Chasing His Kickass Luna Back by Jane Above Story

#Chapter 45: Bad Taste
Abby

“Adam… Are you cheating on me?”

The anticipation of what Adam is about to say feels like a giant pit in my stomach. He stares down at

his hands, his fingers worrying each other in the dim light of the bar.

“Abby,” his voice starts with a tremor, “I’m not cheating on you. I would never do something like that.

Not to anyone, and especially not to you.”

The sound of the soft jazz music I’ve got playing on the speakers almost seems to die down, replaced

by a poignant silence. I’m a little relieved, but not completely. In an odd way, I think that I almost wish

he was cheating on me. It would make things easier. But now, I think that it must only be an even more

complicated explanation, and whatever it is, I’m not sure if I’m ready for it.

“What is it, then?” I ask. Every fiber of my being is attuned to him, waiting.

Adam hesitates for a moment, raking a hand through his hair, a gesture I’ve come to associate with his

nervousness.

“I’m not into women.”

His words crash over me like a tidal wave. I struggle to keep my composure, trying to grasp what he’s

just admitted. My mind goes blank, and then rushes in with a barrage of thoughts.

Confusion, hurt, and disbelief lead the charge.

“You’re… g ay, Adam? And you knew all this time?”

Adam nods slowly. I feel like I’m drowning. “You knew all this time, and yet you still put a ring on my

finger,” I murmur, shaking my head in disbelief. This has got to be some kind of sick dream. “Why did

you get together with me so quickly, then?”

After a moment of tense pause, Adam speaks. “I got together with you so quickly because…” He sighs,

his voice barely above a whisper. “…It made my family happy. It was a way to keep my secret buried

deep.”

Tears well up, threatening to spill. “But why me, Adam?”

do this to me, of all

shaky breath, his gaze filled with remorse. “It wasn’t planned, Abby. When we met,

pressure from my family was suffocating. Being with you,

our moments… they all felt genuine. But as

A lie I trapped

feel sick. “That’s not fair,” I mutter, blinking away

deeply. “I know it’s not fair,” he murmurs. “And

throughout our relationship, I just kept telling

I wasn’t sexually attracted to you, you made me laugh and smile

could get over the other stuff and just spend my life with someone who

me happy.”

us fades, and it’s just the two of us

at him, I find myself filled

understanding of the chains society can wrap around someone,

expectations and norms.

speaking, words tumbling out. “I’m so, so sorry, Abby. I’ve been untruthful,

care about you, deeply. But not in the way you

romantic way you deserve.”

of my hand into my eyes, trying to stem the tears.

pain evident in my voice. “Why let it go on for so long without so much as a

glistening, mirroring my own emotions. “Fear,” he chokes

person who made

of it all weighs on me. “So, all this time, every touch, every moment, was it all

“No, not a lie. Distorted,

offer you the kind

can’t help but feel a pang of sympathy. Here is

at my expense?

The distant sounds of

sounds so far away. I

engagement ring on my finger. The cool

truly mine. With

the gesture not

the once treasured ring to Adam. He looks down, his eyes

same pain I feel.

racks, and I can tell he’s struggling with his

the ring towards him,

belong to me anymore.”