Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

19. Nothing to give

I fix my hoodie so that I can look presentable instead of looking like I had a one on one with death.

“Why are you wearing a beanie, mommy” Noah looks at me suspiciously.

We were skyping after I had postponed it so many times. Mainly because I could barely keep my

eyes open for longer than five minutes. Today though, I was feeling much better

I leaned back against my headboard. The beanie was to hide the bandage. Noah still didn’t know

what happened to me and I would make sure he never does.

“It’s a bit cold and I’m feeling a bit chilly” I lie.

I feel guilty for lying to him, but I know it’s for the best. There was no need of worrying him.

“We have a heater mom, you could’ve just turned it on”

“It’s not working and I forgot to get someone to fix it”

Damn it, I hate lying to him. A part of me felt like I was being a terrible mother because it seems. I’ve done nothing but lie to him since father died. The other part though, understands that it’s

necessary. 3

“Okay then” he mumbles skeptically.

“So what did you do today?” I ask changing the subject.

Anything that he does excites me even though I’m not there to enjoy it with him. His happiness was my own and I would protect it at all cost.

The frown he had seconds ago transforms into a big smile.

“I saw dolphins today, I even swam with them…it was so fun!!” he shouts, his excitement contagious.

“I wish I was there to see you”

“Don’t worry mommy, grandma took a video. She said she’ll send it to you”

I nod my head at that. I had accepted the phone Rowan got me. Turns out he did more than buy me a new phone. He even replaced my sim card.

best as I can. He calls sometimes to check up on how I’m doing. I try to keep those calls short and impersonal. Like I said, I wanted to live in peace and Rowan meddling in my life would make sure I had

Emma at dad’s house?” his unexpected question pulls me back

“What do you mean?”

+15 BONUS

dad yesterday and she was there sitting so close to him

that was so like his father’s

they still do. Knowing that Rowan was already

it that we always fool ourselves into thinking we’ve moved on? Then the moment we’re hit by a trigger all that pretense crumbles

don’t know, my love. You’re going to have to ask your dad” I mumble, trying to hide

fit to flaunt his relationship with Emma in front of our son,

together. So we can be a family again” he is sad and it breaks my

that your father and I are just too different

that we loved each other. That we were okay. It was

was naïve back then. Thinking that I could make him love me. That

my feelings were involved, his weren’t. We never made love because he didn’t love me. What we did was fucking and even then he was careful not to

same question he demanded

ago.

him

understand it now but one day, when you’re older, you will” it’s the

loved. As much as I hate to say this, I hope one day he gets the

my open

here to see you, Ava”

+15 BONUS

I am thankful that Letty

don’t know how

that, mommy?”

whoever it is in before I turn to

to help me with chores” I answer him. My mind on who had come to

correct then it is either Letty or Ethan. Both have stopped by a couple of times

needed it

did everything by myself. Even when I lived at Rowan’s mansion. I thought it would make him see me in a different light. That he would see that I am not as spoiled as Emma who couldn’t even boil water. That it would be

didn’t fucking matter to him. I was so st* pid to think that he would stop hating me a little less if

“Mommy?” he calls out.

from that when Travis walks in to my room. He was the last

uncle just arrived and I need to talk

“Okay

off. The moment he

you, I never want to see you again” I

emotions.

to foot. “You’re my sister, I wanted to see how

Travis, because as far