Chasing His Kickass Luna Back by Jane Above Story

#Chapter 45: Bad Taste
Abby

“Adam… Are you cheating on me?”

The anticipation of what Adam is about to say feels like a giant pit in my stomach. He stares down at

his hands, his fingers worrying each other in the dim light of the bar.

“Abby,” his voice starts with a tremor, “I’m not cheating on you. I would never do something like that.

Not to anyone, and especially not to you.”

The sound of the soft jazz music I’ve got playing on the speakers almost seems to die down, replaced

by a poignant silence. I’m a little relieved, but not completely. In an odd way, I think that I almost wish

he was cheating on me. It would make things easier. But now, I think that it must only be an even more

complicated explanation, and whatever it is, I’m not sure if I’m ready for it.

“What is it, then?” I ask. Every fiber of my being is attuned to him, waiting.

Adam hesitates for a moment, raking a hand through his hair, a gesture I’ve come to associate with his

nervousness.

“I’m not into women.”

His words crash over me like a tidal wave. I struggle to keep my composure, trying to grasp what he’s

just admitted. My mind goes blank, and then rushes in with a barrage of thoughts.

Confusion, hurt, and disbelief lead the charge.

“You’re… g ay, Adam? And you knew all this time?”

Adam nods slowly. I feel like I’m drowning. “You knew all this time, and yet you still put a ring on my

finger,” I murmur, shaking my head in disbelief. This has got to be some kind of sick dream. “Why did

you get together with me so quickly, then?”

After a moment of tense pause, Adam speaks. “I got together with you so quickly because…” He sighs,

his voice barely above a whisper. “…It made my family happy. It was a way to keep my secret buried

deep.”

lump forms in my throat. Tears well up, threatening to spill. “But why me, Adam?”

do this to me, of all the

his gaze filled with remorse. “It wasn’t

was suffocating. Being with you, it gave me an escape.

all felt genuine. But

A lie

away the tears that threaten

“And

guess throughout our relationship, I just kept telling myself that I

wasn’t sexually attracted to you, you made me laugh and

other stuff and just spend my

me happy.”

around us fades, and it’s just the two of us in our bubble of truth

want to rage at him,

the chains society can wrap around someone, chaining them

expectations and norms.

so sorry, Abby. I’ve been untruthful,

of this. I care about you, deeply. But not in the way you should

romantic way you deserve.”

trying to stem the tears. “Why didn’t you tell me

my voice. “Why let it go on for so long without so

eyes are glistening, mirroring my own emotions. “Fear,” he chokes out. “I was

the one person who made

on me. “So, all this time, every

“No, not a lie. Distorted, yes. But I’ve cherished

I couldn’t offer you the kind of love

help but feel a pang of sympathy. Here is a man, torn and twisted

But at my expense?

between us. The distant sounds of people passing by on the street

but it all sounds so far away. I feel like I’m trapped in

my fingers slide to the engagement ring on my finger. The

truly mine. With tears blurring my vision, I

the gesture not

palm, displaying the once treasured ring to

same pain I feel.

I can

him, my tears now streaming down my face. “It

belong to me anymore.”