Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

92. She deserves better.

Rowan.

My eyes snap open. Rays of light hitting me square in the face. I groan in pain. My head was

pounding as if there was someone using it as a fucking drum.

It takes a while to register that I am in my room, in Gabe’s house. It’s something we both did. He

has a room at my house, and I have one in his.

Groaning, I stand up and head to the bathroom. I turn on the shower and step under it. Using my

hands for support, I lean against the wall and try to put my jumbled thoughts in order. I don’t

remember much of last night except drinking.

Fuck! How the hell did I get here? How is it possible that I fell in love with Ava and didn’t realize it

sooner?

The moment the realization hit me, I went straight to the club. I rarely get drunk. I promised

myself not to ever get butt drunk after Noah was born. Normally, I just take a class or two, and

that’s enough. Yesterday, though, I needed it. I needed it badly.

There is no remedy for what I was feeling. No fucking cure. How do you even begin to deal with

the realization that you love the woman that you hated? The same woman you spent nine fucking

years hurting?

I sigh and get out of the bathroom. Feeling like I have aged at least thirty years. I haven’t been this

out of sorts in years.

After getting dressed, I head downstairs. I find Gabe having breakfast.

“Where is June?” I ask, referring to his housekeeper.

“She’s made us breakfast and left. She said that she wanted an early start to the market so she

could get fresh veggies.”

June had a thing against buying from grocery stores. For some reason, she believed that they

weren’t as fresh or organic as they wanted us to believe. She buys all vegetables, fruits, meat,

eggs, and milk from the local market, which is owned by a bunch of farmers.

“How are you feeling?” Gabe asks as I pour myself some coffee.

“Like I’ve been hit by a truck.”

+16 BONUS

of me wanted to rush back to her house and tell her immediately. I would have if my rational side hadn’t won. It

me

but with this new awareness, I was fucking terrified. Is this how she used

also

thought you swore never to get drunk ever

how difficult it was to realize that I love Ava. That all this

that I may have lost my chance with her all because I couldn’t

to pick Noah up, and she frowns at me in disapproval. Or when, at times, she looks at me with nothing but hate and

follow her around like a damn lost puppy, begging for

the only way to

my hands. What she is dishing out is nothing compared to what I did to her. Yet it still fucking hurts. How

nine fucking years?

wants nothing to do with me. Wants me to be completely

that because she deserves better, but I can’t let her go no matter

The last time I

asks me, looking puzzled.

you were in love with Emma.”

insisted that

that. He wouldn’t

with Ava. I guess he just knows me

I didn’t want

you loved Ava, but your

was wrong.”

sigh. “You were fucking right. My only wish is that

easier to mend

+15 BONUS

Lost in the bitter memories. Memories where I had her, but instead of

I broke her. My actions and words chipped at her heart

there was

Gabe whistles and I glare

I want to know when it happened. When did you fall

Maybe it happened when we were

it’s a recent thing. All I

hand through my hair. I was frustrated and fucking scared. What

you love someone!

was always there. Probably came after Noah was born. I also think

the memory of Emma. She

she was your true love. You can’t live with someone for nine years and not feel

know you, Ro. You wouldn’t even have touched her if you didn’t feel

I needed

was Emma.” I tell him, feeling sick to the core

treated her. 1

1

you imagine you were fucking Emma because you missed

to hold you back? Something that

enjoying S** with her

of Emma that you held

on the stool

I

about it like that. I

I explain how the hell I was able to

as an escape from

of my

body? It all made

realize that Emma was never