Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

54. The Howell’s

It was almost noon when I wake up. At first I thought that everything was as it was supposed to

be, but then everything comes crashing down on me. It wasn’t a bad dream like I had thought.

Ethan had really betrayed me.

I feel my tears well up. I cried myself to sleep yesterday and I was just so damn tired of crying. I

went to bed wishing that it would all change when I woke up. Praying for a miracle, but here I am.

Nothing’s changed. What I wanted to be nothing but a nightmare, was now my reality.

I slowly get out of bed. I had no energy to do anything, but I also knew I couldn’t sleep and wallow

in bed all day.

I take a long shower hoping it will make things better. It doesn’t. I don’t think anything can make

everything that happened better.

After dressing in a t–shirt and some yoga pants, I go to the kitchen for something to eat. I was just

taking out some eggs when my doorbell rang. I heave a sigh of defeat. I wasn’t in the mood to see

anyone. I just wanted to be left alone.

“Hi” Letty says with a small smile when I open the door.

She looks as tired and worn as I am. Hers is probably more physical unlike mine which is both

physical and psychological.

“Hi Letty” I stand awkwardly at the door.

I didn’t want to be rude but I also didn’t want anyone near me or around me. Like I said, I wanted to

be left alone to come to terms with all that I learned yesterday.

“I know you probably don’t to see anyone right now, but can I please come in?” she pleads.

It still surprises me how well we’ve come to know each other. It’s like we’ve known each other for

years, instead of months.

I let out a breath. “Yeah sure”

It as she walks in that I notice she has a couple of boxes with her.

“Food” she says and I nod.

am grateful. I really didn’t feel like cooking even though I

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the living room instead. Seating down on the big sofa, Letty joins

boxes of food.

we eat. Both of

about you Ava. This can’t

eating.

a moment I think about lying to her that I was okay. Just

most of the time

mind, I push it away. I needed to talk because I felt

drowning.

a hard time accepting that Ethan isn’t the man I thought he

I thought were my family aren’t

to accept. I keep

for me. If life would have been great had I been raised by my

would have saved me from ever meeting Rowan, but then I would never have

would be different had I not met Rowan,

I would do everything all over again if it meant having my

ever I wish Noah was here with

anchor.

to imagine all you must be feeling. I don’t even

comfort” Letty says, pulling me

her and smile a little. She really wasn’t good at comforting someone or making them

Her realness was better than someone

feel.

hard time. Not to mention that it

gotten a guy that

blossom into anything, it gets ripped away from me”

anymore. Especially for a man that played and

who is worse. Rowan for using me for S** while he thought about

playing me and still using me for S**

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sighs. “I don’t want to come out as rude but I’m gonna hit you with

what you were thinking the whole time, then I would have put

you

to love you” She sighs again. “How do I put this out without hurting you further

expectation on someone else. You

Rowan and

say

your heart is you You alone can love yourself the way you want to be loved. You have to love yourself first

back of the couch

her feeling a bit attacked and

“Am 17”

to argue with her.

sure‘ an inner voice

force

Why did go looking for love after you divorced? Why did every sentence you said about moving on consist of finding someone to love you? You