Chapter 35

Perhaps it was because he first shared his family stories so openly that I found it easier to speak.

Hesitating, I said,

"My mom passed away, and my dad, like yours, cut ties with me."

That year, at my mom's funeral, a sea of people came, all dressed in black.

The master of ceremonies gave a long eulogy, but I couldn't fully understand it. My mind wandered midway.

I remember looking at my mom's photo, where she seemed to smile at me, and I smiled back.

The next second, I was slapped to the ground by my father.

He roared, "Your mom's dead! How can you still smile?"

Everyone turned to look at me as if I were some kind of monster.

In that moment, I was terrified.

Tears welled in my eyes, but I bit my lips and didn't dare make a sound.

In the first year after my mom's passing, my dad often sat in the living room at night, flipping through her letters and photos.

By the second year, he had packed her belongings into a few boxes and pushed them into a dusty corner.

By the third year, he had remarried.

The new stepmom dumped the boxes into the yard, saying she wanted to burn them all.

I desperately rummaged through the pile and saved the camera, holding it tightly to my chest.

I burned myself in the process.

From then on, the camera became the only thing left of my mom.

Later, my younger sister was born.

The love and attention of the whole family shifted to her.

I grew up as if invisible, turning eighteen without anyone noticing.

I went to college to study medicine.

handed me a thick stack of money and

adult now.

and

severed the blood ties

my teachers and classmates praised me for being well-suited to be a

I could stay calm no

this became my professional

I knew—I was

day of the funeral, I

he still have abandoned

years, I've grown used to suppressing my

I ever laughed freely again or

would lose something even more

point, I let out

in my heart for so long, had never been

faint smile at the corners of

tone was unusually

only

a little

"Crying and laughing are a child's

been suppressing yourself because no one ever let you be

it struck

stopped speaking to me

my sister was born,

I had to juggle my studies and find ways to support

realized there wasn't a single moment

no one to rely on, so I understood that my tears and laughter

better to bury them deep

my head,

an adult now. It's impossible to act like

to laugh, or cry

finished speaking, a sudden jolt ran through my ribs, like a mild

out a strange yelp and turned to

was Joseph poking

smile, he said, "Who says

dodge, but he

if there was a switch on my waist-I couldn't stop laughing, no

hard I tried to keep my

like a deflating

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