Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

19. Nothing to give

I fix my hoodie so that I can look presentable instead of looking like I had a one on one with death.

“Why are you wearing a beanie, mommy” Noah looks at me suspiciously.

We were skyping after I had postponed it so many times. Mainly because I could barely keep my

eyes open for longer than five minutes. Today though, I was feeling much better

I leaned back against my headboard. The beanie was to hide the bandage. Noah still didn’t know

what happened to me and I would make sure he never does.

“It’s a bit cold and I’m feeling a bit chilly” I lie.

I feel guilty for lying to him, but I know it’s for the best. There was no need of worrying him.

“We have a heater mom, you could’ve just turned it on”

“It’s not working and I forgot to get someone to fix it”

Damn it, I hate lying to him. A part of me felt like I was being a terrible mother because it seems. I’ve done nothing but lie to him since father died. The other part though, understands that it’s

necessary. 3

“Okay then” he mumbles skeptically.

“So what did you do today?” I ask changing the subject.

Anything that he does excites me even though I’m not there to enjoy it with him. His happiness was my own and I would protect it at all cost.

The frown he had seconds ago transforms into a big smile.

“I saw dolphins today, I even swam with them…it was so fun!!” he shouts, his excitement contagious.

“I wish I was there to see you”

“Don’t worry mommy, grandma took a video. She said she’ll send it to you”

I nod my head at that. I had accepted the phone Rowan got me. Turns out he did more than buy me a new phone. He even replaced my sim card.

to check up on how I’m doing. I try to keep those calls short and impersonal. Like I said, I wanted

at dad’s house?” his unexpected question pulls me

“What do you mean?”

+15 BONUS

and she was there sitting so close to

that was so like his father’s was now

hurt but deep down they still do. Knowing that Rowan was already playing house with her brings back the pain I’ve

is it that we always fool ourselves into thinking we’ve moved on? Then the moment we’re hit by a trigger all that

I mumble, trying to hide how

fit to flaunt his relationship with Emma in front of our son, so he’ll be the one

you and dad back together. So we can be a family again”

your father and I are

give him the illusion that we loved each other. That we were okay. It was all a sham though. Rowan

I wish I had refused him when he said we should get married after I accidentally got pregnant. I was naïve back then. Thinking that I could make him love me. That it would only be a matter of time until

his weren’t. We never made love because he didn’t love me. What we did was fucking and even then he was careful not to get me pregnant. Not to

love him?” Noah asks the same question he demanded of his father a couple of

ago.

him

isn’t enough. You won’t understand it now but

this, I hope one day he gets the kind of love Rowan and Emma have. One that has stood the test of time and it’s still burning bright. I pray

on my open door makes me

see you,

+15 BONUS

name instead of Miss or Madam. I am thankful that Letty

I don’t know how I would have survived

is that,

it is in before I turn to my

with chores”

is either Letty or Ethan. Both have stopped by a couple of times to check up

never needed it before, you’re super Mom” he looks

everything by myself. Even when I lived at Rowan’s mansion. I thought it would make him see me in a different light. That he would see that

It didn’t fucking matter to him. I was so st* pid to think that he would stop hating me a little less if I made sure that all his meals were home cooked. That I could take care of my family and home and still be

“Mommy?” he calls out.

He was the last person I wanted to talk to, but that doesn’t

I’ll call you back…you uncle just arrived and I need to talk

“Okay

and he signs off. The moment he does, my smile slips from my

never want to see you again”

emotions.

shifts nervously from foot to foot. “You’re my sister, I wanted to see how

“Sister? Are you sure, Travis, because as far as I