538 No Way Out
(Lisa)
Staring at my bedroom ceiling won't change anything. But I don't know what else to do.
Arms crossed over my stomach, pressing down like I can stop this from happening. Like I can physically hold it all in-this pregnancy, this entire fucking disaster.
This isn't happening. It can't happen.
But it is.
The numbers keep running through my head. Twelve weeks. Three months. That's a whole damn trimester. This is real, and there's no taking it back.
How the hell can this be happening?
I squeeze my eyes shut, jaw clenched. I know exactly how. The last night with Lance. The one where he let himself feel what we had. The one where I thought-stupidly, so fucking stupidly-that we might actually get it right. That night we weren't as careful as we could've been. But I have contraception, I thought it would be fine.
Now he's gone, and I'm stuck holding the last piece of him.
The phone buzzes on my nightstand. Winona.
I hesitate, then grab it.
"How'd your day go? You okay?"
"Fine. Just tired. How was your meeting?"
"Nailed it. They signed off on everything. Full control over the marketing budget, rebranding, expansion-all of it."
into this role effortlessly, proving everyone wrong. That's what she does. She deserves everything
problem she'd give anything to still have.
They're lucky to have you,
okay? You
so
spend time with your husband before
had an entire house
"What?"
actually. They are going to live
look forward to it.
"Love you more."
the phone down, my whole
about the foundation problems but not yet. She has enough
chance. Had to have surgery to make sure it never happens again. And me? I get pregnant by accident. An accident, like it's some fucking joke from the universe.
pain and tell me it's okay, that I'll figure
swatter
what.
exactly why I can't tell her. Because I don't deserve
this baby. And that makes me the most selfish person on the
empty glass on my nightstand. No wine. No vodka. No escape. I can't
pregnant, it wouldn't fix anything. None of
position. Not fixing the mess Lance's
the plan. Two months of partying, maybe a couple of flings, a detox retreat
suddenly, all the air
this. Not here, not now. I need
disappear. Not with this CEO position hanging over me. I can't run off to have
my name is about to be all over these
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