Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

19. Nothing to give

I fix my hoodie so that I can look presentable instead of looking like I had a one on one with death.

“Why are you wearing a beanie, mommy” Noah looks at me suspiciously.

We were skyping after I had postponed it so many times. Mainly because I could barely keep my

eyes open for longer than five minutes. Today though, I was feeling much better

I leaned back against my headboard. The beanie was to hide the bandage. Noah still didn’t know

what happened to me and I would make sure he never does.

“It’s a bit cold and I’m feeling a bit chilly” I lie.

I feel guilty for lying to him, but I know it’s for the best. There was no need of worrying him.

“We have a heater mom, you could’ve just turned it on”

“It’s not working and I forgot to get someone to fix it”

Damn it, I hate lying to him. A part of me felt like I was being a terrible mother because it seems. I’ve done nothing but lie to him since father died. The other part though, understands that it’s

necessary. 3

“Okay then” he mumbles skeptically.

“So what did you do today?” I ask changing the subject.

Anything that he does excites me even though I’m not there to enjoy it with him. His happiness was my own and I would protect it at all cost.

The frown he had seconds ago transforms into a big smile.

“I saw dolphins today, I even swam with them…it was so fun!!” he shouts, his excitement contagious.

“I wish I was there to see you”

“Don’t worry mommy, grandma took a video. She said she’ll send it to you”

I nod my head at that. I had accepted the phone Rowan got me. Turns out he did more than buy me a new phone. He even replaced my sim card.

calls short and impersonal. Like I said, I wanted to live

at dad’s house?” his unexpected question

“What do you mean?”

+15 BONUS

she was there sitting so

the frown that was so like his father’s

down they still do. Knowing that Rowan was already

we always fool ourselves into thinking we’ve moved on? Then the moment we’re hit by a trigger all that

going to have to ask your dad” I mumble, trying to hide how shaky my

to explain things to Noah. Rowan saw it fit to flaunt his relationship with Emma in front of our son, so he’ll

dad back together. So we can be a family again” he

have to understand that your father and I are just too different to stay

Noah. Trying to give him the illusion that we loved each other. That we were okay. It was all a sham though. Rowan

we should get married after I accidentally got pregnant. I was naïve back then. Thinking that I could make him love me. That it

nothing to him. It was a biological process. While my feelings were involved, his weren’t. We never made love because he didn’t love me. What we did was

question he demanded of his father a couple

ago.

to lie to him but I’ve

do, but sometimes loving someone isn’t enough. You won’t understand it now but one day, when you’re older, you will” it’s the only response I

I hope one day he gets the kind of love Rowan and Emma have. One that has stood the test of time and it’s still burning bright. I pray that one day I’ll also find

my open door makes me look

see you,

+15 BONUS

thankful that Letty convinced me to let her stay because, she’s been

know how I would have survived without

that,

whoever it is in before

to help me with chores” I answer him. My

it is either Letty or Ethan. Both

needed it

lived at Rowan’s mansion. I thought it would make him see me in a different light. That he would see

if I made sure

“Mommy?” he calls out.

He was the last person I wanted to talk to, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t use him as a

I’ll call you back…you uncle just arrived

“Okay then

signs off. The moment he does, my

I told you, I never want to see you again” I

emotions.

“You’re my sister,

“Sister? Are you sure, Travis, because as far as I remember I