Bye-Bye Jerk, Hello Mr. Right by Rosie Steppe

Chapter 171

I froze.

I hadn't thought about that.

Probably not. I mean, I haven't kissed many people. Even with Jace, who I crushed on for ages, I only ever stole kisses when he was sick, half-asleep, or passed out drunk. And even then, it was just on his cheek or the back of his hand. But earlier with Hayden... our lips actually touched. That wasn't something Jace and I did much.

Jace used to kiss me on the cheek or forehead all the time, but a real kiss? Lips meeting, like really kissing? There was only one time.

I remember him saying, "Rea, we're too close. I just can't do it."

The truth-was, he just didn't love me enough. Someone once told me that when two people kiss, and it's real-like lips and tongues tangling-it's all dopamine. It's supposed to be uncontrollable.

If you can control it, well, that means you're just not that into them.

"I don't like hypotheticals," I finally said to Hayden.

His jaw tightened, and I watched his Adam's apple move as he swallowed. "But I want to know."

The intensity in his eyes was so strong, I could barely breathe under the weight of it.

I let out a sarcastic laugh. "Why's it such a big deal? First time a girl's kissed you?"

"Yes."

word hit me like a slap, and my smile totally

a complete jerk: "Well, I'll make it up to you." "How?"

was supposed to be the one in control, but suddenly it felt like

exactly what kind of

I wanted to shut this down, stop whatever hopes he

agreed this was all fake. Even the kissing. If you're gonna start catching feelings, I'll have to find

every

smile. "It's not what I want, but if you can't handle it, then what choice do I have?" Hayden didn't say a word. I

I pushed on, twisting the knife a little more. "I get it you're all... pure. And yeah, asking you to fake this -holding hands, kissing-you're right, I've been

+25 BONUS

a shove and pushed open

rolled down the window, giving him one last

Nothing.

Instead, I

the rearview mirror. Hayden was still there, standing alone in the dark. He looked... abandoned, like

second, guilt hit

back to his place across from mine, but I couldn't

calling Lena again-still