Chasing His Kickass Luna Back by Jane Above Story

#Chapter 45: Bad Taste
Abby

“Adam… Are you cheating on me?”

The anticipation of what Adam is about to say feels like a giant pit in my stomach. He stares down at

his hands, his fingers worrying each other in the dim light of the bar.

“Abby,” his voice starts with a tremor, “I’m not cheating on you. I would never do something like that.

Not to anyone, and especially not to you.”

The sound of the soft jazz music I’ve got playing on the speakers almost seems to die down, replaced

by a poignant silence. I’m a little relieved, but not completely. In an odd way, I think that I almost wish

he was cheating on me. It would make things easier. But now, I think that it must only be an even more

complicated explanation, and whatever it is, I’m not sure if I’m ready for it.

“What is it, then?” I ask. Every fiber of my being is attuned to him, waiting.

Adam hesitates for a moment, raking a hand through his hair, a gesture I’ve come to associate with his

nervousness.

“I’m not into women.”

His words crash over me like a tidal wave. I struggle to keep my composure, trying to grasp what he’s

just admitted. My mind goes blank, and then rushes in with a barrage of thoughts.

Confusion, hurt, and disbelief lead the charge.

“You’re… g ay, Adam? And you knew all this time?”

Adam nods slowly. I feel like I’m drowning. “You knew all this time, and yet you still put a ring on my

finger,” I murmur, shaking my head in disbelief. This has got to be some kind of sick dream. “Why did

you get together with me so quickly, then?”

After a moment of tense pause, Adam speaks. “I got together with you so quickly because…” He sighs,

his voice barely above a whisper. “…It made my family happy. It was a way to keep my secret buried

deep.”

throat. Tears well up, threatening to spill. “But why me, Adam?” I

to me, of

with remorse. “It wasn’t planned, Abby. When we

suffocating. Being with you,

genuine. But as things progressed,

lie. A lie I trapped

“That’s not fair,” I mutter, blinking away the tears that threaten

“I know it’s not fair,” he murmurs. “And I

telling myself that I could be happy

wasn’t sexually attracted to you, you made me laugh and

that I could get over the other stuff

me happy.”

the two

as I want to rage at him, I

understanding of the chains society

expectations and norms.

so sorry,

of this. I care about you, deeply. But not in the way

romantic way you deserve.”

my hand into my eyes, trying to stem

in my voice. “Why let it go on for so long

“Fear,” he chokes out. “I was afraid of losing

losing the one person who made

it all weighs on me. “So, all this time, every

a lie. Distorted,

offer you the kind of

can’t help but feel a pang of sympathy. Here is a man, torn and twisted by

place. But at

distant sounds of people passing by on the

sounds so far away. I feel like

to the engagement ring on

symbol of a love that wasn’t truly mine. With tears blurring my vision, I carefully slide the ring

finality of the gesture not lost

treasured ring to

same pain I feel.

racks, and I can tell

whisper, pushing the ring towards him, my tears now streaming down

belong to me anymore.”