493 Heartbeats
(Winona)
The gel is cold, but I don't care. I need this done. Dr. Harris adjusts the probe on my stomach, her face neutral as she stares at the monitor.
Jayden sits beside me, his hand gripping mine. Lisa is standing at the end of the bed, arms crossed, her eyes flicking between me and the screen. Cass perches on the bedside out of the way. I'm grateful for their support.
"Let's see," Dr. Harris says. Her tone is calm, but it doesn't ease the storm raging inside me.
My breath comes in shallow bursts, and I glance at Jayden. He hasn't let go of my hand since they rolled the machine in. He looks focused, his eyes glued to the screen.
Lisa breaks the silence first. "Should it take this long?" Her voice is sharp, her worry evident.
Dr. Harris keeps her tone steady. "Sometimes the baby's position makes it harder to pick up a signal. Let's not assume anything yet."
""Easier said than done," Cass says.
I can't help but agree. My mouth is dry. "Doctor, should I be worried?"
Dr. Harris meets my eyes briefly. "Try not to stress, Winona. The baby's position or the placenta could be blocking the signal. It doesn't mean anything conclusive." "Or..." My voice cracks, and I hate how fragile I sound.
Jayden squeezes my hand firmly. "Don't go there yet," he says, his voice low and steady.
"You're not scared?" I whisper, my eyes searching his face.
voice is barely above a whisper. "Terrified. But we'll
slightly. The static hums through the room, filling
hard, my voice shaky as I ask, "Why can't I hear it? Is it
her attention locked on the screen. "Let's try tilting your pelvis slightly to the
I say, my voice
Jayden helps me shift.
"Or they move around quickly, making it hard to pin them down." "Maybe we've got an
that's all it is," I
hold my breath. The static fills the air again, an unbearable sound. My throat is tight,
any sign of reassurance.
we'll get through it. You, me, the kids. We're a team." "Even if there's no
We've always known this was a risk. But we've also always
my eyes, swallowing hard.
to believe him. I want to believe that I'll be okay, that we'll be okay, no matter what happens. But I'm not sure how I'll
we lose this baby.
shapes shifting in shades of gray that mean nothing to me. Then I hear it-a faint blip. My eyes
that?" I
probe. "Could be
body tense. "Something? What
could also be
replaced by static. My heart sinks, and I
did it stop?" I ask, panic creeping
again tomorrow, after you've had a
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