Chasing His Kickass Luna Back by Jane Above Story

#Chapter 45: Bad Taste
Abby

“Adam… Are you cheating on me?”

The anticipation of what Adam is about to say feels like a giant pit in my stomach. He stares down at

his hands, his fingers worrying each other in the dim light of the bar.

“Abby,” his voice starts with a tremor, “I’m not cheating on you. I would never do something like that.

Not to anyone, and especially not to you.”

The sound of the soft jazz music I’ve got playing on the speakers almost seems to die down, replaced

by a poignant silence. I’m a little relieved, but not completely. In an odd way, I think that I almost wish

he was cheating on me. It would make things easier. But now, I think that it must only be an even more

complicated explanation, and whatever it is, I’m not sure if I’m ready for it.

“What is it, then?” I ask. Every fiber of my being is attuned to him, waiting.

Adam hesitates for a moment, raking a hand through his hair, a gesture I’ve come to associate with his

nervousness.

“I’m not into women.”

His words crash over me like a tidal wave. I struggle to keep my composure, trying to grasp what he’s

just admitted. My mind goes blank, and then rushes in with a barrage of thoughts.

Confusion, hurt, and disbelief lead the charge.

“You’re… g ay, Adam? And you knew all this time?”

Adam nods slowly. I feel like I’m drowning. “You knew all this time, and yet you still put a ring on my

finger,” I murmur, shaking my head in disbelief. This has got to be some kind of sick dream. “Why did

you get together with me so quickly, then?”

After a moment of tense pause, Adam speaks. “I got together with you so quickly because…” He sighs,

his voice barely above a whisper. “…It made my family happy. It was a way to keep my secret buried

deep.”

my throat. Tears well up, threatening to spill. “But why

this to me, of

remorse. “It wasn’t planned, Abby. When we met, I

family was suffocating. Being with you, it gave me an

they all felt genuine. But as things progressed, it became

A lie

I mutter, blinking away the tears that

not fair,” he murmurs. “And I

just kept telling myself that

wasn’t sexually attracted to you, you

I could get over the other stuff and just spend

me happy.”

bar around us fades, and it’s just the two of us

want to rage at him, I find myself filled with a strange understanding.

understanding of the chains society

expectations and norms.

“I’m so, so sorry, Abby. I’ve been untruthful, and you

this. I care about you, deeply. But not in the way you should be cared for. Not in

romantic way you deserve.”

the heel of my hand into my eyes, trying to stem the tears. “Why didn’t

pain evident in my voice. “Why let it go on for so long without so much

glistening, mirroring my own emotions. “Fear,” he chokes out.

one person who

all this time, every touch, every

head, quickly, “No, not a lie. Distorted,

you the kind of love

sympathy. Here is

place. But at my expense? The juxtaposition is

heavy silence stretches between us. The distant sounds of people passing by on the

so far away. I feel like I’m trapped in

engagement ring on my finger. The cool metal

of a love that wasn’t truly mine. With tears blurring my vision, I

of the gesture not lost

my palm, displaying the once treasured ring to Adam. He looks down, his eyes

same pain I feel.

and I

the ring towards him, my

belong to me anymore.”