Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

92. She deserves better.

Rowan.

My eyes snap open. Rays of light hitting me square in the face. I groan in pain. My head was

pounding as if there was someone using it as a fucking drum.

It takes a while to register that I am in my room, in Gabe’s house. It’s something we both did. He

has a room at my house, and I have one in his.

Groaning, I stand up and head to the bathroom. I turn on the shower and step under it. Using my

hands for support, I lean against the wall and try to put my jumbled thoughts in order. I don’t

remember much of last night except drinking.

Fuck! How the hell did I get here? How is it possible that I fell in love with Ava and didn’t realize it

sooner?

The moment the realization hit me, I went straight to the club. I rarely get drunk. I promised

myself not to ever get butt drunk after Noah was born. Normally, I just take a class or two, and

that’s enough. Yesterday, though, I needed it. I needed it badly.

There is no remedy for what I was feeling. No fucking cure. How do you even begin to deal with

the realization that you love the woman that you hated? The same woman you spent nine fucking

years hurting?

I sigh and get out of the bathroom. Feeling like I have aged at least thirty years. I haven’t been this

out of sorts in years.

After getting dressed, I head downstairs. I find Gabe having breakfast.

“Where is June?” I ask, referring to his housekeeper.

“She’s made us breakfast and left. She said that she wanted an early start to the market so she

could get fresh veggies.”

June had a thing against buying from grocery stores. For some reason, she believed that they

weren’t as fresh or organic as they wanted us to believe. She buys all vegetables, fruits, meat,

eggs, and milk from the local market, which is owned by a bunch of farmers.

“How are you feeling?” Gabe asks as I pour myself some coffee.

“Like I’ve been hit by a truck.”

+16 BONUS

and tell her immediately. I would have if my rational side hadn’t won. It was too soon to tell her. She

believed me at

never been scared, but with this new awareness, I was fucking terrified. Is

but also knowing that

you swore never

You can’t understand how difficult it was to realize that I love Ava.

my chance with her all because I couldn’t let go of my

Noah up, and she frowns at me in disapproval. Or when, at times, she

not affect me because I crave her. I follow her around like a damn lost puppy, begging for any scraps of affection

way to be

thought of what she went through at my hands. What she is dishing out is nothing compared to what I did to her. Yet it still fucking

nine fucking years?

be completely out of her life for

deserves better, but I can’t

that happen? The last

asks me, looking puzzled.

in love

that insisted

he was about that. He wouldn’t let it go, even after

love with Ava. I guess he

didn’t want to

me you loved Ava, but your insistence at times made me doubt that

was wrong.”

right. My only wish is that I had

been easier to mend

+15 BONUS

memories. Memories where

My actions and

there

whistles and I glare at him.

I want to know when it happened. When did you fall for her?”

pinpoint the exact time. Maybe it

it’s a recent thing. All I know is that I

I was frustrated and fucking scared. What a lousy time to

you love someone!

always there. Probably came after Noah

her because you held on to the memory of Emma. She

love. You can’t live with someone for nine

know you, Ro. You wouldn’t even have touched her if

just got what I needed from

Emma.” I tell him, feeling

treated her. 1

1

fucking Emma because you missed her or because you

that would

you and Ava because you felt that enjoying S**

held on to for dear life?”

the

I

like that.

how would I explain how the hell I was able to

Gabe was right, and I used Emma as

had already betrayed the love of my life once;

and enjoying Ava’s body? It

that Emma was never