Alpha Asher by Jane

Chapter 230

There was nothing in his eyes but agony. Not a hint of recognition or understanding, only pain so intense that it rendered me speechless.

Asher’s memories still lingered in my vision, imprinted on the back of my eyelids every time I blinked. Sean’s face covered in blood, the way grandma stared at Asher, seeing so clearly that it wasn’t him behind those golden eyes, hearing Asher’s screams-the way every bit of ferocity and strength left him when he realized what he’d done.

All of it was too much, too overwhelming, but my reason for staying strong was right here, inches away and crumbling to dust in my hands.

Tears streamed down Asher’s face, down his cheeks where they trickled off his jaw, tickling my wrists from where I cradled his head. I curled into his chest, holding his empty stare with every sob he held back.

His pain and guilt were a sandstorm that tore into me, scraping away at my skin, but no matter how badly I wanted to cry out and shield myself, I held back. I’d take the pain and weather it if it meant he’d survive.

“How am I supposed to live with what I’ve done? How do you ask forgiveness for something like that?” Asher asked in a raspy voice. 1

Before I could reply, there was a loud crash from downstairs. Some small, selfish part of me was the tiniest bit relieved because in

truth, I had no clue what to tell my mate. I could only tell him I didn’t blame him so many times. Even then, words did nothing to erase the kind of pain he was enduring.

It filled my body with an icy, numbing fear that grew exponentially worse when I heard thunderous footsteps, followed by my dad’s voice.

“Where is he?!” Dad bellowed. “Where is the man that killed my son?”

The blood drained from my face. “Let me talk to him. He’ll understand, Asher. I know he will.” I urged, hoping just this once he’d listen to me.

Asher shook his head and stood, swiping at his face angrily though his eyes were still glossy, and the evidence still shimmered on his cheeks. When he squared his broad shoulders, I caught a glimpse of his sheer strength and knew he hadn’t lost it the way he believed.

“No, I won’t hide from what I’ve done. It doesn’t matter if it wasn’t me. I’m the reason the blood witch can do the spell to enslave you. My body was the weapon that killed him-that killed the others.” He said quietly, exiting the bedroom and leaving me to scramble to catch up.

I clipped my shoulder on the corner as I

raced down the hall, nearly tumbling headfirst down the stairs to catch up to Asher. My muscles turned to lead the moment we stepped into the living room, rooting me in place under my dad’s intense stare.

He hadn’t changed since I last saw him at the hospital. If anything, he looked worse. His eyes were bloodshot, his face tense and marred with dark circles of exhaustion. Tristan and Giovanni surrounded him, speaking in low voices that he didn’t appear to be hearing. The others: Breyona, Holly, Mason, and Clara, stood off to the side. Flora hovered behind my father, and as our eyes met, I read the warning in them loud and clear.

He wasn’t okay, and there was no promise that he ever would be.

“Let him go.” Asher said to Giovanni and Tristan.

The two Vampire’s reluctantly stepped away but remained close by. Tristan looked my way, a question burning in his eyes. I nodded ever so slightly, assuming he was asking if I was on board with all of this.

I wasn’t, not exactly, but Asher needed this confrontation. My only hope was that it didn’t break him-that it didn’t break them both.

As Asher and my dad stared at one another, I realized both men looked irreparably broken. The light in their eyes was fractured, letting pain bleed through the cracks.

Neither one looked as strong as they once had. Not Asher, who was an Alpha known for his ferocity, and not my dad, who had fought on countless battlefields and ended hundreds of lives.

Two of the most important men in my life were nothing more than mere shadows of themselves.

Asher broke the silence first.

“I accept whatever punishment you see fit to give me.” He rasped, and I swore I wasn’t the only one in the room to stiffen. The silence was deafening, as were the stares I exchanged with Breyona and Mason. Asher didn’t so much as look our way when he said with dark conviction, “No one will stop you.”

tension in the room was suffocating, drawing the air from my

warning was

pain. Time slowed and my heart wailed in my chest, the gaping hole in it weeping with bloodstained tears. Asher didn’t move, didn’t so much as flinch as he stood there, waiting for the blow to come.

of us, not even myself, could have

in the

he did the opposite. Grabbing him by the shoulder, my dad pulled

was hugging him.

stunned, his body going stiff, harder than granite. It didn’t last long, though. How could it when both of them were irreparably broken in the same way? They were two sides of the same horrible. coin. Their guilt

donned split in two when my dad’s shoulders trembled in a poorly suppressed sob. Slowly, with a tentativeness I’d never seen

the hole in my chest torn open, as my mate and dad

not even from the two Vampire’s watching nearby. It took every crumb of strength in my wounded soul not to break down, but as I watched the men I loved reduced to

won this battle, life

would never be the same.

me realize what I needed to do. Perhaps the darkness whispering in my veins helped motivate me to make a decision, but it was Asher and my dad that ultimately made up my mind.

brewing, the one so heinous I didn’t dare speak the words aloud, was our only hope to fix the damage the blood witch had

there was one set of eyes that wasn’t

the pits of my soul; her appearance so eerily similar to my

turned away to give Asher and my dad but all I could think

what I’m going

My nerves were raw without him close

without everyone noticing. With tonight being the full moon and the most likely day for the blood witch

away from the crimson liquid sloshing in the blood bag. I looked up, instantly catching Holly’s eyes from where

guilt of what I planned to do, I slipped into the living room. My ass had just hit the couch when Cassidy’s voice popped

there, Lola?’ She asked over mind-link, her

am.’ I managed to reply, pulling from the blood bag

spread throughout my limbs, but not my hands-not where the darkness stained my skin. That part of me

heard what happened.’ Cassidy’s voice lowered to a broken whisper. ‘I’m so sorry, Lola. How…how is Asher doing?’ 1

back a sigh. ‘He’s as

sound good.’

not. None of this is good.’ I replied, swallowing the scrap of irritation

to rage at Cassidy? It wouldn’t take away this anger festering inside of me, anger reserved for one person alone. There was a crash through the mind- link, followed by a burst of obnoxious laughter and the heavy thump of music pulsing

voice. ‘Are you really at a party right now,

of defensiveness to it. ‘Look,

about what?’

gone to every college party within a two-hundred- mile radius, and believe me, it’s a lot of fucking parties. Do these college students. not have

I deadpanned, cutting her rant short.

when I’m on the verge of freaking the hell out.’ She sputtered. ‘Anyway, I’ve gone

at any of them. From what I can get out of these drunken idiots, no one’s

think there’s any possibility he went to that safe

to be there, but I suppose it’s always a possibility.’ I frowned,

there and check if you want. I’m wasting time searching these damn parties and as much as I could use a drink

me talk to Asher about it and I’ll get back to you, okay?’ I lied, tapping my guilt deep

at all suspicious. Yeah, that’s fine. Just

quickly, then sliced the link in two.

I didn’t care about

an obnoxious dickhead, he was still Asher’s brother. He mattered, he really did, but I had limited time