Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

92. She deserves better.

Rowan.

My eyes snap open. Rays of light hitting me square in the face. I groan in pain. My head was

pounding as if there was someone using it as a fucking drum.

It takes a while to register that I am in my room, in Gabe’s house. It’s something we both did. He

has a room at my house, and I have one in his.

Groaning, I stand up and head to the bathroom. I turn on the shower and step under it. Using my

hands for support, I lean against the wall and try to put my jumbled thoughts in order. I don’t

remember much of last night except drinking.

Fuck! How the hell did I get here? How is it possible that I fell in love with Ava and didn’t realize it

sooner?

The moment the realization hit me, I went straight to the club. I rarely get drunk. I promised

myself not to ever get butt drunk after Noah was born. Normally, I just take a class or two, and

that’s enough. Yesterday, though, I needed it. I needed it badly.

There is no remedy for what I was feeling. No fucking cure. How do you even begin to deal with

the realization that you love the woman that you hated? The same woman you spent nine fucking

years hurting?

I sigh and get out of the bathroom. Feeling like I have aged at least thirty years. I haven’t been this

out of sorts in years.

After getting dressed, I head downstairs. I find Gabe having breakfast.

“Where is June?” I ask, referring to his housekeeper.

“She’s made us breakfast and left. She said that she wanted an early start to the market so she

could get fresh veggies.”

June had a thing against buying from grocery stores. For some reason, she believed that they

weren’t as fresh or organic as they wanted us to believe. She buys all vegetables, fruits, meat,

eggs, and milk from the local market, which is owned by a bunch of farmers.

“How are you feeling?” Gabe asks as I pour myself some coffee.

“Like I’ve been hit by a truck.”

+16 BONUS

I realized that I loved Ava, part of me wanted to rush back to her house and tell her immediately. I would have

me

with this new awareness, I was fucking

also knowing that I hate

you swore never to get

the pain. You can’t understand how difficult it was to realize that I love Ava. That all this time I’ve caused her nothing but pain. It was

that I may have lost my chance with her all because I couldn’t let go of

show up to pick Noah up, and she frowns at

follow her around like a damn lost puppy, begging for any scraps of affection she’ll give

the only way to be

to

nine fucking years?

nothing to do with me. Wants me to be completely out of her life for good. I want to

but I can’t let

The last

asks me, looking puzzled.

you were in

but weren’t you the one that insisted

He wouldn’t let it go, even after I

I wasn’t in love with Ava. I guess he just knows me better than

I didn’t

loved Ava, but your insistence at times made me doubt

was wrong.”

“You were fucking right. My only wish is that I had relegalized

have been easier to

+15 BONUS

the bitter memories. Memories where I had

broke her. My actions and words chipped at her heart slowly by

until there was nothing

in your shoes” Gabe whistles

know when it happened. When did

I can’t pinpoint the exact time. Maybe it happened

a recent thing. All I know is

hand through my hair. I was frustrated and fucking scared. What a lousy time to

you love someone!

it was always there. Probably came after Noah was born. I also think

memory of Emma. She was your

can’t live with someone for nine years and not feel a

I know you, Ro. You wouldn’t even have touched her if you

just got what I needed from

Emma.” I tell him, feeling sick to the core at how

treated her. 1

1

Emma because you missed her or because

you back? Something that would guard you

and Ava because you felt that enjoying S** with her would be a betrayal

that you held on to for

the

I

it like that. I admit I

explain how the hell I was able to get it

I used Emma as an escape from what I

my life once; how then could I betray her

again by sleeping with and enjoying Ava’s body? It all made sense in my head

Emma was never the love of my fucking