Contractually Yours, Alpha by Giftemmy

Chapter One Hundred and Ninety Five

Lying here on the bed made me feel vulnerable before him, but I didn't trust myself to stand without getting dizzy. I stared up into those beautiful eyes-so beautiful that, for a moment, I wanted to forget everything that went wrong and just hold him close... No,

I shove the thought away.

"It didn't look that way to me. You told me that you've found a new life, one I wasn't part of-it seemed to me that you'd meant exactly what you said."

"I thought I could start over-I wanted to leave it all behind. But I couldn't. Not because of the pack but because of you. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't let you go."

"And those women?" I asked, unable to keep the jealousy from my tone.

"I thought using them would help me get over you. But it didn't."

"It hurts knowing you were with others. I know we weren't mated anymore, but I just thought..." My voice faltered. I exhaled sharply, shaking my head. "I can't do this right now. Just leave."

"Not this time. I'm not leaving this time, Kaida."

My eyes met his. "I blame you Alexander. I blame you for Aric's death. If you had arrived sooner, he wouldn't have died. He died saving my life-I should have been the one dead."

Of course, I knew how much he wanted Aric dead, and perhaps this was an added bonus for him, but Aric was a good person, and he didn't deserve to die

that way.

still been alive if

why didn't you? Did you need one last taste of your new life' before

should feel guilty. I still remembered how indifferent he had been when I told him I had almost

you left, something happened. That's when I realized my wolf was back-but what I didn't expect was to be stuck in my wolf form. For days, I knew there was something I had to do, somewhere I

is back? How is that... How

don't know either. But with my father, I figured it was because he was a Lycan. This? No

happy for him; with his wolf back, he was

back." I said realization finally dawning on me. "You'd never have come back without your wolf, would you?"

you were the only one on my mind. Leaving you and

sorry." I finally

have nothing to be sorry for; I, on

to live while he dies. I am not any better than him; why do I

like he was

1/2

One Hundred

cry. That sound... it broke me." His voice dipped lower. "I'll never forgive myself for leaving you, and I won't ask you to. But don't push me away. I know I don't deserve you-but

if I had taken your advice and, like any 'big