Chapter 193 Memoires of happiness.

Alice

To feel Alexandra and my father around me, to know t that I was s

safe, and they came for me even in a strange country, made me love them more. But this love did not ease the pain of losing him. The picture of his pale face, how they bled him like an animal, how that man held his head, holding his hair to put the knife to his neck, how the first drops of blood appeared, haunted me. And I knew I would never forget that in my whole life. I knew these memories would be with me for a lifetime.

I thought of him, how handsome he was when I first saw him, when he took me into that shop to make me happy, when he fought against Gemma to make my life easier, when he first told me that he loves me.

The first time when I did not want to wait anymore and my so–called punishment ended up losing my virginity with him. When he came for me when I disappeared, when he followed me to the sport centre during my training because he loved me so much, when he was jealous because I was training with Lucas, when he asked me to marry him in Paris.

No, I was sure I would never get married in my life. Life? I could not imagine how I was supposed to live without him. I still felt the remorse at telling him I wanted to skate with Lucas, which meant I was continuing training. He died with the thought of Lucas was more important to me than him. I was going to continue neglecting him. If only I knew how short was the time we have got to spend together was, I would have never wasted a second. He was so patient and so encouraging during the whole time, and I pushed him away when he needed me. These thoughts, the regret, made me cry more.

I heard Riccardo made a few phone calls, but I didn’t listen at all. I was in my world where Gideon was alive, happily spending time with me. Imagining our life in my head made me think of something that I have never thought about yet. I never thought about giving birth to a baby. The only time when the topic came up was when I was ill of the food that Nora made. The way he mentioned me I could be pregnant made me assume he played with these thoughts already. Like he would have been happy to have a family. I wished I was pregnant. I could have a piece of him at least that I could love for the rest of my life.

tortured nerves gave up again. I fell asleep soon. Maybe I fainted,

how they killed him. Looking into his eyes

his arms. I looked around with a frown. We were in an unfamiliar car park. While he walked on with me, I realized we were at a hospital. I knew my head was bleeding, but it did not even hurt me. We should not be here, especially not because of me. The only thing I wanted was

me, and I knew I would have as me in vain to

we just go home, please? Back to your house.

will take you home if you will still want to leave from

around, hoping I could discover a sign which would

the A&E is here. Where

get into the best

While he carried me

paid to a doctor to check on me privately. Even if I did not want that, I did not want him to

was long. Too long. I wondered how big this hospital was, and for a moment I felt a little too young.

let him carry me all the way

to move, but he looked at me with a

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