Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

92. She deserves better.

Rowan.

My eyes snap open. Rays of light hitting me square in the face. I groan in pain. My head was

pounding as if there was someone using it as a fucking drum.

It takes a while to register that I am in my room, in Gabe’s house. It’s something we both did. He

has a room at my house, and I have one in his.

Groaning, I stand up and head to the bathroom. I turn on the shower and step under it. Using my

hands for support, I lean against the wall and try to put my jumbled thoughts in order. I don’t

remember much of last night except drinking.

Fuck! How the hell did I get here? How is it possible that I fell in love with Ava and didn’t realize it

sooner?

The moment the realization hit me, I went straight to the club. I rarely get drunk. I promised

myself not to ever get butt drunk after Noah was born. Normally, I just take a class or two, and

that’s enough. Yesterday, though, I needed it. I needed it badly.

There is no remedy for what I was feeling. No fucking cure. How do you even begin to deal with

the realization that you love the woman that you hated? The same woman you spent nine fucking

years hurting?

I sigh and get out of the bathroom. Feeling like I have aged at least thirty years. I haven’t been this

out of sorts in years.

After getting dressed, I head downstairs. I find Gabe having breakfast.

“Where is June?” I ask, referring to his housekeeper.

“She’s made us breakfast and left. She said that she wanted an early start to the market so she

could get fresh veggies.”

June had a thing against buying from grocery stores. For some reason, she believed that they

weren’t as fresh or organic as they wanted us to believe. She buys all vegetables, fruits, meat,

eggs, and milk from the local market, which is owned by a bunch of farmers.

“How are you feeling?” Gabe asks as I pour myself some coffee.

“Like I’ve been hit by a truck.”

+16 BONUS

I loved Ava, part of me wanted to rush back to her house and tell her immediately. I would have if my rational side hadn’t won. It was too soon

me at

but with this new awareness, I

but also knowing that I hate

yesterday,” Gabe begins, “I thought you swore never

how difficult it was to realize that I love Ava. That all this time I’ve caused her nothing but pain. It was suffocating me to

I may have lost my chance with her all because I couldn’t let go of my

frowns at me in disapproval.

around like a damn lost puppy, begging for any scraps of affection she’ll give me. Even if it’s bitterness,

only way

she went through at my hands. What she is dishing out is nothing compared to what I did to her. Yet it still fucking hurts. How the hell did she survive me

nine fucking years?

with me. Wants me to be completely out of her life

but I can’t let

happen? The

asks me, looking puzzled.

in

you the one that insisted that I had suppressed feelings for

He wouldn’t let it go, even after I told

with Ava. I guess he just knows me better

didn’t want

Ava, but your insistence at times made me doubt that maybe

was wrong.”

sigh. “You were fucking right. My only wish is

easier to mend what I

+15 BONUS

into space. Lost in the bitter memories. Memories where I had her, but

her. I broke her. My actions and words chipped

until there was nothing

be in your shoes” Gabe whistles and I glare at him. “But you

it happened. When did you fall for

the exact time. Maybe it happened

thing. All I know is

was frustrated and fucking scared. What a lousy

you love someone!

was always there. Probably came after Noah was born. I also think you

held on to the memory of Emma. She was your

she was your true love. You can’t live with someone for nine years and not feel a

even have touched her if you didn’t feel

biological process. I just got what I needed from her while

I tell him, feeling sick to the core

treated her. 1

1

Emma because you missed her

that would guard you from enjoying

and Ava because you felt that enjoying S** with her would

of Emma that you held on to for

on the stool completely

I

like that.

how would I explain how the hell I was able to get

right, and I used Emma as an escape from what I truly felt

of my life once; how then could I betray her

by sleeping with and enjoying Ava’s body? It all made sense in my head

starting to realize that Emma was never