Chapter 65

Chapter 65 KYLAN'S POV

In.

Out

I didn't matter how many fucking times Kylan tried; he couldn't calm his breathing. He couldn't quiet his racing mind. His fingers were flexing into repeated fats at his sides, his nails pressing hard to his inner palms each time his fists closed Stupid. He was so f*cking stupid

This was far from the first instance that Kylan had reacted poncle

d

poorly to a situation, but it might take the place of number one

Perhaps the worst part of it all was that he felt wholly out of control like he couldn't speak. Like he couldn't fix it. Like he didn't know how, Or rather, he didn't deserve to try.

And Pck, if Katrina didn't deserve to be treated better. To be cherished. To be loved. To be worshipped like the damn goddess Kylan knew her to

be

De

There had always been something special about her. Some innate part of her character that didn't entirely put Kylan off from talking to her, from having her work for him over the years she had been with Ross Corp. Her patience, her poise, her work ethic, all of it made it easy for Kylan to keep her on as his personal assistant.

She was a breath of fresh air, even if he never said as much to her. Even if he hadn't realized just how important or vital she was to him until only recently.

didn't want to soak all in. If he didn't want to out how to talk to her. To be with woo her.

But there was a barrier. A nearly visible stone fortress around his mind, his heart, prevented him from opening up to her. From talking to her. Really talking to her. Each time Katrina chipped at that armor, the armor he had relied on nearly his entire life, it only gained in strength and Layers

The monsters atop the fortress would then lean over the walls and all but toss Katrina of them as she was climbing, clawing, and trying to reach the

Any time she got too close. Kylan grew more afraid.

Any time he indulged himself in her just a little bit, he became more frantie, the monsters loading their cannons and preparing for a damn siege. just to keep him trapped

healthy. He knew it wasn't right or fair, to either of them. But he also didn't think

a fuck attitude and fancy cars and suits. Underneath it all, he was drowning in grief, in

his nightmares, had comforted his frantic body, had soothed his aching soul, and each time she did... Kylan hated himself more. He

his self-sabotaging behaviors. He hated it. But he was also grateful for it. He wished he could tell her as much, but it was too much.

All of it was

it was

deserve

he loathe

to hide. Easier to pretend. He had been doing it for so long after

fortress, to fire her own weapons against it, to ricochet her way through the outermost

did. She was never meant to make him feel, to make

65

was too much, that it wasn't worth it. That he didn't need to let anyone get too close and beyond the spikes, or the moat of angry alligators with their gnashing jaws Chapter The contract was meant to be so simple. So bulletproof. It was

fake mamage contract, and pay her for her forts. No big deal. Nothing that would cause Kylan to step too far out of his comfort zone. And yet, that's exactly what happened time and time again with Katrina. Somehow, she had made her way into his heart, into his mind. Somehow she kept seeing the parts of himself that were ugly. Damaged. The parts that he couldn't talk about. That he didn't know how to talk about. She knew

was a monster. That he was the

light in the darkness, the breeze on

give her. That he didn't know

war within himself, the battle between heart, mind, and what little of Kylan's soul remained, was the very

himself.

it happened in ways he didn't understand. He would react before he could blink. He would speak before he could

with memones, with the shadows and ghosts that haunted the halls of his mind, of his heart that loomed over

same three faces. The same three faces and

never would be. That people would always leave him, in one

would he

-0-0-0-

they were nothing. Like they meant

пе

He

or his personality to fit them. At the end of the day, he could make them a lot of money, and that's the only thing people like that cared about Kylan

to Ryan, though it was mostly because the older of the two was patient with Kylan. He never

questions, the passing glances, the feigned sad eyes. It was the main reason he moved in with Kenny in the first place so that he that he could I get t away from Rhode Island and one of his ghosts. Which was futile, of course. He could never

was never able to fully communicate with her, she seemed to know how to talk to him. How to calm him down, how to help him before he ever needed to guide her. She was patient with hins. She never talked back to him, even when he deserved it. She was professional

the ice has heart was in. All of it, all of

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