Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

92. She deserves better.

Rowan.

My eyes snap open. Rays of light hitting me square in the face. I groan in pain. My head was

pounding as if there was someone using it as a fucking drum.

It takes a while to register that I am in my room, in Gabe’s house. It’s something we both did. He

has a room at my house, and I have one in his.

Groaning, I stand up and head to the bathroom. I turn on the shower and step under it. Using my

hands for support, I lean against the wall and try to put my jumbled thoughts in order. I don’t

remember much of last night except drinking.

Fuck! How the hell did I get here? How is it possible that I fell in love with Ava and didn’t realize it

sooner?

The moment the realization hit me, I went straight to the club. I rarely get drunk. I promised

myself not to ever get butt drunk after Noah was born. Normally, I just take a class or two, and

that’s enough. Yesterday, though, I needed it. I needed it badly.

There is no remedy for what I was feeling. No fucking cure. How do you even begin to deal with

the realization that you love the woman that you hated? The same woman you spent nine fucking

years hurting?

I sigh and get out of the bathroom. Feeling like I have aged at least thirty years. I haven’t been this

out of sorts in years.

After getting dressed, I head downstairs. I find Gabe having breakfast.

“Where is June?” I ask, referring to his housekeeper.

“She’s made us breakfast and left. She said that she wanted an early start to the market so she

could get fresh veggies.”

June had a thing against buying from grocery stores. For some reason, she believed that they

weren’t as fresh or organic as they wanted us to believe. She buys all vegetables, fruits, meat,

eggs, and milk from the local market, which is owned by a bunch of farmers.

“How are you feeling?” Gabe asks as I pour myself some coffee.

“Like I’ve been hit by a truck.”

+16 BONUS

to rush back to her house and tell her immediately. I would have if my rational side hadn’t won. It was too soon to tell her. She

believed me

never been scared, but with this new awareness, I was

but also knowing that I hate

begins, “I thought you swore never to get drunk ever again.”

was to realize that I love Ava. That all this time I’ve caused her nothing but pain.

may have lost my chance with her all because I couldn’t

she frowns at

around like a damn lost puppy, begging for any scraps of

way to be

compared to what I did to her. Yet it still fucking hurts. How the hell

nine fucking years?

wants nothing to do with me. Wants me to be completely out of her life for good. I want

deserves better, but I can’t let her go no matter how I

The last

asks me, looking puzzled.

were in love with

that insisted

He wouldn’t let it go, even after I told him

in love with Ava. I guess he just knows me better than I know

I didn’t want to

telling me you loved Ava, but your insistence at times made me doubt

was wrong.”

sigh. “You were fucking right. My only wish is that I had relegalized this sooner. Maybe then

been easier to mend what I

+15 BONUS

Lost in the bitter memories. Memories

her. My actions and words chipped at her heart slowly

until there was nothing

don’t wish to be in your shoes” Gabe whistles and I

it

exact time. Maybe it happened

thing. All I know is that I

hair. I was frustrated and fucking scared. What

you love someone!

was always there. Probably came after Noah was born. I

the memory

live with someone for nine years and

have touched her if you didn’t

what I needed from

I imagined she was Emma.” I tell him, feeling sick to the core at how

treated her. 1

1

imagine you were fucking Emma

hold you back? Something that

felt that enjoying S** with her would be

Emma that you held

on the stool completely

I

that. I

her; otherwise, how would I explain how the hell I was able to get it up

Gabe was right, and I used Emma as an escape from what I truly felt

love of my life once; how then could

body? It all made

realize that Emma was