ALEX
I glance at her. She's staring out the window again, her voice light like she's
making a joke, but she's not smiling. Which means she's seriously thinking this through.
She just looks... tired. Fragile. Far away. I bet she doesn't even realize what she's said.
But I do.
My hands tighten around the wheel.
My throat dries out, and for a moment, I forget how to breathe.
She thinks I'm him.
She thinks I'm that fucker Zayan.
Just what has he been doing that has made her want to be with him. Even my stupid cousin doesn't come this close.
Is that why she allowed me to hug her?
I want to say something, correct her. But the words get lodged in my throat like glass shards.
If I tell her the truth right now, if I remind her of who I am. Won't that bring back everything she just went through... would I be helping her or hurting her more?
Thinking this whole thing through, I decide it's best to stay silent as I continue to drive.
But as the silence stretches, the pain sharpens, like a blade twisting slowly in my chest.
They say breaking bones is the worst kind of pain.
They're wrong.
They've clearly never heard the woman they love whisper another man's name in her most vulnerable moment.
Love.
Is this what it feels like?
A burning feeling which squeezes your heart so tight, it feels like you'll never breathe right again.
I grit my teeth and keep my eyes on the road, like that'll stop the storm inside me.
She shifts beside me, tugging the blanket higher. I should say something. Anything. But all that comes out is silence.
I wish I could hate Zayan right now. I wish I could blame this on him completely.
But a part of me knows he was there when I wasn't. He stood by her when I pushed her away.
Still, that name coming from her lips...
It's a fucking stab to my heart.
I've never been so fucking jealous of anyone like I am of him right now.
head back
coming to get
open my mouth, the
has left holding her
now, she needs
Not confusion.
Not pain.
Not me.
the
do
pain of her thinking
the neon lights until I reach the little takeout place she always ordered
shocked I rembered it
favorite place. I remember how irritated I used to be when she asked
funny thing about
do anything to have
stupidly spicy soup that makes her nose run but somehow comforts
engine still running and the heat on low. She's curled
beautiful it
I rush into the boutique next door and
quick shop done in less than ten
food
filling the car.
slightly when I set it on the
doesn't wake
start the engine and drive to
we reach the
the bag of food in one hand
apartment key card and lift her in my
we are in, I place her gently
a quick hot bath since
you?" She
my voice leveled even though jealousy
smile,
Good girl.
me get your
bathroom and run the taps, while adjusting the temperature just how she likes
stuff she keeps under
smell fills the air almost
do all this, I realize I know so much about
like my heart
now just
out, she's sitting cross-legged, hugging a
bath's ready," I
at me, her cheeks
"Thanks...."
as she walks past, I almost
already bathed you before. No need
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