Chapter 101

Chapter 101

One shoe.

That's what I walked back with. Just one fucking shoe, and maybe I was also carrying bits and pieces of my heart as well.

And I wish I could say it was a metaphor, but no. Literally. One shoe on, the other hand gripping the other pair like I'm some deranged Cinderella with swollen eyes and mascara bleeding into her jawline.

Goddamnit, how pathetic do I look right now. Zoe would probably look at me and her face would scrunch up.

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My feet drag across the palace floor, the silence so thick it scratches at my eardrums. It's already past midnight, everyone is either asleep or hiding from their Alpha King's rage.

I don't even make it to my bed. I collapse face-first into the mattress of my sofa and scream. Into the pillow, of course, because I'm still pathetic enough to care about who hears me.'

"Ah!" I punch the pillow, my voice being muffled by the cotton.

I scream until I'm lightheaded. Until my throat is dry. Until I'm sick of my own damn voice.

Enoch's still out there. Somewhere. Probably throwing shit at walls. Maybe punching a tree or murdering some political advisor or-fuck if I care.

But I do.

I care so much it's disgusting. This is what had gotten me here. This stupid attention to everything.

My face is still wet when I flip over, staring blankly at the ceiling like it might have answers. The chandelier above mocks me, sparkling like a fucking dream I never should've had in the first place.

All this, it's a stupid dream and I might as well be back in the Woodridge Pack and even though I was an Omega, things were peaceful. Hell, I would have handled Kallias' rejection a whole lot better than whatever this is Enoch and I have right now.

"You just loved." I feel Eris shifting in my head. The lump in my throat grows heavy and before I knew it, my arm finds their way over my eyes as I wipe a new tear that fell astray.

"That's the problem," I whisper. "I loved."

Eris shifts inside my head and before I knew it, she falls silent. I'm scared. I'm scared of the love I have for him. I know it will ruin me, and I also kn

fully well I will let it.

A knock startles me off the mattress and up to my feet as a very rushing fist bangs

at my door. Geez, it's 1AM, have some decency. I immediately wipe any visible traces of tears In my face.

It's not even a hesitant one-no courtesy for the broken girl on the other side. Just a swift, sharp tap-tap and then the door cracks open.

"Miss Sinclair," a soft voice peeps in on the door. One of the maids, the one who always smiles too much. "The Queen Dowager would like to see you."

I blink. Once, twice. The room spins. It's past midnight? What in the world is an old woman staying up at this time for?

"Now?" I croak.

She nods.

Of course she does.

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09:44 Thu, 17 Apr (1.

Chapter 101

"I'll be there in a minute."

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closes the door, and I breathe through my nose, march to the mirror with shoulders that weigh like lead, and start fixing the wreckage of my face. I should tell her how her grandson is

smack

looks as tired as I feel. Red-rimmed eyes. Puffiness. A split lip I didn't even notice from when I bit

it'll erase the damn truth. "You've survived worse." I close my

Another inhale. Another exhale.

I'm going to have to think when I'll be leaving. I'm still not entirely sure what I'm supposed to do with the job the Dowager Queen entrusted me

my cardigan tighter around my body-hoping I wouldn't

Then I leave.

lavender and soap. Like old royalty and forgotten wars. The kind of place you whisper in without meaning

I knock once.

"Come in, dear."

Dowager's voice is sandpaper and silk. Her spine's curved now, her cane tapping the floor as she moves toward a carved vanity table, squinting at a cluster of glass

frustrated. "Your eyes are young-come. Help an old

I almost smile. Almost.

jar from her hand. "You sure it's

huffs, lowering herself onto the couch with all the grace of someone used to ruling nations. She's once a queen, alright. “I swear these jars multiply just to mock me." I smile at her, although I'm pretty sure it doesn't

you go back to bed, I'll look for it." I suggest. She turns to me and nods as I lead her back to the sheets, taking her cane after she sat down. I settle

is comforting. Maybe this is just exactly

walk back to the table. I find the correct label, pick up the tiny capsule, and turn around again to grab the cup

about Enoch

My breath stutters.

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09:44 Thu, 17 Apr

Chapter 101

under my grip, water

voice too small. I hate how

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knowing. "You may be quiet, girl, but grief doesn't

in the spaces between

hands shake. This woman knows everything, I swear. I can't even hide what

gently. Her fingers are cool but firm, the skin worn

lie, chuckling for

not buying my shit. "You're not. Sit down before you fall

once, I don't

of the bed. She doesn't look at meas

and pats the seat

couple of times tonight.

she urges. Fuck it, this

before I can stop myself. I recall everything that's happened in the past two hours,

"I think I'm done."

hums. "No,

hoped. I've bent myself backwards for him. I gave

give."

windows. I always thought it's a bit rude for that. But, right now, all I could think about is how much comfort not having those

him take down my walls, and then... he lit my soul on fire." I murmur, fiddling with my fingers and she finally turns

she says, eyes sharper than they should be for

laugh bitterly. "You don't

turns. Really looks at me. "I know enough.

barged into my room the first time all those weeks ago. When

lost. You

immediately looking up at her.

"I can tell

an eye."

cold. She...

I first came in,

me off,

if reading mt thoughts, "Your

in the war with my son,

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