538 No Way Out
(Lisa)
Staring at my bedroom ceiling won't change anything. But I don't know what else to do.
Arms crossed over my stomach, pressing down like I can stop this from happening. Like I can physically hold it all in-this pregnancy, this entire fucking disaster.
This isn't happening. It can't happen.
But it is.
The numbers keep running through my head. Twelve weeks. Three months. That's a whole damn trimester. This is real, and there's no taking it back.
How the hell can this be happening?
I squeeze my eyes shut, jaw clenched. I know exactly how. The last night with Lance. The one where he let himself feel what we had. The one where I thought-stupidly, so fucking stupidly-that we might actually get it right. That night we weren't as careful as we could've been. But I have contraception, I thought it would be fine.
Now he's gone, and I'm stuck holding the last piece of him.
The phone buzzes on my nightstand. Winona.
I hesitate, then grab it.
"How'd your day go? You okay?"
"Fine. Just tired. How was your meeting?"
"Nailed it. They signed off on everything. Full control over the marketing budget, rebranding, expansion-all of it."
into this role effortlessly, proving everyone wrong. That's what she does.
a problem she'd
They're lucky
sure you're okay? You don't
phone so tight my
spend time with your husband before he
had an entire house built
"What?"
have a nanny, well two actually. They are going to live out here. I'll tell you all about i t
look forward to it. Love
"Love you more."
the phone
her about being pregnant. I will tell her about the foundation problems but not yet. She has enough
again. And me? I get
I know she would. She'd push through her own pain and tell me it's okay, that I'll figure it out. That I don't have to be a mother just because
swatter
what.
tell her. Because I don't
don't want this baby. And that makes
staring at the empty glass on my nightstand. No wine. No vodka. No escape. I can't even go out
it wouldn't fix anything. None of
position. Not fixing the mess
the plan. Two months of partying, maybe a couple of flings, a detox retreat in Bali afterward to reset. That's
sit up suddenly, all
here,
CEO position hanging over me. I can't run off to have this baby in secret and hand
when my name is about to
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