Chasing His Kickass Luna Back by Jane Above Story

#Chapter 45: Bad Taste
Abby

“Adam… Are you cheating on me?”

The anticipation of what Adam is about to say feels like a giant pit in my stomach. He stares down at

his hands, his fingers worrying each other in the dim light of the bar.

“Abby,” his voice starts with a tremor, “I’m not cheating on you. I would never do something like that.

Not to anyone, and especially not to you.”

The sound of the soft jazz music I’ve got playing on the speakers almost seems to die down, replaced

by a poignant silence. I’m a little relieved, but not completely. In an odd way, I think that I almost wish

he was cheating on me. It would make things easier. But now, I think that it must only be an even more

complicated explanation, and whatever it is, I’m not sure if I’m ready for it.

“What is it, then?” I ask. Every fiber of my being is attuned to him, waiting.

Adam hesitates for a moment, raking a hand through his hair, a gesture I’ve come to associate with his

nervousness.

“I’m not into women.”

His words crash over me like a tidal wave. I struggle to keep my composure, trying to grasp what he’s

just admitted. My mind goes blank, and then rushes in with a barrage of thoughts.

Confusion, hurt, and disbelief lead the charge.

“You’re… g ay, Adam? And you knew all this time?”

Adam nods slowly. I feel like I’m drowning. “You knew all this time, and yet you still put a ring on my

finger,” I murmur, shaking my head in disbelief. This has got to be some kind of sick dream. “Why did

you get together with me so quickly, then?”

After a moment of tense pause, Adam speaks. “I got together with you so quickly because…” He sighs,

his voice barely above a whisper. “…It made my family happy. It was a way to keep my secret buried

deep.”

threatening to spill. “But why me, Adam?” I

to me, of all the

takes a shaky breath, his gaze filled with remorse. “It wasn’t planned, Abby. When we met, I

Being with you, it

our moments… they all felt genuine. But as things progressed, it became about

A lie

blinking away

murmurs. “And I know it’s s hitty

kept telling myself that I

to you, you made me

thought that I could get over the other stuff and just spend

me happy.”

and it’s just the two of us in our bubble of truth and

and as much as I want to rage at him, I find myself filled with

the chains society can

expectations and norms.

so, so sorry, Abby.

I care about you, deeply. But not in

romantic way you deserve.”

my hand into my eyes, trying to stem the tears.

my voice. “Why let it go on for so long without so much as a

emotions. “Fear,” he chokes out. “I was afraid

losing the one person who made

gravity of it all weighs on me. “So, all this time, every touch, every moment, was

head, quickly, “No, not a lie. Distorted, yes. But I’ve cherished our moments,

couldn’t offer you the

feel a pang of sympathy. Here is a man,

his place. But at my

between us. The distant sounds of people passing by on the street

sounds so far away. I feel like I’m trapped in a vacuum

fingers slide to the engagement ring on

symbol of a love that wasn’t truly mine. With

the gesture

open my palm, displaying the once treasured ring to Adam.

same pain I feel.

racks, and I

him, my tears now streaming down

belong to me anymore.”