Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

92. She deserves better.

Rowan.

My eyes snap open. Rays of light hitting me square in the face. I groan in pain. My head was

pounding as if there was someone using it as a fucking drum.

It takes a while to register that I am in my room, in Gabe’s house. It’s something we both did. He

has a room at my house, and I have one in his.

Groaning, I stand up and head to the bathroom. I turn on the shower and step under it. Using my

hands for support, I lean against the wall and try to put my jumbled thoughts in order. I don’t

remember much of last night except drinking.

Fuck! How the hell did I get here? How is it possible that I fell in love with Ava and didn’t realize it

sooner?

The moment the realization hit me, I went straight to the club. I rarely get drunk. I promised

myself not to ever get butt drunk after Noah was born. Normally, I just take a class or two, and

that’s enough. Yesterday, though, I needed it. I needed it badly.

There is no remedy for what I was feeling. No fucking cure. How do you even begin to deal with

the realization that you love the woman that you hated? The same woman you spent nine fucking

years hurting?

I sigh and get out of the bathroom. Feeling like I have aged at least thirty years. I haven’t been this

out of sorts in years.

After getting dressed, I head downstairs. I find Gabe having breakfast.

“Where is June?” I ask, referring to his housekeeper.

“She’s made us breakfast and left. She said that she wanted an early start to the market so she

could get fresh veggies.”

June had a thing against buying from grocery stores. For some reason, she believed that they

weren’t as fresh or organic as they wanted us to believe. She buys all vegetables, fruits, meat,

eggs, and milk from the local market, which is owned by a bunch of farmers.

“How are you feeling?” Gabe asks as I pour myself some coffee.

“Like I’ve been hit by a truck.”

+16 BONUS

wanted to rush back to her house and tell her immediately. I would have if my rational side

me at

new awareness, I was fucking terrified. Is this how

but also knowing that I hate

yesterday,” Gabe begins, “I thought you swore never to get drunk ever

difficult it was to realize that I love Ava. That all this time I’ve caused her nothing but pain. It was

chance with her all because I couldn’t let

up to pick Noah up, and she frowns at me in disapproval. Or when, at times,

because I crave her. I follow her around like a damn

only way to be near

What she is dishing out is nothing compared to what I did

nine fucking years?

to be completely out of her

that because she deserves better, but I can’t let her go no matter how

did that happen? The last time

asks me, looking puzzled.

sure you were in

weren’t you the one that insisted that I had

how adamant he was about that. He wouldn’t let it go,

I wasn’t in love with Ava. I guess he just knows me

I didn’t want to

loved Ava, but your insistence

was wrong.”

“You were fucking right. My only wish is that I had relegalized this sooner. Maybe then it

have been easier to mend what I

+15 BONUS

bitter memories.

I broke her. My actions and words chipped

until there was

honestly don’t wish to be in your shoes” Gabe whistles and I glare at

it happened. When did you fall for

exact time. Maybe it happened when

recent thing. All I know is that

run my hand through my hair. I was frustrated and fucking scared. What a

you love someone!

it was always there. Probably came after Noah was born. I also think

on to the memory of Emma. She was your

can’t live with someone for

I know you, Ro. You wouldn’t even have touched her if you didn’t feel

I just got what I needed from her while

were times I imagined she was Emma.” I tell him, feeling sick

treated her. 1

1

Did you imagine you were fucking Emma because you missed her or because

you back? Something that would guard

felt that enjoying

you held on to for dear life?”

sit on the

I

like that. I

the

and I used Emma as an escape from what I truly felt

my head, I had already betrayed the love of my

enjoying Ava’s body? It all made sense in my head then,

that Emma was never the