Chapter 8

“I need more pain meds, they must have worn off while I slept, and now everything hurts.” I could not get comfortable no matter what I tried to do. I let out a small whimper as Jake moved off the bed. Josh cupped my face in his hand, turning my head until I was looking him

in the eyes.

“Jake’s going to get your meds and something for you to drink, I promise you will feel better soon baby girl” He leaned down, kissing the tip of my nose, making me blush.” Baby there is no reason to be embarrassed, Nothing we are doing is wrong”

“But…but you’re my stepbrother, we shouldn’t be laying in bed together, and you shouldn’t be kissing me. What would happen if my mom or your dad saw us? They would throw me out and I would have nowhere to go.” My voice was shaking, picturing myself beaten, broken, and alone, not being able to see the two people who had shown more kindness, and caring, in the day that I have known them, than either of my parents had in the last eighteen years of my life.

“Take a breath baby girl, I don’t want you passing out,” Josh instructed. I ignored him, trying to fight back my anxiety, but quickly losing the battle to the dark voice in my head. It had started as a whisper, but continued to get louder, the harder I tried to fight it back.

“You will always be broken, and alone, battered, broken, and alone. No one will love you, you too much work, you’re a shattered mirror, no one will ever want to pick up your pieces, they will just throw you away.” The dark voice was almost screaming in my head now, repeating the same things over and over again. I sat eyes screwed shut, as the voice continued to scream. I grabbed my thigh with my good hand, pinching and scratching myself as hard as I could, anything to get the voice to stop. Suddenly a pair of strong hands were gripping my hand and thigh, another set of hands cupping my face. Two voices were repeating my name over and over. My surroundings snapped back into focus, and I saw Josh, his face inches from me. His voice was becoming more firm and dominant by the second.

Emmy…Em, little girl look at me.” The firmness of his voice, caused me to focus on him, even while I still gasped for breath, “There you are baby girl, what a good girl to follow directions, I know you don’t think you can breathe but I promise you can.” He took my good hand placing it on his chest. Ok baby, feel me breathing, and breathe with me.” I followed his directions, my hand cold against his warm chest. “That’s it, baby, keep going.” As Josh encouraged me to breathe, I felt Jake slip behind me, his hand brushing damp hair off my face, kissing the side of my head, whispering into my ear that they would leave me, that they care about me, and will do everything they can to help me heal, body and soul.

After taking another deep breath I closed my eyes and began to apologize. “I’m sorry, so..so sorry. I don’t know what came over me.” I was babbling so quickly that it took Josh cupping my face again to get me to stop.

Baby girl there is nothing to be sorry for, you had a panic attack, it can happen to anyone. I will not let you apologize for something you have no control over.” Josh’s firm voice was back, and it sent a shiver down my spine straight to my core. I nodded my head showing I

understood.

“We promise we will always be here for you sweetheart.” Jake said from behind me, pressing another kiss to the side of my head.” We are going to help you heal, both physically and m**ly, if you fall we will help you up.” Josh was nodding along with everything

said.

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I asked, leaning back into Jake as Josh continued to hold my gaze.” If

07:40

of all we don’t give

care less about what we do as long as we show up in

media.

6

ever see each other is occasionally at dinner, or when there is some type

giving me a gentle hug from behind. I leaned

me take a few swallows. Good girl,

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us wed, Sep

Chapter 8

my mouth, allowing me to swallow

are going to eat, relax, and watch some TV. Then you’re going to take your nighttime meds, and get a good night’s Test.” Josh, told me exactly what I

said, saluting him, with my best military salute. The heat that blazed through his eyes when I said that, made me squeal and bury my face in my

girl, you know I can still see you right,” Josh said, poking a finger at my

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