Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

92. She deserves better.

Rowan.

My eyes snap open. Rays of light hitting me square in the face. I groan in pain. My head was

pounding as if there was someone using it as a fucking drum.

It takes a while to register that I am in my room, in Gabe’s house. It’s something we both did. He

has a room at my house, and I have one in his.

Groaning, I stand up and head to the bathroom. I turn on the shower and step under it. Using my

hands for support, I lean against the wall and try to put my jumbled thoughts in order. I don’t

remember much of last night except drinking.

Fuck! How the hell did I get here? How is it possible that I fell in love with Ava and didn’t realize it

sooner?

The moment the realization hit me, I went straight to the club. I rarely get drunk. I promised

myself not to ever get butt drunk after Noah was born. Normally, I just take a class or two, and

that’s enough. Yesterday, though, I needed it. I needed it badly.

There is no remedy for what I was feeling. No fucking cure. How do you even begin to deal with

the realization that you love the woman that you hated? The same woman you spent nine fucking

years hurting?

I sigh and get out of the bathroom. Feeling like I have aged at least thirty years. I haven’t been this

out of sorts in years.

After getting dressed, I head downstairs. I find Gabe having breakfast.

“Where is June?” I ask, referring to his housekeeper.

“She’s made us breakfast and left. She said that she wanted an early start to the market so she

could get fresh veggies.”

June had a thing against buying from grocery stores. For some reason, she believed that they

weren’t as fresh or organic as they wanted us to believe. She buys all vegetables, fruits, meat,

eggs, and milk from the local market, which is owned by a bunch of farmers.

“How are you feeling?” Gabe asks as I pour myself some coffee.

“Like I’ve been hit by a truck.”

+16 BONUS

rush back to her house and tell her immediately. I would have if my rational

believed me

new awareness, I was fucking terrified. Is this how she

also knowing that I

thought you swore never to get drunk ever

difficult it was to realize that I love Ava. That all this time

lost my chance with her all because I couldn’t let go of

Noah up, and she frowns at me in disapproval. Or when, at times, she looks at me with nothing but hate

I follow her around like a damn lost puppy, begging for any scraps

only way to be near

what she went through at my hands. What she is dishing out is nothing compared to what I did to her. Yet it still fucking hurts. How

nine fucking years?

me to be completely out of her life for good. I want

she deserves better, but I can’t let her go no

happen? The last time I

asks me, looking puzzled.

sure you were in love with

but weren’t you the one that insisted that I had

that. He wouldn’t let it go, even after I told him

he just knows me

didn’t want

loved Ava, but your

was wrong.”

sigh. “You were fucking right. My only wish is that I had relegalized this

to mend what I

+15 BONUS

off into space. Lost in the bitter memories. Memories where I had her, but

her. My actions and words chipped at

there

honestly don’t wish to be in your shoes” Gabe whistles

know when it happened. When did you fall for

the exact time. Maybe it happened when we

recent thing. All I know is that

my hair. I was frustrated and

you love someone!

was always there. Probably came after Noah

to love her because you held on to the memory of Emma. She was your first love, so

she was your true love. You can’t live with someone

You wouldn’t even have touched her if you didn’t

got what I needed from her

she was Emma.” I tell him,

treated her. 1

1

fucking Emma because you

that would

and Ava because you felt that enjoying S** with

you held on to for

sit on the

I

like that. I admit

the hell I was able to get it up

as an escape from what

head, I had already betrayed the love of my life once; how then could I betray her over

again by sleeping with and enjoying Ava’s body? It all made

was never