Chapter 35
Perhaps it was because he first shared his family stories so openly that I found it easier to speak.
Hesitating, I said,
"My mom passed away, and my dad, like yours, cut ties with me."
That year, at my mom's funeral, a sea of people came, all dressed in black.
The master of ceremonies gave a long eulogy, but I couldn't fully understand it. My mind wandered midway.
I remember looking at my mom's photo, where she seemed to smile at me, and I smiled back.
The next second, I was slapped to the ground by my father.
He roared, "Your mom's dead! How can you still smile?"
Everyone turned to look at me as if I were some kind of monster.
In that moment, I was terrified.
Tears welled in my eyes, but I bit my lips and didn't dare make a sound.
In the first year after my mom's passing, my dad often sat in the living room at night, flipping through her letters and photos.
By the second year, he had packed her belongings into a few boxes and pushed them into a dusty corner.
By the third year, he had remarried.
The new stepmom dumped the boxes into the yard, saying she wanted to burn them all.
I desperately rummaged through the pile and saved the camera, holding it tightly to my chest.
I burned myself in the process.
From then on, the camera became the only thing left of my mom.
Later, my younger sister was born.
The love and attention of the whole family shifted to her.
I grew up as if invisible, turning eighteen without anyone noticing.
I went to college to study medicine.
enrollment, my dad handed me a thick stack
adult now. Don't
nodded and counted it-30,000
severed the
teachers and classmates praised me for being well-suited to be a
I could stay
I started working, this became my
I knew—I
day of the funeral, I
he still
the years, I've grown used to suppressing
if I ever laughed freely again or shed
would lose something
point, I let out a
heart for so long, had never been shared with
faint smile
was unusually
forgotten? You were only five years old
froze, a
laughing
no one ever let you
but it struck
my dad stopped speaking to me for a
was born, my needs were
my studies and find ways
a single moment when I
I understood
was better to
head,
adult now. It's impossible
I want to laugh, or cry when
a sudden jolt ran through my ribs, like a
a strange yelp and
Joseph poking my
he said, "Who
to dodge, but
as if there was a switch on my waist-I couldn't
hard I tried to keep my mouth
out like
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