Remembering back now, Leonel could understand why James had reacted that way. When he spoke his truth, saying that James was his closest friend, remembering the details of how it had happened now hit him like a ton of bricks.

His voice had been so cold… So detached… So emotionless… It was as though he had said it all perfunctorily, as though he was shaking his head toward a child that had disappointed him rather than been heartbroken at the betrayal of a friend.

By that point, he had already disassociated, ripping that part of himself out and ignoring it like he always had. Even when he knew that James had betrayed them during the biggest game of the year, Leonel hadn't said a word, just silently finding a method to win anyway… Just like he always did.

He didn't approach James, he didn't ask him what was wrong, he just did things as he pleased, finding a solution that could 'please' everyone. James got to appease whoever had commanded him to lose by making it obvious he had done his best, and Leonel got what he wanted: another victory.

When the two met in the locker room, Leonel could remember how livid James had been.

"… You knew you get the unnecessary roughness call, right?"

"I know you too well. You don't like to lose, but you're too soft-hearted to call me out on my bullshit too. So you'd find a way to protect our friendship and ignore it, all while winning the big game anyway. Am I right?"

"If you knew I needed your help, why couldn't you lose this one time?! This is just a game, isn't it?! You've already won it three times, did you really need to win a fourth?! You don't even want to be a quarterback!"

rung in Leonel's head, even down to James eventually apologizing. At least then Leonel had still been able to lace his words with some sort of emotion, some sort of understanding and sympathy. But, afterward…

his body beaten and tired, an entire Fortress of enemies eagerly waiting to take his head… Leonel hadn't

had been confused by James' words. He even remembered thinking them to be a jumbled mess of nonsense. He had even somewhat arrogantly thought that this was just another case of James not being quite eloquent

Even

fucking

had even left James as white as a sheet and as silent as a mouse. But, in his ears now, those words seemed to

he arrogantly proclaimed that his so-called best friend wasn't very good

and James could be said to be the very reason he didn't become the sort of person who could treat human lives like weeds. And yet… in order to come to that conclusion to begin with… hadn't he needed to assign some value to James? Didn't he need to mark him down as someone worthy or unworthy? Make

it was sick… As though Leonel thought of James like a little pet project of his, a poor little boy who no

While everyone else only saw Leonel for what he showed

above even the safety of Leonel's life. Maybe he had told himself that he would be able to use his influence over his father to ensure that Leonel would live even after being caught. But, that would

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