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58 Taking My Life Back

58 Taking My Life Back (Jayden)

My brain can't handle all of this. The revelations hit me like a freight train, shattering my composure and ripping through the thin veneer of control I thought I had.

I just don't want to think about the emotional and mental abuse I copped from the man I thought was my father.

He always acted like he hated me. Every scornful glance, every harsh word, a bitter confirmation of how he despised me. I never got it back then. Now it's all clear, the pieces fall into place in a sickening puzzle.

Why would Mother keep us there like that? Greg was nothing short of cruel to her at times. The memory "of his rage, his unrelenting criticism, sears through me. I often thought he hated her as well. I wonder why they ever got married if there was no love. I pace the room, my hands clenched into fists, nails biting into my palms. I'm confused and angry, a tempest of emotions swirling inside me. If this Gus thinks he is going to be welcomed with open arms as my father, he has another thing coming. All my dysfunctional family ever made me want was a normal, loving family life. A life that seemed like a distant dream, something I could only watch from afar. Like I saw other kids had. Parents showing up at sports days, and performance days. Parents who high-fived the losses for trying anyway. My mind drifts back to those school events, where I stood on the sidelines, pretending not to care. Not parents who constantly added more pressure because nothing was ever good enough. "I know Mother loves me. Despite everything, that much is clear. That's been her only motivation since the day I was born. But all I wanted and needed was a hug without her using that hug as emotional leverage.

I just wanted a mom and a dad who let me fail and it was okay. My throat tightens, and I swallow hard, pushing down the lump of resentment.

I realize I need to take control of my own life again. I can't have someone else calling the shots in my life. I used to call my own shots. I know that. I wanted Winona, so I married Winona.

whisper, now screams in my

the woman I loved at risk, that is not someone I want as a a mother.

Brennan? The thought

about that. We'd both been better off without him. I never shed a tear, that's for

runs down my spine. Am I keeping something buried deep inside like Gus

Maybe there's a lot i don't

My Life

of half-formed memories and lingering

my second child. Mind blown! I can't trust Ashlyn now. Deep inside, I know she probably took advantage of Lance to try and get pregnant as a back-up plan. But

I'm not sure what Gus would have to gain from lying about this, but if he has that much power and

only person I'm trusting from now on is myself.

hate the silence. I walk into my living room and flick on the television. I'm hit immediately by the news and guess

the screen, and a surge of anger courses through me. He's the last person I want to

throat. I turn up the volume, Great. That's all I

engulfed

Like Hell it is.

says the board has lost all

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