Chapter 18

Hearing the men discuss their careers today, I realized with sudden clarity–I deserved that same confidence, that equal seat at the table.

Jared called again as soon as I got home. I answered while sinking into the couch.

“Why weren’t you answering your phone?” Jared’s suspicion bled through the line.

“Must’ve been on silent. What’s up?” The lie came automatically now.

“Who were you out with? Yvonne said you went out again.” He might as well have been taking attendance.

“Just some college friends,” I said lightly. “They’re all doing well here. Thought I’d reconnect before starting work.”

He seemed to turn my answer over in his head before responding. “You’ve changed lately. What’s going on?”

“Changed how?” I toyed with my hair, suddenly recalling my younger self–the one who wanted to burn bright, not fade into someone’s background.

“You’re dressing differently these days,” Jared said, proving he noticed every detail about me.

good?” I

fine. Just not… dignified enough.” He was never one

barked a laugh. “Those wedding vows about loving

silence on his end was satisfying. “I never said

I’m tired.” I

“Fine. Goodbye,” he said tightly before

composed, the genteel husband who never raised his voice. But that same restraint made him

what they were given. Coldness turned them to ice. Passion

joy, always smiling, always bright. That changed when I married Jared. The real smiles disappeared, replaced by

I’ve made some gruel,” Wendy offered softly. “Would

This was the day I’d stop playing a role and start being

night until

the same helpless terror and

with sweat.

to the bathroom mirror, pressing my palms against the sink until

me I

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