Don't Poke the Luna (Xena and Ryder)

Chapter 85

Xena's POV

"So I'm your safe choice," Ryder's voice carried a wounded tone, his green eyes dimming

with hurt.

I shifted my weight from one foot to the other, unable to meet his gaze directly. The intensity between us was suffocating in the close confines of his bedroom. Everything about this space screamed Ryder-the faint pine scent, the leather jacket tossed casually over a chair, sketches of motorcycle designs pinned to a corkboard.

"Yes and no," I finally responded, my voice barely above a whisper. "Yes, you make me feel safe. I'm comfortable here, I like it here." I gestured vaguely around us before dropping my hand. "But you yourself aren't a safe choice. You mean vulnerability. You have the capacity to hurt me-emotionally, mentally, even physically. I'm afraid of being your mate because then you'd feel all my insecurities, my weaknesses, my fears. You're an unknown variable to me, and my brain is screaming at me to run, but my heart wants to stay. Giving you that power and trusting you not to abuse it... it's terrifying."

My chest constricted painfully with each confession. The walls I'd built over years were crumbling, and I felt exposed in a way I never had before, not even with Samuel. The thought of Samuel sent a fresh wave of pain through me. So much loss, so much

heartache.

"You're afraid of being loved," Ryder said softly.

His words cut through me like a blade, finding the most tender part of my heart with terrifying accuracy. Yes, I was afraid of being loved, because love meant the possibility of loss. I knew it was irrational, but the fear was embedded in my marrow, impossible to shake off easily.

"Sometimes, love isn't enough," I replied, my voice trembling slightly. I hated how vulnerable I sounded. "Dad loves me, but it's not enough. Logan loves me, but it's not enough. Samuel loved me, and now he's dead." The words caught in my throat. "What if one day you love me too, and then you die because of it? I'm not worth that sacrifice."

Ryder remained silent for a long minute, his green eyes never leaving my face. Then he stood up, moving with that predatory grace that never failed to make my heart skip a

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Chapter 85

beat. Before I could react, he'd scooped me up and sat me on his lap, trapping my feet with his calves so I couldn't escape.

My first instinct was to struggle, to break free from this cage of warm flesh, but something in his steady heartbeat against my back made me gradually relax.

"You are absolutely worth being loved," he said, his voice firm but gentle. "I wish you could see how beautiful your heart is. I know I can't convince you of anything right now, but after tomorrow, I'll spend the rest of my life making you understand how loved you

are."

Ryder cupped my face in his hands and placed the gentlest kiss on my lips, then pulled me into a tight embrace. I fit perfectly against his chest, melting into his arms with an

ease that frightened me.

was so foreign-being cherished, protected, not for my value or capabilities but simply because I was

trust him.

designs?" he asked after

agreed, though I didn't really want to move. When he

reluctantly.

them on the coffee table so we

of flooring do you want?" he

perfect motorcycle shop now that I had the chance to rebuild it

light olive or sage green walls. The flooring shouldn't be too

pulled out a sample that was close to what

studied the sample carefully, thinking

I don't

will show dust

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4:17 pm

Chapter 85

sample that was very gray

subtle texturing that

foot?" I

you picked the most

a gift for selecting the right people," I said with a

area when there was a knock on the door. "Xena?" It

Ama asked, her blonde curls

room.

shop!" I said

sunbathe by the pool," she

this to Penelope. William and I have some work to handle, and then we'll join you for

information?" I asked Ryder, suddenly

gave it to him," Ama quickly interjected. Something in their expressions

you're hiding?" I asked, crossing my

swimming!" Ama actually

didn't bring

you!" She held