Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

54. The Howell’s

It was almost noon when I wake up. At first I thought that everything was as it was supposed to

be, but then everything comes crashing down on me. It wasn’t a bad dream like I had thought.

Ethan had really betrayed me.

I feel my tears well up. I cried myself to sleep yesterday and I was just so damn tired of crying. I

went to bed wishing that it would all change when I woke up. Praying for a miracle, but here I am.

Nothing’s changed. What I wanted to be nothing but a nightmare, was now my reality.

I slowly get out of bed. I had no energy to do anything, but I also knew I couldn’t sleep and wallow

in bed all day.

I take a long shower hoping it will make things better. It doesn’t. I don’t think anything can make

everything that happened better.

After dressing in a t–shirt and some yoga pants, I go to the kitchen for something to eat. I was just

taking out some eggs when my doorbell rang. I heave a sigh of defeat. I wasn’t in the mood to see

anyone. I just wanted to be left alone.

“Hi” Letty says with a small smile when I open the door.

She looks as tired and worn as I am. Hers is probably more physical unlike mine which is both

physical and psychological.

“Hi Letty” I stand awkwardly at the door.

I didn’t want to be rude but I also didn’t want anyone near me or around me. Like I said, I wanted to

be left alone to come to terms with all that I learned yesterday.

“I know you probably don’t to see anyone right now, but can I please come in?” she pleads.

It still surprises me how well we’ve come to know each other. It’s like we’ve known each other for

years, instead of months.

I let out a breath. “Yeah sure”

It as she walks in that I notice she has a couple of boxes with her.

“Food” she says and I nod.

really didn’t feel like cooking even though I

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Seating down on the big sofa,

boxes of food.

we eat. Both of us seemingly

I’m worried about you Ava. This can’t be easy for you” she says after

eating.

think about lying to her that I

of the time than

that thought crosses my mind, I push it away. I needed to talk because I felt

drowning.

time accepting that Ethan

that the people I thought were my family aren’t really

know which of the two was harder to

me. If life would have been great had I been raised by

have saved me from ever meeting Rowan,

would be different had I

everything all over again if it

him. Now more than ever I wish Noah was here with me. He has

anchor.

must be feeling. I don’t even

says, pulling me back from

and smile a little. She really wasn’t good at comforting someone or

mind that though. Her realness was better

feel.

know, Letty. I’m just having a hard time. Not to mention that it hurts. I

I’d finally gotten a guy that would love

ripped away from me” I blink away the

for a man

don’t know who is worse. Rowan for using me for S** while

using me for S** while he

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“I don’t want to come out as rude but

what you were thinking the whole time, then I would have put a stop to

you

sighs again. “How do I put this out without hurting you further you went into a relationship with Ethan wanting someone to love you

You can’t think that a

and you family

don’t get to say anything before she

find the man that will love you then everything will fall into place. The only person who can fill that hole in your heart is you You alone can love yourself the way you want to be loved. You have to love yourself first and judging from the

back of the couch

at her

“Am 17”

her. Of course I love

you sure‘ an inner

I force

desperately want Rowan to love you? Why did go looking for love after you divorced? Why did every sentence you said about moving on consist