538 No Way Out

(Lisa)

Staring at my bedroom ceiling won't change anything. But I don't know what else to do.

Arms crossed over my stomach, pressing down like I can stop this from happening. Like I can physically hold it all in-this pregnancy, this entire fucking disaster.

This isn't happening. It can't happen.

But it is.

The numbers keep running through my head. Twelve weeks. Three months. That's a whole damn trimester. This is real, and there's no taking it back.

How the hell can this be happening?

I squeeze my eyes shut, jaw clenched. I know exactly how. The last night with Lance. The one where he let himself feel what we had. The one where I thought-stupidly, so fucking stupidly-that we might actually get it right. That night we weren't as careful as we could've been. But I have contraception, I thought it would be fine.

Now he's gone, and I'm stuck holding the last piece of him.

The phone buzzes on my nightstand. Winona.

I hesitate, then grab it.

"How'd your day go? You okay?"

"Fine. Just tired. How was your meeting?"

"Nailed it. They signed off on everything. Full control over the marketing budget, rebranding, expansion-all of it."

crushed it. Of course she's stepping into this role effortlessly, proving everyone wrong. That's what she does.

in a problem she'd give anything to still have.

would. They're lucky to have you,

You don't

my phone so

worrying about me and go spend time with your husband before he

an entire house built next door

"What?"

a nanny, well two actually. They are going to live out here. I'll tell you all about i

to it.

"Love you more."

second I put the phone down, my

will tell her about the

Had to have surgery to make sure it never happens again. And me? I get pregnant by accident. An accident, like it's

through her own pain and tell me it's okay, that I'll figure it out. That I don't have to be a mother just because I'm pregnant.

swatter

what.

tell her.

want this baby. And that makes me the most selfish person on

No wine. No vodka. No escape. I can't even go

it wouldn't fix anything.

CEO position. Not fixing the

detox retreat in Bali afterward

sit up suddenly, all the air leaves my

can't do this. Not here, not now. I

CEO position hanging over me. I can't run off to have this baby in secret and hand it over to some perfect couple looking for their

about to be all over

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