Chasing His Kickass Luna Back by Jane Above Story

#Chapter 45: Bad Taste
Abby

“Adam… Are you cheating on me?”

The anticipation of what Adam is about to say feels like a giant pit in my stomach. He stares down at

his hands, his fingers worrying each other in the dim light of the bar.

“Abby,” his voice starts with a tremor, “I’m not cheating on you. I would never do something like that.

Not to anyone, and especially not to you.”

The sound of the soft jazz music I’ve got playing on the speakers almost seems to die down, replaced

by a poignant silence. I’m a little relieved, but not completely. In an odd way, I think that I almost wish

he was cheating on me. It would make things easier. But now, I think that it must only be an even more

complicated explanation, and whatever it is, I’m not sure if I’m ready for it.

“What is it, then?” I ask. Every fiber of my being is attuned to him, waiting.

Adam hesitates for a moment, raking a hand through his hair, a gesture I’ve come to associate with his

nervousness.

“I’m not into women.”

His words crash over me like a tidal wave. I struggle to keep my composure, trying to grasp what he’s

just admitted. My mind goes blank, and then rushes in with a barrage of thoughts.

Confusion, hurt, and disbelief lead the charge.

“You’re… g ay, Adam? And you knew all this time?”

Adam nods slowly. I feel like I’m drowning. “You knew all this time, and yet you still put a ring on my

finger,” I murmur, shaking my head in disbelief. This has got to be some kind of sick dream. “Why did

you get together with me so quickly, then?”

After a moment of tense pause, Adam speaks. “I got together with you so quickly because…” He sighs,

his voice barely above a whisper. “…It made my family happy. It was a way to keep my secret buried

deep.”

my throat. Tears well up, threatening to spill. “But why

of all

remorse. “It wasn’t planned,

from my family was suffocating. Being with you,

our moments… they all felt genuine. But as things progressed, it

A lie I trapped myself

feel sick. “That’s not fair,” I mutter, blinking away the tears that threaten

deeply. “I know it’s not fair,” he murmurs. “And I know it’s s hitty

throughout our relationship, I just kept telling myself that I

I wasn’t sexually attracted to you, you made me laugh and smile and you’re my

other stuff and just spend

me happy.”

two of us in our bubble

at him, I find myself

an understanding of the chains society can wrap around

expectations and norms.

so sorry, Abby. I’ve been untruthful,

of this. I care about you, deeply. But not in

romantic way you deserve.”

trying to stem the tears.

“Why let it go on for so long

eyes are glistening, mirroring my own emotions. “Fear,” he chokes out.

one person who

all this time, every touch, every moment, was it all a

“No, not a lie. Distorted, yes. But

the kind

but feel a pang of sympathy. Here is a man, torn and twisted by societal expectations,

his place. But at my

long, heavy silence stretches between us. The distant sounds of

but it all sounds so far away. I feel like I’m

the engagement ring on my finger. The

truly mine. With tears blurring my vision, I carefully slide

finality of the gesture not

my palm, displaying the once treasured ring to Adam. He looks

same pain I feel.

and I

the ring towards him, my tears now streaming down

belong to me anymore.”