Divorce to Destiny: Reclaiming My CEO Husband by Anney GW

499 Not Mother Material

(Lisa)

Dr. Harris's voice echoes in my head:

She's stable for now, but the next 24 hours are critical. Heavy blood loss. The surgery was successful, but we had to perform a hysterectomy to save her life.

Hysterectomy. That word affects a woman. I don't know, it's the finality of it, I guess. One of life's fundamental functions of the female body, taken away.

I feel guilty because here I am perfectly functioning and not wanting to be a mother. Some who want that more than anything never get to have it. But mothering, it's not for me. I'm a free spirit. I like to go with the breeze.

Kids are a lot of work and responsibility. I've watched Winona... I just don't have that in me. And that's okay. It's okay to want something different.

But hearing it for Winona and Jayden knocks the air out of me. They wanted this baby so much. I wanted it for them. But it was out of anyone's control. Now, all chances at miracles are wiped.

I wonder if Winona will see it as a clean slate or if it will eat away inside her for the rest of her life?

I glance at Jayden, standing just a few feet away, his shoulders squared but his face haunted. He nods at the doctor, asking questions, staying composed because that's what Jayden does now. He never was the one to keep it together when emotions are involved but he's come a long way.

Meanwhile, I'm drowning in my own head. Winona's miracle pregnancy, gone. Me not wanting kids ever. I feel a knot in my stomach, the unfairness of it all twists inside me.

Cass is beside me, her hands clasped tightly in her lap, her knuckles white. She hasn't said a word since Dr. Harris left, and I don't know if it's because she doesn't know what to say or because she's afraid she'll fall apart if she opens her mouth.

and she knew how much this

I could never change when Winona has lost so much

pale and tight. "They'll move her to the ICU soon," he says, his voice steady but hollow.

Like that's

My voice doesn't have the usual bite it might in a situation like this. I know I can't do anything for Winona by staying here. But the thought of

I had when she was in the coma and the long recovery to get her okay again. I never left her then and I won't now. Not until I figure out what I can

and for a moment, the tension in his

know she's okay. When you're both okay," I interrupt gently, folding my arms across my chest. "You both would do the

and I, we don't always agree, and

beside me,

her voice barely above a whisper. "She has to. She's Winona." Jayden runs a hand through his hair, the strain in his movements making my

myself. "Winona doesn't give up. She's stronger

always up to strength, is

a nurse steps in. "We're taking her to the ICU now," she says. "She can have two visitors at a time and no drama. Jayden, you can meet her there now." Jayden jumps up. "I will, thanks."

leans forward, her elbows

do for one of the kids. Cass is

going to be okay," I say softly, even though I'm

respond, but she leans into the touch ever so

what else to do or say. I feel useless, like I'm just taking up space. Jayden needs