Chasing His Kickass Luna Back by Jane Above Story

#Chapter 45: Bad Taste
Abby

“Adam… Are you cheating on me?”

The anticipation of what Adam is about to say feels like a giant pit in my stomach. He stares down at

his hands, his fingers worrying each other in the dim light of the bar.

“Abby,” his voice starts with a tremor, “I’m not cheating on you. I would never do something like that.

Not to anyone, and especially not to you.”

The sound of the soft jazz music I’ve got playing on the speakers almost seems to die down, replaced

by a poignant silence. I’m a little relieved, but not completely. In an odd way, I think that I almost wish

he was cheating on me. It would make things easier. But now, I think that it must only be an even more

complicated explanation, and whatever it is, I’m not sure if I’m ready for it.

“What is it, then?” I ask. Every fiber of my being is attuned to him, waiting.

Adam hesitates for a moment, raking a hand through his hair, a gesture I’ve come to associate with his

nervousness.

“I’m not into women.”

His words crash over me like a tidal wave. I struggle to keep my composure, trying to grasp what he’s

just admitted. My mind goes blank, and then rushes in with a barrage of thoughts.

Confusion, hurt, and disbelief lead the charge.

“You’re… g ay, Adam? And you knew all this time?”

Adam nods slowly. I feel like I’m drowning. “You knew all this time, and yet you still put a ring on my

finger,” I murmur, shaking my head in disbelief. This has got to be some kind of sick dream. “Why did

you get together with me so quickly, then?”

After a moment of tense pause, Adam speaks. “I got together with you so quickly because…” He sighs,

his voice barely above a whisper. “…It made my family happy. It was a way to keep my secret buried

deep.”

lump forms in my throat. Tears well up, threatening to

to me, of all the people in

shaky breath, his gaze filled with remorse. “It wasn’t planned, Abby. When we met,

my family was suffocating. Being with you, it gave

moments… they all felt genuine. But

lie. A lie I

blinking away

“And I know it’s s hitty of me. I realize

telling myself that I could be

attracted to you, you made me laugh and smile and

thought that I could get over the other stuff

me happy.”

and it’s just the two of us in our bubble of truth and

as much as I want to rage at

understanding of the chains society can wrap around

expectations and norms.

so, so sorry, Abby. I’ve

deeply. But not in the way you should

romantic way you deserve.”

my hand into my eyes, trying to stem the tears. “Why didn’t you tell

evident in my voice. “Why let it go on for

own emotions. “Fear,” he chokes out. “I was afraid

the one person who made me feel

gravity of it all weighs on me. “So, all this time, every touch, every moment, was

“No, not a lie. Distorted,

you the kind of love

pang of sympathy. Here is a man, torn and

his place. But at my expense? The juxtaposition is

silence stretches between us. The distant sounds of people passing by on the street

away.

slide to the engagement ring on my finger. The cool

of a love that wasn’t truly mine. With tears blurring my vision, I

finality of the gesture not lost on

once treasured ring to Adam. He looks down,

same pain I feel.

and I

I whisper, pushing the ring towards him, my

belong to me anymore.”