Chasing His Kickass Luna Back by Jane Above Story

#Chapter 45: Bad Taste
Abby

“Adam… Are you cheating on me?”

The anticipation of what Adam is about to say feels like a giant pit in my stomach. He stares down at

his hands, his fingers worrying each other in the dim light of the bar.

“Abby,” his voice starts with a tremor, “I’m not cheating on you. I would never do something like that.

Not to anyone, and especially not to you.”

The sound of the soft jazz music I’ve got playing on the speakers almost seems to die down, replaced

by a poignant silence. I’m a little relieved, but not completely. In an odd way, I think that I almost wish

he was cheating on me. It would make things easier. But now, I think that it must only be an even more

complicated explanation, and whatever it is, I’m not sure if I’m ready for it.

“What is it, then?” I ask. Every fiber of my being is attuned to him, waiting.

Adam hesitates for a moment, raking a hand through his hair, a gesture I’ve come to associate with his

nervousness.

“I’m not into women.”

His words crash over me like a tidal wave. I struggle to keep my composure, trying to grasp what he’s

just admitted. My mind goes blank, and then rushes in with a barrage of thoughts.

Confusion, hurt, and disbelief lead the charge.

“You’re… g ay, Adam? And you knew all this time?”

Adam nods slowly. I feel like I’m drowning. “You knew all this time, and yet you still put a ring on my

finger,” I murmur, shaking my head in disbelief. This has got to be some kind of sick dream. “Why did

you get together with me so quickly, then?”

After a moment of tense pause, Adam speaks. “I got together with you so quickly because…” He sighs,

his voice barely above a whisper. “…It made my family happy. It was a way to keep my secret buried

deep.”

Tears well up, threatening to spill. “But why

to me, of all the

breath, his gaze filled with remorse. “It

The pressure from my family was suffocating. Being with you,

genuine. But as

lie I trapped myself

sick. “That’s not fair,” I mutter, blinking away the tears that threaten

“I know it’s not fair,” he murmurs. “And I know it’s s hitty of me. I realize that

I just kept telling myself that I could be

sexually attracted to you, you made me laugh and smile and you’re my

I thought that I could get over the other

me happy.”

two of us

rage at

understanding of the chains society can

expectations and norms.

words tumbling out. “I’m so, so sorry, Abby. I’ve been untruthful,

about you, deeply. But not in the way you should be cared

romantic way you deserve.”

of my hand into my eyes, trying to stem the tears. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

my voice. “Why let it go on for so long without so

“Fear,” he chokes out. “I was afraid of losing

the one person

of it all weighs on me. “So, all this time, every touch, every moment, was it all a

his head, quickly, “No, not a lie. Distorted, yes. But

you the

Here is a man, torn and twisted by societal

his place. But at my expense?

long, heavy silence stretches between us. The distant

away. I feel

fingers slide to the engagement ring on my finger. The cool metal feels

a love that wasn’t truly mine. With tears

finality of the gesture not lost

once treasured ring to Adam. He looks

same pain I feel.

c racks, and I can tell he’s struggling with

towards him, my

belong to me anymore.”