Chasing His Kickass Luna Back by Jane Above Story

#Chapter 45: Bad Taste
Abby

“Adam… Are you cheating on me?”

The anticipation of what Adam is about to say feels like a giant pit in my stomach. He stares down at

his hands, his fingers worrying each other in the dim light of the bar.

“Abby,” his voice starts with a tremor, “I’m not cheating on you. I would never do something like that.

Not to anyone, and especially not to you.”

The sound of the soft jazz music I’ve got playing on the speakers almost seems to die down, replaced

by a poignant silence. I’m a little relieved, but not completely. In an odd way, I think that I almost wish

he was cheating on me. It would make things easier. But now, I think that it must only be an even more

complicated explanation, and whatever it is, I’m not sure if I’m ready for it.

“What is it, then?” I ask. Every fiber of my being is attuned to him, waiting.

Adam hesitates for a moment, raking a hand through his hair, a gesture I’ve come to associate with his

nervousness.

“I’m not into women.”

His words crash over me like a tidal wave. I struggle to keep my composure, trying to grasp what he’s

just admitted. My mind goes blank, and then rushes in with a barrage of thoughts.

Confusion, hurt, and disbelief lead the charge.

“You’re… g ay, Adam? And you knew all this time?”

Adam nods slowly. I feel like I’m drowning. “You knew all this time, and yet you still put a ring on my

finger,” I murmur, shaking my head in disbelief. This has got to be some kind of sick dream. “Why did

you get together with me so quickly, then?”

After a moment of tense pause, Adam speaks. “I got together with you so quickly because…” He sighs,

his voice barely above a whisper. “…It made my family happy. It was a way to keep my secret buried

deep.”

threatening to spill. “But why me, Adam?” I croak out.

this to me, of all

his gaze filled with remorse. “It wasn’t planned, Abby. When

my family was suffocating. Being with you, it gave me an escape.

felt genuine. But as

lie. A lie I

blinking away the tears that

not fair,” he murmurs. “And I know it’s s hitty of

guess throughout our relationship, I just kept telling myself that I could be

you, you made me laugh and smile and you’re my

thought that I could get over the other stuff

me happy.”

us fades, and it’s just the two of us in our

at

society can wrap around someone, chaining

expectations and norms.

still speaking, words tumbling out. “I’m so, so sorry,

you, deeply. But not in the way you should be

romantic way you deserve.”

my hand into my eyes, trying to stem

go

glistening, mirroring my own emotions. “Fear,” he chokes out. “I was

one person who made me feel

all this time, every touch, every moment, was it all

“No, not a lie.

you the kind of

a pang of sympathy. Here is a man, torn and twisted by societal

place. But at

distant sounds of people passing by

it all sounds so far away. I feel like

engagement ring on my

a love that wasn’t truly mine. With tears blurring my vision, I carefully slide the ring

finality of the gesture

displaying the once treasured ring to Adam. He looks down, his eyes

same pain I feel.

c racks, and I

ring towards him,

belong to me anymore.”