Chapter 35
Perhaps it was because he first shared his family stories so openly that I found it easier to speak.
Hesitating, I said,
"My mom passed away, and my dad, like yours, cut ties with me."
That year, at my mom's funeral, a sea of people came, all dressed in black.
The master of ceremonies gave a long eulogy, but I couldn't fully understand it. My mind wandered midway.
I remember looking at my mom's photo, where she seemed to smile at me, and I smiled back.
The next second, I was slapped to the ground by my father.
He roared, "Your mom's dead! How can you still smile?"
Everyone turned to look at me as if I were some kind of monster.
In that moment, I was terrified.
Tears welled in my eyes, but I bit my lips and didn't dare make a sound.
In the first year after my mom's passing, my dad often sat in the living room at night, flipping through her letters and photos.
By the second year, he had packed her belongings into a few boxes and pushed them into a dusty corner.
By the third year, he had remarried.
The new stepmom dumped the boxes into the yard, saying she wanted to burn them all.
I desperately rummaged through the pile and saved the camera, holding it tightly to my chest.
I burned myself in the process.
From then on, the camera became the only thing left of my mom.
Later, my younger sister was born.
The love and attention of the whole family shifted to her.
I grew up as if invisible, turning eighteen without anyone noticing.
I went to college to study medicine.
my dad handed me a
an adult now.
nodded and counted
yuan severed the blood ties between
praised me for
stay calm
working, this
but only I knew—I was too scared to
I wondered if, on the day of the
still have abandoned
grown
I ever laughed freely again or shed
would lose something even more
let
memories, buried in my heart for so long, had never
faint smile at the corners of his lips
was
forgotten? You were only
a
"Crying and laughing are a
one ever let you
was soft, but it struck me
the funeral, my dad stopped speaking to me for
was born, my needs were always
I had to juggle my
wasn't a single moment when I had been cared for as
to rely on, so I
was better to bury them
head, I said
adult now. It's impossible to act like a child
when I want to laugh, or cry when
finished speaking, a sudden jolt ran through my ribs, like a
out a strange
was Joseph
smile, he said,
dodge, but
there was a switch
I tried to
out like
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