Chasing His Kickass Luna Back by Jane Above Story

#Chapter 45: Bad Taste
Abby

“Adam… Are you cheating on me?”

The anticipation of what Adam is about to say feels like a giant pit in my stomach. He stares down at

his hands, his fingers worrying each other in the dim light of the bar.

“Abby,” his voice starts with a tremor, “I’m not cheating on you. I would never do something like that.

Not to anyone, and especially not to you.”

The sound of the soft jazz music I’ve got playing on the speakers almost seems to die down, replaced

by a poignant silence. I’m a little relieved, but not completely. In an odd way, I think that I almost wish

he was cheating on me. It would make things easier. But now, I think that it must only be an even more

complicated explanation, and whatever it is, I’m not sure if I’m ready for it.

“What is it, then?” I ask. Every fiber of my being is attuned to him, waiting.

Adam hesitates for a moment, raking a hand through his hair, a gesture I’ve come to associate with his

nervousness.

“I’m not into women.”

His words crash over me like a tidal wave. I struggle to keep my composure, trying to grasp what he’s

just admitted. My mind goes blank, and then rushes in with a barrage of thoughts.

Confusion, hurt, and disbelief lead the charge.

“You’re… g ay, Adam? And you knew all this time?”

Adam nods slowly. I feel like I’m drowning. “You knew all this time, and yet you still put a ring on my

finger,” I murmur, shaking my head in disbelief. This has got to be some kind of sick dream. “Why did

you get together with me so quickly, then?”

After a moment of tense pause, Adam speaks. “I got together with you so quickly because…” He sighs,

his voice barely above a whisper. “…It made my family happy. It was a way to keep my secret buried

deep.”

up, threatening to spill. “But why me, Adam?” I croak out.

of all

his gaze filled with remorse. “It wasn’t planned, Abby. When

family was suffocating. Being

felt genuine. But as

lie

sick. “That’s not fair,” I mutter, blinking away the tears that

it’s not fair,” he murmurs. “And I know it’s s hitty

relationship, I just kept telling myself that I could be happy with you.

you, you made me laugh and

thought that I could get over the other stuff and just spend my life with someone

me happy.”

two of us in our bubble of

much as I want to rage at him, I find myself filled with

an understanding of the chains society can wrap around someone,

expectations and norms.

so sorry, Abby. I’ve

deeply. But not in

romantic way you deserve.”

into my eyes, trying to stem the tears. “Why didn’t

let it go

mirroring my own emotions. “Fear,”

the one person

it all weighs on me. “So, all this time, every touch, every moment, was

not a lie. Distorted, yes. But I’ve cherished our moments, Abby.

couldn’t offer you the kind of love

can’t help but feel a pang of sympathy. Here is a man, torn and twisted

his place. But at my expense? The

heavy silence stretches between us. The distant

away. I feel like I’m trapped in

engagement ring on

mine. With tears blurring my vision, I carefully slide the

gesture not

once treasured ring to Adam. He looks down,

same pain I feel.

I can

the ring towards him, my tears now

belong to me anymore.”