Divorce to Destiny: Reclaiming My CEO Husband by Anney GW

499 Not Mother Material

(Lisa)

Dr. Harris's voice echoes in my head:

She's stable for now, but the next 24 hours are critical. Heavy blood loss. The surgery was successful, but we had to perform a hysterectomy to save her life.

Hysterectomy. That word affects a woman. I don't know, it's the finality of it, I guess. One of life's fundamental functions of the female body, taken away.

I feel guilty because here I am perfectly functioning and not wanting to be a mother. Some who want that more than anything never get to have it. But mothering, it's not for me. I'm a free spirit. I like to go with the breeze.

Kids are a lot of work and responsibility. I've watched Winona... I just don't have that in me. And that's okay. It's okay to want something different.

But hearing it for Winona and Jayden knocks the air out of me. They wanted this baby so much. I wanted it for them. But it was out of anyone's control. Now, all chances at miracles are wiped.

I wonder if Winona will see it as a clean slate or if it will eat away inside her for the rest of her life?

I glance at Jayden, standing just a few feet away, his shoulders squared but his face haunted. He nods at the doctor, asking questions, staying composed because that's what Jayden does now. He never was the one to keep it together when emotions are involved but he's come a long way.

Meanwhile, I'm drowning in my own head. Winona's miracle pregnancy, gone. Me not wanting kids ever. I feel a knot in my stomach, the unfairness of it all twists inside me.

Cass is beside me, her hands clasped tightly in her lap, her knuckles white. She hasn't said a word since Dr. Harris left, and I don't know if it's because she doesn't know what to say or because she's afraid she'll fall apart if she opens her mouth.

twenty, probably never considered herself with kids yet. But this is her big sister and she knew how much this meant to Winona. Their family has had so much loss, and here I am still angry because

could never change when

move her to the ICU soon," he says, his voice steady but hollow. "You two should go back home.

Like that's even

in a situation like this. I know I can't do anything for Winona by staying here. But the

okay again. I never left her then and I won't now. Not until I

for a moment,

you're both okay," I interrupt gently,

gratitude in his eyes makes me want to cry. Jayden and I,

beside me,

She's Winona." Jayden runs a hand through his hair, the strain in his movements making my

than for myself. "Winona doesn't give up.

strength, is it? Sometimes it's

two visitors at a time and no drama.

Cass leans forward, her elbows on her knees, her head in

instinctive-something I'd do for one of the kids. Cass

be okay," I say softly, even though I'm not sure I believe

but she leans into the

don't know what else to do or say. I feel useless, like I'm just