Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

54. The Howell’s

It was almost noon when I wake up. At first I thought that everything was as it was supposed to

be, but then everything comes crashing down on me. It wasn’t a bad dream like I had thought.

Ethan had really betrayed me.

I feel my tears well up. I cried myself to sleep yesterday and I was just so damn tired of crying. I

went to bed wishing that it would all change when I woke up. Praying for a miracle, but here I am.

Nothing’s changed. What I wanted to be nothing but a nightmare, was now my reality.

I slowly get out of bed. I had no energy to do anything, but I also knew I couldn’t sleep and wallow

in bed all day.

I take a long shower hoping it will make things better. It doesn’t. I don’t think anything can make

everything that happened better.

After dressing in a t–shirt and some yoga pants, I go to the kitchen for something to eat. I was just

taking out some eggs when my doorbell rang. I heave a sigh of defeat. I wasn’t in the mood to see

anyone. I just wanted to be left alone.

“Hi” Letty says with a small smile when I open the door.

She looks as tired and worn as I am. Hers is probably more physical unlike mine which is both

physical and psychological.

“Hi Letty” I stand awkwardly at the door.

I didn’t want to be rude but I also didn’t want anyone near me or around me. Like I said, I wanted to

be left alone to come to terms with all that I learned yesterday.

“I know you probably don’t to see anyone right now, but can I please come in?” she pleads.

It still surprises me how well we’ve come to know each other. It’s like we’ve known each other for

years, instead of months.

I let out a breath. “Yeah sure”

It as she walks in that I notice she has a couple of boxes with her.

“Food” she says and I nod.

am grateful. I really didn’t feel

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living room instead. Seating down on the big sofa,

boxes of food.

eat. Both of us seemingly lost in

about you Ava. This can’t be easy for you” she says

eating.

that I was okay. Just to get her off

to pretend most of the

that thought crosses my mind, I push it away. I needed to talk because I felt like I

drowning.

time accepting that

I thought were my

was harder to accept. I keep asking

have been great had

me from ever meeting Rowan, but then I would never have had Noah.

of how things would be different had I not met Rowan, I

I would do everything all over again if it

him. Now more than ever I wish Noah was here with

anchor.

must be

says, pulling me back

at her and smile a little. She really wasn’t good at comforting someone or

though. Her realness was better

feel.

a hard time. Not to mention that it hurts. I was finally starting

know? I thought that I’d finally gotten a guy that would love me and then

ripped away from me” I blink away the tears,

anymore. Especially for a man that played and

Rowan for using me for S** while he thought about Emma

still using me for

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“I don’t want to come out as rude but

thinking the whole time, then I would

you talking

sighs again. “How do I put this out without hurting you further

build you whole expectation on someone else. You

and you family

say anything

I never saw it until now. You think when you find the man that will love you then everything will fall into place. The only person who can fill that hole in your heart is you You alone can love yourself the way you want to be loved. You have to love

back of the couch

her feeling

“Am 17”

with her.

sure‘ an inner

force

looking for love after you divorced? Why did every sentence you said about moving