Chasing His Kickass Luna Back by Jane Above Story

#Chapter 45: Bad Taste
Abby

“Adam… Are you cheating on me?”

The anticipation of what Adam is about to say feels like a giant pit in my stomach. He stares down at

his hands, his fingers worrying each other in the dim light of the bar.

“Abby,” his voice starts with a tremor, “I’m not cheating on you. I would never do something like that.

Not to anyone, and especially not to you.”

The sound of the soft jazz music I’ve got playing on the speakers almost seems to die down, replaced

by a poignant silence. I’m a little relieved, but not completely. In an odd way, I think that I almost wish

he was cheating on me. It would make things easier. But now, I think that it must only be an even more

complicated explanation, and whatever it is, I’m not sure if I’m ready for it.

“What is it, then?” I ask. Every fiber of my being is attuned to him, waiting.

Adam hesitates for a moment, raking a hand through his hair, a gesture I’ve come to associate with his

nervousness.

“I’m not into women.”

His words crash over me like a tidal wave. I struggle to keep my composure, trying to grasp what he’s

just admitted. My mind goes blank, and then rushes in with a barrage of thoughts.

Confusion, hurt, and disbelief lead the charge.

“You’re… g ay, Adam? And you knew all this time?”

Adam nods slowly. I feel like I’m drowning. “You knew all this time, and yet you still put a ring on my

finger,” I murmur, shaking my head in disbelief. This has got to be some kind of sick dream. “Why did

you get together with me so quickly, then?”

After a moment of tense pause, Adam speaks. “I got together with you so quickly because…” He sighs,

his voice barely above a whisper. “…It made my family happy. It was a way to keep my secret buried

deep.”

lump forms in my throat. Tears well up, threatening to spill.

you do this to me, of all

shaky breath, his gaze filled with remorse.

was suffocating. Being with you, it gave me

felt genuine. But as

lie. A lie I

mutter, blinking away the tears that threaten

he murmurs. “And I know it’s s hitty of me. I

just kept telling myself that I could be

you, you made me laugh and smile and you’re

that I could get over the other stuff

me happy.”

around us fades, and it’s just the two of us in our bubble of truth

and as much as I want to rage at him, I find myself filled with a strange

of the chains society can

expectations and norms.

so, so sorry, Abby. I’ve

care about you, deeply. But not in the way you should

romantic way you deserve.”

rub the heel of my hand into my eyes, trying to stem the tears. “Why didn’t you

let it go

own emotions. “Fear,” he chokes out. “I was afraid

the one person who made me

me. “So, all this time, every touch, every moment, was it all a

his head, quickly, “No, not a lie. Distorted, yes.

couldn’t offer you the kind of

a pang of sympathy. Here is a

his place. But at my

The distant sounds of people passing by on

far away. I feel like

ring on my finger. The cool

that wasn’t truly mine. With tears blurring my vision, I carefully

the gesture not

open my palm, displaying the once treasured ring to Adam. He looks down, his

same pain I feel.

racks, and I

pushing the ring towards him, my tears now streaming down my face.

belong to me anymore.”