Chapter 18

Hearing the men discuss their careers today, I realized with sudden clarity–I deserved that same confidence, that equal seat at the table.

Jared called again as soon as I got home. I answered while sinking into the couch.

“Why weren’t you answering your phone?” Jared’s suspicion bled through the line.

“Must’ve been on silent. What’s up?” The lie came automatically now.

“Who were you out with? Yvonne said you went out again.” He might as well have been taking attendance.

“Just some college friends,” I said lightly. “They’re all doing well here. Thought I’d reconnect before starting work.”

He seemed to turn my answer over in his head before responding. “You’ve changed lately. What’s going on?”

“Changed how?” I toyed with my hair, suddenly recalling my younger self–the one who wanted to burn bright, not fade into someone’s background.

“You’re dressing differently these days,” Jared said, proving he noticed every detail about me.

look good?” I asked with

fine. Just not… dignified enough.” He was never

a laugh. “Those wedding vows about

his end was satisfying. “I never said

I’m tired.” I had zero patience for

went quiet for a beat. “Fine. Goodbye,” he

always perfectly composed, the genteel husband who never raised his voice. But that same restraint

what they were given. Coldness turned them to

when I married Jared. The real smiles disappeared, replaced by careful words and actions tailored

I’ve made some gruel,” Wendy offered

breath. This was the day I’d stop playing a role and start

that night until

experiencing the same helpless terror and

with sweat.

to the bathroom mirror, pressing my palms against the sink until

me I

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