Winona) Jayden's
gone.
I remind myself of that as I walk through the towering glass doors of the office building. He's only in Brussels. Not gone-gone. I have things to do. I'm handling everything. I exhale. I do have this.
So why does it feel like the entire world is off balance?
Kit and River are back at the house, settling into their first official day. The kids were so stoked they practically pushed me out the door. Anne's in the city at her apartment for the week.
The kids are fine. Jayden's fine. Everything is under control.
Except me.
Everywhere I look, there are babies.
Babies in strollers, babies strapped to parents' chests, babies gurgling in cafés.
My heart surges to grab them up, smell their baby smell. Feel their soft new hair. Hold them close and never let them go again. I push the thoughts away. It's not only weird but it's unhinged to think like that about other people's babies.
One locks eyes with me now from the elevator next to mine, chubby hands gripping his pram, drool dripping onto his bib. His mother smiles, wiping his mouth and giving the appropriate going and gahing. Has the whole damn city just given birth?
I should look away from the infant staring at me. I don't. I'm lost in the curious eyes of this baby. Probably nine months old. I remember Henry at that age.
I remember how I'd imagined having an infant in my arms again. I remember what an idiot I was for letting myself believe.
The elevator dings. I force myself forward.
I don't have time for this. I need to get through the day. I've managed the panic attacks over the stairs, and I will manage the nightmares and seeing babies all the time too.
I have to.
Today is about the rebrand. New name, new strategy, new everything. That's where my focus needs to be. I'm heading up a billion-dollar company. I have to prove I can do this. That I am good enough. By the time I step into the sleek conference room, I've shoved every intrusive thought into a locked mental drawer.
The room is already filled with people from the marketing team, along with the designers, all of them seated around the Oak table, waiting. I take my seat at the head.
But there's one empty seat.
"Ciara, where is my Chief of Finance?" I ask my personal assistant. She's bright and bubbly, and efficient.
"Kevin left yesterday. His replacement... seems to be running a little late..."
"Why wasn't I notified we had a new starter today?" This is ridiculous. I need to be notified about these things. This could set everything back.
"Ah, it was already planned before...."
"Before I got here?"
She nods. "Specific instructions from Mr. Collins."
"Wait, Lance had the replacement ready to go?"
"Apparently, yes. For six months. But no one here seems to know what exactly went down. Kevin never spoke much."
"Do we have a name?"
"No. I'm not sure about the details yet. I'll make some calls."
"We don't have time now. We'll deal with it later. Just for the record, I'm told everything before it happens. Even if Lance had it sorted. I hate surprises. Understand that." "Yes, Mrs. Brennan."
"Right, we have a lot to get through," I say, placing my tablet on the table. "Let's get started. I don't have time to wait for someone who may never turn up. Go ahead, hit me with what you have." Silence.
"Anyone?"
A few exchanged glances.
the designers clears her throat. "I'm Ella Duniam. So,
irritated. "Let me stop you right there.
"Of course. But these are a starting point,
point? I need
even though I know none of this will
a presentation with at least fifteen different logo concepts. I skim over them quickly. Some are sleek, some are
a dating app," I
screams middle-aged coupon-clipping housewives. And this?" I raise a eyebrow. "Was perfect
swnol
of the design department. "I don't want bland don't want recycled ideas.
Fol
financial management. Make
powerful. Where in these"
gesture
screen-"does any
come across?"
I'm met with
guys clears his throat. "We were
Why do you think the world still runs on brands like Ferrari and Rolex?
More silence.
young executive. I feel for
You may as well present what you've prepared. All good practice for
At this point I can't see me getting this app relaunch off the ground and I'm struggling to see why Lance chose these people to be a part of this business at all. Maybe I'm being too harsh. Maybe I need to take a step back
Browning." The young exec steps to the end
and
my first day is turning out to be. My shit
Judy is holding onto it and
Winona) Jayden's
gone.
myself of that as I walk through the towering glass doors of the office building. He's only in Brussels. Not gone-gone. I
why does it feel like
The kids were so stoked they practically pushed me out the door. Anne's in the city at her apartment for
fine. Jayden's fine.
Except me.
I look, there
to parents' chests, babies
their soft new hair. Hold them close and never let them go again. I push the thoughts away. It's not only weird
gripping his pram, drool dripping onto his bib. His mother smiles, wiping his mouth and giving the appropriate going
away from the infant staring at me. I don't. I'm lost in the curious eyes of this
arms again.
elevator dings. I force myself
get through the day. I've managed the panic attacks over the stairs, and I will manage the nightmares
I have to.
be. I'm heading up a billion-dollar company. I have to prove I can do this. That I am good enough. By the time I step into the sleek conference room, I've shoved
with people from the marketing team, along with the designers, all of them
one
where is my Chief of Finance?" I ask my personal
His replacement... seems to
This is ridiculous. I need to be notified
it was already planned
"Before I got here?"
"Specific instructions from
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