Winona) Jayden's

gone.

I remind myself of that as I walk through the towering glass doors of the office building. He's only in Brussels. Not gone-gone. I have things to do. I'm handling everything. I exhale. I do have this.

So why does it feel like the entire world is off balance?

Kit and River are back at the house, settling into their first official day. The kids were so stoked they practically pushed me out the door. Anne's in the city at her apartment for the week.

The kids are fine. Jayden's fine. Everything is under control.

Except me.

Everywhere I look, there are babies.

Babies in strollers, babies strapped to parents' chests, babies gurgling in cafés.

My heart surges to grab them up, smell their baby smell. Feel their soft new hair. Hold them close and never let them go again. I push the thoughts away. It's not only weird but it's unhinged to think like that about other people's babies.

One locks eyes with me now from the elevator next to mine, chubby hands gripping his pram, drool dripping onto his bib. His mother smiles, wiping his mouth and giving the appropriate going and gahing. Has the whole damn city just given birth?

I should look away from the infant staring at me. I don't. I'm lost in the curious eyes of this baby. Probably nine months old. I remember Henry at that age.

I remember how I'd imagined having an infant in my arms again. I remember what an idiot I was for letting myself believe.

The elevator dings. I force myself forward.

I don't have time for this. I need to get through the day. I've managed the panic attacks over the stairs, and I will manage the nightmares and seeing babies all the time too.

I have to.

Today is about the rebrand. New name, new strategy, new everything. That's where my focus needs to be. I'm heading up a billion-dollar company. I have to prove I can do this. That I am good enough. By the time I step into the sleek conference room, I've shoved every intrusive thought into a locked mental drawer.

The room is already filled with people from the marketing team, along with the designers, all of them seated around the Oak table, waiting. I take my seat at the head.

But there's one empty seat.

"Ciara, where is my Chief of Finance?" I ask my personal assistant. She's bright and bubbly, and efficient.

"Kevin left yesterday. His replacement... seems to be running a little late..."

"Why wasn't I notified we had a new starter today?" This is ridiculous. I need to be notified about these things. This could set everything back.

"Ah, it was already planned before...."

"Before I got here?"

She nods. "Specific instructions from Mr. Collins."

"Wait, Lance had the replacement ready to go?"

"Apparently, yes. For six months. But no one here seems to know what exactly went down. Kevin never spoke much."

"Do we have a name?"

"No. I'm not sure about the details yet. I'll make some calls."

"We don't have time now. We'll deal with it later. Just for the record, I'm told everything before it happens. Even if Lance had it sorted. I hate surprises. Understand that." "Yes, Mrs. Brennan."

"Right, we have a lot to get through," I say, placing my tablet on the table. "Let's get started. I don't have time to wait for someone who may never turn up. Go ahead, hit me with what you have." Silence.

"Anyone?"

A few exchanged glances.

designers clears her throat. "I'm Ella Duniam. So, um... we've been brainstorming, and

a hand, already irritated. "Let me stop you

"Of course. But these are a starting

I need

to continue even though I know none of this will be

concepts. I skim over them quickly. Some are sleek, some are modern. Some of them

like a dating app,"

the next. This one screams middle-aged coupon-clipping housewives. And this?" I raise a eyebrow. "Was perfect for last

swnol

the head of the design department. "I don't want bland don't want recycled ideas. I want bold. Cutting-edge. This app

Fol

management. Make

powerful. Where in these"

gesture

the screen-"does

come across?"

fidgets. I'm met with awkward

of the guys clears his throat. "We were aiming for

the world still runs on brands like Ferrari and Rolex?

More silence.

back at the nervous young executive. I feel for him trying

ahead. You may as well present what you've prepared.

I need right now is a miracle. At this point I can't see me getting this app relaunch off the ground and I'm struggling to see why Lance chose these people to be a part of this business at all. Maybe I'm being

The young exec steps to the

and

first day is turning out to

is holding onto

Winona) Jayden's

gone.

doors of the office building. He's only in Brussels. Not gone-gone. I have things to do. I'm

it feel like the entire world

The kids were so stoked they practically pushed me out the door. Anne's in the city at her

kids are fine. Jayden's fine. Everything is under

Except me.

I look,

strollers, babies strapped to parents' chests, babies gurgling in

their baby smell. Feel their soft new hair. Hold them close and never let them go again. I push the

dripping onto his bib. His mother smiles, wiping his mouth

I don't. I'm lost in the curious eyes of this baby. Probably nine months old.

again. I

elevator dings. I

to get through the day. I've managed the panic attacks over the stairs, and I will manage the nightmares and

I have to.

a billion-dollar company. I have to prove I can do this. That I am good enough. By the time I

from the marketing team, along with the designers, all of them seated around the Oak table,

one empty

Chief of Finance?" I ask my personal assistant. She's bright and bubbly,

left yesterday. His replacement... seems to be

today?" This is ridiculous. I need

was

"Before I got here?"

nods. "Specific instructions from Mr.

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