538 No Way Out
(Lisa)
Staring at my bedroom ceiling won't change anything. But I don't know what else to do.
Arms crossed over my stomach, pressing down like I can stop this from happening. Like I can physically hold it all in-this pregnancy, this entire fucking disaster.
This isn't happening. It can't happen.
But it is.
The numbers keep running through my head. Twelve weeks. Three months. That's a whole damn trimester. This is real, and there's no taking it back.
How the hell can this be happening?
I squeeze my eyes shut, jaw clenched. I know exactly how. The last night with Lance. The one where he let himself feel what we had. The one where I thought-stupidly, so fucking stupidly-that we might actually get it right. That night we weren't as careful as we could've been. But I have contraception, I thought it would be fine.
Now he's gone, and I'm stuck holding the last piece of him.
The phone buzzes on my nightstand. Winona.
I hesitate, then grab it.
"How'd your day go? You okay?"
"Fine. Just tired. How was your meeting?"
"Nailed it. They signed off on everything. Full control over the marketing budget, rebranding, expansion-all of it."
role effortlessly, proving everyone wrong. That's what she does. She
here I am, drowning in a problem she'd give anything to
would. They're lucky to have you,
You don't sound like
squeeze my phone so tight
worrying about me and go spend time with
entire house
"What?"
have a nanny, well two actually. They are going to live out here. I'll tell you all about i t
forward to
"Love you more."
I put the phone down,
her about the foundation
to make sure it never happens again. And me? I get pregnant by accident. An accident, like it's some fucking joke from the
okay, that I'll figure it out. That I don't have to be a
swatter
what.
why I can't tell her. Because I don't deserve that unconditional
want this baby. And that makes me the most selfish person on
nightstand. No wine. No vodka. No escape. I can't
wouldn't fix anything.
CEO position. Not fixing
now. That was the plan. Two months of partying, maybe a couple of flings, a detox retreat in Bali
sit up suddenly, all
this. Not here, not now.
just disappear. Not with this CEO position hanging over me. I can't run off to have this baby
when my name is about to be all over these
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