Chasing His Kickass Luna Back by Jane Above Story

#Chapter 45: Bad Taste
Abby

“Adam… Are you cheating on me?”

The anticipation of what Adam is about to say feels like a giant pit in my stomach. He stares down at

his hands, his fingers worrying each other in the dim light of the bar.

“Abby,” his voice starts with a tremor, “I’m not cheating on you. I would never do something like that.

Not to anyone, and especially not to you.”

The sound of the soft jazz music I’ve got playing on the speakers almost seems to die down, replaced

by a poignant silence. I’m a little relieved, but not completely. In an odd way, I think that I almost wish

he was cheating on me. It would make things easier. But now, I think that it must only be an even more

complicated explanation, and whatever it is, I’m not sure if I’m ready for it.

“What is it, then?” I ask. Every fiber of my being is attuned to him, waiting.

Adam hesitates for a moment, raking a hand through his hair, a gesture I’ve come to associate with his

nervousness.

“I’m not into women.”

His words crash over me like a tidal wave. I struggle to keep my composure, trying to grasp what he’s

just admitted. My mind goes blank, and then rushes in with a barrage of thoughts.

Confusion, hurt, and disbelief lead the charge.

“You’re… g ay, Adam? And you knew all this time?”

Adam nods slowly. I feel like I’m drowning. “You knew all this time, and yet you still put a ring on my

finger,” I murmur, shaking my head in disbelief. This has got to be some kind of sick dream. “Why did

you get together with me so quickly, then?”

After a moment of tense pause, Adam speaks. “I got together with you so quickly because…” He sighs,

his voice barely above a whisper. “…It made my family happy. It was a way to keep my secret buried

deep.”

forms in my throat. Tears well up, threatening to spill. “But why me, Adam?”

to me, of all the people

gaze filled with remorse.

suffocating. Being with you, it gave me an

genuine. But as things progressed, it

lie. A lie I

feel sick. “That’s not fair,” I mutter, blinking away the tears that threaten to come. “You toyed

not fair,” he murmurs. “And I know it’s s

I guess throughout our relationship, I just kept telling myself that I could be

I wasn’t sexually attracted to you, you made me laugh and

get over the other stuff and just

me happy.”

bar around us fades, and it’s just the two of

as much as I want to rage at him, I find myself filled with a strange understanding.

chains society can wrap around someone, chaining

expectations and norms.

so, so sorry, Abby. I’ve been untruthful, and

any of this. I care about you, deeply. But not in the way

romantic way you deserve.”

my hand into my eyes, trying to stem the tears. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

go on for so long without so much

are glistening, mirroring my own emotions. “Fear,” he chokes out.

losing the one person

this time, every touch, every moment, was

a lie. Distorted,

I couldn’t offer you the kind of

of sympathy. Here is a man, torn and twisted by societal

at my expense? The

long, heavy silence stretches between us. The distant sounds of people passing by

far away. I feel

to the engagement ring

truly mine. With tears blurring my vision, I carefully slide

the gesture not lost on

treasured ring to Adam. He looks

same pain I feel.

voice c racks, and I

whisper, pushing the ring towards him, my tears now streaming

belong to me anymore.”