Chasing His Kickass Luna Back by Jane Above Story

#Chapter 45: Bad Taste
Abby

“Adam… Are you cheating on me?”

The anticipation of what Adam is about to say feels like a giant pit in my stomach. He stares down at

his hands, his fingers worrying each other in the dim light of the bar.

“Abby,” his voice starts with a tremor, “I’m not cheating on you. I would never do something like that.

Not to anyone, and especially not to you.”

The sound of the soft jazz music I’ve got playing on the speakers almost seems to die down, replaced

by a poignant silence. I’m a little relieved, but not completely. In an odd way, I think that I almost wish

he was cheating on me. It would make things easier. But now, I think that it must only be an even more

complicated explanation, and whatever it is, I’m not sure if I’m ready for it.

“What is it, then?” I ask. Every fiber of my being is attuned to him, waiting.

Adam hesitates for a moment, raking a hand through his hair, a gesture I’ve come to associate with his

nervousness.

“I’m not into women.”

His words crash over me like a tidal wave. I struggle to keep my composure, trying to grasp what he’s

just admitted. My mind goes blank, and then rushes in with a barrage of thoughts.

Confusion, hurt, and disbelief lead the charge.

“You’re… g ay, Adam? And you knew all this time?”

Adam nods slowly. I feel like I’m drowning. “You knew all this time, and yet you still put a ring on my

finger,” I murmur, shaking my head in disbelief. This has got to be some kind of sick dream. “Why did

you get together with me so quickly, then?”

After a moment of tense pause, Adam speaks. “I got together with you so quickly because…” He sighs,

his voice barely above a whisper. “…It made my family happy. It was a way to keep my secret buried

deep.”

throat. Tears well up, threatening to spill. “But why me, Adam?” I croak out.

do this to me, of all the people in the

his gaze filled with remorse. “It

was suffocating. Being with you,

they all felt genuine. But as

A lie I trapped

not fair,” I mutter, blinking away the tears that threaten to come. “You

fair,” he murmurs. “And I know it’s s hitty of me. I realize

I guess throughout our relationship, I just kept telling myself

to you, you made me laugh

other stuff and

me happy.”

fades, and it’s just the two of us in

rage at him, I find myself filled

understanding of the chains society can wrap around someone, chaining them

expectations and norms.

so sorry, Abby.

of this. I care about you, deeply. But not in the way you should be

romantic way you deserve.”

trying

“Why let it go on for

“Fear,” he chokes out. “I was

person who made me

it all weighs on me. “So, all this time, every touch, every moment, was

quickly, “No, not a lie. Distorted, yes. But I’ve

you the kind of love

feel a pang of sympathy. Here

at my expense? The

silence stretches between us. The distant sounds

sounds so far away. I feel like

fingers slide to the engagement ring on my finger. The cool

a love that wasn’t truly mine. With tears blurring my vision,

finality of the gesture not lost on

ring to Adam. He

same pain I feel.

I can tell he’s struggling

pushing the ring towards him,

belong to me anymore.”