Chasing His Kickass Luna Back by Jane Above Story

#Chapter 45: Bad Taste
Abby

“Adam… Are you cheating on me?”

The anticipation of what Adam is about to say feels like a giant pit in my stomach. He stares down at

his hands, his fingers worrying each other in the dim light of the bar.

“Abby,” his voice starts with a tremor, “I’m not cheating on you. I would never do something like that.

Not to anyone, and especially not to you.”

The sound of the soft jazz music I’ve got playing on the speakers almost seems to die down, replaced

by a poignant silence. I’m a little relieved, but not completely. In an odd way, I think that I almost wish

he was cheating on me. It would make things easier. But now, I think that it must only be an even more

complicated explanation, and whatever it is, I’m not sure if I’m ready for it.

“What is it, then?” I ask. Every fiber of my being is attuned to him, waiting.

Adam hesitates for a moment, raking a hand through his hair, a gesture I’ve come to associate with his

nervousness.

“I’m not into women.”

His words crash over me like a tidal wave. I struggle to keep my composure, trying to grasp what he’s

just admitted. My mind goes blank, and then rushes in with a barrage of thoughts.

Confusion, hurt, and disbelief lead the charge.

“You’re… g ay, Adam? And you knew all this time?”

Adam nods slowly. I feel like I’m drowning. “You knew all this time, and yet you still put a ring on my

finger,” I murmur, shaking my head in disbelief. This has got to be some kind of sick dream. “Why did

you get together with me so quickly, then?”

After a moment of tense pause, Adam speaks. “I got together with you so quickly because…” He sighs,

his voice barely above a whisper. “…It made my family happy. It was a way to keep my secret buried

deep.”

in my throat. Tears well up, threatening to spill. “But why me,

me, of all the people in the

remorse. “It wasn’t planned, Abby. When we

from my family was suffocating. Being with you, it gave

all felt genuine. But

lie. A lie

away

“I know it’s not fair,” he murmurs. “And

our relationship, I just kept telling myself that I could

sexually attracted to you, you made me laugh and smile

that I could get over the other stuff and just spend my life with someone

me happy.”

and it’s just the two of us in

to rage at him,

chains society can wrap

expectations and norms.

tumbling out. “I’m so, so sorry, Abby. I’ve been untruthful, and

care about you, deeply. But not in the way you

romantic way you deserve.”

my eyes, trying

voice. “Why let it go

are glistening, mirroring my own emotions. “Fear,” he chokes out. “I was afraid of losing

the one person who

of it all weighs on me. “So, all this time, every touch, every moment, was it

shakes his head, quickly, “No, not a lie. Distorted, yes. But I’ve

the kind of love

of sympathy. Here is a man, torn and

place. But at

stretches between us. The distant sounds of people passing

far away. I feel

ring on

symbol of a love that wasn’t truly mine. With tears blurring

the gesture not lost

my palm, displaying the once treasured ring to Adam.

same pain I feel.

voice c racks, and I can tell he’s struggling with his

I whisper, pushing the ring towards him,

belong to me anymore.”