Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

92. She deserves better.

Rowan.

My eyes snap open. Rays of light hitting me square in the face. I groan in pain. My head was

pounding as if there was someone using it as a fucking drum.

It takes a while to register that I am in my room, in Gabe’s house. It’s something we both did. He

has a room at my house, and I have one in his.

Groaning, I stand up and head to the bathroom. I turn on the shower and step under it. Using my

hands for support, I lean against the wall and try to put my jumbled thoughts in order. I don’t

remember much of last night except drinking.

Fuck! How the hell did I get here? How is it possible that I fell in love with Ava and didn’t realize it

sooner?

The moment the realization hit me, I went straight to the club. I rarely get drunk. I promised

myself not to ever get butt drunk after Noah was born. Normally, I just take a class or two, and

that’s enough. Yesterday, though, I needed it. I needed it badly.

There is no remedy for what I was feeling. No fucking cure. How do you even begin to deal with

the realization that you love the woman that you hated? The same woman you spent nine fucking

years hurting?

I sigh and get out of the bathroom. Feeling like I have aged at least thirty years. I haven’t been this

out of sorts in years.

After getting dressed, I head downstairs. I find Gabe having breakfast.

“Where is June?” I ask, referring to his housekeeper.

“She’s made us breakfast and left. She said that she wanted an early start to the market so she

could get fresh veggies.”

June had a thing against buying from grocery stores. For some reason, she believed that they

weren’t as fresh or organic as they wanted us to believe. She buys all vegetables, fruits, meat,

eggs, and milk from the local market, which is owned by a bunch of farmers.

“How are you feeling?” Gabe asks as I pour myself some coffee.

“Like I’ve been hit by a truck.”

+16 BONUS

tell her immediately. I would have if my

me at

been scared, but with this new awareness, I was fucking terrified. Is

also knowing that I hate

Gabe begins, “I thought you swore never to

realize

with her all because I couldn’t let go

pick Noah up, and she frowns at me in disapproval. Or

not affect me because I crave her. I follow her around like a damn lost puppy, begging for any scraps of affection she’ll

only way to be near

she went through at my hands. What she is dishing out is nothing compared to

nine fucking years?

with me. Wants me to be completely out of

better, but I can’t let her go no matter how I fucking

did that happen? The last

asks me, looking puzzled.

were in

insisted that

that. He wouldn’t

I wasn’t in love with Ava. I guess he just knows

didn’t

was telling me you loved Ava, but your insistence at times made me doubt that maybe

was wrong.”

were fucking right. My only wish is that I had

been easier to mend what I

+15 BONUS

into space. Lost in the bitter memories. Memories where I

ruined her. I broke her. My actions and words chipped at her heart

until there was nothing

whistles and I glare at him. “But you still haven’t

it happened. When

don’t know. I can’t pinpoint the exact time. Maybe it

recent thing. All I know

hand through my hair. I was frustrated and

you love someone!

was always there. Probably came after Noah was born. I also

you held on to the memory of Emma. She was your first love, so

live with someone for nine years and not

have touched her

a biological process. I just got what I needed from her while still hating

imagined she was Emma.” I tell

treated her. 1

1

you were fucking Emma because

Something that would guard

and Ava because you felt that enjoying S** with

Emma that you held on to

the stool

I

that.

would I explain how the hell I was able

Emma as an escape

I had already betrayed the love of my life once; how then

and enjoying Ava’s body? It all made sense in my head

to realize that Emma was never the