Chasing His Kickass Luna Back by Jane Above Story

#Chapter 45: Bad Taste
Abby

“Adam… Are you cheating on me?”

The anticipation of what Adam is about to say feels like a giant pit in my stomach. He stares down at

his hands, his fingers worrying each other in the dim light of the bar.

“Abby,” his voice starts with a tremor, “I’m not cheating on you. I would never do something like that.

Not to anyone, and especially not to you.”

The sound of the soft jazz music I’ve got playing on the speakers almost seems to die down, replaced

by a poignant silence. I’m a little relieved, but not completely. In an odd way, I think that I almost wish

he was cheating on me. It would make things easier. But now, I think that it must only be an even more

complicated explanation, and whatever it is, I’m not sure if I’m ready for it.

“What is it, then?” I ask. Every fiber of my being is attuned to him, waiting.

Adam hesitates for a moment, raking a hand through his hair, a gesture I’ve come to associate with his

nervousness.

“I’m not into women.”

His words crash over me like a tidal wave. I struggle to keep my composure, trying to grasp what he’s

just admitted. My mind goes blank, and then rushes in with a barrage of thoughts.

Confusion, hurt, and disbelief lead the charge.

“You’re… g ay, Adam? And you knew all this time?”

Adam nods slowly. I feel like I’m drowning. “You knew all this time, and yet you still put a ring on my

finger,” I murmur, shaking my head in disbelief. This has got to be some kind of sick dream. “Why did

you get together with me so quickly, then?”

After a moment of tense pause, Adam speaks. “I got together with you so quickly because…” He sighs,

his voice barely above a whisper. “…It made my family happy. It was a way to keep my secret buried

deep.”

forms in my throat. Tears well up, threatening to spill. “But

you do this to me, of all the people

gaze filled with remorse. “It

my family was suffocating. Being with you, it gave me an

our moments… they all felt genuine. But as

A lie I trapped myself

blinking away

it’s not fair,” he murmurs. “And I know it’s s hitty of me. I realize that

relationship, I just kept telling myself that I could be happy with you.

attracted to you, you made me laugh and smile and you’re

thought that I could get over the other stuff and just spend my life with someone

me happy.”

bar around us fades, and it’s just the two of us in our bubble of

as much as I want to rage at him, I find

society can

expectations and norms.

out. “I’m so, so sorry, Abby. I’ve

of this. I care about you, deeply. But not in

romantic way you deserve.”

the heel of my hand into my eyes, trying to stem the

go

eyes are glistening, mirroring my own emotions. “Fear,” he chokes out. “I

the one person who made me

all weighs on me. “So, all this time, every

not a lie. Distorted,

offer you the

help but feel a pang of sympathy. Here is a man, torn and twisted by

place. But at my expense? The juxtaposition is

between us. The distant sounds

so far away. I feel like I’m

my fingers slide to the engagement ring on my finger. The cool

wasn’t truly mine. With tears

of the gesture not lost on

the once treasured ring to Adam. He looks down, his eyes

same pain I feel.

voice c racks, and I can tell he’s struggling with his

pushing the ring towards him,

belong to me anymore.”