Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

92. She deserves better.

Rowan.

My eyes snap open. Rays of light hitting me square in the face. I groan in pain. My head was

pounding as if there was someone using it as a fucking drum.

It takes a while to register that I am in my room, in Gabe’s house. It’s something we both did. He

has a room at my house, and I have one in his.

Groaning, I stand up and head to the bathroom. I turn on the shower and step under it. Using my

hands for support, I lean against the wall and try to put my jumbled thoughts in order. I don’t

remember much of last night except drinking.

Fuck! How the hell did I get here? How is it possible that I fell in love with Ava and didn’t realize it

sooner?

The moment the realization hit me, I went straight to the club. I rarely get drunk. I promised

myself not to ever get butt drunk after Noah was born. Normally, I just take a class or two, and

that’s enough. Yesterday, though, I needed it. I needed it badly.

There is no remedy for what I was feeling. No fucking cure. How do you even begin to deal with

the realization that you love the woman that you hated? The same woman you spent nine fucking

years hurting?

I sigh and get out of the bathroom. Feeling like I have aged at least thirty years. I haven’t been this

out of sorts in years.

After getting dressed, I head downstairs. I find Gabe having breakfast.

“Where is June?” I ask, referring to his housekeeper.

“She’s made us breakfast and left. She said that she wanted an early start to the market so she

could get fresh veggies.”

June had a thing against buying from grocery stores. For some reason, she believed that they

weren’t as fresh or organic as they wanted us to believe. She buys all vegetables, fruits, meat,

eggs, and milk from the local market, which is owned by a bunch of farmers.

“How are you feeling?” Gabe asks as I pour myself some coffee.

“Like I’ve been hit by a truck.”

+16 BONUS

that I loved Ava, part of me wanted to rush back to her house and tell her immediately. I would have if my rational side hadn’t won. It was too soon to tell her.

me at

never been scared, but with this new awareness, I was fucking terrified. Is

me but also knowing that I hate

swore never to

can’t understand how difficult it was to realize that I love Ava. That all this time I’ve

I may have lost my chance with her all because

and she frowns at me in disapproval.

it, trying to let it not affect me because I crave her. I follow her around like a damn lost puppy, begging for any scraps of affection she’ll give me. Even if it’s bitterness, I

way to be

hands. What she is dishing out is nothing compared to what I

nine fucking years?

be completely out of

but I can’t let her go

happen? The

asks me, looking puzzled.

in love with

that insisted that I had suppressed

wouldn’t let it

he just knows me

didn’t want to

Ava, but your insistence

was wrong.”

were fucking right. My only wish is that I had relegalized this sooner.

to mend

+15 BONUS

stare off into space. Lost in the bitter memories. Memories where I had her, but

her. My actions and words chipped

until there was nothing

don’t wish to be in your shoes” Gabe whistles and I

want to know when it happened.

time. Maybe it happened when we were still

I know is that I love her

frustrated and

you love someone!

came after Noah

to love her because you held on to the memory

You can’t live with someone for nine years and not

you, Ro. You wouldn’t even have touched her if you didn’t feel something

process. I just got what I needed from her while still

she was Emma.” I tell

treated her. 1

1

fucking Emma because you missed her or

you back? Something that would guard

enjoying

you held on

the stool completely

I

like that. I admit

I explain how the

was right, and I used Emma as

betrayed the love of my life once; how then could I betray

body? It all made sense in

Emma was never the love of my fucking