Chasing His Kickass Luna Back by Jane Above Story

#Chapter 45: Bad Taste
Abby

“Adam… Are you cheating on me?”

The anticipation of what Adam is about to say feels like a giant pit in my stomach. He stares down at

his hands, his fingers worrying each other in the dim light of the bar.

“Abby,” his voice starts with a tremor, “I’m not cheating on you. I would never do something like that.

Not to anyone, and especially not to you.”

The sound of the soft jazz music I’ve got playing on the speakers almost seems to die down, replaced

by a poignant silence. I’m a little relieved, but not completely. In an odd way, I think that I almost wish

he was cheating on me. It would make things easier. But now, I think that it must only be an even more

complicated explanation, and whatever it is, I’m not sure if I’m ready for it.

“What is it, then?” I ask. Every fiber of my being is attuned to him, waiting.

Adam hesitates for a moment, raking a hand through his hair, a gesture I’ve come to associate with his

nervousness.

“I’m not into women.”

His words crash over me like a tidal wave. I struggle to keep my composure, trying to grasp what he’s

just admitted. My mind goes blank, and then rushes in with a barrage of thoughts.

Confusion, hurt, and disbelief lead the charge.

“You’re… g ay, Adam? And you knew all this time?”

Adam nods slowly. I feel like I’m drowning. “You knew all this time, and yet you still put a ring on my

finger,” I murmur, shaking my head in disbelief. This has got to be some kind of sick dream. “Why did

you get together with me so quickly, then?”

After a moment of tense pause, Adam speaks. “I got together with you so quickly because…” He sighs,

his voice barely above a whisper. “…It made my family happy. It was a way to keep my secret buried

deep.”

up, threatening

do this to me, of all the

gaze filled with remorse. “It wasn’t planned,

was suffocating. Being with you, it gave me

But as things progressed, it

A lie I

feel sick. “That’s not fair,” I mutter, blinking away the tears

it’s not fair,” he murmurs. “And I know it’s s hitty of me. I realize

relationship, I just kept telling myself that I could be happy with you.

wasn’t sexually attracted to you, you made me

over the other stuff and just spend my life with someone who

me happy.”

around us fades, and it’s just the two of us in

to rage at him, I find myself filled with a strange understanding.

chains society can wrap around someone,

expectations and norms.

out. “I’m so, so sorry, Abby. I’ve

about you, deeply. But not in the

romantic way you deserve.”

heel of my hand into my eyes, trying to stem the tears. “Why didn’t you

evident in my voice. “Why let it go on for

eyes are glistening, mirroring my own emotions. “Fear,” he chokes out. “I was

one person who made me feel

all weighs on me. “So, all this time, every touch, every moment,

“No, not a lie. Distorted,

I couldn’t offer you the

sympathy. Here is a man, torn and twisted by societal expectations,

at my expense? The juxtaposition

The distant

ears, but it all sounds so far away. I feel like I’m trapped in a vacuum

fingers slide to the engagement ring on my

that wasn’t truly mine. With tears blurring my vision, I carefully

of the gesture not lost

once treasured ring to Adam. He

same pain I feel.

racks, and I

the ring towards him, my tears now streaming

belong to me anymore.”