Chapter 69

Chapter 69

"Do you have your safety plan in place. Kylan" James was still casual as he spoke, but Rylan knew him well enough to pick up on the slight edge. has voice.

Kylan scoffed and shook his head bitterly. "I don't

need a safe

a safety plan. James. I'll be fine this year, he snapped at him.

"You're never fine. At least have Ryan at the ready or even your new girlfriend," James suggested, the edge to his vo

voice growing stronger.

Kylan paused at the mention of Katrina. He didn't want to talk about her. Not while he was already struggling to maintain his mask of indifference. "You've read the news, then," he deadpanned "I follow you on your social media. Kylan," James replied with a raise of an eyebrow.

Kylan shrugged, picking up his cup by the rim and forcing a bit of the hot liquid down his throat. It was fine, he supposed. Good enough to drink. anyway. It's partly why they came to Ralph's every year, "How's that going, by the way! I didn't peg you as someone to ever want to date anyone else. The way he said it. It made Kylan feel cold. Far colder than December in New York could make him feel. "James, let's not. Kylan's voice was low. Low and guarded.

"Why not You're dating someone else. You're happy, are you not, Kylan! You're happy, and she's dead. I don't need to remind you why that's partly your fault" James' words didn't surprise Kylan, but they broke him all the same.

"If you came here only to talk to me like this, you can f*ck off I'm not interested in being blamed by you anymore. I already blame myself enough for the God damn both of us," Kylan practically growled, his hands tightening around his cup.

James took a shuddering breath, closing his eyes for a moment. When he opened them again, he seemed a bit calmer. A bit more in control. "You're right. Tim sorry. Kylan. I just. It's going to be nine years, you know? Nine years without her. Nine years without. F*ck. It's just almost ten, you know? Almost a whole decade Hs voice caught in his throat and Kylan frowned at him.

voice a

helped the last two years, you know? She has. But she's not. She can't be Yasmin. No one can be. Tears

to James, when he was running on zero sleep and

true. When James started dating someone else, he felt nothing but relief Relief and elation that he had allowed

He often wondered if Yasmin would want him to be happy, too. He figured he wouldn't.

again soon, you should make sure you have proper boots before trekking down Broadway,

you planning on going to her grave?" James asked softly,

jumped at the contact, gritting his teeth, and trying

once and then withdrew. "Seriously though, how are things with your girlfriend? She's gorgeous" He shifted the conversation and Kylan's frown deepened. "Probably F*cked that shit

that! She seems in love with you. You can tell just from the

I'm fcked up. James. A lot of the time, that shit controls my life. There was

asked him, leaning forward on the table

that. I can barely open up to the people in my life, let alone a damn

time for that shit. Kylan drank his remaining tea and sighed. "It's good to see you, James. You look like the happier one out of the two of us" He stood

2:59 PM

Chapter 69

Okay?" He sounded worried, far more worried than he deserved from James most of

car like a f*cking creep?" he asked, pulling out his car key.

his shoulder. "Be nice, brother. She respects

happy for you, James. Really. He looked away from

She would want you to be happy, too. She would want you to. To feel fulfilled." James' voice was quivering, and Kylan didn't need to look

simultaneously blamed him but also loved him. Kylan only loved James and hated himself. He hated that his relationship with James had been reduced to a once-a-year meeting

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