A Lifetime With You by Athrhteera

Chapter 47

Alena

The drive was long and tiring so when I had reached the villa, all I could do was lay down on the king-sized bed.

My eyes were swollen from crying throughout the whole drive which made it even harder to keep them open. Memories of our marriage kept replaying in my head and I had regretted my impulsive decision but I kept going, wanting to leave it all behind. At least for the time being. Luckily enough I was s still

on maternity leave because if not, I was going to risk my career too. A career I had worked hard for was not worth risking; despite my current mental health issues. I looked up at my hands, feeling them oddly light without the two rings.

I had somehow gotten used to wearing them, that somehow it felt empty now.

Just like that, the tears began to fall again. The sobs used to be quiet but now I didn't have to hide them anymore as they filled the quiet room.

I didn't know where else to go other than our vacation villa which was located seven hours away from our home-it felt far enough yet somehow safe. This villa was always empty, we only occasionally stop by whenever we wanted to be away from the city but the last time we went, we had filled the villa with beautiful memories.

My hands soothed the sheets, somehow they smelled like home.

I couldn't understand the main reason behind all of this but I knew I wanted my own time alone, further else.

When the time came, I was going to home.

go

I just didn't know where home was anymore.

away from anyone

As I closed my eyes, I remembered back to when Matteo had brought me here. He carried me all the way from the car to the front door, in bridal style. We felt like newlyweds even when we had been married for months at the time.

The way he kissed my lips and showered me with his love; he was always perfect.

also remembered when he took care of me when I was sick. Those rough nights with high fever that I had to be admitted to the emergency, not once did he leave my side. He had stayed beside me the whole night, holding my hand until he fell asleep. I realised I how hard

hard it was to love me. Yet, he pushed through and made it seemed so easy.

Throughout my first trimester was hard but he made the journey bearable. Every morning was the worst because I couldn't stop going to the bathroom to throw everything up, yet he soothed and comforted me. He fulfilled my cravings. He understood my mood swings. I was blessed with a good husband. Why was I throwing it all away?

My heart ached at the thought of losing Matteo. We were never apart ever since we got married. Now, I was convincing myself we just needed a bit of time away until we could think straight, without hurting each other.

I knew if I told him the reason why, he was never going to let me leave.

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I knew if I had expressed my feelings, he was only going to want to be with me more. Chapter 47

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This was a healing journey of my own until I could find peace within. It didn't mind how long it was going to take for me to find it but I wanted to come back stronger and better, where Matteo and I could be ourselves again.

hated every time i hurt him. I hated every

sufferings he went through before me and I never wanted to put him through the

I

in the morning was the loud knocking on the front door. I had taken my time to walk down the stairs and glanced at the glass window but the figure outside had taken me by surprise-it was

sighed, pulling

in disgust, taking in my appearance. Truth be told, I didn't need to look in the mirror to see how much of a mess I was. I spent hours

like yourself, dear." Mama

you find me?" I asked,

"I have my ways."

"Shit-"

could say the words, "Don't worry, it's

let out a breath

be that

it

is going with

two?"

Still

explain how you found me." I shrugged, making my way towards the kitchen with her

to spoil-I was supposed to stop by the grocery store before coming here. At least I could eat something in the morning. Maybe, for as long as I was going to be here. As long as Matteo remained

your car. That's how I found you," she replied. "Seems more psychotic than

like us, it's only for the sake of our

enough, she had a lot to say but she was trying hard not to burst. She had a lot to ask as well. "Matteo and your father are looking everywhere for you."

"Did

tell them? Did

No.

09.

his

Oct 25

Just

like

in awhile and how much I had missed her touch, regardless of how far I went. She was always my mother, the one who understood me the most. "Why

don't question it like that,

girls don't breakdown."

time. How you come back is what

I muttered, knowing well enough I

Marco I meant. Mama was the most excited after Matteo when she heard about my pregnancy and she had planned many things. Of course,

she

to anyone and she never blamed me for my angel

We all miss him," she

hating the fact I could never hold my

tell Matteo

you plan

long as I

sighed, "He worries about

just can't be around him