My CEO 257

257 BFF Therapy (Winona)

Lisa pours the wine, her eyebrow quirked as she glances at me from across her small kitchen island. "So, what exactly did he say?"

I take a long drink from my glass, trying to let the alcohol smooth the edges of my nerves. "He wants to stop living together until the wedding," I say, keeping my voice flat. "And he thinks we should stop sleeping in the same bed." Lisa nearly chokes on her wine, setting the bottle down with a clatter. "Wait, what?" She's staring at me, eyes wide.

I shrug, swirling the wine in my glass. "Not exactly. Just until the wedding. We'd already agreed to not have sex until the wedding night."

She leans back, folding her arms. "That's a whole new level of self-control. Are we sure he's not an alien? I mean were you okay with the no-actual-sex thing?"

"I was, until he started saying Ashlyn's name and the fucking safe word in his sleep.

"He did what now?" Lisa's eyes are wider.

I nod. "I just don't know what to think. These dreams, he says they are nightmares. But they sound like pretty happy nightmares sometimes."

"You should have told me."

"I couldn't even tell him I knew."

"Man, I mean, fuck me! What happened?"

"Last night, he had the worst one. He was shook and I was shook. I couldn't pretend I was asleep."

"Girl, this is next level. You always seem to top yourself. Stop it."

I can't help but laugh a bit. "It's more than that, Lisa. He says he needs me to be sure. That we both need time to figure this out." Lisa tilts her head, her tone softening. "And what do you think?"

"I don't know, Lisa. That's the thing."

Lisa sets her glass down, her eyes narrowing in on me. "So what's the real issue hare? You don't trust him, or you don't trust yourself?"

be able to trust him the way I need

"Winona, you've been through hell and back with him. But the question isn't whether he's worth trusting. It's

sip of wine. "It's not just that,"

it, at

257DFF Therapy.

even when he was beginning to remember us. When he

You're insecure. Justifiably

myself be with him again. But you told me there were rumors about the type of

rubbing my temples. "He had this thing going with Ashlyn. It was... dark. I don't know all the details, but I know it was intense. And I'm scared that part of him still wants that, still needs it.

it in his dreams, with her. She's fucking dead, fucking him and fucking with my

you think he still

head, feeling the frustration build. "How can I be sure? What if, deep down, that's what he needs. I don't want him settling with me. I want to be able to fulfill him as a

eyes scanning my face,

raise my eyebrows in disbelief. No one is more qualified than Lisa to discuss open

maybe I am a bit of an expert on

"A bit?"

you're scared that you won't be able to satisfy him the way he needs." "Exactly. I want to believe him when he says he's over it, but what

back alley on the down-low dressed in

slap her arm. "Stop

"Come on. You gotta admit, it's a little funny. Plenty of hot-blooded guys like to concede control and take orders sometimes. Maybe it's something you should explore together." "No. I'd never be able to stop worrying he'd compare

that's what you're

any

to her.

the problem, isn't it?" Lisa

think it

all that stuff because she was

252 BFF Therapy

to you?

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