Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

92. She deserves better.

Rowan.

My eyes snap open. Rays of light hitting me square in the face. I groan in pain. My head was

pounding as if there was someone using it as a fucking drum.

It takes a while to register that I am in my room, in Gabe’s house. It’s something we both did. He

has a room at my house, and I have one in his.

Groaning, I stand up and head to the bathroom. I turn on the shower and step under it. Using my

hands for support, I lean against the wall and try to put my jumbled thoughts in order. I don’t

remember much of last night except drinking.

Fuck! How the hell did I get here? How is it possible that I fell in love with Ava and didn’t realize it

sooner?

The moment the realization hit me, I went straight to the club. I rarely get drunk. I promised

myself not to ever get butt drunk after Noah was born. Normally, I just take a class or two, and

that’s enough. Yesterday, though, I needed it. I needed it badly.

There is no remedy for what I was feeling. No fucking cure. How do you even begin to deal with

the realization that you love the woman that you hated? The same woman you spent nine fucking

years hurting?

I sigh and get out of the bathroom. Feeling like I have aged at least thirty years. I haven’t been this

out of sorts in years.

After getting dressed, I head downstairs. I find Gabe having breakfast.

“Where is June?” I ask, referring to his housekeeper.

“She’s made us breakfast and left. She said that she wanted an early start to the market so she

could get fresh veggies.”

June had a thing against buying from grocery stores. For some reason, she believed that they

weren’t as fresh or organic as they wanted us to believe. She buys all vegetables, fruits, meat,

eggs, and milk from the local market, which is owned by a bunch of farmers.

“How are you feeling?” Gabe asks as I pour myself some coffee.

“Like I’ve been hit by a truck.”

+16 BONUS

wanted to rush back to her house and tell her

me at

I was fucking terrified. Is

me but also knowing that I hate

“I thought you swore never to get drunk

can’t understand how difficult it was to realize that I love Ava. That all

my chance with her all because I couldn’t let go of my

don’t notice it every time I show up to pick Noah up, and she frowns at me in

I follow her around like a damn lost puppy, begging for any scraps of affection she’ll give

way

through at my hands. What she is dishing out is nothing compared to what I did to her. Yet it still fucking

nine fucking years?

wants nothing to do with me. Wants me to be completely out of

that because she deserves better, but I can’t let her go no matter how

happen? The last time I

asks me, looking puzzled.

you were in love with Emma.”

but weren’t you the one that insisted that I had suppressed

wouldn’t let it go, even after I told

Ava. I guess he just

I didn’t want to

your

was wrong.”

right. My only wish is that I had relegalized this sooner. Maybe then it

have been easier to

+15 BONUS

off into space. Lost in the bitter memories. Memories where

her. My actions and words chipped at

until there was

wish to be in your shoes” Gabe whistles

me. I want to know when it happened. When did you

exact time. Maybe it happened when we

recent thing. All I know is

through my hair. I was frustrated and fucking scared. What a

you love someone!

think it was always there. Probably came after Noah was born. I

her because you held on to the memory of Emma. She was your

You can’t live with someone for nine years

even have touched her if

got what I

she was Emma.” I tell

treated her. 1

1

you were fucking Emma because you missed her or because

Something that would guard you from enjoying

you felt that enjoying S** with her would

of Emma that you held on to for dear

sit on the

I

it like that. I admit I

would I explain how the hell I was able to

as an escape

the love of my life once; how then

and enjoying Ava’s body? It all

realize that Emma was never the love of my