Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

19. Nothing to give

I fix my hoodie so that I can look presentable instead of looking like I had a one on one with death.

“Why are you wearing a beanie, mommy” Noah looks at me suspiciously.

We were skyping after I had postponed it so many times. Mainly because I could barely keep my

eyes open for longer than five minutes. Today though, I was feeling much better

I leaned back against my headboard. The beanie was to hide the bandage. Noah still didn’t know

what happened to me and I would make sure he never does.

“It’s a bit cold and I’m feeling a bit chilly” I lie.

I feel guilty for lying to him, but I know it’s for the best. There was no need of worrying him.

“We have a heater mom, you could’ve just turned it on”

“It’s not working and I forgot to get someone to fix it”

Damn it, I hate lying to him. A part of me felt like I was being a terrible mother because it seems. I’ve done nothing but lie to him since father died. The other part though, understands that it’s

necessary. 3

“Okay then” he mumbles skeptically.

“So what did you do today?” I ask changing the subject.

Anything that he does excites me even though I’m not there to enjoy it with him. His happiness was my own and I would protect it at all cost.

The frown he had seconds ago transforms into a big smile.

“I saw dolphins today, I even swam with them…it was so fun!!” he shouts, his excitement contagious.

“I wish I was there to see you”

“Don’t worry mommy, grandma took a video. She said she’ll send it to you”

I nod my head at that. I had accepted the phone Rowan got me. Turns out he did more than buy me a new phone. He even replaced my sim card.

tried–avoiding Rowan as best as I can. He calls sometimes to check up on how I’m doing. I try to keep those calls short and impersonal. Like I said, I wanted to live in peace and Rowan meddling in my life would make

his unexpected question pulls me back to

“What do you mean?”

+15 BONUS

skyped dad yesterday and she was there sitting so close

that was so like his

hurt but deep down they still do. Knowing that Rowan was already playing house with her brings back the pain I’ve tried so hard to

we’re hit by

ask your dad” I mumble, trying to hide how shaky my voice is and how affected I am by

saw it fit to flaunt his relationship with Emma in front

be a family

father and

in front of Noah. Trying to give him the illusion that we loved each other. That we were okay.

when he said we should get married after I accidentally got pregnant. I was naïve back then. Thinking that I could make him love me. That it would only be a matter of time until he was in love with me like I was

and the keys were with Emma. Even when we were intimate, it meant nothing to him. It was a biological process. While my feelings were involved, his weren’t.

you love him?” Noah asks the same question he demanded

ago.

to lie to him but I’ve done enough of

but sometimes loving someone isn’t enough. You won’t understand it now but one day, when you’re older, you will” it’s

has to go through what I’m going through. I want him to love and be loved. As much as I hate to say this, I hope one day he gets the kind of love Rowan and Emma have. One

my open door makes me

see

+15 BONUS

gotten her to call me by my name instead of Miss or Madam. I am thankful that Letty convinced

I don’t know how I would have survived without

that,

tell her to let whoever it is in

a nice lady called Lydia. She’s here to help me with chores” I answer him. My mind on who had come

Both have stopped by a couple of times to check up on

you need help? You’ve never needed it

by myself. Even when I lived at Rowan’s mansion. I thought it would make him see me in a different light. That he would see that I am not as spoiled as Emma who couldn’t even boil water. That it would be a

less if I made sure

“Mommy?” he calls out.

was the last person I wanted to talk to, but that doesn’t mean

just arrived and I need to talk to

“Okay

signs off. The moment he

see you again” I school my features. Blocking

emotions.

foot to foot. “You’re my sister, I wanted

sure, Travis, because as far