Chasing His Kickass Luna Back by Jane Above Story

#Chapter 45: Bad Taste
Abby

“Adam… Are you cheating on me?”

The anticipation of what Adam is about to say feels like a giant pit in my stomach. He stares down at

his hands, his fingers worrying each other in the dim light of the bar.

“Abby,” his voice starts with a tremor, “I’m not cheating on you. I would never do something like that.

Not to anyone, and especially not to you.”

The sound of the soft jazz music I’ve got playing on the speakers almost seems to die down, replaced

by a poignant silence. I’m a little relieved, but not completely. In an odd way, I think that I almost wish

he was cheating on me. It would make things easier. But now, I think that it must only be an even more

complicated explanation, and whatever it is, I’m not sure if I’m ready for it.

“What is it, then?” I ask. Every fiber of my being is attuned to him, waiting.

Adam hesitates for a moment, raking a hand through his hair, a gesture I’ve come to associate with his

nervousness.

“I’m not into women.”

His words crash over me like a tidal wave. I struggle to keep my composure, trying to grasp what he’s

just admitted. My mind goes blank, and then rushes in with a barrage of thoughts.

Confusion, hurt, and disbelief lead the charge.

“You’re… g ay, Adam? And you knew all this time?”

Adam nods slowly. I feel like I’m drowning. “You knew all this time, and yet you still put a ring on my

finger,” I murmur, shaking my head in disbelief. This has got to be some kind of sick dream. “Why did

you get together with me so quickly, then?”

After a moment of tense pause, Adam speaks. “I got together with you so quickly because…” He sighs,

his voice barely above a whisper. “…It made my family happy. It was a way to keep my secret buried

deep.”

Tears well up, threatening to spill. “But why me, Adam?” I

of all the people

gaze filled with remorse. “It wasn’t planned, Abby. When we met,

was suffocating. Being with you, it gave

But as things progressed, it became about

A lie I trapped myself

mutter, blinking away the tears that threaten to come. “You

deeply. “I know it’s not fair,” he murmurs. “And I know it’s s hitty of me. I

relationship, I just kept telling myself that I could be happy with

attracted to you, you made

I could get over the other stuff and just spend my life with

me happy.”

fades, and it’s just the two of us

and as much as I want to rage at him, I find myself

chains society can wrap

expectations and norms.

so sorry, Abby.

any of this. I care about you, deeply. But not in the way you should be cared for. Not in

romantic way you deserve.”

rub the heel of my hand into my eyes, trying to stem the tears. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

evident in my voice. “Why let it go on for so

my own emotions. “Fear,” he chokes out. “I was afraid of losing

losing the one person who made me feel

me. “So, all this time,

a lie. Distorted, yes. But I’ve cherished our moments, Abby.

I couldn’t offer you the

pang of sympathy. Here is a man, torn and twisted by societal

his place. But at my expense? The juxtaposition is

us. The distant sounds of people passing by

all sounds so far away. I feel like I’m

ring on my finger. The cool metal feels

truly mine. With tears blurring

finality of the gesture not lost

displaying the once treasured ring to Adam. He looks down, his

same pain I feel.

and I can tell he’s struggling

it,” I whisper, pushing the ring towards him, my tears now

belong to me anymore.”