Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

54. The Howell’s

It was almost noon when I wake up. At first I thought that everything was as it was supposed to

be, but then everything comes crashing down on me. It wasn’t a bad dream like I had thought.

Ethan had really betrayed me.

I feel my tears well up. I cried myself to sleep yesterday and I was just so damn tired of crying. I

went to bed wishing that it would all change when I woke up. Praying for a miracle, but here I am.

Nothing’s changed. What I wanted to be nothing but a nightmare, was now my reality.

I slowly get out of bed. I had no energy to do anything, but I also knew I couldn’t sleep and wallow

in bed all day.

I take a long shower hoping it will make things better. It doesn’t. I don’t think anything can make

everything that happened better.

After dressing in a t–shirt and some yoga pants, I go to the kitchen for something to eat. I was just

taking out some eggs when my doorbell rang. I heave a sigh of defeat. I wasn’t in the mood to see

anyone. I just wanted to be left alone.

“Hi” Letty says with a small smile when I open the door.

She looks as tired and worn as I am. Hers is probably more physical unlike mine which is both

physical and psychological.

“Hi Letty” I stand awkwardly at the door.

I didn’t want to be rude but I also didn’t want anyone near me or around me. Like I said, I wanted to

be left alone to come to terms with all that I learned yesterday.

“I know you probably don’t to see anyone right now, but can I please come in?” she pleads.

It still surprises me how well we’ve come to know each other. It’s like we’ve known each other for

years, instead of months.

I let out a breath. “Yeah sure”

It as she walks in that I notice she has a couple of boxes with her.

“Food” she says and I nod.

feel like cooking even though I was

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Seating down on the big sofa, Letty joins me

boxes of food.

in. We don’t talk as we eat. Both of us seemingly lost in our

about you Ava. This can’t be easy for you” she says after

eating.

a moment I think about lying to her that I was okay. Just to

to pretend most of the time than

soon as that thought crosses my mind, I push it away.

drowning.

I begin. “I’m still having a hard time accepting that Ethan isn’t the man I thought he

were my family

was harder to accept. I keep asking

life would have been great had I been raised by my

have saved me from ever meeting Rowan, but then I would never have had

would be different had I not

do everything all over again if

more than ever I wish

anchor.

begin to imagine all you must be feeling. I

comfort” Letty says, pulling me back

and smile a little. She really wasn’t good at comforting someone or

that though. Her realness was better than someone pretending to know how

feel.

time. Not to mention that it hurts. I

thought that I’d finally gotten a guy

into anything, it gets ripped away from me” I blink away the tears, not

a man that played and toyed with

don’t know who is worse. Rowan for using me for

playing me and still using me for S** while he planned on killing

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want to come out as rude but I’m gonna hit you with the truth.

were thinking the whole time, then I would have put

you talking

men to love you” She sighs again. “How do I put this out without hurting you further you went into a relationship with Ethan wanting

whole expectation on someone else. You can’t think that a man loving

hole Rowan and you

to say

hole in your heart is you You alone can love yourself the way you want to be

back of the couch

glare at her feeling a bit

“Am 17”

with her. Of course I love

you sure‘ an inner

I force

for love after you divorced? Why did every sentence you said about moving on consist