Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

19. Nothing to give

I fix my hoodie so that I can look presentable instead of looking like I had a one on one with death.

“Why are you wearing a beanie, mommy” Noah looks at me suspiciously.

We were skyping after I had postponed it so many times. Mainly because I could barely keep my

eyes open for longer than five minutes. Today though, I was feeling much better

I leaned back against my headboard. The beanie was to hide the bandage. Noah still didn’t know

what happened to me and I would make sure he never does.

“It’s a bit cold and I’m feeling a bit chilly” I lie.

I feel guilty for lying to him, but I know it’s for the best. There was no need of worrying him.

“We have a heater mom, you could’ve just turned it on”

“It’s not working and I forgot to get someone to fix it”

Damn it, I hate lying to him. A part of me felt like I was being a terrible mother because it seems. I’ve done nothing but lie to him since father died. The other part though, understands that it’s

necessary. 3

“Okay then” he mumbles skeptically.

“So what did you do today?” I ask changing the subject.

Anything that he does excites me even though I’m not there to enjoy it with him. His happiness was my own and I would protect it at all cost.

The frown he had seconds ago transforms into a big smile.

“I saw dolphins today, I even swam with them…it was so fun!!” he shouts, his excitement contagious.

“I wish I was there to see you”

“Don’t worry mommy, grandma took a video. She said she’ll send it to you”

I nod my head at that. I had accepted the phone Rowan got me. Turns out he did more than buy me a new phone. He even replaced my sim card.

impersonal. Like I said, I wanted to live in peace and Rowan meddling in

was Emma at dad’s house?” his unexpected question pulls me back

“What do you mean?”

+15 BONUS

yesterday and she was there sitting so close to him

so like his father’s was now back

want to pretend that those words don’t hurt but deep down they still do. Knowing that Rowan was already playing house with her brings back the pain I’ve tried so hard to

always fool ourselves into thinking we’ve moved on? Then the moment we’re hit by a trigger all that pretense crumbles and the pain is a

to have to ask your dad” I mumble, trying to hide how shaky my voice is and

Noah. Rowan saw it fit to flaunt his relationship with Emma in front of our son, so he’ll be the one to explain

dad back together. So we can be a family again” he is sad and it breaks

and I are just too different to

the illusion that we loved each other. That we were okay. It was all a sham though. Rowan could barely stand me, but Noah never caught

I accidentally got pregnant. I was naïve back then. Thinking that I could make him love me. That it would only be

locked his heart and the keys were with Emma. Even when we were intimate, it meant nothing to him. It was a biological process. While my feelings were involved, his weren’t. We never made love because he didn’t love me. What we did was fucking and even then he was careful not to get me pregnant.

the same question he demanded

ago.

him but

it now but one day, when you’re older, you will” it’s the only response I

be loved. As much as I hate to say this, I hope one day he gets the kind of love Rowan

open door makes me look

see you, Ava”

+15 BONUS

to call me by my name instead of Miss or Madam. I am thankful that Letty convinced me to let her stay because, she’s been

know how I would have survived

that,

tell her to let whoever it is in before I turn

She’s here to help me with chores” I answer him. My mind on who had come to

was correct then it is either Letty or Ethan. Both have stopped by a couple

needed it before, you’re super Mom” he looks

make him see me in a different light. That he would see that I am not as spoiled as Emma

was so st* pid to think that he would stop hating me a little less if I made sure that all his meals were home cooked. That I could take care of my family and home and still be a

“Mommy?” he calls out.

saved from that when Travis walks in to my room. He was the last person I wanted

arrived and I need to

sighs. “Okay then

our goodbyes and he signs off. The moment he does, my smile

I never want to see you again”

emotions.

“You’re my sister,

laugh humorlessly. “Sister? Are you sure, Travis, because