SHARON

I wanted to believe that the doctor speaking was a man on a TV screen, an actor. Maybe he works part time as a doctor, maybe his real passion lies in acting; maybe he's practicing his lines for an audition. But they were just maybes, wishful thinking.

His face was set in a straight line and it was evident that he wasn't joking at all. He was telling me the real truth; one I didn't think I would ever be able to swallow.

"So you should take care of yourself and watch out for all of these. Hopefully, you'd conceive again and there'd be no miscarriage."

The tears that had been rolling down my cheeks had doubled. I was aware that I was sobbing loudly as he spoke.

This can't be happening, I thought for the umpteenth time. How can this happen?

"It's okay ma'am. It's-"

"Don't tell me it's okay," I whispered, my voice trembling.

It wasn't okay!

"This can't be happening," I whispered as I dropped my face in my cupped palms.

That pregnancy was everything. It was the key, the solution, the thing that would finally make my marital life better. It was the only thing that would have kept Aiden by my side. Now, it's gone and Aiden might be gone too.

No. I will not lose him. Never.

I sniffed and finally wiped my face.

"I didn't have a miscarriage."

The doctor's brows pulled together. "What?"

"No one must know about this. In fact, it never happened. Please, keep this between us."

The doctor hesitated. "Ma'am, I cannot-"

roughly pushed the chair back and dropped to my

eyes widened. He stood up and rushed to my side. "Please,

don't mention it to anyone. Not even your colleagues

me for a long while. He must have seen the desperation in my eyes because he sighed and nodde stiffly. "It's

Thank you so much," I said

that he really wouldn't tell, I fully expressed my gratitude to him. Then I

check if my dress was still unstained. When I entered the hospital, I had first cleaned myself up even though I could barely do anything with

my

stopped by a store and got a bleach. I washed off every stain of blood from my car's seat. Then I

the words of the part of me that suggested that I tell

tilted to the bigger part that warned

hold

out yet. Not

he does, I was certain that he'd go

have to keep playing the pregnancy

Until when?

conceive again. If I could get pregnant then

keep this to myself until

I voiced

that tiny voice that

that I was doing the

it was what would save my

car in the driveway, my heart painfully

he home now? I wondered. Did the doctor

car, he was out the door, worry lines on

halfway and pulled me

work more from home," he looked at me, his

took a lot for me not to

I cleared my throat just had some clients to attend

The meeting was dume

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