Chapter 0199

Maybe it was because I knew I was going to suffer yet again, while I tried to strengthen my body, or Maybe it was the fact that I was turning 18 tomorrow and had none of my family with me.

The last five years haven't been all that great in regards to birthdays, but at least I had still woken up to my mom singing horrendously and Freddie giggling at my moms attempt. I'd wake up to a small stack of pancakes which was originally my dad's tradition, and my mom had saved two small birthday candles from the time before the new world, they were extremely worn down by now, but she still made every effort in trying to make it a good day for us both.

I smiled lightly at my memory, I could feel my eyes once again welling up slightly but knew if I allowed myself to cry again, I wouldn't be able to stop, and so I pushed my sorrow down and sighed as I trudged back to my RV, my temporary home.

However after genuinely getting a good nights sleep, and venting everything I was thinking and feeling to poor Lewis, I think maybe I was finally ready to accept my reality. There was just one more thing I needed to do before I could really force myself to get my head out of the past and move on.

two envelopes. One was the homemade birthday card Freddie had done for me, the other was the now

blood stained coat I was wearing when I arrived, and stashed it in this draw, where it had been ever since. I swapped the thick lump forming in my throat and grabbed it before once again leaving the camper

to the big lake, it's water had a calming effect on me which would really help. I knew though, that I couldn't read anything without having some support with me, I needed someone there next to

me that I could look for him whenever I wanted to, but I didn't want to use him, he was

to the medical area. Maybe being

however think he was playing on his injuries a bit, it was no secret that he had a huge crush on his

having second thoughts about reading my moms letter. I really would break if it turned out she was disappointed in me. I know no matter

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