Chasing His Kickass Luna Back by Jane Above Story

#Chapter 45: Bad Taste
Abby

“Adam… Are you cheating on me?”

The anticipation of what Adam is about to say feels like a giant pit in my stomach. He stares down at

his hands, his fingers worrying each other in the dim light of the bar.

“Abby,” his voice starts with a tremor, “I’m not cheating on you. I would never do something like that.

Not to anyone, and especially not to you.”

The sound of the soft jazz music I’ve got playing on the speakers almost seems to die down, replaced

by a poignant silence. I’m a little relieved, but not completely. In an odd way, I think that I almost wish

he was cheating on me. It would make things easier. But now, I think that it must only be an even more

complicated explanation, and whatever it is, I’m not sure if I’m ready for it.

“What is it, then?” I ask. Every fiber of my being is attuned to him, waiting.

Adam hesitates for a moment, raking a hand through his hair, a gesture I’ve come to associate with his

nervousness.

“I’m not into women.”

His words crash over me like a tidal wave. I struggle to keep my composure, trying to grasp what he’s

just admitted. My mind goes blank, and then rushes in with a barrage of thoughts.

Confusion, hurt, and disbelief lead the charge.

“You’re… g ay, Adam? And you knew all this time?”

Adam nods slowly. I feel like I’m drowning. “You knew all this time, and yet you still put a ring on my

finger,” I murmur, shaking my head in disbelief. This has got to be some kind of sick dream. “Why did

you get together with me so quickly, then?”

After a moment of tense pause, Adam speaks. “I got together with you so quickly because…” He sighs,

his voice barely above a whisper. “…It made my family happy. It was a way to keep my secret buried

deep.”

my throat. Tears well up, threatening to spill. “But why me, Adam?” I croak out.

you do this to me, of all the people in the

gaze filled with remorse. “It wasn’t planned, Abby. When we met,

Being with you, it gave me an

all felt genuine. But as things

lie. A lie I trapped

fair,” I mutter, blinking away the tears that threaten to come. “You toyed

know it’s not fair,” he murmurs. “And I know

I just kept telling myself that I could be happy with

you made me laugh and smile

thought that I could get over the other stuff and just spend my life with

me happy.”

bar around us fades, and it’s just the two of us

as I want to rage at him, I find myself filled with a strange understanding.

of the chains society can wrap around

expectations and norms.

words tumbling out. “I’m so, so sorry, Abby. I’ve been

But not in the way you should be cared for. Not in

romantic way you deserve.”

of my hand into my eyes, trying to stem the tears. “Why

pain evident in my voice. “Why let it go on for so long without so much as a

eyes are glistening, mirroring my own emotions. “Fear,” he

person who

“So, all this time, every

not a lie. Distorted, yes. But

the kind of love you

of sympathy. Here

place. But at my

The distant

ears, but it all sounds so far away. I feel like I’m trapped in a vacuum

to the engagement ring on my finger. The cool

love that wasn’t truly mine. With tears blurring

the gesture

open my palm, displaying the once treasured ring to Adam.

same pain I feel.

His voice c racks, and I can tell he’s struggling with his

towards him, my tears now streaming

belong to me anymore.”