Bye-Bye Jerk, Hello Mr. Right by Rosie Steppe

Chapter 171

I froze.

I hadn't thought about that.

Probably not. I mean, I haven't kissed many people. Even with Jace, who I crushed on for ages, I only ever stole kisses when he was sick, half-asleep, or passed out drunk. And even then, it was just on his cheek or the back of his hand. But earlier with Hayden... our lips actually touched. That wasn't something Jace and I did much.

Jace used to kiss me on the cheek or forehead all the time, but a real kiss? Lips meeting, like really kissing? There was only one time.

I remember him saying, "Rea, we're too close. I just can't do it."

The truth-was, he just didn't love me enough. Someone once told me that when two people kiss, and it's real-like lips and tongues tangling-it's all dopamine. It's supposed to be uncontrollable.

If you can control it, well, that means you're just not that into them.

"I don't like hypotheticals," I finally said to Hayden.

His jaw tightened, and I watched his Adam's apple move as he swallowed. "But I want to know."

The intensity in his eyes was so strong, I could barely breathe under the weight of it.

I let out a sarcastic laugh. "Why's it such a big deal? First time a girl's kissed you?"

"Yes."

one word hit me like a slap, and my smile totally

second later, I heard myself say something awful, like a complete jerk: "Well, I'll

the one in control, but suddenly it

of

my lips together, made a decision. If I wanted to shut this down, stop whatever hopes he had, there

was all fake. Even the kissing. If you're

switch boyfriends every day?" His voice was

not what I want, but if you can't handle it, then what choice do I have?" Hayden didn't say a word. I could feel this chill rolling

to fake

+25 BONUS

and

rolled down the window,

Nothing.

to say more, but bit it back. Instead, I rolled up the window

rearview mirror. Hayden was still there, standing alone in the dark. He

a second, guilt hit

place across from

calling Lena again-still