Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

54. The Howell’s

It was almost noon when I wake up. At first I thought that everything was as it was supposed to

be, but then everything comes crashing down on me. It wasn’t a bad dream like I had thought.

Ethan had really betrayed me.

I feel my tears well up. I cried myself to sleep yesterday and I was just so damn tired of crying. I

went to bed wishing that it would all change when I woke up. Praying for a miracle, but here I am.

Nothing’s changed. What I wanted to be nothing but a nightmare, was now my reality.

I slowly get out of bed. I had no energy to do anything, but I also knew I couldn’t sleep and wallow

in bed all day.

I take a long shower hoping it will make things better. It doesn’t. I don’t think anything can make

everything that happened better.

After dressing in a t–shirt and some yoga pants, I go to the kitchen for something to eat. I was just

taking out some eggs when my doorbell rang. I heave a sigh of defeat. I wasn’t in the mood to see

anyone. I just wanted to be left alone.

“Hi” Letty says with a small smile when I open the door.

She looks as tired and worn as I am. Hers is probably more physical unlike mine which is both

physical and psychological.

“Hi Letty” I stand awkwardly at the door.

I didn’t want to be rude but I also didn’t want anyone near me or around me. Like I said, I wanted to

be left alone to come to terms with all that I learned yesterday.

“I know you probably don’t to see anyone right now, but can I please come in?” she pleads.

It still surprises me how well we’ve come to know each other. It’s like we’ve known each other for

years, instead of months.

I let out a breath. “Yeah sure”

It as she walks in that I notice she has a couple of boxes with her.

“Food” she says and I nod.

I really didn’t feel

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+15 BONUS

living room instead. Seating down on

boxes of food.

talk as we eat. Both of us seemingly

Ava. This can’t be easy for

eating.

moment I think about lying to her that I was okay.

most of the time than

mind, I push it away. I needed to talk because I felt like I

drowning.

hard time accepting that Ethan isn’t

people I thought were my

don’t know which of the two was harder to accept. I keep asking myself if things would

me. If life would have been great had I been raised by

meeting Rowan, but

think of how things would be different had

all over again if it meant having my son in my

ever I wish Noah was here with me. He has

anchor.

can’t even begin to imagine all you must be feeling. I don’t even know where to

says, pulling

a little. She really wasn’t good at

realness was better than someone pretending to

feel.

Not

know? I thought that I’d finally gotten

away from me”

Especially for a man

who is worse. Rowan for using me for

still using me for S** while

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come out as rude but I’m gonna hit you with the truth.

thinking the whole time, then I would

are you talking

“How do I put this out without hurting you further you went into a relationship

build you whole expectation on someone else. You can’t think that a

hole Rowan and you

get to say

and I never saw it until now. You think when you find the man that will love you then everything will fall into place. The only person who can fill that hole in your heart is you You alone can love yourself the way you want to be loved. You have to love yourself first and judging from the way I see things, you have never loved yourself” She slumps

back of the couch

glare at her feeling a

“Am 17”

her. Of

you sure‘ an

I force

you said about