Chapter 5 – Pregnancy test
Ella
“No, I understand.” I murmur into the phone. “Thanks for listening at least.”
I wearily hang up the line, burying my head in my hands. I spent all morning calling in every favor and loan I possibly could, throwing my dignity right out the window to beg my friends and acquaintances in my time of need.
I’ve never thought of myself as a proud woman, but begging this way was more of a challenge than I could have imagined.
I only wish I could help Cora as well as myself. She’s still waiting to hear if she’ll be fired, and while she’s not supposed to be handling any samples, she got permission to do my tests this afternoon. After all, I’ve already been inseminated, so her supervisor didn’t see any risk of further negligence.
Still, I’m far from excited when I walk through the front doors of the sperm bank. Ten days ago I was heartsore but optimistic for the future, yearning for a baby more than anything else in the world. Now I’m dreading the exam.
However my trepidation soon gives way to surprise, because as soon as I enter the facility I have the strangest feeling that Dominic Sinclair is near. It takes me a while to actually find him, behind closed doors with Cora’s bosses in a luxurious, gla*s-walled conference room, but I don’t have the faintest idea how I knew he was present. I also don’t understand why I feel drawn to him: after all, he’s ruined both my sister’s and my own life. I shouldn’t be excited to see him.
It was dumb luck that I stumbled across his path, the conference room is on the way to Cora’s office, but I find myself stopping to observe the meeting inside. I’m struck speechless when I lay eyes on him. Is it possible that he’s gotten more attractive since the last time I saw him? It was already unfair that somebody that powerful and intelligent could be so handsome, but now it truly just feels like being kicked while I’m down. The bas ta rd has a heart of stone, and still the universe has rained endless gifts upon him while people like Cora and I have nothing.
Shaking myself out of my trance, I continue down the hall, though I feel the weight of dark eyes on my back as I retreat. Cora has clearly been crying when I arrive. Her eyes are red and her cheeks splotchy, though she tries to hide it.
“Hey.” I greet her gently, wrapping her up in a hug. She leans into me, squeezing tight and lingering far longer than she usually would. “Is there any news?”
it all now. I’m going to be given formal termination notice this afternoon.” She shares, sniffling
sorry, honey.” I croon, rubbing
She lies, pulling away. “How are you
well.” I confess. “I’m sort of dreading this, to
can change, huh?” She asks, looking as though she
I promise. “We’ve been in tight spots before.” I remind her, “remember the summer we
now, I don’t think we’ll last long in the elements. And you weren’t pregnant
pregnant now….” I can’t look her in the eyes as I say this,
we aren’t completely hopeless, you’ve got time to try to figure
Mike, and I realize I haven’t shared my latest news with Cora. “I can’t afford a baby even if I do find a job. I’m going to be paying off my debts for years to come.” I share, filling her in on the details of Mike and Kate’s
dues, I thought we were done with
be a doctor.”
She frowns. “You can terminate the pregnancy up until the end of the first trimester. It would be a tragedy if you aborted it, then pulled off
“Besides that seems kind of like it’s own form of torture – the longer I carry the baby the more attached I’m going to get. I don’t want this to hurt
going to hurt no matter what.” Cora reasons, “You ought to give yourself a chance – keep the door open.
subject. “I may not even be
agrees, pulling a sterile cup wrapped in plastic from
a urine sample, returning it to her almost immediately. I pace back and forth across the office as Cora runs the tests. “Well?” I press, seeing the results
a sad smile. “Congratulations little sister, you’re going to have a
myself that I wouldn’t fall to pieces no matter the results, but as soon as the words are out of her mouth I’m crying. I’ve been waiting to hear those words for years and was beginning to think I never would. It’s both unimaginable joy, and unimaginable pain. I never knew my heart could hold such conflicting emotions at the same time, let alone in such extremes.
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