Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

19. Nothing to give

I fix my hoodie so that I can look presentable instead of looking like I had a one on one with death.

“Why are you wearing a beanie, mommy” Noah looks at me suspiciously.

We were skyping after I had postponed it so many times. Mainly because I could barely keep my

eyes open for longer than five minutes. Today though, I was feeling much better

I leaned back against my headboard. The beanie was to hide the bandage. Noah still didn’t know

what happened to me and I would make sure he never does.

“It’s a bit cold and I’m feeling a bit chilly” I lie.

I feel guilty for lying to him, but I know it’s for the best. There was no need of worrying him.

“We have a heater mom, you could’ve just turned it on”

“It’s not working and I forgot to get someone to fix it”

Damn it, I hate lying to him. A part of me felt like I was being a terrible mother because it seems. I’ve done nothing but lie to him since father died. The other part though, understands that it’s

necessary. 3

“Okay then” he mumbles skeptically.

“So what did you do today?” I ask changing the subject.

Anything that he does excites me even though I’m not there to enjoy it with him. His happiness was my own and I would protect it at all cost.

The frown he had seconds ago transforms into a big smile.

“I saw dolphins today, I even swam with them…it was so fun!!” he shouts, his excitement contagious.

“I wish I was there to see you”

“Don’t worry mommy, grandma took a video. She said she’ll send it to you”

I nod my head at that. I had accepted the phone Rowan got me. Turns out he did more than buy me a new phone. He even replaced my sim card.

Like I

Emma at dad’s house?” his unexpected

“What do you mean?”

+15 BONUS

and she was there sitting so close

that was so like his father’s was now back

down they still do. Knowing that Rowan

ourselves into thinking we’ve moved on? Then the moment we’re hit by a

I mumble, trying to hide how shaky my voice is and

with Emma in front of our son, so he’ll be the one to

we can be a family again” he is sad and it breaks my already broken

and I

him the illusion that we loved each other. That we were okay. It was all a sham

refused him when he said we should get married after I accidentally got pregnant. I was naïve back then. Thinking that I could make him love me. That it would only be a matter of time until he was in

was a biological process. While my feelings were involved, his weren’t. We never made love because he didn’t love me. What we did was fucking and even then

him?” Noah asks the same question he demanded of his

ago.

lie to him but I’ve done enough of

it now but one day,

want him to love and be loved. As much as I hate to say this, I hope one day he gets the kind of love Rowan and Emma have. One that has stood the

on my open door makes me

to see you, Ava” Lydia

+15 BONUS

or Madam. I am thankful that Letty convinced me to let her stay because, she’s been such a huge

know how I would

is that, mommy?”

is in

lady called Lydia. She’s here to help me with

Ethan. Both have stopped by a

You’ve never needed it before, you’re super Mom” he

him see me in a different light. That he would see that I am not as spoiled as Emma who couldn’t even boil water. That

would stop hating me a little less if I made sure that all his meals were home cooked. That I could take care of my family

“Mommy?” he calls out.

but I’m saved from that when Travis walks in to my room. He was

back…you uncle just arrived and I need to

“Okay then

say our goodbyes and he signs off. The

told you, I never want to see you again”

emotions.

foot to foot. “You’re my

Are you sure, Travis, because as far as I remember I haven’t