He answered me in a jumbled English and Paterian. He did not understand this was good-bye forever and told me he wanted to swim tonight. Jonathan asked if Daddy would take him and his Brothers to swim.

“Perhaps,” I called, my voice finally breaking, as they loaded him on the transport, “it will be a busy night. You have much to do and a long way to travel.”

The pull of the new family was too strong. He couldn’t stay interested in something they weren’t worried about. His attention quickly went back to his lead Brother, who was placed beside him.

The transport was driven by a man and he herded the children to the center. It raised up and began to move forward. Seeing Jonathan leaving me tore my heart, but I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. He had never been on a transport and squealed with delight as it moved. My boy took joy in every new experience.

“She is a good woman,” Nu-reeh said, “powerful. She and her Sisters own many Administrators. They run their compounds well.”

“Thank you, Mistress,” I whispered hoarsely as the transport got smaller and smaller in the distance.

and safe now, I

the Large moon. I didn’tmenstruatebecause Nu-reeh saw to it that I was given the bitter drink daily to prevent conception. I was so very grateful I would not have to go through pregnancy again so soon. I used

a fight and a battle not to fall into the depression. I remembered how it had taken my will. Coming back from that had been painful and I wasn’t sure I could do it again. Using my friends and family I sought to center myself on the future. I would never give up. The only way to get my precious boy back was

N G E L A ‘s L I B

exercised with Damien and his Brothers at night. My men and I read the pad every day finding out

Jonathan. I dreamed of him at night. In my mind I saw him growing up and changing. Quiet moments always found my thoughts drifting

demanded firmly during the evening

up from my food

to me?” I asked

of him, talk to us,“

you do that. We

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