Accidental Surrogate for Alpha

Chapter 165

#Chapter 165 - Sinclair’s Decision

Ella

I'm on cloud nine when we return from the refugee camps. My wolf is practically crowing with her success supporting our mate in his darkest and most thick-headed moment, and even my sister's troubles with Roger aren't enough to bring me down.

I take a quick shower before dinner, my mind swirling with ideas to surprise Sinclair this evening. He's been going through so much and trying to bear it all alone, and all I want is to be there for him. I decide to sneak away while he's finishing up his work so I can task a few servants with collecting some romantic items for tonight: massage oils so I can work the knots out of his tense muscles, chocolate and candies to indulge his sweet tooth... and maybe spread over my body for him to devour, candles and rose petals to set the mood, even some sexy pregnancy lingerie to tempt him.

I’m so excited to put my plan into motion that I'm grinning when I exit the bathroom, still toweling my hair dry. Unfortunately I stop dead in my tracks when I see him waiting for me, seated at the end of the bed watching me with a somber expression. Instantly I know that something is wrong, but I can’t imagine what it might be after we had such a great day.

"Sit down, trouble." Sinclair instructs gently, patting the bed beside him.

My anxiety immediately spikes. I can count the number of times my mate has been in our bed without touching me in some way on one hand. Still, I gingerly cross the floor, cradling my pregnant belly in my hands, and perch beside him. I’m sure he can sense my unease, but instead of sending me waves of comfort in response, I feel only regret pulsing through our bond." What is it?"

Sinclair gazes down at me with grim determination. "I've thought about this a lot, Ella. I've tried my best to be objective and not let my own wants sway me, and I've decided that when I leave on my diplomatic mission... I can’t, in good conscience, take you with me.”

My heart sinks, and my wolf whines pitifully in my head. "Why not? You promised you would think about it."

"I have, baby." Sinclair insists. "And it wasn't easy. But I'd rather trust you with the devil I know than the one I don't. I know the security risks here, I know the guard set up and emergency contingencies, I know Gabriel. I can't say that about any of the places I’m going. I tried to work out some way to bring you along but at the end of the day I simply can't trust unknown wolves with your safety, and I have to think that the Royal Palace is the most secure place in Vanara, whether I'm here or not."

argue, pulling both of my legs onto the bed and turning towards him. ‘Think about how much I benefitted the campaign. If you need to

"I thought about that, but I'm not sure the advantage you provide would

I might be able to help, but not enough to really

mean.” Sinclair corrects immediately. "I mean that I would rather try my best and fail, than for both of us

about the third possibility?" I press. “Where you take me and we win them all over and no one gets

crinkling with affection. "It's still

beginning to quiver, and I hear his wolf whine in my head, agitated by my imminent tears. "So you'd rather lose the

don’t appreciate how much value you bring to the table, but because I’m

a team."

helping Gabriel make arrangements for the refugees arriving from the continent, and helping Hugo respond to developments back home - plan countermoves when I'm out of reach. Not to mention growing our pup so that we have an heir when

thoughts can barely keep up with this. Until now, Sinclair hasn't mentioned anything about me acting as his official Luna in all this, but then again we've had little opportunity to talk about my role since my wolf woke up. "You mean, you’re going to let me help strategize? To sit in on policy and warmaking meetings?" I ask,

"Of course. You don't think I’m going to waste that brain of yours,

been so concerned with shielding me from stress." I reply, trying to justify

while but I've figured out that being out of the loop only makes you more anxious. Besides, your wolf is awake now, and I may have a hard time dumping my own worries on you, but I know you're more than

this much, but there's still one problem. "But part of being a Luna means taking care of you too." I state sadly. "I can't do that if

constant contact, Ella." Sinclair promises. "I'll call you every night and every morning, and we

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