Chasing His Kickass Luna Back by Jane Above Story

#Chapter 45: Bad Taste
Abby

“Adam… Are you cheating on me?”

The anticipation of what Adam is about to say feels like a giant pit in my stomach. He stares down at

his hands, his fingers worrying each other in the dim light of the bar.

“Abby,” his voice starts with a tremor, “I’m not cheating on you. I would never do something like that.

Not to anyone, and especially not to you.”

The sound of the soft jazz music I’ve got playing on the speakers almost seems to die down, replaced

by a poignant silence. I’m a little relieved, but not completely. In an odd way, I think that I almost wish

he was cheating on me. It would make things easier. But now, I think that it must only be an even more

complicated explanation, and whatever it is, I’m not sure if I’m ready for it.

“What is it, then?” I ask. Every fiber of my being is attuned to him, waiting.

Adam hesitates for a moment, raking a hand through his hair, a gesture I’ve come to associate with his

nervousness.

“I’m not into women.”

His words crash over me like a tidal wave. I struggle to keep my composure, trying to grasp what he’s

just admitted. My mind goes blank, and then rushes in with a barrage of thoughts.

Confusion, hurt, and disbelief lead the charge.

“You’re… g ay, Adam? And you knew all this time?”

Adam nods slowly. I feel like I’m drowning. “You knew all this time, and yet you still put a ring on my

finger,” I murmur, shaking my head in disbelief. This has got to be some kind of sick dream. “Why did

you get together with me so quickly, then?”

After a moment of tense pause, Adam speaks. “I got together with you so quickly because…” He sighs,

his voice barely above a whisper. “…It made my family happy. It was a way to keep my secret buried

deep.”

lump forms in my throat. Tears well up, threatening to spill.

this to me, of all

breath, his gaze filled with remorse. “It wasn’t planned, Abby.

The pressure from my family was suffocating. Being with you, it gave me an

But as things progressed, it became

lie. A lie I trapped myself

mutter, blinking away the tears

“And I know

I guess throughout our relationship, I just kept telling myself that I could be happy

to you, you made me

over the other stuff and just spend my life with someone

me happy.”

two of

as much as I want to rage at him, I

of the chains society can wrap around someone,

expectations and norms.

tumbling out. “I’m so, so sorry, Abby. I’ve been untruthful, and

of this. I care about you, deeply. But not in the way you should

romantic way you deserve.”

heel of my hand into my eyes, trying to stem the tears. “Why

it go

glistening, mirroring my own emotions. “Fear,” he chokes

losing the one person who made

this

quickly, “No, not a lie. Distorted, yes. But I’ve

offer you the kind of love you

of sympathy. Here is a man, torn

place. But at my

silence stretches between us. The distant sounds of people passing by on the

ears, but it all sounds so far away. I

slide to the engagement ring on

truly mine. With tears blurring my vision, I carefully

of the gesture not lost on

treasured ring to Adam. He looks down,

same pain I feel.

His voice c racks, and I can

I whisper, pushing the ring towards him, my tears now streaming

belong to me anymore.”