Chasing His Kickass Luna Back by Jane Above Story

#Chapter 45: Bad Taste
Abby

“Adam… Are you cheating on me?”

The anticipation of what Adam is about to say feels like a giant pit in my stomach. He stares down at

his hands, his fingers worrying each other in the dim light of the bar.

“Abby,” his voice starts with a tremor, “I’m not cheating on you. I would never do something like that.

Not to anyone, and especially not to you.”

The sound of the soft jazz music I’ve got playing on the speakers almost seems to die down, replaced

by a poignant silence. I’m a little relieved, but not completely. In an odd way, I think that I almost wish

he was cheating on me. It would make things easier. But now, I think that it must only be an even more

complicated explanation, and whatever it is, I’m not sure if I’m ready for it.

“What is it, then?” I ask. Every fiber of my being is attuned to him, waiting.

Adam hesitates for a moment, raking a hand through his hair, a gesture I’ve come to associate with his

nervousness.

“I’m not into women.”

His words crash over me like a tidal wave. I struggle to keep my composure, trying to grasp what he’s

just admitted. My mind goes blank, and then rushes in with a barrage of thoughts.

Confusion, hurt, and disbelief lead the charge.

“You’re… g ay, Adam? And you knew all this time?”

Adam nods slowly. I feel like I’m drowning. “You knew all this time, and yet you still put a ring on my

finger,” I murmur, shaking my head in disbelief. This has got to be some kind of sick dream. “Why did

you get together with me so quickly, then?”

After a moment of tense pause, Adam speaks. “I got together with you so quickly because…” He sighs,

his voice barely above a whisper. “…It made my family happy. It was a way to keep my secret buried

deep.”

lump forms in my throat. Tears well up, threatening to spill. “But why me, Adam?” I croak out.

to me, of all the people

filled with remorse. “It wasn’t planned, Abby. When

Being

our moments… they all felt genuine. But as things progressed,

A lie I

away the tears that threaten to come. “You

“And I know it’s s hitty of me. I realize that

relationship, I just kept telling myself

sexually attracted to you, you

other stuff and just spend my life

me happy.”

fades, and it’s just the two of us in our bubble

to rage at him, I

chains society can

expectations and norms.

“I’m so, so sorry, Abby. I’ve been untruthful, and

you, deeply. But not in the way

romantic way you deserve.”

the heel of my hand into my eyes, trying to stem the tears. “Why didn’t you

“Why let it go on for so

“Fear,” he

the one person

all this time, every touch, every moment, was

not a lie. Distorted, yes. But

couldn’t offer you the kind of love you

Here is a man, torn and twisted by societal expectations,

But at my expense? The

distant sounds of people

far away. I feel

thinking, my fingers slide to the engagement ring on my

love that wasn’t truly mine. With tears blurring my vision, I

the gesture not lost on

treasured ring to

same pain I feel.

I can tell he’s struggling with his

the ring towards him,

belong to me anymore.”