Chapter 139- Ella’s Wolf

Ella

Everything is different the moment I open my eyes.

I don’t really want to wake up, to face a world without my baby in it, but my grief is momentarily dimmed by my wolf’s elation to finally be free. The temptation to bury my sorrows deep down and let myself be distracted is incredibly alluring, and I throw myself into denial with full force.

I feel as though I’ve been asleep for days, and maybe I have, but I feel stronger and sharper than I have in my entire life. The lights are searing bright, and the city is still too loud, but it’s not excruciating like it was before. My body must have acclimated while I rested, becoming used to sensing the world around me in ultra-high definition. My limbs are delightfully sore, and I revel in the feeling of thick, downy fur covering my body. I flex my fingers and toes, experimenting with my sharp claws and running my tongue over my fangs.

Being a wolf is even better than it was in my dream, partly because I know it’s real this time, but also because the world around me seems completely new. It’s as if I’m doing everything for the very first time, and it’s impossible not to be excited and thrilled despite the dark cloud hanging over my head.

I’ve been so caught up in my own head that I didn’t even realize that I’m not alone until a familiar, rumbly purr sounds beside me, and then a large tongue swipes over my velvety muzzle. Good Morning Little Wolf. Sinclair’s voice sounds in my mind, and I practically jump out of my skin. He chuckles and nuzzles his nose against mine, How do you feel?

I look up at the giant black wolf uncertainly, feeling guilty for my joy when… when… I can’t even think it. If I acknowledge what I’ve lost, then I won’t be able to pretend anymore. If I acknowledge it, then it becomes real, and I’m not prepared to face my sorrow. A whimper slips out of my mouth, and understanding washes over Sinclair’s canine features. Listen baby, how many heartbeats do you hear?

His question is more complicated than it should be, because I feel like I can hear every heart beating in the mansion. Still, I focus my attention on this room, not yet realizing why he instructed me thus. The gentle pulse of my own heart reaches my furry ears a fraction of a second before the steady pounding of Sinclair’s… and there, softer and tinier than both, is a precious thump in my womb.

think in amazement, certain I must be dreaming. I twist my body so I can press my nose to my belly, and I can smell him! Like a blend of Sinclair and myself, with something else all his own. I’ve never smelled anything so wonderful in my entire life – even Sinclair, who smells good enough to eat. Tears form in my eyes, but I’m still not convinced this

my

hear them. I’m not sure how I knew how to communicate this way – it was simply second nature. I was so sure – how could he have

shrug, before searching my face with his glowing green eyes. Can you

no longer in pain. I suddenly understand the connection Sinclair described to me, not cohesive thoughts but bursts of emotion distinct from my own. Even though we’re feeling some of the same things, there’s something about his which are uniquely his. Now that I’m aware of it, it’s impossible to miss. No wonder I was able to distract myself so easily! I

okay! I chant blissfully, momentarily thrown off balance when Rafe sends signals of happiness up at me, responding to my enthusiasm. I can feel him. I tell Sinclair in awe, stopped in my tracks and

with his tail. I nip at his ears when he tries to nuzzle my neck, earning myself great slobbering kisses in reply.

my body wiggling with excitement.

me as I dance around on the bed. We can, once you’ve got some food in

my head back defiantly.

shaked his head and rises to his feet, giving me an imperious look as he towers over me. You haven’t have anything in at least 72 hours,

that long! The Prince fed me. I argue, thinking

Sinclair informs me gently, bumping my nose with his. It won’t kill you to wait, the forest will still be there in an hour. When I still don’t look

during my transformation, because my beautiful pillows and soft blankets are shredded to bits. I whine with sudden distress, at once beside myself to know my baby is alright, but I have no safe haven in which to grow him. Sinclair shifts back into human form, and I’m amazed by how different he looks through my wolf eyes. He’s always been annoyingly good looking, but somehow he seems even more handsome than ever. His bronze skin almost glows in the bright

else. In the end, the time pa*ses in the blink of an eye, as I fuss and fret over remaking the space perfectly. Sinclair has to literally drag me away in

that my wolf is awake, his power is starker, more visceral, and I feel it constantly. For some I supposed it might be frightening, but for me it’s nothing short of thrilling. It excites me and rea*sures me

think I’ve ever been happier than I am in this moment – even though the last few days have been a nightmare. I’m finally the person I was always meant to be, I have a mate who loves me, and a baby on the way. I feel so incredibly free, and when

go home, trouble. He commands

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