Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

54. The Howell’s

It was almost noon when I wake up. At first I thought that everything was as it was supposed to

be, but then everything comes crashing down on me. It wasn’t a bad dream like I had thought.

Ethan had really betrayed me.

I feel my tears well up. I cried myself to sleep yesterday and I was just so damn tired of crying. I

went to bed wishing that it would all change when I woke up. Praying for a miracle, but here I am.

Nothing’s changed. What I wanted to be nothing but a nightmare, was now my reality.

I slowly get out of bed. I had no energy to do anything, but I also knew I couldn’t sleep and wallow

in bed all day.

I take a long shower hoping it will make things better. It doesn’t. I don’t think anything can make

everything that happened better.

After dressing in a t–shirt and some yoga pants, I go to the kitchen for something to eat. I was just

taking out some eggs when my doorbell rang. I heave a sigh of defeat. I wasn’t in the mood to see

anyone. I just wanted to be left alone.

“Hi” Letty says with a small smile when I open the door.

She looks as tired and worn as I am. Hers is probably more physical unlike mine which is both

physical and psychological.

“Hi Letty” I stand awkwardly at the door.

I didn’t want to be rude but I also didn’t want anyone near me or around me. Like I said, I wanted to

be left alone to come to terms with all that I learned yesterday.

“I know you probably don’t to see anyone right now, but can I please come in?” she pleads.

It still surprises me how well we’ve come to know each other. It’s like we’ve known each other for

years, instead of months.

I let out a breath. “Yeah sure”

It as she walks in that I notice she has a couple of boxes with her.

“Food” she says and I nod.

feel like

1/4

+15 BONUS

down on

boxes of food.

in. We don’t talk as we eat. Both of

how are you? I’m worried about you Ava. This can’t be

eating.

think about lying to her that I was okay. Just to get her off my back. Besides,

easier to pretend most of the time than

mind, I push it away. I needed to talk because I felt

drowning.

time accepting

were my

know which of the two was harder to accept. I keep asking myself if things

have been great had I been raised by my real

ever meeting Rowan, but then I would never have had Noah.

things would be different had I not met Rowan,

everything all over again if it meant having my son in my

ever I wish Noah was here with me.

anchor.

even begin to imagine all you must be feeling. I don’t

Letty says, pulling me back from my

and smile a little. She really

mind that though. Her realness was

feel.

know, Letty. I’m just having a hard time. Not to mention

finally gotten a guy that would love me

away from me” I

Especially for a man that played

who is worse. Rowan for using me for S** while he

still using me for S** while he planned

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as rude but I’m

you were thinking the whole time, then I would have put a stop

are you

out without hurting you further you went into a relationship with Ethan wanting

you whole expectation on someone else. You can’t think that a

and you family

get to say anything before she

place. The only person who can fill that hole in your

back of the couch

wrong” I glare at her feeling a bit attacked

“Am 17”

want to argue with her. Of course I

you sure‘ an inner

I force

want Rowan to love you? Why did go looking for love after you divorced? Why did every sentence you said about moving on consist of finding someone