Chasing His Kickass Luna Back by Jane Above Story

#Chapter 45: Bad Taste
Abby

“Adam… Are you cheating on me?”

The anticipation of what Adam is about to say feels like a giant pit in my stomach. He stares down at

his hands, his fingers worrying each other in the dim light of the bar.

“Abby,” his voice starts with a tremor, “I’m not cheating on you. I would never do something like that.

Not to anyone, and especially not to you.”

The sound of the soft jazz music I’ve got playing on the speakers almost seems to die down, replaced

by a poignant silence. I’m a little relieved, but not completely. In an odd way, I think that I almost wish

he was cheating on me. It would make things easier. But now, I think that it must only be an even more

complicated explanation, and whatever it is, I’m not sure if I’m ready for it.

“What is it, then?” I ask. Every fiber of my being is attuned to him, waiting.

Adam hesitates for a moment, raking a hand through his hair, a gesture I’ve come to associate with his

nervousness.

“I’m not into women.”

His words crash over me like a tidal wave. I struggle to keep my composure, trying to grasp what he’s

just admitted. My mind goes blank, and then rushes in with a barrage of thoughts.

Confusion, hurt, and disbelief lead the charge.

“You’re… g ay, Adam? And you knew all this time?”

Adam nods slowly. I feel like I’m drowning. “You knew all this time, and yet you still put a ring on my

finger,” I murmur, shaking my head in disbelief. This has got to be some kind of sick dream. “Why did

you get together with me so quickly, then?”

After a moment of tense pause, Adam speaks. “I got together with you so quickly because…” He sighs,

his voice barely above a whisper. “…It made my family happy. It was a way to keep my secret buried

deep.”

throat. Tears well up, threatening to spill.

you do this to me, of all the people

his gaze filled with remorse. “It wasn’t planned, Abby. When we met, I

family was suffocating. Being with you, it

all felt genuine. But as things progressed, it became

lie. A lie

away the tears

sighs deeply. “I know it’s not fair,” he murmurs. “And I know

our relationship, I just kept telling myself that I could be happy

I wasn’t sexually attracted to you, you made me laugh and smile and you’re

over the other

me happy.”

the two

at

but an understanding of the chains society

expectations and norms.

still speaking, words tumbling out. “I’m so, so sorry, Abby. I’ve been untruthful, and

any of this. I care about you, deeply. But not in the way

romantic way you deserve.”

heel of my hand into my eyes, trying to stem the tears. “Why

“Why let it go on

own emotions. “Fear,” he chokes

losing the one person who made me

all this time, every touch, every moment, was it all

lie.

offer you the kind of love

feel a pang of sympathy. Here is a man, torn and twisted

But at my expense? The juxtaposition is

silence stretches between us. The distant sounds of people passing by on the street

away. I feel like

my fingers slide to the engagement ring on my

that wasn’t truly mine. With tears blurring my

gesture not lost

once treasured ring to Adam. He looks down, his eyes

same pain I feel.

I can tell he’s struggling with

ring towards him, my tears

belong to me anymore.”