Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

19. Nothing to give

I fix my hoodie so that I can look presentable instead of looking like I had a one on one with death.

“Why are you wearing a beanie, mommy” Noah looks at me suspiciously.

We were skyping after I had postponed it so many times. Mainly because I could barely keep my

eyes open for longer than five minutes. Today though, I was feeling much better

I leaned back against my headboard. The beanie was to hide the bandage. Noah still didn’t know

what happened to me and I would make sure he never does.

“It’s a bit cold and I’m feeling a bit chilly” I lie.

I feel guilty for lying to him, but I know it’s for the best. There was no need of worrying him.

“We have a heater mom, you could’ve just turned it on”

“It’s not working and I forgot to get someone to fix it”

Damn it, I hate lying to him. A part of me felt like I was being a terrible mother because it seems. I’ve done nothing but lie to him since father died. The other part though, understands that it’s

necessary. 3

“Okay then” he mumbles skeptically.

“So what did you do today?” I ask changing the subject.

Anything that he does excites me even though I’m not there to enjoy it with him. His happiness was my own and I would protect it at all cost.

The frown he had seconds ago transforms into a big smile.

“I saw dolphins today, I even swam with them…it was so fun!!” he shouts, his excitement contagious.

“I wish I was there to see you”

“Don’t worry mommy, grandma took a video. She said she’ll send it to you”

I nod my head at that. I had accepted the phone Rowan got me. Turns out he did more than buy me a new phone. He even replaced my sim card.

up on how I’m doing. I try to keep those calls short and impersonal. Like I said, I wanted to live in peace and Rowan

his unexpected question pulls

“What do you mean?”

+15 BONUS

she was there sitting so close

frown that was so like his father’s

pretend that those words don’t hurt but deep down they still do. Knowing that Rowan was already playing house with her brings back the

we always fool ourselves into thinking we’ve moved on? Then the moment we’re hit by

You’re going to have to ask your dad” I mumble, trying to hide how shaky my voice is and how affected I am by

going to explain things to Noah. Rowan saw it fit to flaunt his relationship with Emma in front of our son, so he’ll be the one to explain

you and dad back together. So we can be a family again” he is sad and it breaks my already

and I are just too different

give him the illusion that we loved each other. That we were okay. It was

said we should get married after I accidentally got pregnant. I was naïve back then. Thinking that I could make him

and the keys were with Emma. Even when we were intimate, it meant nothing to him. It was a biological process. While my feelings were involved, his weren’t. We never made love because he didn’t love me. What we did was fucking and even then he was careful not to

him?” Noah asks the same question he demanded of his father a

ago.

to him but

loving someone isn’t enough. You won’t understand it now but one day, when you’re older, you

has to go through what I’m going through. I want him to love and be loved. As much as I hate to say this, I hope one day he gets the kind of love Rowan and

my open door makes me look

to see you,

+15 BONUS

my name instead of Miss or Madam. I am thankful that Letty convinced me to

how I would have survived without

that, mommy?”

it is in before I turn to my

me with chores” I answer

guess was correct then it is either Letty or Ethan. Both have stopped by a couple of times to check up

needed it before, you’re super Mom” he looks at

always did everything by myself. Even when I lived at Rowan’s mansion. I thought it would make him see me in a different light. That he would see that I am not

to think that he would stop hating me a little less if I made sure that all his meals were home cooked. That I could

“Mommy?” he calls out.

wanted answers, but I’m saved from that when Travis walks in to my room. He was the last person I wanted to talk to, but

arrived and I need to talk

“Okay

off. The moment he

see

emotions.

to foot. “You’re my sister, I wanted to see

laugh humorlessly. “Sister? Are you sure, Travis, because as far as I remember