Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

54. The Howell’s

It was almost noon when I wake up. At first I thought that everything was as it was supposed to

be, but then everything comes crashing down on me. It wasn’t a bad dream like I had thought.

Ethan had really betrayed me.

I feel my tears well up. I cried myself to sleep yesterday and I was just so damn tired of crying. I

went to bed wishing that it would all change when I woke up. Praying for a miracle, but here I am.

Nothing’s changed. What I wanted to be nothing but a nightmare, was now my reality.

I slowly get out of bed. I had no energy to do anything, but I also knew I couldn’t sleep and wallow

in bed all day.

I take a long shower hoping it will make things better. It doesn’t. I don’t think anything can make

everything that happened better.

After dressing in a t–shirt and some yoga pants, I go to the kitchen for something to eat. I was just

taking out some eggs when my doorbell rang. I heave a sigh of defeat. I wasn’t in the mood to see

anyone. I just wanted to be left alone.

“Hi” Letty says with a small smile when I open the door.

She looks as tired and worn as I am. Hers is probably more physical unlike mine which is both

physical and psychological.

“Hi Letty” I stand awkwardly at the door.

I didn’t want to be rude but I also didn’t want anyone near me or around me. Like I said, I wanted to

be left alone to come to terms with all that I learned yesterday.

“I know you probably don’t to see anyone right now, but can I please come in?” she pleads.

It still surprises me how well we’ve come to know each other. It’s like we’ve known each other for

years, instead of months.

I let out a breath. “Yeah sure”

It as she walks in that I notice she has a couple of boxes with her.

“Food” she says and I nod.

am grateful. I really didn’t feel like cooking even though

1/4

+15 BONUS

down on

boxes of food.

as we eat. Both of us seemingly lost

Ava. This can’t be easy

eating.

I was okay.

to pretend most of the

crosses my mind, I push it away. I needed to talk because I felt like

drowning.

hard time accepting that Ethan isn’t the man I thought he

that the people I thought were my family aren’t really

know which of the two was harder to accept. I keep asking myself

for me. If life would have been great had I

would have saved me from ever meeting Rowan,

be different had I not met Rowan,

immediately. I would do everything all over again if it meant having my son

than ever I wish Noah was

anchor.

imagine all you must be feeling.

comfort” Letty says, pulling me

at her and smile a little. She really wasn’t good at comforting someone or making them

though. Her realness was better

feel.

know, Letty. I’m just having a hard time. Not to mention that it hurts. I

gotten a guy that would love

blossom into anything, it gets ripped away from me” I blink away the tears,

for a man that played and

is worse. Rowan for using me for S** while he

using me for S** while he planned on

2/4

+15 15

don’t want to come out as rude but I’m gonna hit you with

what you were thinking the whole time, then I would have put a stop

are you talking

to love you” She sighs again. “How do I put this out without hurting you further you went into

someone else. You can’t think that a man

Rowan and

to say anything before

fall into place. The only person who can fill that hole in your heart is you You alone can love yourself the way you want to be loved. You have to love yourself first and judging from

back of the couch

wrong” I glare at her feeling a bit attacked

“Am 17”

her.

sure‘ an inner voice

I force

looking for love after you divorced? Why did every sentence you said about moving on consist of finding someone to love you? You can’t