520 A Cry in the Dark

(Winona)

The soft cry of a baby envelopes me.

At first, it's faint, like it's coming from another room. Then it grows louder, more insistent. I'm fumbling, trying to pinpoint the direction, but I can't find it. My hands press against empty air, the cries getting louder. I'm coming, baby. I'm coming.

I wake with a gasp, my chest so tight I can't draw a breath back in. My hands grip the sheets. It's like I've been running. But I'm in bed. My bed.

I look over and see Jayden isn't beside me. But bright sun is coming through the window. I must have slept late.

The room is still. I finally suck a breath into my lungs.

No baby crying. No baby to find. No baby.

The realization twists. I sit up, forcing myself to breathe slowly, deliberately. "It's just a dream," I whisper, running a hand through my hair. "Just a stupid dream."

***

After dressing in a loose shirt and jeans, I decide to head downstairs. The scent of coffee and toast wafts up, warm and inviting. I can hear the kids' chatter and the scrape of chairs against the kitchen floor.

I put the fear from the dream to the side. I can do this. It's a dream. I'm okay.

I reach the top of the stairs, gripping the handrail, but suddenly my chest tightens all over again. My breathing becomes shallow, my vision narrowing as the world tilts slightly.

I step back from the top step and hold onto the wall. It's been a while since I had a panic attack.

"No," I mutter, leaning on the wall with both hands. "Not now."

My legs are jello. Every logical part of my brain tells me to just take a step, but I can't. My body refuses to move.

"Winona?"

I look around.

up the stairs, a breakfast tray

my voice

hand steady on my arm. "Okay, no big

shake my head. "I don't want to stay here. I want to go

time, with me.

time we reach the bottom, I'm both relieved and

Your body's catching

have to work through

I'll grab that tray

Lisa. I don't know what

you don't have to

***

plans for the day, blissfully unaware of my earlier struggle. I chatter with

here with my family

be in my happy place. Instead, I'm dreaming

go now?"

sure

"Yes, Dad. We know."

"Okay then."

check under

give a

grins. "Aha! Sprung. Actually, let's take a real expert in low

"Henry, let's go

his hands as they

rests his hand lightly

he asks

"Nothing. I'm okay."

you think I don't need to know

He's damn right.

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