Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

19. Nothing to give

I fix my hoodie so that I can look presentable instead of looking like I had a one on one with death.

“Why are you wearing a beanie, mommy” Noah looks at me suspiciously.

We were skyping after I had postponed it so many times. Mainly because I could barely keep my

eyes open for longer than five minutes. Today though, I was feeling much better

I leaned back against my headboard. The beanie was to hide the bandage. Noah still didn’t know

what happened to me and I would make sure he never does.

“It’s a bit cold and I’m feeling a bit chilly” I lie.

I feel guilty for lying to him, but I know it’s for the best. There was no need of worrying him.

“We have a heater mom, you could’ve just turned it on”

“It’s not working and I forgot to get someone to fix it”

Damn it, I hate lying to him. A part of me felt like I was being a terrible mother because it seems. I’ve done nothing but lie to him since father died. The other part though, understands that it’s

necessary. 3

“Okay then” he mumbles skeptically.

“So what did you do today?” I ask changing the subject.

Anything that he does excites me even though I’m not there to enjoy it with him. His happiness was my own and I would protect it at all cost.

The frown he had seconds ago transforms into a big smile.

“I saw dolphins today, I even swam with them…it was so fun!!” he shouts, his excitement contagious.

“I wish I was there to see you”

“Don’t worry mommy, grandma took a video. She said she’ll send it to you”

I nod my head at that. I had accepted the phone Rowan got me. Turns out he did more than buy me a new phone. He even replaced my sim card.

those calls short and impersonal. Like I said,

his unexpected question pulls me

“What do you mean?”

+15 BONUS

she was there sitting so close

the frown that was so like his father’s was

deep down they still do. Knowing that Rowan was already playing house with her brings back the

we always fool ourselves into thinking we’ve moved on? Then the moment we’re hit by

dad” I mumble, trying to hide how shaky my voice is and how affected I am by his

wasn’t going to explain things to Noah. Rowan saw it fit to flaunt his relationship with Emma in front of our son, so he’ll be the one to explain things to

want you and dad back together. So we can be a family again” he is sad

you have to understand that your father and I

Noah. Trying to give him the illusion that we loved each other. That we were okay. It was

wish I had refused him when he said we should get married after I accidentally got pregnant. I was naïve back then. Thinking that I could make him love me. That

with Emma. Even when we were intimate, it meant nothing to him. It was a biological process. While my feelings were involved, his weren’t. We never made love because he didn’t love me. What we did was fucking and even then he was careful not to get me pregnant. Not to make

the same question he demanded of his father a

ago.

him

You won’t understand it now but one day, when you’re older, you will” it’s

as I hate to say this, I hope one day he gets the kind of love Rowan and Emma have.

knock on my open door makes

here to see you, Ava” Lydia

+15 BONUS

thankful that Letty convinced me to let her stay because, she’s been

know how I would have survived

that,

it is

help me with chores” I answer

was correct then it is either Letty or Ethan. Both have stopped by a couple of times

do you need help? You’ve never needed it before, you’re super Mom”

Rowan’s mansion. I thought it would make him see me in a different light.

stop hating me a little less if I made sure that all his meals were home cooked. That I could take care of my family and home and still

“Mommy?” he calls out.

walks in to my room. He was the last person

uncle just arrived and

sighs. “Okay

goodbyes and he signs off. The moment he does,

to see you again” I school my features.

emotions.

“You’re my sister, I

Travis, because as far as I remember I haven’t