Contractually Yours, Alpha by Giftemmy

Chapter One Hundred and Ninety Five

Lying here on the bed made me feel vulnerable before him, but I didn't trust myself to stand without getting dizzy. I stared up into those beautiful eyes-so beautiful that, for a moment, I wanted to forget everything that went wrong and just hold him close... No,

I shove the thought away.

"It didn't look that way to me. You told me that you've found a new life, one I wasn't part of-it seemed to me that you'd meant exactly what you said."

"I thought I could start over-I wanted to leave it all behind. But I couldn't. Not because of the pack but because of you. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't let you go."

"And those women?" I asked, unable to keep the jealousy from my tone.

"I thought using them would help me get over you. But it didn't."

"It hurts knowing you were with others. I know we weren't mated anymore, but I just thought..." My voice faltered. I exhaled sharply, shaking my head. "I can't do this right now. Just leave."

"Not this time. I'm not leaving this time, Kaida."

My eyes met his. "I blame you Alexander. I blame you for Aric's death. If you had arrived sooner, he wouldn't have died. He died saving my life-I should have been the one dead."

Of course, I knew how much he wanted Aric dead, and perhaps this was an added bonus for him, but Aric was a good person, and he didn't deserve to die

that way.

would have still

why didn't you? Did you need one last taste of your

a few seconds, guilt written all over his face. Good. He should feel guilty. I still remembered how

stuck in my wolf form. For days, I knew there was something I had

is

father, I figured it was because he

for him; with his wolf back, he

you came back." I said realization finally dawning on me. "You'd never have come back without your wolf,

you were the only one on my mind. Leaving you and this pack

sorry." I finally

sorry for; I,

I do. Aric's death wasn't your fault. I just... I feel unworthy, like I don't deserve to live while he dies. I am not any better than him; why do I get

he was envisioning it

1/2

One Hundred and Ninety

never forgive myself for leaving you, and I won't ask you to. But don't push me away.

I had taken your advice and, like any 'big girl' would, moved on?" I threw his own words back at