Dear ex-Wife please be mine again

Chapter 126

Alexander POV.

Watching Christiana walk away shattered something inside me, and the sound of the bathroom door closing felt like a final, painful echo of everything I’d destroyed. My chest tightened as her sobs filtered through the walls, the quiet agony of each one tearing into me. I ran a hand over my face, dragging it down slowly as I cursed myself under my breath.

“Why did you bring it up again?” I muttered, pacing the room as guilt twisted in my stomach. “God, you’ve already apologized a hundred times. Why couldn’t you just let it go?”

I sat down heavily on the edge of the bed, running a hand through my hair. I’d wanted to make things right, to give her the honesty she deserved. But the moment I saw her face fall, watched the old pain fill her eyes, I knew I’d only made things. worse. Even now, I could still see that look, the quiet devastation, the way her shoulders had slumped just a little as if the weight of those memories was too much to bear.

I clenched my fists, staring down at the floor. “You idiot,” I whispered harshly. “You had her back, and now…” My jaw tightened, shame flooding me as I thought of all the nights she must have cried herself to sleep, alone, while I was… God, I’d been so blind.

Since we came here, she’d never spoken about those years, never once thrown my mistakes back in my face, like she used to at other times. Christiana was so strong, stronger than anyone I’d ever known. But that only made it worse. Knowing she’d endured all of that without me while I lived in my own delusions.

I could hear the soft, broken sobs coming from the other side of the door, and it made me hate myself even more. I felt my throat tighten, raw with the things I couldn’t take back, the regrets that would forever scar what we had now.

I stood, stepping toward the bathroom door, my hand hovering over it, wanting so desperately to open it, to reach out to her. “Christiana…” My voice came out as a whisper, barely loud even to myself. I knew she didn’t want me near her right now. She’d made that clear. But I couldn’t just leave it like this.

I leaned my forehead against the door, closing my eyes as the memories of my own failures taunted me. How many times had she begged me back then, pleaded with me to listen, to see the truth? And how many times had I turned my back on her, convinced she was somehow the problem? I felt my jaw clench, my hands balling into fists as anger, no, self–loathing…boiled up inside me.

“Christiana,” I said, a bit louder this time, knowing she likely didn’t want to hear it. “I… I know you need space, but please… please know I’m sorry. I’d give anything to erase it all if I could.”

I leaned back, letting out a shaky breath, frustration and regret choking me as I ran a hand through my hair again. This wasn’t the first time I’d apologized, hell, I’d spent every day since she’d let me back in her life trying to prove how sorry I was. But it never felt like enough. I’d betrayed her, humiliated her, and left her when she needed me most. And now… now I was lucky enough to have her by my side again, and I was doing everything in my power to mess it up.

I paced back across the room, my mind clouded with memories of the past. The image of her being pregnant, working those late nights at that damn restaurant, waiting tables to make ends meet… It haunted me. I’d been so lost, so wrapped up in my own arrogance, that I hadn’t even realized what she was going through.

My voice cracked as I muttered to myself, “You don’t deserve her. Not after everything you put her through.”

survived. She’d fought through every

chest. “Christiana… I know I can’t take back what I did. But I swear… I swear to

I wanted so badly to hold her, to tell her that I loved her, that I was sorry. But I knew better. This was a wound she needed to feel, needed to

I forced myself to turn away. “Give her space, Alex,” I muttered under my breath, my hands clenching at my sides. I had to respect her need for distance, no matter how much it

back on the bed, the guilt weighed heavier than

C

Chapter 126

Even if it took the rest

tell me what to do next. My fingers were clenched so tightly my knuckles were white, a thin thread of pain grounding me while my mind spun through every shameful memory, every careless decision that had led to this moment. How could I have been so blind? How could I have looked into Christiana’s eyes, back then, and not seen the

in my hands. The memories of Bianca were a bitter pill that I couldn’t swallow. The days and nights I’d spent with her, so smugly sure that I was in control, that I knew what I wanted… I wanted to laugh at myself, but the shame was too thick, too raw. And I remembered

bit down on my lip, hard enough to taste blood. The cruelty of my own words echoed in my head, sharper than ever. I’d taken the very thing she’d yearned for, something she’d wanted so badly, and used it against her, like a weapon. I’d twisted the knife and walked away, leaving her

I’d robbed her of when I chose someone

face pale but composed. Her eyes were red–rimmed, and

a hand out toward her, but she shook

for a little while.” Her voice cracked slightly, and I could see the tremor in her hands, the faint struggle to keep her composure. “I just need time to… to process. To

though I wanted to reach for her, to pull her close

“Take all the time you need, Christiana. I’ll… I’ll be here when you’re

nod, her gaze staying on me for a moment longer before she turned and walked to the far side of the room, sinking down onto the couch, her posture

back onto the edge of the bed, the distance between us feeling like a chasm, one I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to bridge. I wanted to speak, to say something, anything that would

so selfish, so utterly blind to the depth of Christiana’s pain. All those years she’d spent alone, all the sacrifices she’d made for our children, while

her expression unreadable, of exhaustion and something deeper, something I didn’t dare to name. When

it go,” she said, her gaze distant. “I tried to forgive, to move past

to make her understand how sorry I was, to let her see that I would do anything…anything…to