Chapter 86
Somedays… I question getting out of bed.
I’d add today to that list because… dying.
And I really don’t want to d ie. But how cr uel is this world
that the one thing I wanted… The one thing I hoped could be
granted to me finally is.
Only when I’m too si ck to see the dream become a reality.
I think of the little boy or girl who I’ll probably never get to hold. The eyes like mine or dark like Aaron’s. If they’d have his strength and my compassion. If they’d like chocolate or vanilla
ice cream.
I close my eyes and imagine their laughter. Their first steps.
Seeing them grow up and marry and start their own families.
The hugs and cuddles I’ll never feel. The baby I’ll never get to feed or rock to sleep.
Every beautiful milestone of a child’s life. Walking, talking, learning to read, to ride a bike. Teaching my child to swim and
climb trees.
arms when
them I love them each
thoughts come to me
grab my phone. I
to call
part of me wants him to have the truth. To share
think he’d be
shouldn’t assume.
know that my pack would be pleased. It cements Aaron’s claim to this pack through my
stomach.
much love swirls in my heart I
texts me: We need to abort. You
can try again for a baby, Leah.
values my life over my child’s.
it’s probably the right
it doesn’t
baby deserves a chance.
phone to another name.
from my mind, no matter
I hit send.
is answered on the second ring. “Hey
That voice.
bass that
extremities.
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