Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

92. She deserves better.

Rowan.

My eyes snap open. Rays of light hitting me square in the face. I groan in pain. My head was

pounding as if there was someone using it as a fucking drum.

It takes a while to register that I am in my room, in Gabe’s house. It’s something we both did. He

has a room at my house, and I have one in his.

Groaning, I stand up and head to the bathroom. I turn on the shower and step under it. Using my

hands for support, I lean against the wall and try to put my jumbled thoughts in order. I don’t

remember much of last night except drinking.

Fuck! How the hell did I get here? How is it possible that I fell in love with Ava and didn’t realize it

sooner?

The moment the realization hit me, I went straight to the club. I rarely get drunk. I promised

myself not to ever get butt drunk after Noah was born. Normally, I just take a class or two, and

that’s enough. Yesterday, though, I needed it. I needed it badly.

There is no remedy for what I was feeling. No fucking cure. How do you even begin to deal with

the realization that you love the woman that you hated? The same woman you spent nine fucking

years hurting?

I sigh and get out of the bathroom. Feeling like I have aged at least thirty years. I haven’t been this

out of sorts in years.

After getting dressed, I head downstairs. I find Gabe having breakfast.

“Where is June?” I ask, referring to his housekeeper.

“She’s made us breakfast and left. She said that she wanted an early start to the market so she

could get fresh veggies.”

June had a thing against buying from grocery stores. For some reason, she believed that they

weren’t as fresh or organic as they wanted us to believe. She buys all vegetables, fruits, meat,

eggs, and milk from the local market, which is owned by a bunch of farmers.

“How are you feeling?” Gabe asks as I pour myself some coffee.

“Like I’ve been hit by a truck.”

+16 BONUS

of me wanted to rush back to her house and tell her

me at

with this new awareness, I was fucking terrified. Is this how

but also knowing that I hate

“I thought you swore never

it was to realize that I love Ava. That all this time I’ve caused her

have lost my chance with her all because

every time I show up to pick Noah up, and she frowns at

crave her. I follow her around like a damn lost puppy, begging

way

out is nothing compared to what I did to her. Yet it

nine fucking years?

to be completely out of her life

she deserves better, but I can’t let

did that happen? The last time

asks me, looking puzzled.

in love with Emma.”

you the one that insisted

was about that. He wouldn’t let it go, even after I told him

that I wasn’t in love with Ava. I guess he just knows me better than I know myself. He

I didn’t

Ava, but your insistence

was wrong.”

fucking right. My only wish is that I had

easier to mend what

+15 BONUS

Lost in the bitter memories. Memories

her I ruined her. I broke her. My actions and words chipped

there was

to be in your shoes” Gabe whistles and I glare at him. “But you

to know when it happened. When did you fall for her?”

the exact time. Maybe it happened when we were

I know is that I

hair. I was frustrated and fucking scared. What

you love someone!

Probably came after Noah was born. I also think you didn’t

her because you held on to the memory of Emma. She was

true love. You can’t live with someone

I know you, Ro. You wouldn’t even have touched her if

a biological process. I just got what I needed from her while still hating her. I am

imagined she was Emma.” I

treated her. 1

1

imagine you were fucking Emma because you

to hold you back? Something that would guard you from

you felt that enjoying S**

held on to

on the stool completely

I

that. I admit

how would I explain how the hell I was able to get it up and

was right, and I used Emma as an escape

head, I had already betrayed the love of my life once; how then could I betray her over

again by sleeping with and enjoying Ava’s body? It

Emma was never the love