Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

54. The Howell’s

It was almost noon when I wake up. At first I thought that everything was as it was supposed to

be, but then everything comes crashing down on me. It wasn’t a bad dream like I had thought.

Ethan had really betrayed me.

I feel my tears well up. I cried myself to sleep yesterday and I was just so damn tired of crying. I

went to bed wishing that it would all change when I woke up. Praying for a miracle, but here I am.

Nothing’s changed. What I wanted to be nothing but a nightmare, was now my reality.

I slowly get out of bed. I had no energy to do anything, but I also knew I couldn’t sleep and wallow

in bed all day.

I take a long shower hoping it will make things better. It doesn’t. I don’t think anything can make

everything that happened better.

After dressing in a t–shirt and some yoga pants, I go to the kitchen for something to eat. I was just

taking out some eggs when my doorbell rang. I heave a sigh of defeat. I wasn’t in the mood to see

anyone. I just wanted to be left alone.

“Hi” Letty says with a small smile when I open the door.

She looks as tired and worn as I am. Hers is probably more physical unlike mine which is both

physical and psychological.

“Hi Letty” I stand awkwardly at the door.

I didn’t want to be rude but I also didn’t want anyone near me or around me. Like I said, I wanted to

be left alone to come to terms with all that I learned yesterday.

“I know you probably don’t to see anyone right now, but can I please come in?” she pleads.

It still surprises me how well we’ve come to know each other. It’s like we’ve known each other for

years, instead of months.

I let out a breath. “Yeah sure”

It as she walks in that I notice she has a couple of boxes with her.

“Food” she says and I nod.

grateful. I really didn’t feel like cooking even though

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room instead. Seating down on the big sofa, Letty joins

boxes of food.

don’t talk as we eat. Both of us seemingly lost

can’t be easy for you” she says after

eating.

to her that I was

most of

it away. I needed to talk because I felt like

drowning.

I begin. “I’m still having a hard time

I thought were

was harder to

better for me. If life would have been

have saved me from ever meeting Rowan, but then I would never

of how things would be different had

again if it meant having

than ever I wish Noah was

anchor.

must be feeling. I don’t even know where to

says, pulling me back from my

at her and smile a little. She really wasn’t

I don’t mind that though. Her realness was better than someone pretending

feel.

a hard time. Not to mention that it hurts. I was finally

on, you know? I thought that I’d finally gotten a guy that would love me and

away from me” I blink away the tears, not wanting to

for a man

for using me for S**

me and still using me for S** while he planned

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to come out as rude but I’m gonna hit you with the truth.

time, then I would have put

you talking

“How do I put this out without hurting you further

someone else. You can’t think

and you family

get to say anything

it until now. You think when you find the man that will love you then everything will fall into place. The only person who can fill that hole in your heart is you You alone can love yourself the way you want to be loved. You have to

back of the couch

glare at her feeling a bit attacked

“Am 17”

with her. Of

you sure‘ an

I force

for love after you divorced? Why did every sentence you said about moving on consist of finding someone to love you? You can’t expect someone