Chapter 0179

Sleep doesn't come easily, even after taking a long-needed shower. I thought that washing off the tension in my weary bones would be enough, but it wasn't. I then decided to relax in the bathtub and not think about anything. I failed miserably. Two hours after a shower and a warm soak in the tub, I am still tossing and turning on the bed. Aspen is sound asleep; no care in the world. For a moment, I am jealous of my own daughter. She looks so at peace that I can't help but crave the same thing. It's been a long and tiring day, yet I can't sleep. My mind keeps racing, thinking of all the different scenarios, every possible outcome, every solution and every angle. I'm not just thinking about Alec's pack, I'm thinking about my own; I'm thinking about Kaden; I'm thinking about Nyx; about the woman that paid Calvin to drug me; about my birth parents; about my origins; and about Aspen's question.

I can't switch my brain off, no matter how hard I try. Like I said before, I am an overthinker, so it's hard to stop myself from thinking and overanalyzing everything, especially when I am stressed and have too much on my plate.

Groaning in annoyance and tiredness, I get up from bed carefully, making sure that I don't disturb and wake up Aspen. Slowly and silently, I tread to the window. I push the curtains open and just stare at the sky.

It's a clear night. The stars are out, and so is the half moon. I stare at the moon, already feeling its pull. I have roughly about fourteen or fifteen days before the full moon. I let out a breath, knowing what that meant. I can already feel its effect.

that doesn't mean it doesn't have its effect on us. During the full moon, our senses are heightened, and our animal side is stronger. It's during the full moon that packs usually go

what I am worried about, though. During the full moon, she-wolves that have found their mates usually go into heat. We are part animals, and because of that, three days a month, we go into heat.

are also most fertile during our

is that there is something that pulls them to us. Attracts them on a sexual level. Just like with animals, only sex can ease the fire that lights up during heat.

is that, even

Another man can't satisfy that sexual volcano that is ready to erupt if you don't put a lid on it. I've heard women say that our bodies literally

Alec. I don't want to. So how am I supposed to resist him? How the hell am I supposed to fight something that's basically my nature? Movement catches my eye, and I momentarily forget my current concerns. Even

sleep," Nyx pops in, almost making me jump. I didn't think I'd

nod my head

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