Chasing His Kickass Luna Back by Jane Above Story

#Chapter 45: Bad Taste
Abby

“Adam… Are you cheating on me?”

The anticipation of what Adam is about to say feels like a giant pit in my stomach. He stares down at

his hands, his fingers worrying each other in the dim light of the bar.

“Abby,” his voice starts with a tremor, “I’m not cheating on you. I would never do something like that.

Not to anyone, and especially not to you.”

The sound of the soft jazz music I’ve got playing on the speakers almost seems to die down, replaced

by a poignant silence. I’m a little relieved, but not completely. In an odd way, I think that I almost wish

he was cheating on me. It would make things easier. But now, I think that it must only be an even more

complicated explanation, and whatever it is, I’m not sure if I’m ready for it.

“What is it, then?” I ask. Every fiber of my being is attuned to him, waiting.

Adam hesitates for a moment, raking a hand through his hair, a gesture I’ve come to associate with his

nervousness.

“I’m not into women.”

His words crash over me like a tidal wave. I struggle to keep my composure, trying to grasp what he’s

just admitted. My mind goes blank, and then rushes in with a barrage of thoughts.

Confusion, hurt, and disbelief lead the charge.

“You’re… g ay, Adam? And you knew all this time?”

Adam nods slowly. I feel like I’m drowning. “You knew all this time, and yet you still put a ring on my

finger,” I murmur, shaking my head in disbelief. This has got to be some kind of sick dream. “Why did

you get together with me so quickly, then?”

After a moment of tense pause, Adam speaks. “I got together with you so quickly because…” He sighs,

his voice barely above a whisper. “…It made my family happy. It was a way to keep my secret buried

deep.”

lump forms in my throat. Tears well up, threatening to spill. “But why me, Adam?” I

you do this to me, of all the people in the

his gaze filled with remorse. “It wasn’t planned, Abby. When we

family was suffocating. Being with

they all felt genuine. But as things progressed,

lie. A lie I

blinking away the tears that threaten to come.

not fair,” he murmurs. “And I know it’s s hitty of me. I realize that

telling myself

attracted to you, you made me laugh and smile

I thought that I could get over the other stuff

me happy.”

us fades, and it’s just the two

as I want to rage at him, I find myself

the chains society can wrap around someone,

expectations and norms.

“I’m so, so sorry, Abby. I’ve been untruthful,

this. I care about you, deeply. But not in the way you should be cared

romantic way you deserve.”

heel of my hand into my eyes, trying to stem the tears. “Why didn’t

pain evident in my voice. “Why let it go on for so long without

my own emotions. “Fear,”

the one person who made me

“So, all this time, every touch,

lie. Distorted, yes.

couldn’t offer you the kind of

sympathy. Here is

at my expense?

silence stretches between us. The distant

so far away. I feel like I’m trapped

to the engagement ring on my finger. The cool

wasn’t truly mine. With tears blurring my vision, I

finality of the gesture

displaying the once treasured ring to Adam. He looks down, his eyes

same pain I feel.

voice c racks, and I can

I whisper, pushing the ring towards him,

belong to me anymore.”