And Then There Were Four (Lilith Carrie)

Chapter 176: Longing for Clairty

Lucas.

I hated myself for how I was treating Cassie, but it was for the best. It was the only way I could keep her safe from the person I had become. From the person who had done nothing but cause her pain. I was supposed to have been her mate, and instead, I allowed myself to fall prey to a greater power. One able to manipulate my mind.

Watching her walk away from me hurt, and the moment she disappeared from my sight, I was left with Sansa's angry glare and look of disapproval. "You’re a fucking idiot, Lucas."

“Whatever," I scoffed, rolling my eyes, trying to rationalize what I was doing. "What did you expect me to fucking do? You know the fucking risks of me being around her."

"Risks, Lucas? Please tell me you're joking right now."

There was no point in talking to Sansa about this. She had been telling me for weeks to stop acting the way I was, and I doubted that Cassie knew of my and Sansa’s conversations. Not that there was much to tell. Usually, it was a bunch of scolding and my refusal to admit I was being stupid. As much as part of me yearned to be with her, I couldn't. I couldn't run the risk of me falling back on old ways and hurting her again.

Cassie was important to everyone here, and I cared too much about her to let her fall hurt because of me. I didn't care what anyone had to say about that... it was my choice, and I would do what I wanted to in regards to Cassie. "I’m done discussing this. Sansa."

"Well, I'm not,” she replied, grabbing my arm to stop me from turning away from her. "Cassie is going through this without anyone to really be by her side, and out of all the men she could be paired with, she wants you to be there. Even though I think she is stupid for wanting that because you don't deserve her when you're acting like this."

Sansa had said many things to me in the past, but she had never been this forward before. I was honestly shocked to hear her comment, and also to learn that no matter how mean I had been to Cassie and all the shit I had done to her, she still wanted me to be with her.

"Even if I wanted to... they won't let me participate'

Laughing, Sansa shook her head. "And why not? What could possibly stop you from doing so?"

No matter what I said, Sansa wasn't going to let this go, and with a groan of frustration, I threw my hands in the air and sneered at her. "Because I'm the reason she died to begin with. Not to mention, I'm not like the rest of them. My bloodline makes me defective."

Sansa stood there for a moment, surprisingly quiet as she stared at me, and then glanced towards the arena where multiple men stood glancing over at us, obviously having heard my outburst. The dirty looks of some and amused glares of others only further irritated me, but what did I expect after what I had fucking done?

myself by listening to

stormed off toward the exit. I was still staying in the same room I had

wanted more than anything to go back home to Earth and live my life out there away from Cassie, but the private conversation Odin had with me after the incident made it clear I was never going to be

and as long as I stayed in line and did what I was

looking over my shoulder to see

with the scolding bullshit you constantly throw

she bent over, huffing and puffing, she held up a finger,

fucking sucks,"

don't work out, seeing as

to give up on you, so instead of acting like you are, why

before I could even get a word out, she turned and made her way back towards the school without so much as

for weeks to stay away from Cassie, and as much as I thought

happen for a reason, like

the steps taken were setting up a future I needed

****

Cassie.

hoped after all this time, he would have seen I was trying to be the bigger person. That I was trying to fix

through my hair, trying to let go of the negative anger currently coursing through me. I was pissed, but most of all, I was

he didn't want to just try and make things

for once, and I had to figure out how to do what I was expected to do. I didn’t have the luxury of messing

turned to the large double doors and contemplated telling whoever it was to get fucking lost because I

the door opened, revealing Ansley, the

asked curiously as to why she didn't just walk

smile on her face, she closed the door behind her and made her way