Chasing His Kickass Luna Back by Jane Above Story

#Chapter 45: Bad Taste
Abby

“Adam… Are you cheating on me?”

The anticipation of what Adam is about to say feels like a giant pit in my stomach. He stares down at

his hands, his fingers worrying each other in the dim light of the bar.

“Abby,” his voice starts with a tremor, “I’m not cheating on you. I would never do something like that.

Not to anyone, and especially not to you.”

The sound of the soft jazz music I’ve got playing on the speakers almost seems to die down, replaced

by a poignant silence. I’m a little relieved, but not completely. In an odd way, I think that I almost wish

he was cheating on me. It would make things easier. But now, I think that it must only be an even more

complicated explanation, and whatever it is, I’m not sure if I’m ready for it.

“What is it, then?” I ask. Every fiber of my being is attuned to him, waiting.

Adam hesitates for a moment, raking a hand through his hair, a gesture I’ve come to associate with his

nervousness.

“I’m not into women.”

His words crash over me like a tidal wave. I struggle to keep my composure, trying to grasp what he’s

just admitted. My mind goes blank, and then rushes in with a barrage of thoughts.

Confusion, hurt, and disbelief lead the charge.

“You’re… g ay, Adam? And you knew all this time?”

Adam nods slowly. I feel like I’m drowning. “You knew all this time, and yet you still put a ring on my

finger,” I murmur, shaking my head in disbelief. This has got to be some kind of sick dream. “Why did

you get together with me so quickly, then?”

After a moment of tense pause, Adam speaks. “I got together with you so quickly because…” He sighs,

his voice barely above a whisper. “…It made my family happy. It was a way to keep my secret buried

deep.”

throat. Tears well up, threatening to spill. “But why me, Adam?” I croak out.

you do this to me, of all the people in the

shaky breath, his gaze filled with remorse. “It wasn’t planned, Abby. When we

suffocating. Being with you, it gave me

our moments… they all felt genuine. But as things progressed, it became about

lie. A lie I trapped

I mutter, blinking away the tears that threaten to come. “You toyed with

he murmurs. “And I know it’s s hitty of

I guess throughout our relationship, I just kept telling myself that

wasn’t sexually attracted to you, you made me laugh

I thought that I could get over the other stuff and just spend my life with someone who

me happy.”

bar around us fades, and it’s just the two

I want to rage at him, I find myself filled

an understanding of the chains society can wrap

expectations and norms.

“I’m so, so sorry,

not in the way

romantic way you deserve.”

rub the heel of my hand into my eyes, trying to stem

“Why let it go on for so long

emotions. “Fear,”

person who made me

me. “So, all this time, every touch,

head, quickly, “No, not a lie. Distorted, yes. But I’ve cherished

the kind

can’t help but feel a pang of sympathy. Here is a man, torn and twisted by

place. But at my expense?

The distant sounds of

ears, but it all sounds so far away. I feel like I’m

to the engagement ring on my finger. The cool metal

a love that wasn’t truly mine. With tears blurring my vision,

of the gesture not lost on

palm, displaying the once treasured ring to

same pain I feel.

racks, and I can

towards him, my tears now

belong to me anymore.”