Chapter 65

Chapter 65 KYLAN'S POV

In.

Out

I didn't matter how many fucking times Kylan tried; he couldn't calm his breathing. He couldn't quiet his racing mind. His fingers were flexing into repeated fats at his sides, his nails pressing hard to his inner palms each time his fists closed Stupid. He was so f*cking stupid

This was far from the first instance that Kylan had reacted poncle

d

poorly to a situation, but it might take the place of number one

Perhaps the worst part of it all was that he felt wholly out of control like he couldn't speak. Like he couldn't fix it. Like he didn't know how, Or rather, he didn't deserve to try.

And Pck, if Katrina didn't deserve to be treated better. To be cherished. To be loved. To be worshipped like the damn goddess Kylan knew her to

be

De

There had always been something special about her. Some innate part of her character that didn't entirely put Kylan off from talking to her, from having her work for him over the years she had been with Ross Corp. Her patience, her poise, her work ethic, all of it made it easy for Kylan to keep her on as his personal assistant.

She was a breath of fresh air, even if he never said as much to her. Even if he hadn't realized just how important or vital she was to him until only recently.

didn't want to soak all in. If he didn't want to out how to talk to her. To be with woo her.

But there was a barrier. A nearly visible stone fortress around his mind, his heart, prevented him from opening up to her. From talking to her. Really talking to her. Each time Katrina chipped at that armor, the armor he had relied on nearly his entire life, it only gained in strength and Layers

The monsters atop the fortress would then lean over the walls and all but toss Katrina of them as she was climbing, clawing, and trying to reach the

Any time she got too close. Kylan grew more afraid.

Any time he indulged himself in her just a little bit, he became more frantie, the monsters loading their cannons and preparing for a damn siege. just to keep him trapped

this wasn't healthy. He knew it wasn't right or fair, to

broken, stained. fucked up piece of glass with a false exterior of a give a fuck attitude and fancy cars and suits. Underneath it all, he was drowning in grief, in pain, in self-loathing that no one was ever meant to bear

his frantic body, had soothed his aching soul, and each time she did... Kylan hated himself more. He hated that he couldn't be the person she needed him to be.

he was also grateful for it. He wished he could tell

All of it was

of it

deserve anything

special. And oh, did he loathe himself all the more for

Easier to pretend.

meant to touch the fortress, to fire her own weapons against it, to ricochet her way through the outermost layers in the

was never meant to

65

That he could never lose anyone again. That it was too much, that it wasn't worth it. That he didn't need to let anyone get too close and beyond the spikes, or the moat of angry alligators with their gnashing jaws Chapter The contract was meant to be so simple. So bulletproof. It was easy enough, writing the rules with every

they thought was best for the company. Because hell, it was. With the rising stocks, and the actual positivity Kylan was being sent for the first time ever as CEO, it was easy to believe the contract was the right thing to do. To put in place. He only needed to take Katrina on dates, pose for a few pictures, hold her hand, appear on the day of their fake wedding, sign that damn fake mamage contract,

he was a monster. That he was the last person she should give her love, her

the light in

her. That

heart, mind, and what little of Kylan's soul remained, was the

himself.

would react before he could blink. He would

the shadows and ghosts that haunted the halls of his mind, of his heart that loomed over him to beg him to throw her

faces. The same three faces and the same three voices saying the same thing to

it. That he never would be. That people

the f*ck would

-0-0-0-

they meant nothing. Because they didn't, not to

пе

He

years, with Ryan's guidance and counsel, he had learned how to hold his own with them. He had learned how to say the right things to do the right things, even if he never changed his voice or his personality to fit them. At the end of the day, he could make them a lot of money, and that's the

patient with Kylan. He never understood why, and he hated. to consider the disgusting notion that it was because

the main reason he moved in with Kenny in the first place so that he that he could I get t away from Rhode Island and

he ever needed to guide her. She was patient

she melted parts of the ice has heart was in. All of it, all of her broke him over and over aga All of her caused him to talk

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