Chasing His Kickass Luna Back by Jane Above Story

#Chapter 45: Bad Taste
Abby

“Adam… Are you cheating on me?”

The anticipation of what Adam is about to say feels like a giant pit in my stomach. He stares down at

his hands, his fingers worrying each other in the dim light of the bar.

“Abby,” his voice starts with a tremor, “I’m not cheating on you. I would never do something like that.

Not to anyone, and especially not to you.”

The sound of the soft jazz music I’ve got playing on the speakers almost seems to die down, replaced

by a poignant silence. I’m a little relieved, but not completely. In an odd way, I think that I almost wish

he was cheating on me. It would make things easier. But now, I think that it must only be an even more

complicated explanation, and whatever it is, I’m not sure if I’m ready for it.

“What is it, then?” I ask. Every fiber of my being is attuned to him, waiting.

Adam hesitates for a moment, raking a hand through his hair, a gesture I’ve come to associate with his

nervousness.

“I’m not into women.”

His words crash over me like a tidal wave. I struggle to keep my composure, trying to grasp what he’s

just admitted. My mind goes blank, and then rushes in with a barrage of thoughts.

Confusion, hurt, and disbelief lead the charge.

“You’re… g ay, Adam? And you knew all this time?”

Adam nods slowly. I feel like I’m drowning. “You knew all this time, and yet you still put a ring on my

finger,” I murmur, shaking my head in disbelief. This has got to be some kind of sick dream. “Why did

you get together with me so quickly, then?”

After a moment of tense pause, Adam speaks. “I got together with you so quickly because…” He sighs,

his voice barely above a whisper. “…It made my family happy. It was a way to keep my secret buried

deep.”

lump forms in my throat. Tears well up, threatening to spill. “But why me, Adam?”

me, of all the people

takes a shaky breath, his gaze filled with remorse. “It wasn’t planned, Abby. When we met,

from my family was suffocating. Being with you, it gave me an

they all felt genuine. But as

lie. A lie

sick. “That’s not fair,” I mutter, blinking away

he murmurs. “And I know it’s s hitty of me.

relationship, I just kept telling myself that I

attracted to you, you made me laugh and smile and

other stuff and just spend my

me happy.”

and it’s just the two of us in our

want to rage at him, I find myself filled

society can

expectations and norms.

so sorry, Abby. I’ve

any of this. I care about you, deeply. But not in

romantic way you deserve.”

of my hand into my eyes, trying

pain evident in my voice. “Why let it go on

eyes are glistening, mirroring my own emotions. “Fear,” he chokes out.

losing the one person who made

weighs on me. “So, all this

lie. Distorted, yes. But I’ve cherished our

you the kind of

feel a pang of sympathy. Here is a man, torn

find his place. But at my expense? The juxtaposition

between us. The distant sounds

it all sounds so far away. I

engagement ring on my finger.

that wasn’t truly mine. With

of the gesture

my palm, displaying the once treasured ring to Adam. He looks down, his eyes reflecting

same pain I feel.

racks, and I can

him, my tears now streaming

belong to me anymore.”