

As I closed my eyes, I remembered back to when Matteo had brought me here. He carried me all the way from the car to the front door, in bridal style. We felt like newlyweds even when we had been married for months at the time.

The way he kissed my lips and showered me with his love; he was always perfect.

also remembered when he took care of me when I was sick. Those rough nights with high fever that I had to be admitted to the emergency, not once did he leave my side. He had stayed beside me the whole night, holding my hand until he fell asleep. I realised I how hard

hard it was to love me. Yet, he pushed through and made it seemed so easy.

Throughout my first trimester was hard but he made the journey bearable. Every morning was the worst because I couldn't stop going to the bathroom to throw everything up, yet he soothed and comforted me. He fulfilled my cravings. He understood my mood swings. I was blessed with a good husband. Why was I throwing it all away?

My heart ached at the thought of losing Matteo. We were never apart ever since we got married. Now, I was convincing myself we just needed a bit of time away until we could think straight, without hurting each other.

I knew if I told him the reason why, he was never going to let me leave.

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I knew if I had expressed my feelings, he was only going to want to be with me more. Chapter 47

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This was a healing journey of my own until I could find peace within. It didn't mind how long it was going to take for me to find it but I wanted to come back stronger and better, where Matteo and I could be ourselves again.

hated every time i hurt him. I hated every

me and I never wanted to put him through the

I had fallen asleep with

time to walk

pulling

I was. I spent hours driving on my own, crying and I didn't even take my time to 'shower once I reached here. So, yes, I knew I

don't look like yourself, dear."

me?" I asked, closing

"I have my ways."

"Shit-"

the words, "Don't worry, it's just me. Matteo

a breath of

it be

it

going with

two?"

Still

you found me." I shrugged, making

supposed to stop by the grocery store before coming

brother has placed a tracker in your car. That's how I

only for

sip of water before sitting on the stool, ignoring my mother's stare. Knowing her well enough, she had a lot to say but she was trying hard not to burst. She had a lot to ask as well. "Matteo and your

"Did

you tell them?

No.

09.

to his Mama," she

25

Just

like

body in awhile and how much I had missed her touch, regardless of how far I went. She was always my mother, the one who understood me the most.

don't question it like that, sweetheart. You're my

girls don't breakdown."

girls breakdown all the time. How

knowing well enough I meant

was Marco I meant. Mama was the most excited after Matteo when she heard about my pregnancy and she had planned many things. Of course, when

she

this could happen to anyone and she never blamed me for my

We all miss him," she

hating the fact I could

tell Matteo

long do you plan on

as long as I

"He worries about

know. I just can't be around him for