Chasing His Kickass Luna Back by Jane Above Story

#Chapter 45: Bad Taste
Abby

“Adam… Are you cheating on me?”

The anticipation of what Adam is about to say feels like a giant pit in my stomach. He stares down at

his hands, his fingers worrying each other in the dim light of the bar.

“Abby,” his voice starts with a tremor, “I’m not cheating on you. I would never do something like that.

Not to anyone, and especially not to you.”

The sound of the soft jazz music I’ve got playing on the speakers almost seems to die down, replaced

by a poignant silence. I’m a little relieved, but not completely. In an odd way, I think that I almost wish

he was cheating on me. It would make things easier. But now, I think that it must only be an even more

complicated explanation, and whatever it is, I’m not sure if I’m ready for it.

“What is it, then?” I ask. Every fiber of my being is attuned to him, waiting.

Adam hesitates for a moment, raking a hand through his hair, a gesture I’ve come to associate with his

nervousness.

“I’m not into women.”

His words crash over me like a tidal wave. I struggle to keep my composure, trying to grasp what he’s

just admitted. My mind goes blank, and then rushes in with a barrage of thoughts.

Confusion, hurt, and disbelief lead the charge.

“You’re… g ay, Adam? And you knew all this time?”

Adam nods slowly. I feel like I’m drowning. “You knew all this time, and yet you still put a ring on my

finger,” I murmur, shaking my head in disbelief. This has got to be some kind of sick dream. “Why did

you get together with me so quickly, then?”

After a moment of tense pause, Adam speaks. “I got together with you so quickly because…” He sighs,

his voice barely above a whisper. “…It made my family happy. It was a way to keep my secret buried

deep.”

Tears well up, threatening to spill.

me, of all the

with remorse.

was suffocating. Being with you, it gave

felt genuine. But as things progressed, it became about

lie. A lie I

blinking away the tears that

sighs deeply. “I know it’s not fair,” he murmurs. “And I know

our relationship, I just kept telling myself

you, you made me laugh and smile

could get over the other

me happy.”

around us fades, and it’s just the two of us in our bubble

to rage at him, I find myself filled with a strange

of the chains society can wrap

expectations and norms.

tumbling out. “I’m so, so sorry, Abby. I’ve been untruthful, and you

deeply. But not in the way you should be cared

romantic way you deserve.”

heel of my hand into my eyes, trying to

my voice. “Why let it go on for

glistening, mirroring my own emotions. “Fear,” he chokes

losing the one person

all weighs on me. “So, all this time, every

lie. Distorted, yes. But I’ve cherished our

you the kind of love you

of sympathy. Here is a man, torn and twisted by

at my expense? The

long, heavy silence stretches between us. The distant sounds of people passing by on the street

away. I feel like I’m trapped

fingers slide to the engagement ring on my finger. The cool metal

truly mine. With tears blurring my

finality of the gesture not

the once treasured ring to Adam. He looks down, his

same pain I feel.

racks, and I

him, my tears now streaming down my

belong to me anymore.”