Accidental Surrogate for Alpha

Ella

I’m holding my breath for the second time this evening, though this time it isn’t to save myself from any bad smells or illness. Now l’m waiting to see if Sinclair will be honest with me about his ex-wife, or if he’ll let me down again with another lie. In truth I’m expecting him to disappoint me, though I don’t believe he has bad intentions. On the contrary, I think he’s much too determined to protect me – but he’s very mistaken if he thinks keeping me in the dark is going to make me safer.

If anything it will put me more at risk. I don’t want to be blindsided again, and after what happened with Mike I feel especially sensitive about dishonesty – however well intentioned.

He sighs, and drops his hands from my face. His green eyes bore into me, and a muscle flutters in his cheek, betraying his agitation over the evening’s events.

“Roger wasn’t entirely wrong. Lydia is back because she wants us to try again.”

For a moment I’m so surprised he actually admitted this that I can’t speak. At the same time, my heart sinks and swells. It hurts me to know this information, but I’m touched and impressed that Sinclair confided in me. He really does seem to be trying to do better and communicate more, and I appreciate it immensely. As I work through my conflicting feelings I gradually wrap my mind around his words. “Try again.” I repeat. “For a baby, or as mates?”

“Both.” Sinclair answers simply, shaking his head.

But it’s not going to happen.”

I blink, “Why not?”

“There’s a reason I didn’t go after Lydia when she left.” Sinclair growls, a dark look overtaking his features.

“She might have walked out, but our marriage was over for a long time by then.”

“But I thought..” I trail off, remembering Sinclair and Roger’s conflicting statements about mates. Roger made it sound like fated couples shared a love deeper than any ocean and no chosen bond could ever compete, but Sinclair described things differently. He said that he and Lydia hadn’t been good for one another, that some chosen couples were happier than fated ones. “You’re fated,” I finally continue, wondering if I’m asking this because I believe it, or because I’m afraid of the possibility. “Don’t you love her?”

I can imagine the boy he once was. I can imagine a young Sinclair diving headfirst into love without any fear at all – driven by

she intends them to stay together forever, or even that they’re well suited to each other.” Sinclair explains thoughtfully. “Sometimes they might be sent to test a chosen couple’s bond, or

always a larger plan, though it’s hard to accept that the painful parts of life serve any purpose

think that I spent all those years with Mike for a reason I don’t yet understand, than believe it

have conceived this baby.” His eyes sparkle with mischief, and his grin turns positively canine. “Though l’d still like

I point out, covering his hand with my own and wishing I could feel our child’s emotions the way Sinclair does. “You didn’t say whether you still love

“I don’t want to talk about Lydia anymore. I just

I don’t feel confident enough with him to press my luck on the matter. I know the look of a man who’s said all he’s going to say on

around my body. “It’s only eight o’clock.” He reminds me, his brow wrinkling with concern when he realizes I’m still wearing my feast dress. “Were you too exhausted to

just really cold after the festival. I couldn’t feel my fingers

cheek. “Poor baby, do you feel better

I answer, tilting my chin up and shooting him an accusing stare. “Until you came

and blows my house down

let’s warm you up.” Sinclair purrs, just before

but the little voice in my head pushes me to give chase, and my human instincts don’t need any encouragement to run from

strips off my dress, and I

over our heads, and all I can see is the dim glow of his green eyes. “I thought the idea was to

to work.” He smirks – l can’t see it, but I hear it in his

you just like having me n*ked. I think maybe I should go climb into a nice