Chasing His Kickass Luna Back by Jane Above Story

#Chapter 45: Bad Taste
Abby

“Adam… Are you cheating on me?”

The anticipation of what Adam is about to say feels like a giant pit in my stomach. He stares down at

his hands, his fingers worrying each other in the dim light of the bar.

“Abby,” his voice starts with a tremor, “I’m not cheating on you. I would never do something like that.

Not to anyone, and especially not to you.”

The sound of the soft jazz music I’ve got playing on the speakers almost seems to die down, replaced

by a poignant silence. I’m a little relieved, but not completely. In an odd way, I think that I almost wish

he was cheating on me. It would make things easier. But now, I think that it must only be an even more

complicated explanation, and whatever it is, I’m not sure if I’m ready for it.

“What is it, then?” I ask. Every fiber of my being is attuned to him, waiting.

Adam hesitates for a moment, raking a hand through his hair, a gesture I’ve come to associate with his

nervousness.

“I’m not into women.”

His words crash over me like a tidal wave. I struggle to keep my composure, trying to grasp what he’s

just admitted. My mind goes blank, and then rushes in with a barrage of thoughts.

Confusion, hurt, and disbelief lead the charge.

“You’re… g ay, Adam? And you knew all this time?”

Adam nods slowly. I feel like I’m drowning. “You knew all this time, and yet you still put a ring on my

finger,” I murmur, shaking my head in disbelief. This has got to be some kind of sick dream. “Why did

you get together with me so quickly, then?”

After a moment of tense pause, Adam speaks. “I got together with you so quickly because…” He sighs,

his voice barely above a whisper. “…It made my family happy. It was a way to keep my secret buried

deep.”

throat. Tears well up, threatening to spill. “But why me, Adam?” I croak

me, of all the

shaky breath, his gaze filled with remorse. “It wasn’t planned, Abby. When we

Being with you,

felt genuine. But as things progressed, it became

lie I

feel sick. “That’s not fair,” I mutter, blinking away the tears that threaten to

“I know it’s not fair,” he murmurs. “And I

relationship, I just kept telling myself that

wasn’t sexually attracted to you, you made me

over the other stuff

me happy.”

and it’s just the two of

much as I want to rage at him, I find myself filled with a strange

chains society

expectations and norms.

“I’m so, so sorry, Abby. I’ve

care about you, deeply. But not in the way you should be cared for. Not in

romantic way you deserve.”

my eyes, trying to stem the tears.

it go on for so long without so much as a

eyes are glistening, mirroring my own emotions. “Fear,” he chokes out. “I

the one person who made

gravity of it all weighs on me. “So, all this time, every touch, every moment, was it

his head, quickly, “No, not a lie. Distorted, yes. But I’ve cherished our

offer you the kind of love you

can’t help but feel a pang of sympathy. Here is a man, torn and twisted by societal expectations,

his place. But at my expense? The juxtaposition is

stretches between us. The distant sounds of people passing by on the street

far away. I feel

engagement ring

mine. With tears blurring my vision, I carefully slide the ring

the gesture not lost

displaying the once treasured ring to

same pain I feel.

voice c racks, and I can tell he’s struggling

the ring towards him, my tears now streaming down my face. “It

belong to me anymore.”