Dear Ex Wife Please take me back by The Every Woman

ALEX

Growing up, I always thought emotions were overrated and a pain in the ass. I would never understand people who made decisions because they were happy or sad or in love.

I hated it, so I made sure I never felt it. I had things I could tolerate, but like is a word far-fetched. Only my granny could melt down the walls even though my mother couldn't.

It used to take effort though now I'm shocked that Athena breaks down every fucking wall I've built just by existing. She and this woman I'm holding onto are who taught me that loving was okay and emotions didn't make us weak, they made us human.

"I'm so glad I got to see you fine one last time my precious boy. Now I'll be able to rest in peace." My nana's wrinkled hands hold mine.

"Don't let Noah hear that, he will throw a fit. Sloane too." I try to lighten the mood.

She gives me a weak smile,

"That brat has changed. He told me your father talked some sense into him and I'm glad. What happened to John was my fault. I should have seen it earlier. I killed my own son. I don't know how I'll be able to face your grandfather when I failed him."

Her voice is thin, like a thread unraveling, barely holding together. I clutch her hand tighter, trying to will life into her. Into us.

"Nana, don't say that," I whisper hoarsely, my throat burning. "You were the best. He made his choice, that's on him."

She gives me a weak laugh.

"No my dear. It's on me. So learn from my mistake. I know you and Athena will have more kids, make sure you're attentive to each one or else you'll lose them slowly."

I open my mouth to argue, to tell her she's wrong, that she's not to blame. But how do you convince someone who's carried the weight of regret for decades?

Who's lived through the pain of seeing her son ruin everything and become a devil who stooped so low that he put his own daughter up to be a sex worker? You don't.

But we all know it wasn't her fault. Nothing can excuse that man's decisions and if dad hadn't dealt with him, I would have. In the most cruel way.

Pushing my dark thoughts aside, I hold her hand tighter.

Her breathing is labored now, her chest rising in small, effortful lifts. Her skin, which was once always warm and soft like fresh bread, is growing colder beneath my touch.

have to

moment, like the clouds parting for one final glimpse

stubbornness. In your love

my throat threatens

rasp. "Let them love you, Alex. You spend your whole life protecting others, but you-" her eyes glisten, "-you never let yourself be protected. That has been the reason why I had a soft spot

She smiles.

when I scraped my knees as a boy, or when she caught me sneaking cookies

grow into a man I'm proud of.

My voice cracks. I don't even recognize

everything. They fall silently, shamefully, because I've never cried, not once in my adult life. Not when I bled. Not when I lost everything. Not when I buried men I called

Never.

But now?

Now I can't stop.

QU

painful effort, the oxygen mask rattling softly beside the

glassy, is unable to speak. Her miracle drug

more money than most could dream

I feel powerless.

power? I want to meet them so I can smash their skull for giving me

buy her more time. I can't fucking bribe death and sure as hell can't build a wall around her soul and keep it from slipping

in my

scared," I whisper before I even realize it. My forehead drops against our joined

God, I'm terrified.

have to be," she murmurs, barely audible. "You've always been brave. Even

behind my

always protected everyone." s

tightens so hard I think my ribs

name. Raised me when no one else would. She was