Chasing His Kickass Luna Back by Jane Above Story

#Chapter 45: Bad Taste
Abby

“Adam… Are you cheating on me?”

The anticipation of what Adam is about to say feels like a giant pit in my stomach. He stares down at

his hands, his fingers worrying each other in the dim light of the bar.

“Abby,” his voice starts with a tremor, “I’m not cheating on you. I would never do something like that.

Not to anyone, and especially not to you.”

The sound of the soft jazz music I’ve got playing on the speakers almost seems to die down, replaced

by a poignant silence. I’m a little relieved, but not completely. In an odd way, I think that I almost wish

he was cheating on me. It would make things easier. But now, I think that it must only be an even more

complicated explanation, and whatever it is, I’m not sure if I’m ready for it.

“What is it, then?” I ask. Every fiber of my being is attuned to him, waiting.

Adam hesitates for a moment, raking a hand through his hair, a gesture I’ve come to associate with his

nervousness.

“I’m not into women.”

His words crash over me like a tidal wave. I struggle to keep my composure, trying to grasp what he’s

just admitted. My mind goes blank, and then rushes in with a barrage of thoughts.

Confusion, hurt, and disbelief lead the charge.

“You’re… g ay, Adam? And you knew all this time?”

Adam nods slowly. I feel like I’m drowning. “You knew all this time, and yet you still put a ring on my

finger,” I murmur, shaking my head in disbelief. This has got to be some kind of sick dream. “Why did

you get together with me so quickly, then?”

After a moment of tense pause, Adam speaks. “I got together with you so quickly because…” He sighs,

his voice barely above a whisper. “…It made my family happy. It was a way to keep my secret buried

deep.”

Tears well up, threatening to spill.

do this to me, of all

with remorse. “It wasn’t

suffocating. Being with you,

felt genuine. But as things progressed,

lie. A lie

I mutter, blinking away the tears that threaten to come.

not fair,” he murmurs. “And

kept telling myself that I could be happy with

to you, you made me laugh

that I could get over the other stuff and just

me happy.”

around us fades, and it’s just the two of

I want to rage at

the chains society can wrap around

expectations and norms.

speaking, words tumbling out. “I’m so, so sorry, Abby. I’ve been

not in the way you should be

romantic way you deserve.”

the heel of my hand into my eyes, trying to stem the tears. “Why didn’t

go on for

own emotions. “Fear,” he chokes out. “I was

person who made me

all weighs on me. “So, all this time,

his head, quickly, “No, not a lie. Distorted, yes. But I’ve cherished our moments, Abby.

I couldn’t offer you the

pang of sympathy. Here

his place. But at my expense? The juxtaposition

between us. The distant sounds of people passing by on

away. I feel like I’m trapped in a vacuum

engagement ring on my finger. The

wasn’t truly mine. With tears blurring my vision, I carefully slide

finality of the gesture not lost on

my palm, displaying the once treasured ring to Adam. He looks down,

same pain I feel.

voice c racks, and I can tell he’s struggling with

him, my tears now streaming down my face.

belong to me anymore.”