Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

19. Nothing to give

I fix my hoodie so that I can look presentable instead of looking like I had a one on one with death.

“Why are you wearing a beanie, mommy” Noah looks at me suspiciously.

We were skyping after I had postponed it so many times. Mainly because I could barely keep my

eyes open for longer than five minutes. Today though, I was feeling much better

I leaned back against my headboard. The beanie was to hide the bandage. Noah still didn’t know

what happened to me and I would make sure he never does.

“It’s a bit cold and I’m feeling a bit chilly” I lie.

I feel guilty for lying to him, but I know it’s for the best. There was no need of worrying him.

“We have a heater mom, you could’ve just turned it on”

“It’s not working and I forgot to get someone to fix it”

Damn it, I hate lying to him. A part of me felt like I was being a terrible mother because it seems. I’ve done nothing but lie to him since father died. The other part though, understands that it’s

necessary. 3

“Okay then” he mumbles skeptically.

“So what did you do today?” I ask changing the subject.

Anything that he does excites me even though I’m not there to enjoy it with him. His happiness was my own and I would protect it at all cost.

The frown he had seconds ago transforms into a big smile.

“I saw dolphins today, I even swam with them…it was so fun!!” he shouts, his excitement contagious.

“I wish I was there to see you”

“Don’t worry mommy, grandma took a video. She said she’ll send it to you”

I nod my head at that. I had accepted the phone Rowan got me. Turns out he did more than buy me a new phone. He even replaced my sim card.

calls sometimes to check up on how I’m doing. I try to keep those calls short and impersonal. Like I said, I wanted to live in peace and

house?” his unexpected question pulls me back to

“What do you mean?”

+15 BONUS

skyped dad yesterday and she was there sitting so close to him and

that was so like his

deep down they still do. Knowing that Rowan was already playing house with her brings back the pain I’ve

we’ve moved on? Then the moment we’re hit by a trigger all that pretense crumbles and the

know, my love. You’re going to have to ask your dad” I mumble, trying to hide how shaky my voice is and how affected I

to Noah. Rowan saw it fit to flaunt his relationship with

want you and dad back together. So we can be a family again” he is sad and it breaks my

father and I are just too

Noah. Trying to give him the illusion that we loved each other. That we were okay. It was all a sham though. Rowan could

back then. Thinking that I could make him love me. That it would only

his heart and the keys were with Emma. Even when we were intimate, it meant nothing to him. It was a biological process. While my feelings were involved, his weren’t. We never made love because he didn’t love me. What we did was fucking and even then he was careful

asks the same question he demanded of his father

ago.

want to lie to him but I’ve

understand it now but one day, when you’re older, you will” it’s the only response

As much as I hate to say this, I hope one day he gets the kind of love Rowan and Emma have. One that has stood the test of time and it’s still burning bright. I pray that one day I’ll also find that

my open door makes me

see you, Ava”

+15 BONUS

call me by my name instead of Miss or Madam. I am thankful that Letty convinced me to let her stay because, she’s been such a huge help. She even does some of

how

that, mommy?”

let whoever it is in before I turn to

here to help me with chores” I answer him. My mind on who had come to

my guess was correct then it is either Letty or Ethan. Both have stopped by a couple of times to

do you need help? You’ve never needed it before, you’re super Mom” he looks at me

by myself. Even when I lived at Rowan’s mansion. I thought it would make him see me in a different light. That he would see that I am not as spoiled as Emma who couldn’t even boil water. That it would be a point against

me a little less if I made sure that all his meals were home cooked. That I could take care of my family and home

“Mommy?” he calls out.

he wanted answers, but I’m saved from that when Travis walks in to my room. He was the last person I wanted to talk to, but that doesn’t mean that

arrived

“Okay then

and he signs off. The moment he does, my smile slips from

told you, I never want to see you again” I school my

emotions.

foot to foot. “You’re my sister, I wanted to see how you’re

laugh humorlessly. “Sister? Are you sure, Travis, because as