Chasing His Kickass Luna Back by Jane Above Story

#Chapter 45: Bad Taste
Abby

“Adam… Are you cheating on me?”

The anticipation of what Adam is about to say feels like a giant pit in my stomach. He stares down at

his hands, his fingers worrying each other in the dim light of the bar.

“Abby,” his voice starts with a tremor, “I’m not cheating on you. I would never do something like that.

Not to anyone, and especially not to you.”

The sound of the soft jazz music I’ve got playing on the speakers almost seems to die down, replaced

by a poignant silence. I’m a little relieved, but not completely. In an odd way, I think that I almost wish

he was cheating on me. It would make things easier. But now, I think that it must only be an even more

complicated explanation, and whatever it is, I’m not sure if I’m ready for it.

“What is it, then?” I ask. Every fiber of my being is attuned to him, waiting.

Adam hesitates for a moment, raking a hand through his hair, a gesture I’ve come to associate with his

nervousness.

“I’m not into women.”

His words crash over me like a tidal wave. I struggle to keep my composure, trying to grasp what he’s

just admitted. My mind goes blank, and then rushes in with a barrage of thoughts.

Confusion, hurt, and disbelief lead the charge.

“You’re… g ay, Adam? And you knew all this time?”

Adam nods slowly. I feel like I’m drowning. “You knew all this time, and yet you still put a ring on my

finger,” I murmur, shaking my head in disbelief. This has got to be some kind of sick dream. “Why did

you get together with me so quickly, then?”

After a moment of tense pause, Adam speaks. “I got together with you so quickly because…” He sighs,

his voice barely above a whisper. “…It made my family happy. It was a way to keep my secret buried

deep.”

my throat. Tears well up, threatening to spill. “But why me, Adam?” I croak out.

of

his gaze filled with remorse. “It wasn’t planned, Abby. When we

pressure from my family was suffocating. Being with

genuine. But as things

A lie I trapped myself

I mutter, blinking away the tears that threaten to

deeply. “I know it’s not fair,” he murmurs. “And I know it’s s hitty of me. I realize that

telling myself that

to you, you made me laugh and smile

I could get over the other stuff and just spend my life with someone who

me happy.”

just the two of us in our bubble of truth

much as I want to rage at him, I find myself filled

the chains society can wrap around someone,

expectations and norms.

tumbling out. “I’m so, so sorry, Abby. I’ve been

this. I care about you, deeply. But not in the way you should be

romantic way you deserve.”

into my eyes, trying to stem the tears. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

evident in my voice. “Why let it go

emotions. “Fear,” he chokes out. “I was

losing the one person who

gravity of it all weighs on me. “So, all this time, every touch, every moment,

his head, quickly, “No, not a lie. Distorted, yes. But I’ve cherished our moments,

couldn’t offer you the

can’t help but feel a pang of sympathy. Here is a man, torn and twisted by societal

at my expense? The juxtaposition

us. The distant sounds of people passing by on the

but it all sounds so far away. I feel like

the engagement ring on my finger.

of a love that wasn’t truly mine. With tears blurring my vision, I carefully slide

the gesture not lost on

once treasured ring to Adam. He looks down,

same pain I feel.

His voice c racks, and I can tell he’s struggling with

pushing the ring towards him, my tears now streaming down

belong to me anymore.”