Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

92. She deserves better.

Rowan.

My eyes snap open. Rays of light hitting me square in the face. I groan in pain. My head was

pounding as if there was someone using it as a fucking drum.

It takes a while to register that I am in my room, in Gabe’s house. It’s something we both did. He

has a room at my house, and I have one in his.

Groaning, I stand up and head to the bathroom. I turn on the shower and step under it. Using my

hands for support, I lean against the wall and try to put my jumbled thoughts in order. I don’t

remember much of last night except drinking.

Fuck! How the hell did I get here? How is it possible that I fell in love with Ava and didn’t realize it

sooner?

The moment the realization hit me, I went straight to the club. I rarely get drunk. I promised

myself not to ever get butt drunk after Noah was born. Normally, I just take a class or two, and

that’s enough. Yesterday, though, I needed it. I needed it badly.

There is no remedy for what I was feeling. No fucking cure. How do you even begin to deal with

the realization that you love the woman that you hated? The same woman you spent nine fucking

years hurting?

I sigh and get out of the bathroom. Feeling like I have aged at least thirty years. I haven’t been this

out of sorts in years.

After getting dressed, I head downstairs. I find Gabe having breakfast.

“Where is June?” I ask, referring to his housekeeper.

“She’s made us breakfast and left. She said that she wanted an early start to the market so she

could get fresh veggies.”

June had a thing against buying from grocery stores. For some reason, she believed that they

weren’t as fresh or organic as they wanted us to believe. She buys all vegetables, fruits, meat,

eggs, and milk from the local market, which is owned by a bunch of farmers.

“How are you feeling?” Gabe asks as I pour myself some coffee.

“Like I’ve been hit by a truck.”

+16 BONUS

and tell her immediately. I would have if my rational side hadn’t won. It

believed me at

awareness, I was fucking terrified. Is this

but also knowing that I

yesterday,” Gabe begins, “I thought you swore never to get drunk ever again.”

You can’t understand how difficult it was to realize that

chance with her all because I couldn’t

to pick Noah up, and she frowns at me in

me because I crave her. I follow her around like a damn lost puppy,

way

went through at my hands. What she is dishing out is nothing compared to what I did to her. Yet it still

nine fucking years?

wants nothing to do with me. Wants me to be completely out of her life for good. I want to

better, but I can’t let her go no matter how

that happen? The last

asks me, looking puzzled.

sure you were in love with Emma.”

that insisted

remember how adamant he was about that. He wouldn’t let it go, even after I told

I guess he just

didn’t

loved Ava, but your insistence at times made me

was wrong.”

were fucking right. My only wish is that I had relegalized this sooner. Maybe then it

easier to mend

+15 BONUS

in the bitter memories. Memories where I had

her I ruined her. I broke her. My actions and words chipped at her heart slowly

until there was nothing

don’t wish to be in your shoes” Gabe whistles and I glare at him. “But you still haven’t

me. I want to know when it happened. When did

time. Maybe it

recent thing. All I know is that I love her

run my hand through my hair. I was frustrated

you love someone!

was always there. Probably came after Noah was

her because you held on to the memory of Emma. She was your first love, so you

she was your true love. You can’t live with someone for nine years and not feel a

You wouldn’t even have touched her if you didn’t

just got what I

imagined she was Emma.” I tell him, feeling

treated her. 1

1

were fucking Emma because you missed her or because

you back? Something that would

enjoying

you held on to for

sit on the stool

I

it like that. I admit I

I explain how the hell

right, and I used Emma as

head, I had already betrayed the love of my life once; how then could I betray

enjoying Ava’s body? It all

Emma was never the