Chapter 44

AARON

I sink into one of the chairs and try to process everything.

Leah. Missing.

Leah. Dying.

It just doesn’t make sense.

She’s young. A force of life so bright at times I found it hard to be around her. I can’t imagine her not in this world. I can’t imagine that she’s si ck or hurting.

Or that she’s been suffering for a long time and I never noticed.

My chest aches and I rub at the center of it.

“I still have to make rounds,” Adam says. “And there is a chance that if Leah left, that maybe she doesn’t want to be found. She might be si ck of all of us.”

I nod.

don’t like it, but it may be

should’ve done so many things

loved her.

I purposely kept her at arm’s length. All the times she tried to make our marriage a

kitchen and

in the library, reading one of her books, so I wouldn’t work late alone.

not back down, no matter how many times I tried to relegate her to some

she’s

Dying???

can’t lose her. I can’t let

so much

go to her bed and pick up the pillow. Beneath the astringent smells of the hospital, I can scent her. That light fragrant smell of her hair that’s partly her shampoo and, beneath that, the unique, elusive scent

reenters the

what

of smooshed flowers and breathing into

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