And Then There Were Four (Lilith Carrie)

Chapter 176: Longing for Clairty

Lucas.

I hated myself for how I was treating Cassie, but it was for the best. It was the only way I could keep her safe from the person I had become. From the person who had done nothing but cause her pain. I was supposed to have been her mate, and instead, I allowed myself to fall prey to a greater power. One able to manipulate my mind.

Watching her walk away from me hurt, and the moment she disappeared from my sight, I was left with Sansa's angry glare and look of disapproval. "You’re a fucking idiot, Lucas."

“Whatever," I scoffed, rolling my eyes, trying to rationalize what I was doing. "What did you expect me to fucking do? You know the fucking risks of me being around her."

"Risks, Lucas? Please tell me you're joking right now."

There was no point in talking to Sansa about this. She had been telling me for weeks to stop acting the way I was, and I doubted that Cassie knew of my and Sansa’s conversations. Not that there was much to tell. Usually, it was a bunch of scolding and my refusal to admit I was being stupid. As much as part of me yearned to be with her, I couldn't. I couldn't run the risk of me falling back on old ways and hurting her again.

Cassie was important to everyone here, and I cared too much about her to let her fall hurt because of me. I didn't care what anyone had to say about that... it was my choice, and I would do what I wanted to in regards to Cassie. "I’m done discussing this. Sansa."

"Well, I'm not,” she replied, grabbing my arm to stop me from turning away from her. "Cassie is going through this without anyone to really be by her side, and out of all the men she could be paired with, she wants you to be there. Even though I think she is stupid for wanting that because you don't deserve her when you're acting like this."

Sansa had said many things to me in the past, but she had never been this forward before. I was honestly shocked to hear her comment, and also to learn that no matter how mean I had been to Cassie and all the shit I had done to her, she still wanted me to be with her.

"Even if I wanted to... they won't let me participate'

Laughing, Sansa shook her head. "And why not? What could possibly stop you from doing so?"

No matter what I said, Sansa wasn't going to let this go, and with a groan of frustration, I threw my hands in the air and sneered at her. "Because I'm the reason she died to begin with. Not to mention, I'm not like the rest of them. My bloodline makes me defective."

Sansa stood there for a moment, surprisingly quiet as she stared at me, and then glanced towards the arena where multiple men stood glancing over at us, obviously having heard my outburst. The dirty looks of some and amused glares of others only further irritated me, but what did I expect after what I had fucking done?

things worse for myself by listening to that stupid

over my shoulder as I stormed off toward the exit. I was still staying in the same room I had been before, and

than anything to go back home to Earth and live my life out there away from Cassie, but the private conversation Odin had with me after the incident made it clear I was never going to be allowed to go

what I was asked to do, then I

as I stopped in my tracks, looking over my shoulder to see her running across the green,

do you want, Sansa? I'm done with the scolding bullshit you constantly throw

shoulders as she bent over, huffing and

cardio fucking sucks," she panted, causing me to snort with laughter as I watched

you don't work out, seeing as your brother is

She refuses to give up on you, so instead of acting like you are, why don’t you prove to her that you want to change... or better yet, prove to yourself

I tried to process what she was saying, yet before I could even get a word out, she turned and made her way back towards

tried for weeks to stay away from Cassie, and as much as I thought that was the best idea, I couldn't help

that happened did happen for a reason, like

were setting up a future I needed to be prepared

****

Cassie.

on the field. I had really hoped after all this time, he would have seen I was

let go of the negative anger currently coursing through me. I was pissed,

why he didn't want to just try and make

hard for him to imagine, and perhaps it was time I started accepting that. The roles were reversed for once, and I had to figure out how to do what I was expected to do. I didn’t have the luxury of messing around

my tracks, I turned to the large double doors and contemplated telling whoever it was

as the door opened, revealing Ansley, the anger

to why she didn't just walk

a chipper smile on her face, she closed the door behind her and made her way toward me hesitantly. 'I'm sorry to bother you, but I