Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

92. She deserves better.

Rowan.

My eyes snap open. Rays of light hitting me square in the face. I groan in pain. My head was

pounding as if there was someone using it as a fucking drum.

It takes a while to register that I am in my room, in Gabe’s house. It’s something we both did. He

has a room at my house, and I have one in his.

Groaning, I stand up and head to the bathroom. I turn on the shower and step under it. Using my

hands for support, I lean against the wall and try to put my jumbled thoughts in order. I don’t

remember much of last night except drinking.

Fuck! How the hell did I get here? How is it possible that I fell in love with Ava and didn’t realize it

sooner?

The moment the realization hit me, I went straight to the club. I rarely get drunk. I promised

myself not to ever get butt drunk after Noah was born. Normally, I just take a class or two, and

that’s enough. Yesterday, though, I needed it. I needed it badly.

There is no remedy for what I was feeling. No fucking cure. How do you even begin to deal with

the realization that you love the woman that you hated? The same woman you spent nine fucking

years hurting?

I sigh and get out of the bathroom. Feeling like I have aged at least thirty years. I haven’t been this

out of sorts in years.

After getting dressed, I head downstairs. I find Gabe having breakfast.

“Where is June?” I ask, referring to his housekeeper.

“She’s made us breakfast and left. She said that she wanted an early start to the market so she

could get fresh veggies.”

June had a thing against buying from grocery stores. For some reason, she believed that they

weren’t as fresh or organic as they wanted us to believe. She buys all vegetables, fruits, meat,

eggs, and milk from the local market, which is owned by a bunch of farmers.

“How are you feeling?” Gabe asks as I pour myself some coffee.

“Like I’ve been hit by a truck.”

+16 BONUS

I loved Ava, part of me wanted to rush back to her house and tell her immediately. I would have if my rational side hadn’t won. It was

believed me at

new awareness, I was fucking terrified. Is this how she

me but also knowing that I hate

you swore never to

to realize that I love Ava. That all this time I’ve caused her nothing but pain. It was suffocating me to

with her all because I couldn’t let

I don’t notice it every time I show up to pick Noah up, and she frowns at me in disapproval. Or when,

I follow her around like a damn lost puppy, begging

only way to be

compared to what I

nine fucking years?

do with me. Wants me to be completely

better, but I can’t let her go no matter how I

that happen? The last time

asks me, looking puzzled.

were in love with Emma.”

one that insisted that I had suppressed feelings for

remember how adamant he was about that. He wouldn’t let it go, even

love with Ava. I guess he just knows me better

didn’t want

loved Ava, but your insistence

was wrong.”

My only wish is that I

have been easier to mend

+15 BONUS

stare off into space. Lost in the bitter memories. Memories

broke her. My actions and

until there was

be in your shoes” Gabe whistles

it happened. When

know. I can’t pinpoint the exact time. Maybe

thing. All I know is that I love her

my hair. I was frustrated and fucking scared. What a lousy

you love someone!

there. Probably came after Noah was born. I

you held on to the memory of

true love. You can’t live with someone for nine years and not feel a

have touched her if you didn’t feel something

what I

was Emma.” I tell him, feeling sick to

treated her. 1

1

were fucking Emma because you missed her or

hold you back? Something that would guard

felt that enjoying S** with her would be a betrayal

held on to

on the

I

about it like that. I

would I explain how the hell I was able to get it

Emma as an escape from what I

my head, I had already betrayed the love of my life once; how then could I betray her over

Ava’s body? It all

was never the love