Down the Rabbit Hole (Stuck On You)

Chapter 29: It Doesn’t Work That Way

The next morning, I woke to soft kisses. I opened my eyes and saw Hayden. I smiled lightly before I remembered yesterday. I sat up and started untangling my hair with my fingers.

"Good morning," Hayden said softly. I sighed and ran a hand down my face. The fact was: Hayden still hurt me. "What's wrong, Jo?" he asked, putting a hand on my shoulder. I shrugged him off before I stood up and went to my drawers. I grabbed a suitcase and started packing it. I tucked a piece of hair behind my ear.

"Hayden, I'm sorry but I won't let you hurt me again," I said, not looking at him. It was quiet before I felt a hand on my arm. I didn't move.

"Jordyn, please," he begged. I turned and searched his mesmerizing blue eyes.

"No, Hayden. You've already done this to me twice. I won't let it happen a third time," I explained. He leaned his head down to kiss me but I turned my head at the last second. "I'm serious Hayden," I whispered. He paused before he closed his eyes and sighed.

"Everyone I have ever cared about has left me, either by choice or unfortunate circumstances. Last night, I was remembering that. I guess that's why I did what I did. I tried not to care for you anymore. Then maybe, you wouldn't leave me too," he tried to explain. I scrunched my eyebrows at him and shook my head.

"Hayden, you pushed me away. I was here for you and you didn't want to see that. What you did made me not trust you anymore. I don't even know if that was the first time you've done it. I don't even know what to say anymore. It wasn't anyone else's choice to leave you... but it will be mine. I love you Hayden, so much that it hurts and I don't think that will ever change. But I have to think about myself too. You're poison and I don't have to kill myself drinking it anymore. I have never cared for anyone except T-Thomas and now you, but you're killing me," I said softly. He shook his head as a tear tickled down his cheek. I wiped it away gently and hesitated before I gave him a light, tender kiss.

begged in a

bag and headed for the door. I'd already called a cab and it was waiting for me downstairs. Hayden grabbed my wrist

need you, Jo... I love you," he said in a final attempt. I sighed and released my wrist before I was out the door. Leaving him was killing me, but it had to happen. We needed space for me to figure things out. I checked into a hotel and set myself up with room service and a movie. The bed felt empty and cold. I wanted to be with Hayden, but that just couldn't happen

know what I would do if I had to dance intimately with Hayden again. I was ready to cave just being near him. I wanted to talk to him. I wanted to tell him that I still loved him. After rehearsal, everyone was trying to comfort Hayden. I had to stop myself from rolling my eyes. Hayden could get all of the

softly. I stopped before I turned back to him. I sighed

you say anything, I'm going to come running back to you and I don't think I can handle

to hurt you," he said

away from me," I said

to my cheek and I looked down. "I love you

love me, so you hurt me? That's not fair, Hayden," I said, looking back

me. Every time I love someone, they die. I don't want you to be next," he tried to explain. I understood, but that still didn't give him the right to hurt me. "That's just

this to me right now," I whispered. He didn't listen. He kissed me anyway. I couldn't bring myself to pull away. I was frozen where I was. Hayden put an arm around me and pulled me closer. I couldn't help it, I kissed him back. I shouldn't have. I pulled away and put the back of my wrist to my