Down the Rabbit Hole (Stuck On You)

Chapter 29: It Doesn’t Work That Way

The next morning, I woke to soft kisses. I opened my eyes and saw Hayden. I smiled lightly before I remembered yesterday. I sat up and started untangling my hair with my fingers.

"Good morning," Hayden said softly. I sighed and ran a hand down my face. The fact was: Hayden still hurt me. "What's wrong, Jo?" he asked, putting a hand on my shoulder. I shrugged him off before I stood up and went to my drawers. I grabbed a suitcase and started packing it. I tucked a piece of hair behind my ear.

"Hayden, I'm sorry but I won't let you hurt me again," I said, not looking at him. It was quiet before I felt a hand on my arm. I didn't move.

"Jordyn, please," he begged. I turned and searched his mesmerizing blue eyes.

"No, Hayden. You've already done this to me twice. I won't let it happen a third time," I explained. He leaned his head down to kiss me but I turned my head at the last second. "I'm serious Hayden," I whispered. He paused before he closed his eyes and sighed.

"Everyone I have ever cared about has left me, either by choice or unfortunate circumstances. Last night, I was remembering that. I guess that's why I did what I did. I tried not to care for you anymore. Then maybe, you wouldn't leave me too," he tried to explain. I scrunched my eyebrows at him and shook my head.

"Hayden, you pushed me away. I was here for you and you didn't want to see that. What you did made me not trust you anymore. I don't even know if that was the first time you've done it. I don't even know what to say anymore. It wasn't anyone else's choice to leave you... but it will be mine. I love you Hayden, so much that it hurts and I don't think that will ever change. But I have to think about myself too. You're poison and I don't have to kill myself drinking it anymore. I have never cared for anyone except T-Thomas and now you, but you're killing me," I said softly. He shook his head as a tear tickled down his cheek. I wiped it away gently and hesitated before I gave him a light, tender kiss.

a whisper as he put his

headed for the door. I'd already called a cab and it was waiting for me downstairs. Hayden grabbed my wrist

you, Jo... I love you," he said in a final attempt. I sighed and released my wrist before I was out the door. Leaving him was killing me, but it had to happen. We needed space for me to figure things out. I checked into a hotel and set myself up with room service and a movie. The bed felt empty and

to cave just being near him. I wanted to talk to him. I wanted to tell him that I still loved him. After rehearsal, everyone

softly. I stopped before I turned back to him. I sighed and pushed the strap of

anything, I'm going to come running back to you and I don't think I can handle you hurting

want to hurt you,"

stay away from

His hand went to my cheek and I looked down. "I love you

so you hurt me? That's not fair, Hayden," I said, looking back to

explain. I understood, but that still didn't give him the right to hurt me. "That's just not good enough this time. You can't push me away to keep from losing me, it doesn't work that way,"

Hayden. Don't do this to me right now," I whispered. He didn't listen. He kissed me anyway. I couldn't bring myself to pull away. I was frozen where I was. Hayden put an arm around me and pulled me closer. I couldn't help it, I kissed him back. I shouldn't have. I pulled away and put the back of my wrist to my lips. I looked down and closed my eyes. "Jo, I love you...