Divorce to Destiny: Reclaiming My CEO Husband by Anney GW

499 Not Mother Material

(Lisa)

Dr. Harris's voice echoes in my head:

She's stable for now, but the next 24 hours are critical. Heavy blood loss. The surgery was successful, but we had to perform a hysterectomy to save her life.

Hysterectomy. That word affects a woman. I don't know, it's the finality of it, I guess. One of life's fundamental functions of the female body, taken away.

I feel guilty because here I am perfectly functioning and not wanting to be a mother. Some who want that more than anything never get to have it. But mothering, it's not for me. I'm a free spirit. I like to go with the breeze.

Kids are a lot of work and responsibility. I've watched Winona... I just don't have that in me. And that's okay. It's okay to want something different.

But hearing it for Winona and Jayden knocks the air out of me. They wanted this baby so much. I wanted it for them. But it was out of anyone's control. Now, all chances at miracles are wiped.

I wonder if Winona will see it as a clean slate or if it will eat away inside her for the rest of her life?

I glance at Jayden, standing just a few feet away, his shoulders squared but his face haunted. He nods at the doctor, asking questions, staying composed because that's what Jayden does now. He never was the one to keep it together when emotions are involved but he's come a long way.

Meanwhile, I'm drowning in my own head. Winona's miracle pregnancy, gone. Me not wanting kids ever. I feel a knot in my stomach, the unfairness of it all twists inside me.

Cass is beside me, her hands clasped tightly in her lap, her knuckles white. She hasn't said a word since Dr. Harris left, and I don't know if it's because she doesn't know what to say or because she's afraid she'll fall apart if she opens her mouth.

with kids yet. But this is her big sister and she knew how much this meant to Winona.

right to wallow in a decision I could never change when Winona has lost

finally turns to us, his face pale and tight. "They'll move her to the ICU soon," he says, his voice steady but hollow. "You two should go back home. Get some

Like that's even

it might in a situation like this. I know I can't do anything for Winona by staying here. But

the coma and the long recovery to get her okay again. I never left her then and I won't now. Not until I figure out what I

and for a moment, the tension in his face eases.

I interrupt gently, folding my arms across my chest. "You both would

cry. Jayden and I, we don't always agree, and we've had our fair share of fights, but he's

beside me,

has to. She's Winona." Jayden runs a hand through his hair, the strain

him than for myself. "Winona

strength, is it? Sometimes it's out of

taking her to the ICU now," she says. "She can have two visitors at a time and no drama. Jayden,

suffocating. Cass leans forward, her elbows on

of the kids.

to be okay," I say softly, even though I'm not sure

leans into the touch ever so

say. I feel useless, like I'm just taking up space. Jayden needs