Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

54. The Howell’s

It was almost noon when I wake up. At first I thought that everything was as it was supposed to

be, but then everything comes crashing down on me. It wasn’t a bad dream like I had thought.

Ethan had really betrayed me.

I feel my tears well up. I cried myself to sleep yesterday and I was just so damn tired of crying. I

went to bed wishing that it would all change when I woke up. Praying for a miracle, but here I am.

Nothing’s changed. What I wanted to be nothing but a nightmare, was now my reality.

I slowly get out of bed. I had no energy to do anything, but I also knew I couldn’t sleep and wallow

in bed all day.

I take a long shower hoping it will make things better. It doesn’t. I don’t think anything can make

everything that happened better.

After dressing in a t–shirt and some yoga pants, I go to the kitchen for something to eat. I was just

taking out some eggs when my doorbell rang. I heave a sigh of defeat. I wasn’t in the mood to see

anyone. I just wanted to be left alone.

“Hi” Letty says with a small smile when I open the door.

She looks as tired and worn as I am. Hers is probably more physical unlike mine which is both

physical and psychological.

“Hi Letty” I stand awkwardly at the door.

I didn’t want to be rude but I also didn’t want anyone near me or around me. Like I said, I wanted to

be left alone to come to terms with all that I learned yesterday.

“I know you probably don’t to see anyone right now, but can I please come in?” she pleads.

It still surprises me how well we’ve come to know each other. It’s like we’ve known each other for

years, instead of months.

I let out a breath. “Yeah sure”

It as she walks in that I notice she has a couple of boxes with her.

“Food” she says and I nod.

really didn’t feel

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+15 BONUS

go to the living room instead. Seating down on the

boxes of food.

talk as we eat. Both

can’t

eating.

lying to her that I was okay. Just to get her

of

thought crosses my mind, I push it away. I needed to talk because

drowning.

hard time accepting that Ethan isn’t the man

that the people I thought were my family aren’t really

the two was harder to accept. I keep asking myself if things

would have been great had I been raised by my real

me from ever meeting Rowan, but then I would never

I think of how things would be different had

would do everything all over again if it

miss him. Now more than ever I wish Noah was

anchor.

can’t even begin to imagine all you must be

comfort” Letty says, pulling me

look at her and smile a little. She really wasn’t

don’t mind that though. Her realness was better than someone

feel.

know, Letty. I’m just having a hard time. Not to mention that it hurts. I was finally

on, you know? I thought that I’d finally gotten a guy that would

ripped away from me” I blink away

man that

who is worse. Rowan for using

still using me for S** while he planned

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+15 15

to come out as rude but I’m gonna hit you

whole time, then I

are you

I put this out without hurting you further you went into a

someone else. You can’t

Rowan and

say anything

it until now. You think when you find the man that will love you then everything will fall into place. The only person who can fill that hole in your heart is you You alone can love yourself the way you want to be loved. You have to love yourself first and judging from the way I see things, you have

back of the couch

I glare at her feeling a

“Am 17”

want to argue with her. Of

sure‘ an

force

Why did every sentence you said about moving on consist of finding someone to love you? You can’t expect someone else to give you the