538 No Way Out

(Lisa)

Staring at my bedroom ceiling won't change anything. But I don't know what else to do.

Arms crossed over my stomach, pressing down like I can stop this from happening. Like I can physically hold it all in-this pregnancy, this entire fucking disaster.

This isn't happening. It can't happen.

But it is.

The numbers keep running through my head. Twelve weeks. Three months. That's a whole damn trimester. This is real, and there's no taking it back.

How the hell can this be happening?

I squeeze my eyes shut, jaw clenched. I know exactly how. The last night with Lance. The one where he let himself feel what we had. The one where I thought-stupidly, so fucking stupidly-that we might actually get it right. That night we weren't as careful as we could've been. But I have contraception, I thought it would be fine.

Now he's gone, and I'm stuck holding the last piece of him.

The phone buzzes on my nightstand. Winona.

I hesitate, then grab it.

"How'd your day go? You okay?"

"Fine. Just tired. How was your meeting?"

"Nailed it. They signed off on everything. Full control over the marketing budget, rebranding, expansion-all of it."

role effortlessly, proving everyone wrong. That's what she

problem she'd give anything to still

lucky to have

you're okay? You don't sound like

phone so tight

spend time with your husband before

had an entire house

"What?"

have a nanny, well two actually. They are going to live out here. I'll tell you all about i t

to

"Love you more."

second I put the phone

her about the foundation problems but not yet. She has

her baby. Lost her last chance. Had to have surgery to make sure it never happens again. And me? I get pregnant by accident. An accident, like it's some fucking joke from the universe. I

and tell me it's okay, that I'll figure it out. That I don't have to be a mother just because I'm

swatter

what.

exactly why I can't tell her. Because

this baby. And that makes me the

on my nightstand. No wine. No vodka. No escape. I can't even go out and dance until

wouldn't fix anything.

pregnancy. Not the CEO position. Not fixing the mess Lance's death caused in

Two months of partying, maybe a couple of flings, a detox retreat in Bali afterward

sit up suddenly, all the

this. Not here, not now. I

I can't just disappear. Not with this CEO position hanging over me. I can't run off to have this baby in secret and hand it over to some perfect

name is about to be all

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