Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

92. She deserves better.

Rowan.

My eyes snap open. Rays of light hitting me square in the face. I groan in pain. My head was

pounding as if there was someone using it as a fucking drum.

It takes a while to register that I am in my room, in Gabe’s house. It’s something we both did. He

has a room at my house, and I have one in his.

Groaning, I stand up and head to the bathroom. I turn on the shower and step under it. Using my

hands for support, I lean against the wall and try to put my jumbled thoughts in order. I don’t

remember much of last night except drinking.

Fuck! How the hell did I get here? How is it possible that I fell in love with Ava and didn’t realize it

sooner?

The moment the realization hit me, I went straight to the club. I rarely get drunk. I promised

myself not to ever get butt drunk after Noah was born. Normally, I just take a class or two, and

that’s enough. Yesterday, though, I needed it. I needed it badly.

There is no remedy for what I was feeling. No fucking cure. How do you even begin to deal with

the realization that you love the woman that you hated? The same woman you spent nine fucking

years hurting?

I sigh and get out of the bathroom. Feeling like I have aged at least thirty years. I haven’t been this

out of sorts in years.

After getting dressed, I head downstairs. I find Gabe having breakfast.

“Where is June?” I ask, referring to his housekeeper.

“She’s made us breakfast and left. She said that she wanted an early start to the market so she

could get fresh veggies.”

June had a thing against buying from grocery stores. For some reason, she believed that they

weren’t as fresh or organic as they wanted us to believe. She buys all vegetables, fruits, meat,

eggs, and milk from the local market, which is owned by a bunch of farmers.

“How are you feeling?” Gabe asks as I pour myself some coffee.

“Like I’ve been hit by a truck.”

+16 BONUS

to rush back to her house and tell her immediately. I

me

scared, but with this new awareness, I was fucking terrified. Is

Loving me but also knowing that

yesterday,” Gabe begins, “I thought you swore never to get drunk ever again.”

needed it. I needed to numb the pain. You can’t understand how difficult it was to realize that I love

may have lost my chance with her

pick Noah up, and she frowns at me in disapproval. Or when, at times, she looks at me with nothing but hate

follow her around like a damn lost puppy, begging for

only way to be

hands. What she is dishing out is nothing compared to what I did to her. Yet it still

nine fucking years?

to do with me. Wants me to be completely

can’t

happen? The last time

asks me, looking puzzled.

you were in

insisted that I had

wouldn’t let it

Ava. I guess he just knows me better than I know myself. He

didn’t want to

but your insistence at times

was wrong.”

is that

to mend

+15 BONUS

memories. Memories where I

My actions and words chipped at her heart slowly

until there

don’t wish to be in your shoes” Gabe whistles and I glare at him. “But you

I want to know when it happened. When did you fall for

time. Maybe it happened when

I know

hand through my hair. I was frustrated and fucking scared.

you love someone!

it was always there. Probably came after Noah was born. I

to the memory of Emma. She was your first

You can’t live with someone

know you, Ro. You wouldn’t even have touched her if you didn’t feel something

I just got what I needed from her while still hating her.

were times I imagined she was Emma.” I tell him, feeling sick to

treated her. 1

1

imagine you were fucking Emma because you

hold you back? Something that would guard you from

that enjoying S** with her would be

held

the stool completely

I

that. I admit

how would I explain how the hell I

Emma as an escape

my life once; how then

again by sleeping with and enjoying Ava’s body? It all made sense in

starting to realize that Emma was never the love