Chapter 44
AARON
I sink into one of the chairs and try to process everything.
Leah. Missing.
Leah. Dying.
It just doesn’t make sense.
She’s young. A force of life so bright at times I found it hard to be around her. I can’t imagine her not in this world. I can’t imagine that she’s si ck or hurting.
Or that she’s been suffering for a long time and I never noticed.
My chest aches and I rub at the center of it.
“I still have to make rounds,” Adam says. “And there is a chance that if Leah left, that maybe she doesn’t want to be found. She might be si ck of all of us.”
I nod.
but it may be
should’ve done so many
should’ve loved her.
All the days when I purposely kept her at arm’s length. All the times she tried to make our marriage a real one. Not just in bed, but by being a real
the kitchen and make
up for me in the library, reading one of her books, so I wouldn’t work late
no matter how many times I tried to relegate her to some background
she’s
Dying???
her. I can’t let
seizes my body. It’s not physical so much
up the pillow. Beneath the astringent smells of the hospital, I can scent her. That light fragrant smell of her
the
what
holding a bu nch of smooshed flowers and breathing into a hospital pillow.
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