My CEO 220

220 A Father's Touch (Jayden)

"But what about Ashlyn? What happens now?" I ask because as much as my baby has life, this also means hers will likely end. I can't just ignore that.

"She'll be well cared for post-op and taken back to her room. The same as any patient. You'll get time to say goodbye if that's what's needed."

I sigh in relief. "I want Ashlyn taken to the Brennan Wing. No arguments. Her mother is due this afternoon. Please make sure she has everything she needs in there with her daughter." "Of course, Mr. Brennan."

The trip to the neonatal ward is a blur. The tiny form of my son, wrapped in a small, sterile blanket, is surrounded by the best medical equipment and minds available.

The doctors and nurses work quickly, their hands deft and sure, ensuring that every moment counts.

The billions in my bank don't count for anything right now. Because sometimes the best medical care you can buy still isn't enough.

Winona is beside me as we follow along with the small incubator that holds my son, our son. The reality of what just happened is still sinking in. My son-my tiny, fragile son-is alive. Barely, but he's here.

I love him madly already. I mean, it's incredible really. The feelings that fill me now are more intense than anything I've ever felt. It's a different kind of love.

aware I don't want him to have the life I've had growing

laughter, fun

okay to make mistakes and not

murmur of voices greet us. It's a place where every miniscule breath is fought for, where every tiny heartbeat

lump form in my throat as I watch the medical staff attach tubes and wires

up at me with a reassuring smile. "He's a fighter, Mr. Brennan. We'll do everything we

I manage

in a few days but right now, would you like to touch him? We have places for your hands to go on either side." She demonstrates. Winona gives me a small nod, her eyes filled with encouragement. I step forward, my heart pounding as ! reach into the incubator. My hand hovers above my son, fear and awe

is soft, impossibly delicate, and I can feel

220 A Father's Touch

tears I've been holding back since we got to neonatal finally spilling over. "He's holding on," I whisper,

all know it's you who will be wrapped around his little finger." The nurse gives me a

son's tiny arm, her touch gentle and loving. We

Abby, the moments I wasn't there for, the connection I lost without ever knowing. I do feel that connection with her now. Since

this tiny life holding on to me, I feel a surge of protectiveness and love that

people facing this

don't know how they

understand now. I understand fully why Winona is so fiercely protective of Abby, why she made the decisions she did. I understand my mother's possessiveness of me, even if I can't condone how she expressed it. Because doing that out of love isn't right. Love

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