Contractually Yours, Alpha by Giftemmy

Chapter One Hundred and Ninety Five

Lying here on the bed made me feel vulnerable before him, but I didn't trust myself to stand without getting dizzy. I stared up into those beautiful eyes-so beautiful that, for a moment, I wanted to forget everything that went wrong and just hold him close... No,

I shove the thought away.

"It didn't look that way to me. You told me that you've found a new life, one I wasn't part of-it seemed to me that you'd meant exactly what you said."

"I thought I could start over-I wanted to leave it all behind. But I couldn't. Not because of the pack but because of you. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't let you go."

"And those women?" I asked, unable to keep the jealousy from my tone.

"I thought using them would help me get over you. But it didn't."

"It hurts knowing you were with others. I know we weren't mated anymore, but I just thought..." My voice faltered. I exhaled sharply, shaking my head. "I can't do this right now. Just leave."

"Not this time. I'm not leaving this time, Kaida."

My eyes met his. "I blame you Alexander. I blame you for Aric's death. If you had arrived sooner, he wouldn't have died. He died saving my life-I should have been the one dead."

Of course, I knew how much he wanted Aric dead, and perhaps this was an added bonus for him, but Aric was a good person, and he didn't deserve to die

that way.

have still been alive if

one last

feel guilty. I still remembered

wolf was back-but what I didn't expect was to be stuck in my wolf form. For days, I knew there was something I had to do, somewhere I needed to be, but

is

it was because he was a Lycan. This? No

was happy for him; with his wolf back, he was complete

finally dawning on me. "You'd never have come back without your wolf, would

you were the only one on my mind. Leaving you and this pack was a cowardly

I finally

to be sorry for; I, on the other

I just... I feel unworthy, like I don't deserve to live while he dies. I am not any better

tightened, like he was envisioning

1/2

One Hundred

I heard your cry. That sound... it broke me." His voice dipped lower. "I'll never forgive myself for leaving you, and I won't ask you to. But don't push me away. I know I don't deserve you-but that doesn't stop me

advice and, like any 'big girl' would, moved on?" I threw his own