Chapter 69

Chapter 69

"Do you have your safety plan in place. Kylan" James was still casual as he spoke, but Rylan knew him well enough to pick up on the slight edge. has voice.

Kylan scoffed and shook his head bitterly. "I don't

need a safe

a safety plan. James. I'll be fine this year, he snapped at him.

"You're never fine. At least have Ryan at the ready or even your new girlfriend," James suggested, the edge to his vo

voice growing stronger.

Kylan paused at the mention of Katrina. He didn't want to talk about her. Not while he was already struggling to maintain his mask of indifference. "You've read the news, then," he deadpanned "I follow you on your social media. Kylan," James replied with a raise of an eyebrow.

Kylan shrugged, picking up his cup by the rim and forcing a bit of the hot liquid down his throat. It was fine, he supposed. Good enough to drink. anyway. It's partly why they came to Ralph's every year, "How's that going, by the way! I didn't peg you as someone to ever want to date anyone else. The way he said it. It made Kylan feel cold. Far colder than December in New York could make him feel. "James, let's not. Kylan's voice was low. Low and guarded.

"Why not You're dating someone else. You're happy, are you not, Kylan! You're happy, and she's dead. I don't need to remind you why that's partly your fault" James' words didn't surprise Kylan, but they broke him all the same.

"If you came here only to talk to me like this, you can f*ck off I'm not interested in being blamed by you anymore. I already blame myself enough for the God damn both of us," Kylan practically growled, his hands tightening around his cup.

James took a shuddering breath, closing his eyes for a moment. When he opened them again, he seemed a bit calmer. A bit more in control. "You're right. Tim sorry. Kylan. I just. It's going to be nine years, you know? Nine years without her. Nine years without. F*ck. It's just almost ten, you know? Almost a whole decade Hs voice caught in his throat and Kylan frowned at him.

voice a shadow of

the last two years, you know? She has. But she's not. She can't be Yasmin. No one can be. Tears pooled at the comers of his eyes and trickled out the next

James, when he was running on

true. When James started dating someone else, he felt nothing but relief Relief and elation

happy. He often wondered if Yasmin would want

uncomfortably. He was too hot now Way too hot. "It's supposed to snow again soon, you should make sure you have proper boots before trekking down Broadway, yeah" He could no longer meet James's gaze,

on going to her grave?" James asked softly, reaching our and placing a hand over one of

and trying not to

James squeezed his hand once and then withdrew. "Seriously though, how are things with your girlfriend? She's gorgeous" He shifted the conversation and Kylan's frown deepened. "Probably

You can tell just from the pictures you share. James shrugged and drank the rest of

James. A lot of the time, that shit controls my life. There

you still too proud to try therapy?" James asked him, leaning forward on

the people in my life, let alone a damn stranger," he grumbled. "Sometimes, it's easier to talk

us" He stood from his chair

2:59 PM

Chapter 69

worried, far more worried

him off. "Tania's waiting in the car like a f*cking creep?" he asked, pulling out

his eyes and shoved his shoulder. "Be nice, brother. She respects our privacy and she's also scared

twitched into a smirk despite himself. "I'm happy for you, James. Really. He looked away from him, unable to meet his gaze

You know uh.. She would want you to be happy, too. She would want you to. To feel fulfilled." James' voice was quivering, and Kylan didn't need to look at him to know that he was crying again. "Mmm. It was good to see you. Same time next year?" Kylan ignored the sentiment he shared with him, just like he always

James had been reduced to a once-a-year meeting to

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