Alpha Alec's Redemption by Kathy M

Chapter 0191

Alec

I'm still rooted to my spot as Sadie's words continue playing through my mind like a broken record.

I want to ask if I am that terrible. So terrible that she would wish I were dead. I can't, though, because I know that I was a monster to her. Worse than a monster, actually. "Alec," I hear Piper's soft, broken voice calling my name, but I don't turn towards her.

My eyes and focus are on Sadie's retreating back. Shoulder straight and head held up high, she doesn't give us another glance. It's like we are nothing but dust at her feet.

She disappears from my sight and I rub the area around my chest. I feel like I've just taken a huge blow to the chest. It aches and there is no way to alleviate the pain sitting there. "Alec" Piper calls me once again and this time I turn towards her.

Tears are still falling down her face and the pain she's feeling is clear in her eyes. She has one hand around her neck and the other around her waist. She has folded into herself, almost as if she were trying to ward off her pain and the impact of Sadie's words. I take a deep breath just as she says, "She hates me."

"You are not the only one she hates, Piper. She hates the entire pack and hates me more than she hates anyone else."

The words are like a burden. Weighing down on me. Compressing my lungs until I can barely breathe. I want the damn heaviness to go away. I want the pain to disappear. I just want to go back to times when I didn't feel so empty. So stripped of who I am.

Is this how she felt? Every time I cursed her in that fucking dungeon. Every time I told her, I hated her. Every time I wished she had died with her parents. Is this how she felt? Broken? Empty? Lost?

I had naively thought that nothing could compare to the pain I went through when Lola rejected me, but I was wrong. So fucking wrong.

Sadie rejecting me and showing her hate towards me makes me feel like my heart and soul have been put through a mincer. As if they have been shredded into nothing but ground meat. It feels like I have been stripped of everything that makes me and have been left with nothing.

wallow in my misery and lick my wounds. I know that I vowed to fight

ago made me realize that Sadie actually loved

was disgusted by it and by her. I remember thinking, Who the hell would ever want to be loved by someone as

crave the same love I had once mocked and hated. Now, I wish I could turn things around

are you going?" Piper

is direct and straight to the

I come? I think you are the only one

my sister, but right now I am fighting the urge to lash out at her. I clamp my jaw shut in an

she observed with Sadie; as for everything else, I am the one that twisted it into something dark. I'm the one that chose not to investigate things. I am the

way. It was easier to believe that she was the culprit. I wanted someone to blame and Sadie was the easiest target didn't want to face the role I played that night. Sadie didn't fuck herself. I did may not remember

I had done, so I chose the coward's way out and put all

it just funny?

the goddess paired us together. She felt

that I

I

she wasn't

she wasn't traditionally what a Luna should be. It is messed up how little I thought of her. It's messed up

standards I

my head in my hands. I try to swallow the panic that was slowly building inside me,

to have made

can do for my pack, but it's the complete opposite. She's my mate and the mother of my daughter. I want