Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

19. Nothing to give

I fix my hoodie so that I can look presentable instead of looking like I had a one on one with death.

“Why are you wearing a beanie, mommy” Noah looks at me suspiciously.

We were skyping after I had postponed it so many times. Mainly because I could barely keep my

eyes open for longer than five minutes. Today though, I was feeling much better

I leaned back against my headboard. The beanie was to hide the bandage. Noah still didn’t know

what happened to me and I would make sure he never does.

“It’s a bit cold and I’m feeling a bit chilly” I lie.

I feel guilty for lying to him, but I know it’s for the best. There was no need of worrying him.

“We have a heater mom, you could’ve just turned it on”

“It’s not working and I forgot to get someone to fix it”

Damn it, I hate lying to him. A part of me felt like I was being a terrible mother because it seems. I’ve done nothing but lie to him since father died. The other part though, understands that it’s

necessary. 3

“Okay then” he mumbles skeptically.

“So what did you do today?” I ask changing the subject.

Anything that he does excites me even though I’m not there to enjoy it with him. His happiness was my own and I would protect it at all cost.

The frown he had seconds ago transforms into a big smile.

“I saw dolphins today, I even swam with them…it was so fun!!” he shouts, his excitement contagious.

“I wish I was there to see you”

“Don’t worry mommy, grandma took a video. She said she’ll send it to you”

I nod my head at that. I had accepted the phone Rowan got me. Turns out he did more than buy me a new phone. He even replaced my sim card.

calls sometimes to check up on how I’m doing. I try to keep those calls short and impersonal. Like I said, I wanted to live in peace and Rowan meddling

why was Emma at dad’s house?” his unexpected question pulls me back to

“What do you mean?”

+15 BONUS

she was there sitting

the frown that was so like his father’s was now

want to pretend that those words don’t hurt but deep down they still do. Knowing that Rowan was already playing house

we’ve moved on? Then the moment we’re hit by a trigger all that

my love. You’re going to have to ask your dad” I mumble, trying to hide how

to explain things to Noah. Rowan saw it fit to flaunt his relationship with Emma in front

want you and dad back together. So we can be a family again” he is

father and I are just

we were okay. It was

wish I had refused him when he said we should get married after I accidentally got pregnant. I was naïve back then. Thinking that I could make him love me. That it would only be

the keys were with Emma. Even when we were intimate, it meant nothing to him. It was a biological process. While my feelings were involved, his weren’t. We never made love because he didn’t love me. What we did

asks the same question he demanded of his

ago.

want to lie to him but I’ve

but sometimes loving someone isn’t enough. You won’t understand it now but one day, when you’re older, you will” it’s the only

go through what I’m going through. I want him to love and be loved. As much as I hate to say this, I hope one day he gets the kind of love Rowan and Emma have. One that has stood the test of time and it’s still burning bright. I pray that one day

on my open door makes me look

here to see

+15 BONUS

Miss or Madam. I am thankful that Letty convinced

know how I would have

that,

is in before

She’s here to help me with chores” I answer him. My

Both have stopped by a couple of times

it before, you’re super Mom” he looks

would make him see me in a different light. That he would see that I am not as spoiled as

stop hating me a little less if I made sure that all

“Mommy?” he calls out.

room. He was the last person I wanted to talk

call you back…you uncle just arrived and I

sighs. “Okay then

he signs off. The moment he does, my smile slips from

see you

emotions.

foot. “You’re my sister, I wanted to see

humorlessly. “Sister? Are you sure, Travis, because as far as I remember