Bye-Bye Jerk, Hello Mr. Right by Rosie Steppe

Chapter 171

I froze.

I hadn't thought about that.

Probably not. I mean, I haven't kissed many people. Even with Jace, who I crushed on for ages, I only ever stole kisses when he was sick, half-asleep, or passed out drunk. And even then, it was just on his cheek or the back of his hand. But earlier with Hayden... our lips actually touched. That wasn't something Jace and I did much.

Jace used to kiss me on the cheek or forehead all the time, but a real kiss? Lips meeting, like really kissing? There was only one time.

I remember him saying, "Rea, we're too close. I just can't do it."

The truth-was, he just didn't love me enough. Someone once told me that when two people kiss, and it's real-like lips and tongues tangling-it's all dopamine. It's supposed to be uncontrollable.

If you can control it, well, that means you're just not that into them.

"I don't like hypotheticals," I finally said to Hayden.

His jaw tightened, and I watched his Adam's apple move as he swallowed. "But I want to know."

The intensity in his eyes was so strong, I could barely breathe under the weight of it.

I let out a sarcastic laugh. "Why's it such a big deal? First time a girl's kissed you?"

"Yes."

like a slap,

second later, I heard myself say something awful, like a complete jerk:

was supposed to be the one in control, but suddenly it felt like I

knew exactly what kind of "make it up"

wanted to shut this down, stop whatever hopes he

the kissing. If you're gonna start catching feelings,

boyfriends every

"It's not what I want, but if you can't handle it, then what choice do I have?" Hayden didn't say a word. I could feel

little more. "I get it you're all... pure. And yeah, asking you to fake this -holding hands, kissing-you're right, I've been using you. So let's

+25 BONUS

him a shove and

window,

Nothing.

back. Instead, I rolled up the window and slammed

rearview mirror. Hayden was still there, standing alone in the dark. He looked... abandoned, like the

a second, guilt hit me

back to his place across from mine, but

tried calling Lena