Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

54. The Howell’s

It was almost noon when I wake up. At first I thought that everything was as it was supposed to

be, but then everything comes crashing down on me. It wasn’t a bad dream like I had thought.

Ethan had really betrayed me.

I feel my tears well up. I cried myself to sleep yesterday and I was just so damn tired of crying. I

went to bed wishing that it would all change when I woke up. Praying for a miracle, but here I am.

Nothing’s changed. What I wanted to be nothing but a nightmare, was now my reality.

I slowly get out of bed. I had no energy to do anything, but I also knew I couldn’t sleep and wallow

in bed all day.

I take a long shower hoping it will make things better. It doesn’t. I don’t think anything can make

everything that happened better.

After dressing in a t–shirt and some yoga pants, I go to the kitchen for something to eat. I was just

taking out some eggs when my doorbell rang. I heave a sigh of defeat. I wasn’t in the mood to see

anyone. I just wanted to be left alone.

“Hi” Letty says with a small smile when I open the door.

She looks as tired and worn as I am. Hers is probably more physical unlike mine which is both

physical and psychological.

“Hi Letty” I stand awkwardly at the door.

I didn’t want to be rude but I also didn’t want anyone near me or around me. Like I said, I wanted to

be left alone to come to terms with all that I learned yesterday.

“I know you probably don’t to see anyone right now, but can I please come in?” she pleads.

It still surprises me how well we’ve come to know each other. It’s like we’ve known each other for

years, instead of months.

I let out a breath. “Yeah sure”

It as she walks in that I notice she has a couple of boxes with her.

“Food” she says and I nod.

didn’t feel

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+15 BONUS

living room instead. Seating down on the big sofa, Letty joins

boxes of food.

dig in. We don’t talk as we eat. Both of us seemingly lost in our

can’t

eating.

I was okay. Just to

easier to pretend most of the time than

mind, I push it away. I needed to talk

drowning.

still having a hard time accepting that Ethan isn’t

that the people I thought were my family aren’t really

harder to accept. I keep asking myself if

for me. If life would have been great had I been raised by my

meeting Rowan, but

be different had I not met Rowan, I turn back from

I would do everything all over again if it meant having

miss him. Now more than ever I wish Noah was here with me. He

anchor.

must be feeling. I don’t even know where to

says, pulling

She really wasn’t good

I don’t mind that though. Her realness was better than someone pretending to know how

feel.

hard time. Not

thought that I’d finally gotten a guy that would love me and

it gets ripped away from me” I blink away

man that played and toyed

is worse. Rowan for using me for S** while he thought about Emma

and still using me for S** while he

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sighs. “I don’t want to come out as rude but I’m gonna hit you with the truth. If

were thinking the whole time, then

are you talking

I put this out without hurting you further you went into a relationship with Ethan wanting

you whole expectation on someone else. You can’t think

and you family

get to say anything

I never saw it until now. You think when you find the man that will love you then everything will fall into place. The only person who can fill that hole in your heart is you You alone can love yourself the way you want to be loved. You have

back of the couch

I glare at her

“Am 17”

her. Of course I

an

I force

Why did go looking for love after you divorced? Why did every sentence you said about