Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

92. She deserves better.

Rowan.

My eyes snap open. Rays of light hitting me square in the face. I groan in pain. My head was

pounding as if there was someone using it as a fucking drum.

It takes a while to register that I am in my room, in Gabe’s house. It’s something we both did. He

has a room at my house, and I have one in his.

Groaning, I stand up and head to the bathroom. I turn on the shower and step under it. Using my

hands for support, I lean against the wall and try to put my jumbled thoughts in order. I don’t

remember much of last night except drinking.

Fuck! How the hell did I get here? How is it possible that I fell in love with Ava and didn’t realize it

sooner?

The moment the realization hit me, I went straight to the club. I rarely get drunk. I promised

myself not to ever get butt drunk after Noah was born. Normally, I just take a class or two, and

that’s enough. Yesterday, though, I needed it. I needed it badly.

There is no remedy for what I was feeling. No fucking cure. How do you even begin to deal with

the realization that you love the woman that you hated? The same woman you spent nine fucking

years hurting?

I sigh and get out of the bathroom. Feeling like I have aged at least thirty years. I haven’t been this

out of sorts in years.

After getting dressed, I head downstairs. I find Gabe having breakfast.

“Where is June?” I ask, referring to his housekeeper.

“She’s made us breakfast and left. She said that she wanted an early start to the market so she

could get fresh veggies.”

June had a thing against buying from grocery stores. For some reason, she believed that they

weren’t as fresh or organic as they wanted us to believe. She buys all vegetables, fruits, meat,

eggs, and milk from the local market, which is owned by a bunch of farmers.

“How are you feeling?” Gabe asks as I pour myself some coffee.

“Like I’ve been hit by a truck.”

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house and tell her immediately. I would have if

me at

I was fucking terrified. Is

also

begins, “I thought you swore never to get drunk

realize that I love Ava. That all this time I’ve caused her nothing but

I may have lost my chance with her all

and she frowns at me in disapproval. Or when, at times, she looks at me

follow her around like a damn lost puppy, begging for any scraps of affection she’ll give me. Even if

way to be near

is dishing out is nothing compared to what I did to her. Yet it still fucking hurts. How the hell did she survive

nine fucking years?

me to be completely out of her life for

can’t let her

happen? The last time I

asks me, looking puzzled.

you were in

that insisted that I had suppressed feelings for

adamant he was about that. He wouldn’t

Ava. I guess he just knows me better than I know myself.

I didn’t

Ava, but your insistence at times made me doubt

was wrong.”

sigh. “You were fucking right. My only wish is that I had relegalized this sooner. Maybe

been easier to mend

+15 BONUS

memories. Memories where I had her, but instead of

ruined her. I broke her. My actions and words chipped at her heart slowly by

there

shoes” Gabe whistles and

know when it happened. When did you fall for

exact time. Maybe

All I know is that I

was frustrated and fucking scared. What a lousy time to

you love someone!

after

love her because you held on to the memory of Emma. She was your

live with someone

them. I know you, Ro. You wouldn’t even have touched her if you didn’t feel something

I needed

was Emma.” I tell him, feeling sick to the core at

treated her. 1

1

were fucking Emma

back? Something that would guard

and Ava because you felt that enjoying S** with her would be a betrayal

that you held on to for

the stool

I

that. I admit I

explain how the hell I

was right, and I used Emma as an escape from what I truly

my life

sleeping with and enjoying Ava’s body? It all made sense

that Emma was never the love