Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

19. Nothing to give

I fix my hoodie so that I can look presentable instead of looking like I had a one on one with death.

“Why are you wearing a beanie, mommy” Noah looks at me suspiciously.

We were skyping after I had postponed it so many times. Mainly because I could barely keep my

eyes open for longer than five minutes. Today though, I was feeling much better

I leaned back against my headboard. The beanie was to hide the bandage. Noah still didn’t know

what happened to me and I would make sure he never does.

“It’s a bit cold and I’m feeling a bit chilly” I lie.

I feel guilty for lying to him, but I know it’s for the best. There was no need of worrying him.

“We have a heater mom, you could’ve just turned it on”

“It’s not working and I forgot to get someone to fix it”

Damn it, I hate lying to him. A part of me felt like I was being a terrible mother because it seems. I’ve done nothing but lie to him since father died. The other part though, understands that it’s

necessary. 3

“Okay then” he mumbles skeptically.

“So what did you do today?” I ask changing the subject.

Anything that he does excites me even though I’m not there to enjoy it with him. His happiness was my own and I would protect it at all cost.

The frown he had seconds ago transforms into a big smile.

“I saw dolphins today, I even swam with them…it was so fun!!” he shouts, his excitement contagious.

“I wish I was there to see you”

“Don’t worry mommy, grandma took a video. She said she’ll send it to you”

I nod my head at that. I had accepted the phone Rowan got me. Turns out he did more than buy me a new phone. He even replaced my sim card.

check up on how I’m doing. I try to keep those calls short and impersonal. Like I said, I wanted to live in peace and Rowan meddling in my life would make sure I had anything but peace. Especially

at dad’s house?” his unexpected

“What do you mean?”

+15 BONUS

and she was there sitting so

frown that was so like his

they still do. Knowing that Rowan was already playing house with her brings

is it that we always fool ourselves into thinking we’ve moved on? Then the moment we’re hit by a trigger all that

to ask your dad” I mumble, trying to hide how shaky my

to explain things to Noah. Rowan saw it fit to flaunt his relationship with Emma in front of our son, so

be a

to understand that your father and I are just too different

of Noah. Trying to give him the illusion that we loved each other. That we were

get married after I accidentally got pregnant. I was naïve back then. Thinking that I could make him love me. That

his heart and the keys were with Emma. Even when we were intimate, it meant nothing to him. It was a biological process. While my feelings were involved, his weren’t. We never made

same question he demanded of his father

ago.

to lie to him but I’ve

it now but one day, when you’re older, you will” it’s the

to God he never has to go through what I’m going through. I want him to love and be loved. As much as I hate to say this, I hope one day he gets the kind of love Rowan and Emma have. One that has stood the test of time

knock on my open

see you, Ava” Lydia

+15 BONUS

her to call me by my name instead of Miss or Madam. I am thankful that Letty convinced me to let her stay because, she’s been such a

know how I would have survived

is that, mommy?”

her to let whoever it is in before I turn to my

nice lady called Lydia. She’s here to help me with chores” I

Ethan. Both

it before, you’re

when I lived at Rowan’s mansion. I thought it would make him see me in a different light. That he would

was I. It didn’t fucking matter to him. I was so st* pid to think that he would stop hating me a little less if I made sure that all his meals were home cooked. That

“Mommy?” he calls out.

I’m saved from that when Travis walks in to my room. He was the last person I wanted to talk to, but that

back…you uncle just arrived and

“Okay then

The moment he does, my smile slips

never want to see you again” I school my

emotions.

shifts nervously from foot to foot. “You’re my

humorlessly. “Sister? Are you sure, Travis, because