Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

19. Nothing to give

I fix my hoodie so that I can look presentable instead of looking like I had a one on one with death.

“Why are you wearing a beanie, mommy” Noah looks at me suspiciously.

We were skyping after I had postponed it so many times. Mainly because I could barely keep my

eyes open for longer than five minutes. Today though, I was feeling much better

I leaned back against my headboard. The beanie was to hide the bandage. Noah still didn’t know

what happened to me and I would make sure he never does.

“It’s a bit cold and I’m feeling a bit chilly” I lie.

I feel guilty for lying to him, but I know it’s for the best. There was no need of worrying him.

“We have a heater mom, you could’ve just turned it on”

“It’s not working and I forgot to get someone to fix it”

Damn it, I hate lying to him. A part of me felt like I was being a terrible mother because it seems. I’ve done nothing but lie to him since father died. The other part though, understands that it’s

necessary. 3

“Okay then” he mumbles skeptically.

“So what did you do today?” I ask changing the subject.

Anything that he does excites me even though I’m not there to enjoy it with him. His happiness was my own and I would protect it at all cost.

The frown he had seconds ago transforms into a big smile.

“I saw dolphins today, I even swam with them…it was so fun!!” he shouts, his excitement contagious.

“I wish I was there to see you”

“Don’t worry mommy, grandma took a video. She said she’ll send it to you”

I nod my head at that. I had accepted the phone Rowan got me. Turns out he did more than buy me a new phone. He even replaced my sim card.

tried–avoiding Rowan as best as I can. He calls sometimes to check up on how I’m doing. I try to keep those calls short and impersonal. Like I said, I wanted to live in peace and

dad’s house?” his unexpected question pulls me

“What do you mean?”

+15 BONUS

she was there sitting so close to him and holding

that was so like his father’s

that Rowan was already playing

on? Then the moment we’re hit by a trigger all that pretense crumbles

know, my love. You’re going to have to ask your dad” I mumble, trying to hide

flaunt his relationship with Emma in front of our son, so he’ll

you and dad back together. So we can be a family again” he is sad and it

and I are just

each other. That we were okay. It was all a sham though. Rowan could barely

married after I accidentally got pregnant. I was naïve back then. Thinking that I could make him love me. That it would only be a matter of time until he

the keys were with Emma. Even when we were intimate, it meant nothing to him. It was a biological process. While my feelings were involved, his weren’t. We never made love because he didn’t love me. What we did was fucking and even then he was careful not to get me pregnant. Not to make the same mistake

same question

ago.

to him

You won’t understand it now but one day, when you’re older,

to go through what I’m going through. I want him to love and be loved. As much as I hate to say this, I hope one day he gets the kind of love Rowan and Emma have. One that has stood the test of time and it’s still burning bright. I

knock on my open door makes

see you, Ava”

+15 BONUS

to call me by my name instead of Miss or Madam. I am thankful that Letty convinced me to let her stay because, she’s been such a huge help. She even does some

don’t know how I would have survived

that, mommy?”

is in before I turn to

to help me with chores” I answer him. My mind

or Ethan. Both have stopped by a couple of times to check up on

never needed it before, you’re super Mom”

I lived at Rowan’s mansion. I thought it would make him see me in a different light.

think that he would stop hating me a little less if I made sure that all his meals were home cooked. That I could

“Mommy?” he calls out.

wanted answers, but I’m saved from that when Travis walks in to my room. He was the last person I wanted to talk to, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t use him as a

back…you uncle just arrived and I

sighs. “Okay then

and he signs off. The moment he does, my smile

I never want to see you again” I school my features.

emotions.

“You’re my sister, I wanted to

Are you sure, Travis, because as far as I