ALEX
I glance at her. She's staring out the window again, her voice light like she's
making a joke, but she's not smiling. Which means she's seriously thinking this through.
She just looks... tired. Fragile. Far away. I bet she doesn't even realize what she's said.
But I do.
My hands tighten around the wheel.
My throat dries out, and for a moment, I forget how to breathe.
She thinks I'm him.
She thinks I'm that fucker Zayan.
Just what has he been doing that has made her want to be with him. Even my stupid cousin doesn't come this close.
Is that why she allowed me to hug her?
I want to say something, correct her. But the words get lodged in my throat like glass shards.
If I tell her the truth right now, if I remind her of who I am. Won't that bring back everything she just went through... would I be helping her or hurting her more?
Thinking this whole thing through, I decide it's best to stay silent as I continue to drive.
But as the silence stretches, the pain sharpens, like a blade twisting slowly in my chest.
They say breaking bones is the worst kind of pain.
They're wrong.
They've clearly never heard the woman they love whisper another man's name in her most vulnerable moment.
Love.
Is this what it feels like?
A burning feeling which squeezes your heart so tight, it feels like you'll never breathe right again.
I grit my teeth and keep my eyes on the road, like that'll stop the storm inside me.
She shifts beside me, tugging the blanket higher. I should say something. Anything. But all that comes out is silence.
I wish I could hate Zayan right now. I wish I could blame this on him completely.
But a part of me knows he was there when I wasn't. He stood by her when I pushed her away.
Still, that name coming from her lips...
It's a fucking stab to my heart.
I've never been so fucking jealous of anyone like I am of him right now.
leans her head
coming to get
mouth, the truth will come
left holding her
now, she needs
Not confusion.
Not pain.
Not me.
I grip the wheel
I'd do
the pain of her thinking I'm someone
past the neon lights until I
rembered it
used to be when she asked me to pass through here
funny thing
then, but I'd do anything to have
best dumplings and that stupidly spicy soup that makes her nose run but somehow comforts
on low. She's curled up under the
looks so beautiful it hurts to not
boutique next door and buy some warm clothes for me and
quick shop done in less
car with the food still warm in its
filling the car.
set it on
she doesn't
engine and drive
reach the underground packing
in
her bag for the apartment key card
I place her gently on the couch before shaking
"You need to take a quick hot bath since you were in the rain for too
you?"
to bathe with me?" I ask her, keeping my voice leveled
Of course not." She says and I smile, releasing the
Good girl.
get your water
and run the taps, while adjusting the temperature just how she likes it,
even remember the lavender stuff she keeps
fills the
do all this, I realize
my heart has
is now just
she's sitting cross-legged, hugging a
bath's ready," I
at me,
"Thanks...."
she walks past, I almost say
you before. No need to
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