Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

19. Nothing to give

I fix my hoodie so that I can look presentable instead of looking like I had a one on one with death.

“Why are you wearing a beanie, mommy” Noah looks at me suspiciously.

We were skyping after I had postponed it so many times. Mainly because I could barely keep my

eyes open for longer than five minutes. Today though, I was feeling much better

I leaned back against my headboard. The beanie was to hide the bandage. Noah still didn’t know

what happened to me and I would make sure he never does.

“It’s a bit cold and I’m feeling a bit chilly” I lie.

I feel guilty for lying to him, but I know it’s for the best. There was no need of worrying him.

“We have a heater mom, you could’ve just turned it on”

“It’s not working and I forgot to get someone to fix it”

Damn it, I hate lying to him. A part of me felt like I was being a terrible mother because it seems. I’ve done nothing but lie to him since father died. The other part though, understands that it’s

necessary. 3

“Okay then” he mumbles skeptically.

“So what did you do today?” I ask changing the subject.

Anything that he does excites me even though I’m not there to enjoy it with him. His happiness was my own and I would protect it at all cost.

The frown he had seconds ago transforms into a big smile.

“I saw dolphins today, I even swam with them…it was so fun!!” he shouts, his excitement contagious.

“I wish I was there to see you”

“Don’t worry mommy, grandma took a video. She said she’ll send it to you”

I nod my head at that. I had accepted the phone Rowan got me. Turns out he did more than buy me a new phone. He even replaced my sim card.

keep those calls short and impersonal. Like I said, I wanted to live in peace and Rowan meddling in my life would make sure I had anything but peace. Especially

Emma at dad’s house?” his

“What do you mean?”

+15 BONUS

and she was there sitting so close to him and holding

like his

deep down they still do. Knowing that

moved on? Then the moment we’re hit by a trigger all that pretense crumbles and the pain is a hundred

trying to hide how shaky my voice is and

explain things to Noah. Rowan saw it fit to flaunt his relationship with Emma in front of our son, so

together. So we can be a family again” he is sad and it breaks

have to understand that your father and I are just too

Trying to give him the illusion that we loved each other. That we were okay. It

he said we should get married after I accidentally got pregnant. I was naïve back then. Thinking that I could make him love me. That it would only be

It was a biological process. While my feelings were involved, his weren’t. We never made love because he didn’t love me. What we did was

the same question he

ago.

want to lie to him but I’ve done enough of

but sometimes loving someone isn’t enough. You won’t understand it now but one day, when you’re

hate to say this, I hope one day he gets the kind of love Rowan and Emma

open door makes me look

see you,

+15 BONUS

Miss or Madam. I am thankful that Letty convinced me to let her

I don’t know how I would have

that, mommy?”

is

nice lady called Lydia. She’s here to help me with

was correct then it is either Letty or Ethan. Both have stopped by a couple of times to

never needed it before, you’re super Mom” he looks

I thought it would make him see me in a different light. That he would see that I am not as spoiled as Emma who couldn’t even boil water.

that he would stop hating me a little less if I made sure

“Mommy?” he calls out.

He was the last person I wanted to talk

arrived and I

sighs. “Okay

goodbyes and he signs off. The moment he does, my smile slips

want to see you again” I school my features. Blocking

emotions.

foot. “You’re my sister, I wanted

you sure, Travis, because as far as I remember I