Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

19. Nothing to give

I fix my hoodie so that I can look presentable instead of looking like I had a one on one with death.

“Why are you wearing a beanie, mommy” Noah looks at me suspiciously.

We were skyping after I had postponed it so many times. Mainly because I could barely keep my

eyes open for longer than five minutes. Today though, I was feeling much better

I leaned back against my headboard. The beanie was to hide the bandage. Noah still didn’t know

what happened to me and I would make sure he never does.

“It’s a bit cold and I’m feeling a bit chilly” I lie.

I feel guilty for lying to him, but I know it’s for the best. There was no need of worrying him.

“We have a heater mom, you could’ve just turned it on”

“It’s not working and I forgot to get someone to fix it”

Damn it, I hate lying to him. A part of me felt like I was being a terrible mother because it seems. I’ve done nothing but lie to him since father died. The other part though, understands that it’s

necessary. 3

“Okay then” he mumbles skeptically.

“So what did you do today?” I ask changing the subject.

Anything that he does excites me even though I’m not there to enjoy it with him. His happiness was my own and I would protect it at all cost.

The frown he had seconds ago transforms into a big smile.

“I saw dolphins today, I even swam with them…it was so fun!!” he shouts, his excitement contagious.

“I wish I was there to see you”

“Don’t worry mommy, grandma took a video. She said she’ll send it to you”

I nod my head at that. I had accepted the phone Rowan got me. Turns out he did more than buy me a new phone. He even replaced my sim card.

I try to keep those calls short and impersonal. Like I said, I wanted to live in peace and Rowan meddling in my life would make sure I had anything but peace. Especially if Emma is

house?” his unexpected question pulls me back to the

“What do you mean?”

+15 BONUS

there sitting so close to him and holding

the frown that was so like his father’s

pretend that those words don’t hurt but deep down they still do. Knowing that Rowan was

we always fool ourselves into thinking we’ve moved on? Then the moment we’re hit

to ask your dad” I mumble, trying to hide how shaky my voice

explain things to Noah. Rowan saw it fit to flaunt his relationship with Emma in front of our son,

dad back together. So we can be a family again” he

that your father and I

to give him the illusion that we loved each other. That we were okay. It was all a sham though. Rowan could barely stand me, but

then. Thinking that I could make him love me. That it would only be a matter of time until he was

meant nothing to him. It was a biological process. While my feelings were involved, his weren’t. We never made love because he didn’t love me. What

same question he demanded of his

ago.

to him but I’ve

sometimes loving someone isn’t enough. You won’t understand it now but one day, when you’re older, you will” it’s the only response I

hope one day he gets the kind of love Rowan and Emma have. One that has

my open

here to see

+15 BONUS

me by my name instead of Miss or Madam. I am thankful that Letty convinced me to let her stay because,

for me. I don’t know how I would have

is that, mommy?”

is in before I turn to

with chores” I answer him. My mind

Ethan. Both have stopped by a

need help? You’ve never needed it before, you’re super Mom” he

me in a different light. That

stop hating me a little less if I made sure that all his meals

“Mommy?” he calls out.

my room. He was the last person I wanted to talk to, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t use

uncle just arrived and I need to talk

“Okay

The moment

never want to see you again” I

emotions.

from foot to foot. “You’re my sister, I wanted to see

laugh humorlessly. “Sister? Are you sure, Travis, because as far