Alpha Dom and His Human Surrogate by Caroline Above Story

Chapter 121 – Ella’s Past

Trigger Warning: This chapter contains experiences of abuse and S**ual a*sault – nothing explicit, but please take care reading!

Sinclair

Ella’s small body is completely stiff in my arms, even though we’re in her favorite place. I’ve only bathed with her once before, but it didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out how much she loves a bubble bath. She takes at least four a week, and when she’s upset I’ve known her to have a bath even after showering. Until I spoke with Cora about Ella’s self-care practices, I didn’t understand the connection to her childhood experience of neglect, but now that I know I’m determined never to deprive her of the comfort – even if my water bills go through the roof and the city goes into a drought.

“Are you ready to talk this out, trouble?” I inquire, resting my hands on her round tummy and feeling a pulse of stress from the baby. A fresh spark of worry a*sails me, and I know that Rafe is channeling his mother’s fraught emotions. Ella doesn’t respond to my question, and I press on, realizing that the poor little wolf isn’t going to relax until she knows I’m not going to reject her. “Sweetheart, it never even crossed my mind to end things. I love you.”

Ella’s muscles tighten further, though I didn’t think such a thing was possible. “But…” She stammers, twisting around to look at me, “but you left!”

my knuckles over her cheek. “But it wasn’t because I ever had doubts about us.” I share, wondering about my sweet mate’s reaction. I know some survivors of child abuse view any confrontation as a disaster or threat, but Ella has weathered my anger in the past without any signs of a trauma response. “I was angry that you thought you don’t contribute anything to our relationship, and my wolf lost it when you suggested you couldn’t be my Luna. The idea of losing you pushed me over the edge, and

“I wasn’t even sure you’d come back… I think… I think maybe I have some abandonment issues I wasn’t completely aware of. And

shouldn’t have left you when you were already upset, I just don’t trust myself not to say things I don’t mean when I’m that angry. The same way I would never make a pack ruling or deliver a punishment in the height of a fury. I think taking some space in the heat of the moment can be healthy, but maybe we can find some way to take breaks in fights without too much physical

arms tighten around me. “Thank you,” She hiccups, “and I’m sorry I said I couldn’t be your Luna, but you have to admit that I’m not pulling my weight here. This isn’t the first time I’ve tried to be

order, sliding my finger under her chin and pulling her eyes up to mine. “First of all – you take care of me all the time. You saved my campaign. You keep me calm when I’m being an ogre. You stand up to bullies like the Prince and Lydia, and you share my burdens even when I don’t want you to. Moreover, I need to dominate my mate. It’s in an Alpha’s DNA to nurture and protect. If you didn’t let me comfort and take care of you, I would be

I didn’t let

overpowered her countless times without any issue. In fact most of the time her wolf responds to my bossiness like a bee to honey. “I think we both know

look anywhere but at me. Slight pressure nudges my fingers as Ella gives a slight nod, and then her wide

to relive her painful memories, but I know that wouldn’t help anything. “We’re in a

in those brilliant gold orbs, and I hate knowing that I’m causing my mate to cry for the upteenth time today. “Do we have to talk about

resolve gravely. “It’s never going to hurt any less, and the sooner you tell me, the sooner it will be

again, and I let her rest her cheek on my chest as she begins to speak. “The orphanage had these dormitories that were divided by age. So the youngest children would share a room, and the older we got, we would move up accordingly. Cora is a year older than me, but when she turned eleven and was going to be moved into a dorm with the older girls we both panicked a bit. We’d always been together and didn’t want to be separated, and she also used to crawl into my bed at night when she

they agreed, but the dormitory matron seemed really pleased to have me.” Ella pauses, taking a deep breath. “She was always telling me how pretty I was… and that she’d had her eye on me for some time. I didn’t understand what she meant, but she always gave me a really uneasy feeling. In hindsight I think that might have been part of why I was so determined to stay with Cora… I think my instincts were warning me that the