Chasing His Kickass Luna Back by Jane Above Story

#Chapter 45: Bad Taste
Abby

“Adam… Are you cheating on me?”

The anticipation of what Adam is about to say feels like a giant pit in my stomach. He stares down at

his hands, his fingers worrying each other in the dim light of the bar.

“Abby,” his voice starts with a tremor, “I’m not cheating on you. I would never do something like that.

Not to anyone, and especially not to you.”

The sound of the soft jazz music I’ve got playing on the speakers almost seems to die down, replaced

by a poignant silence. I’m a little relieved, but not completely. In an odd way, I think that I almost wish

he was cheating on me. It would make things easier. But now, I think that it must only be an even more

complicated explanation, and whatever it is, I’m not sure if I’m ready for it.

“What is it, then?” I ask. Every fiber of my being is attuned to him, waiting.

Adam hesitates for a moment, raking a hand through his hair, a gesture I’ve come to associate with his

nervousness.

“I’m not into women.”

His words crash over me like a tidal wave. I struggle to keep my composure, trying to grasp what he’s

just admitted. My mind goes blank, and then rushes in with a barrage of thoughts.

Confusion, hurt, and disbelief lead the charge.

“You’re… g ay, Adam? And you knew all this time?”

Adam nods slowly. I feel like I’m drowning. “You knew all this time, and yet you still put a ring on my

finger,” I murmur, shaking my head in disbelief. This has got to be some kind of sick dream. “Why did

you get together with me so quickly, then?”

After a moment of tense pause, Adam speaks. “I got together with you so quickly because…” He sighs,

his voice barely above a whisper. “…It made my family happy. It was a way to keep my secret buried

deep.”

throat. Tears well up, threatening to spill. “But why me, Adam?” I

of

gaze filled with remorse. “It wasn’t

suffocating. Being with

our moments… they all felt genuine. But

lie. A lie

fair,” I mutter, blinking away the tears that threaten to

it’s not fair,” he murmurs. “And

relationship, I just kept telling

to you, you made me

I thought that I could get over the other stuff and just spend my life with

me happy.”

the two

at

an understanding of the chains society can wrap around someone, chaining

expectations and norms.

still speaking, words tumbling out. “I’m so, so sorry, Abby. I’ve been untruthful, and

not

romantic way you deserve.”

my eyes, trying

“Why let it go on for so long without

are glistening, mirroring my own emotions. “Fear,” he chokes out. “I was afraid

losing the one person who made me

this time, every touch, every moment, was

lie. Distorted,

offer you the kind of love you

a pang of sympathy. Here is a man, torn and twisted by

his place. But at

between us. The distant sounds of

far away.

thinking, my fingers slide to the engagement ring

wasn’t truly mine. With tears blurring my vision, I

the gesture

open my palm, displaying the once treasured ring

same pain I feel.

and I can

him, my tears now streaming down my face.

belong to me anymore.”