Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

19. Nothing to give

I fix my hoodie so that I can look presentable instead of looking like I had a one on one with death.

“Why are you wearing a beanie, mommy” Noah looks at me suspiciously.

We were skyping after I had postponed it so many times. Mainly because I could barely keep my

eyes open for longer than five minutes. Today though, I was feeling much better

I leaned back against my headboard. The beanie was to hide the bandage. Noah still didn’t know

what happened to me and I would make sure he never does.

“It’s a bit cold and I’m feeling a bit chilly” I lie.

I feel guilty for lying to him, but I know it’s for the best. There was no need of worrying him.

“We have a heater mom, you could’ve just turned it on”

“It’s not working and I forgot to get someone to fix it”

Damn it, I hate lying to him. A part of me felt like I was being a terrible mother because it seems. I’ve done nothing but lie to him since father died. The other part though, understands that it’s

necessary. 3

“Okay then” he mumbles skeptically.

“So what did you do today?” I ask changing the subject.

Anything that he does excites me even though I’m not there to enjoy it with him. His happiness was my own and I would protect it at all cost.

The frown he had seconds ago transforms into a big smile.

“I saw dolphins today, I even swam with them…it was so fun!!” he shouts, his excitement contagious.

“I wish I was there to see you”

“Don’t worry mommy, grandma took a video. She said she’ll send it to you”

I nod my head at that. I had accepted the phone Rowan got me. Turns out he did more than buy me a new phone. He even replaced my sim card.

to check up on how I’m doing. I try to keep those calls short and impersonal. Like I said, I wanted

Emma at dad’s house?” his unexpected question pulls me back to

“What do you mean?”

+15 BONUS

and she was there sitting so close to him and holding his

so like

words don’t hurt but deep down they still do. Knowing that Rowan was already playing house with her brings back the pain I’ve tried

into thinking we’ve moved on? Then the moment we’re hit by

You’re going to have to ask your dad” I mumble, trying to hide

to Noah. Rowan saw it fit to flaunt his relationship with Emma in front of our son, so he’ll

we can be a family

that your father and I are

in front of Noah. Trying to give him the illusion that we loved each other. That we were okay. It was all a sham though. Rowan could barely stand me, but

Thinking that I could make him love me. That it would only be

to him. It was a biological process. While my feelings were involved, his weren’t. We never made love because he didn’t love me. What we did was fucking and even then he was careful not

him?” Noah asks the same question he demanded of his

ago.

to lie to him but I’ve

loving someone isn’t enough. You won’t understand it now but one day, when you’re older,

day he gets the kind of love Rowan

open door makes me

here to see you, Ava” Lydia

+15 BONUS

call me by my name instead of Miss or Madam. I am thankful that Letty convinced me to let her stay because,

for me. I don’t know how

is that,

whoever it is

Lydia. She’s here to help me with chores” I answer him. My mind on

Both have stopped by a couple of times to

do you need help? You’ve never needed it before,

Even when I lived at Rowan’s mansion. I thought it would make him see me in a different light. That he would

me a little less if I made sure that all his meals were home cooked. That I could take care of my

“Mommy?” he calls out.

to my room. He was the last person I wanted to talk to, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t use him as

you back…you uncle just arrived and I need to talk

sighs. “Okay then

and he signs off. The moment he does, my smile

told you, I never want to see you

emotions.

foot. “You’re my sister, I wanted to see how you’re

“Sister? Are you sure, Travis, because as far as