Chapter 44

AARON

I sink into one of the chairs and try to process everything.

Leah. Missing.

Leah. Dying.

It just doesn’t make sense.

She’s young. A force of life so bright at times I found it hard to be around her. I can’t imagine her not in this world. I can’t imagine that she’s si ck or hurting.

Or that she’s been suffering for a long time and I never noticed.

My chest aches and I rub at the center of it.

“I still have to make rounds,” Adam says. “And there is a chance that if Leah left, that maybe she doesn’t want to be found. She might be si ck of all of us.”

I nod.

it, but it may

should’ve done so many things differently.

loved her.

nights wasted. All the days when I purposely kept her at arm’s length. All the times she tried to make our

the kitchen

in the library, reading one of her books,

not back down, no matter how many times I tried to relegate her to some background role.

now she’s

Dying???

I can’t lose her. I can’t let

physical so much as a wave of grief that

her. That light

reenters the hospital

can imagine what he

bu nch of smooshed flowers

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