Chasing His Kickass Luna Back by Jane Above Story

#Chapter 45: Bad Taste
Abby

“Adam… Are you cheating on me?”

The anticipation of what Adam is about to say feels like a giant pit in my stomach. He stares down at

his hands, his fingers worrying each other in the dim light of the bar.

“Abby,” his voice starts with a tremor, “I’m not cheating on you. I would never do something like that.

Not to anyone, and especially not to you.”

The sound of the soft jazz music I’ve got playing on the speakers almost seems to die down, replaced

by a poignant silence. I’m a little relieved, but not completely. In an odd way, I think that I almost wish

he was cheating on me. It would make things easier. But now, I think that it must only be an even more

complicated explanation, and whatever it is, I’m not sure if I’m ready for it.

“What is it, then?” I ask. Every fiber of my being is attuned to him, waiting.

Adam hesitates for a moment, raking a hand through his hair, a gesture I’ve come to associate with his

nervousness.

“I’m not into women.”

His words crash over me like a tidal wave. I struggle to keep my composure, trying to grasp what he’s

just admitted. My mind goes blank, and then rushes in with a barrage of thoughts.

Confusion, hurt, and disbelief lead the charge.

“You’re… g ay, Adam? And you knew all this time?”

Adam nods slowly. I feel like I’m drowning. “You knew all this time, and yet you still put a ring on my

finger,” I murmur, shaking my head in disbelief. This has got to be some kind of sick dream. “Why did

you get together with me so quickly, then?”

After a moment of tense pause, Adam speaks. “I got together with you so quickly because…” He sighs,

his voice barely above a whisper. “…It made my family happy. It was a way to keep my secret buried

deep.”

threatening to

do this to me, of all the people

with remorse. “It

my family was suffocating. Being

our moments… they all felt genuine. But as things progressed,

lie I trapped myself

away the tears that threaten to come. “You toyed

murmurs. “And I know it’s s hitty of me. I

I guess throughout our relationship, I just kept telling myself that

you, you made me

get over the other stuff and just

me happy.”

just the two of us in our

much as I want to rage at him,

an understanding of the chains society can wrap around someone, chaining them

expectations and norms.

tumbling out. “I’m so, so sorry, Abby. I’ve

not in the way you

romantic way you deserve.”

the heel of my hand into my eyes, trying to stem the tears. “Why

in my voice. “Why let it go on for so long without so

are glistening, mirroring my own emotions. “Fear,” he

losing the one person who made me

all this time, every touch, every moment, was it all a

his head, quickly, “No, not a lie. Distorted, yes. But I’ve cherished our moments, Abby.

I couldn’t offer you the kind of love

Here

place. But at my expense? The juxtaposition is

The distant sounds of people passing by on the

all sounds so far away. I

the engagement ring on my finger. The

symbol of a love that wasn’t truly mine. With tears blurring

the gesture not lost on

my palm, displaying the once treasured ring to Adam. He looks down, his

same pain I feel.

His voice c racks, and I can

pushing the ring towards him,

belong to me anymore.”