Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

92. She deserves better.

Rowan.

My eyes snap open. Rays of light hitting me square in the face. I groan in pain. My head was

pounding as if there was someone using it as a fucking drum.

It takes a while to register that I am in my room, in Gabe’s house. It’s something we both did. He

has a room at my house, and I have one in his.

Groaning, I stand up and head to the bathroom. I turn on the shower and step under it. Using my

hands for support, I lean against the wall and try to put my jumbled thoughts in order. I don’t

remember much of last night except drinking.

Fuck! How the hell did I get here? How is it possible that I fell in love with Ava and didn’t realize it

sooner?

The moment the realization hit me, I went straight to the club. I rarely get drunk. I promised

myself not to ever get butt drunk after Noah was born. Normally, I just take a class or two, and

that’s enough. Yesterday, though, I needed it. I needed it badly.

There is no remedy for what I was feeling. No fucking cure. How do you even begin to deal with

the realization that you love the woman that you hated? The same woman you spent nine fucking

years hurting?

I sigh and get out of the bathroom. Feeling like I have aged at least thirty years. I haven’t been this

out of sorts in years.

After getting dressed, I head downstairs. I find Gabe having breakfast.

“Where is June?” I ask, referring to his housekeeper.

“She’s made us breakfast and left. She said that she wanted an early start to the market so she

could get fresh veggies.”

June had a thing against buying from grocery stores. For some reason, she believed that they

weren’t as fresh or organic as they wanted us to believe. She buys all vegetables, fruits, meat,

eggs, and milk from the local market, which is owned by a bunch of farmers.

“How are you feeling?” Gabe asks as I pour myself some coffee.

“Like I’ve been hit by a truck.”

+16 BONUS

to rush back to her house and tell her immediately. I would have if my rational side hadn’t won. It was too soon to tell her.

me

never been scared, but with this new awareness, I was fucking terrified. Is this

Loving me but also knowing that

thought you swore never to get drunk

to numb the pain. You can’t understand how difficult it was to realize

her all because I couldn’t let go of my bitterness”

it every time I show up to pick Noah up, and she frowns at me in disapproval. Or when, at times, she looks at

like a damn lost puppy, begging for any scraps of affection

only way to be

at my hands. What she is dishing out is nothing compared to what I

nine fucking years?

nothing to do with me. Wants me to be completely out

she deserves better, but I can’t let her

The last time

asks me, looking puzzled.

you were in love with

you the one that insisted that I had suppressed feelings for

He wouldn’t let it go, even after I

Ava. I guess he just knows me better than I know myself.

didn’t

loved Ava, but your insistence at times made me doubt that maybe

was wrong.”

were fucking right. My only wish is that I had relegalized this sooner. Maybe

to mend

+15 BONUS

memories. Memories where

ruined her. I broke her. My actions and words chipped

there was

shoes” Gabe whistles and I glare

when it happened. When

know. I can’t pinpoint the exact time. Maybe it happened when we were

All I

I was frustrated and fucking

you love someone!

there. Probably came after Noah was born. I also think you

memory

she was your true love. You can’t live with someone for nine years and

you, Ro. You wouldn’t even have touched

biological process. I just got what I needed from her while still hating her. I

I tell

treated her. 1

1

fucking Emma because you missed her or because you

Something that would guard you from enjoying

you and Ava because you felt that enjoying S** with her would be a betrayal

Emma that you held on to for

the

I

it like that. I

I explain how the hell I was able

Emma as

betrayed the love of my life once; how then could

sleeping with and enjoying Ava’s body? It all made sense

realize that Emma was never