Chasing His Kickass Luna Back by Jane Above Story

#Chapter 45: Bad Taste
Abby

“Adam… Are you cheating on me?”

The anticipation of what Adam is about to say feels like a giant pit in my stomach. He stares down at

his hands, his fingers worrying each other in the dim light of the bar.

“Abby,” his voice starts with a tremor, “I’m not cheating on you. I would never do something like that.

Not to anyone, and especially not to you.”

The sound of the soft jazz music I’ve got playing on the speakers almost seems to die down, replaced

by a poignant silence. I’m a little relieved, but not completely. In an odd way, I think that I almost wish

he was cheating on me. It would make things easier. But now, I think that it must only be an even more

complicated explanation, and whatever it is, I’m not sure if I’m ready for it.

“What is it, then?” I ask. Every fiber of my being is attuned to him, waiting.

Adam hesitates for a moment, raking a hand through his hair, a gesture I’ve come to associate with his

nervousness.

“I’m not into women.”

His words crash over me like a tidal wave. I struggle to keep my composure, trying to grasp what he’s

just admitted. My mind goes blank, and then rushes in with a barrage of thoughts.

Confusion, hurt, and disbelief lead the charge.

“You’re… g ay, Adam? And you knew all this time?”

Adam nods slowly. I feel like I’m drowning. “You knew all this time, and yet you still put a ring on my

finger,” I murmur, shaking my head in disbelief. This has got to be some kind of sick dream. “Why did

you get together with me so quickly, then?”

After a moment of tense pause, Adam speaks. “I got together with you so quickly because…” He sighs,

his voice barely above a whisper. “…It made my family happy. It was a way to keep my secret buried

deep.”

lump forms in my throat. Tears well up, threatening to

you do this to me, of

a shaky breath, his gaze filled with remorse. “It wasn’t

from my family was suffocating. Being with you,

But as things

lie. A lie I trapped myself

away

fair,” he murmurs. “And I know it’s s hitty of me. I realize

guess throughout our relationship, I just kept telling

I wasn’t sexually attracted to you, you made me

over the other stuff and just

me happy.”

two of us in

as I want to rage at him, I find

society can wrap around someone, chaining them

expectations and norms.

so, so sorry,

any of this. I care about you, deeply. But not in the way you should be cared for. Not in

romantic way you deserve.”

my eyes, trying to stem the tears. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

go

glistening, mirroring my own emotions. “Fear,”

the one person who made

all weighs on me. “So, all this time, every touch, every moment, was

a lie.

offer you the kind

can’t help but feel a pang of sympathy. Here is a man, torn and twisted by

But at

between us. The distant

away. I feel like I’m trapped in a

thinking, my fingers slide to the engagement ring

love that wasn’t truly mine. With tears blurring my vision, I

gesture not

once treasured ring

same pain I feel.

and I can tell he’s struggling with

ring towards him,

belong to me anymore.”