Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

92. She deserves better.

Rowan.

My eyes snap open. Rays of light hitting me square in the face. I groan in pain. My head was

pounding as if there was someone using it as a fucking drum.

It takes a while to register that I am in my room, in Gabe’s house. It’s something we both did. He

has a room at my house, and I have one in his.

Groaning, I stand up and head to the bathroom. I turn on the shower and step under it. Using my

hands for support, I lean against the wall and try to put my jumbled thoughts in order. I don’t

remember much of last night except drinking.

Fuck! How the hell did I get here? How is it possible that I fell in love with Ava and didn’t realize it

sooner?

The moment the realization hit me, I went straight to the club. I rarely get drunk. I promised

myself not to ever get butt drunk after Noah was born. Normally, I just take a class or two, and

that’s enough. Yesterday, though, I needed it. I needed it badly.

There is no remedy for what I was feeling. No fucking cure. How do you even begin to deal with

the realization that you love the woman that you hated? The same woman you spent nine fucking

years hurting?

I sigh and get out of the bathroom. Feeling like I have aged at least thirty years. I haven’t been this

out of sorts in years.

After getting dressed, I head downstairs. I find Gabe having breakfast.

“Where is June?” I ask, referring to his housekeeper.

“She’s made us breakfast and left. She said that she wanted an early start to the market so she

could get fresh veggies.”

June had a thing against buying from grocery stores. For some reason, she believed that they

weren’t as fresh or organic as they wanted us to believe. She buys all vegetables, fruits, meat,

eggs, and milk from the local market, which is owned by a bunch of farmers.

“How are you feeling?” Gabe asks as I pour myself some coffee.

“Like I’ve been hit by a truck.”

+16 BONUS

and tell her immediately. I would have if my rational side hadn’t won. It was too soon to tell her. She

believed me

never been scared, but with this new awareness, I was fucking terrified. Is this how

also

“I thought you swore never to get drunk

the pain. You can’t understand how difficult it was to realize that I love Ava. That all this time I’ve caused her nothing

lost my chance with her all

up to pick Noah up, and she frowns at

because I crave her. I follow her around like a damn lost puppy, begging for

way to be

at my hands. What she is dishing out is nothing compared to

nine fucking years?

to be completely out

she deserves better, but I can’t

that happen? The

asks me, looking puzzled.

sure you were in love

insisted that I had suppressed feelings for

he was about that. He wouldn’t let it go, even after I

he just knows me better than I

didn’t want to

me you loved Ava, but your insistence at

was wrong.”

right. My only wish is that I

have been easier to mend what

+15 BONUS

the bitter memories. Memories where

My actions

until there was nothing

don’t wish to be in your shoes” Gabe whistles and I glare

when it happened. When did you fall for her?”

exact time. Maybe it happened when we were still married, or

I know is that I

my hand through my hair. I was frustrated and fucking

you love someone!

after Noah was born. I also think

you held on to the memory

she was your true love. You can’t live with someone for nine years and not feel

know you, Ro. You wouldn’t even have touched her if you didn’t feel

what I needed from her while still hating her.

was Emma.” I tell him, feeling sick to the core at

treated her. 1

1

Did you imagine you were fucking Emma because you missed her or

Something that would guard you

because you felt that enjoying S** with her

you held on to for dear life?”

the stool

I

it like that. I

how would I explain how the hell I was

I used Emma as an escape from what I truly

the love of my life once; how then could

again by sleeping with and enjoying Ava’s body? It all made sense in my

Emma was never the