Chasing His Kickass Luna Back by Jane Above Story

#Chapter 45: Bad Taste
Abby

“Adam… Are you cheating on me?”

The anticipation of what Adam is about to say feels like a giant pit in my stomach. He stares down at

his hands, his fingers worrying each other in the dim light of the bar.

“Abby,” his voice starts with a tremor, “I’m not cheating on you. I would never do something like that.

Not to anyone, and especially not to you.”

The sound of the soft jazz music I’ve got playing on the speakers almost seems to die down, replaced

by a poignant silence. I’m a little relieved, but not completely. In an odd way, I think that I almost wish

he was cheating on me. It would make things easier. But now, I think that it must only be an even more

complicated explanation, and whatever it is, I’m not sure if I’m ready for it.

“What is it, then?” I ask. Every fiber of my being is attuned to him, waiting.

Adam hesitates for a moment, raking a hand through his hair, a gesture I’ve come to associate with his

nervousness.

“I’m not into women.”

His words crash over me like a tidal wave. I struggle to keep my composure, trying to grasp what he’s

just admitted. My mind goes blank, and then rushes in with a barrage of thoughts.

Confusion, hurt, and disbelief lead the charge.

“You’re… g ay, Adam? And you knew all this time?”

Adam nods slowly. I feel like I’m drowning. “You knew all this time, and yet you still put a ring on my

finger,” I murmur, shaking my head in disbelief. This has got to be some kind of sick dream. “Why did

you get together with me so quickly, then?”

After a moment of tense pause, Adam speaks. “I got together with you so quickly because…” He sighs,

his voice barely above a whisper. “…It made my family happy. It was a way to keep my secret buried

deep.”

threatening to spill. “But why me, Adam?” I croak out.

you do this to me, of all the people

shaky breath, his gaze filled with remorse.

pressure from my family was suffocating. Being with you, it gave me an

felt genuine. But as things progressed, it became

lie I

sick. “That’s not fair,” I mutter, blinking away the tears that threaten to come. “You toyed with

“I know it’s not fair,” he murmurs. “And I know it’s s hitty

guess throughout our relationship, I just kept telling myself that I could be

you, you made me laugh and smile and you’re

thought that I could get over the other stuff and just spend my life with someone

me happy.”

and it’s just the two of us

I want to rage at

understanding of the chains society can wrap around someone, chaining them

expectations and norms.

speaking, words tumbling out. “I’m so, so sorry,

deeply. But not

romantic way you deserve.”

eyes, trying to stem the tears. “Why didn’t you tell me

“Why let it go on

own emotions. “Fear,” he chokes

losing the one person who made me

this time, every touch, every moment,

his head, quickly, “No, not a lie. Distorted, yes. But

offer you the kind of love

Here is a man, torn

place. But at my

between us. The distant

but it all sounds so far away. I feel like I’m trapped in

my fingers slide to the engagement ring on my finger. The cool metal feels

truly mine. With tears blurring my

the gesture not

my palm, displaying the once treasured ring to Adam.

same pain I feel.

I can

towards him,

belong to me anymore.”