Contractually Yours, Alpha by Giftemmy

Chapter One Hundred and Ninety Five

Lying here on the bed made me feel vulnerable before him, but I didn't trust myself to stand without getting dizzy. I stared up into those beautiful eyes-so beautiful that, for a moment, I wanted to forget everything that went wrong and just hold him close... No,

I shove the thought away.

"It didn't look that way to me. You told me that you've found a new life, one I wasn't part of-it seemed to me that you'd meant exactly what you said."

"I thought I could start over-I wanted to leave it all behind. But I couldn't. Not because of the pack but because of you. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't let you go."

"And those women?" I asked, unable to keep the jealousy from my tone.

"I thought using them would help me get over you. But it didn't."

"It hurts knowing you were with others. I know we weren't mated anymore, but I just thought..." My voice faltered. I exhaled sharply, shaking my head. "I can't do this right now. Just leave."

"Not this time. I'm not leaving this time, Kaida."

My eyes met his. "I blame you Alexander. I blame you for Aric's death. If you had arrived sooner, he wouldn't have died. He died saving my life-I should have been the one dead."

Of course, I knew how much he wanted Aric dead, and perhaps this was an added bonus for him, but Aric was a good person, and he didn't deserve to die

that way.

would have still been alive if I'd come

need one last taste of your new life'

guilty. I still remembered how indifferent he

I didn't expect was to be stuck in my wolf form. For days, I knew there was something I had to do, somewhere I needed to be, but my wolf was

back? How is that... How

I figured it was because he was a Lycan. This?

him; with his wolf back, he was complete

dawning on me. "You'd never have come back without your wolf, would you?" I

Leaving you and this

sorry." I finally

have nothing to be sorry for; I, on the other hand, keep messing things

live while he dies. I am not any better than him; why do I get to live and he has to die in

expression tightened, like he was envisioning

1/2

Hundred and

me." His voice dipped lower. "I'll never forgive myself for leaving you, and I won't ask you to. But don't push me away. I know I don't deserve you-but that doesn't stop me from wanting

advice and, like any 'big girl'