Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

92. She deserves better.

Rowan.

My eyes snap open. Rays of light hitting me square in the face. I groan in pain. My head was

pounding as if there was someone using it as a fucking drum.

It takes a while to register that I am in my room, in Gabe’s house. It’s something we both did. He

has a room at my house, and I have one in his.

Groaning, I stand up and head to the bathroom. I turn on the shower and step under it. Using my

hands for support, I lean against the wall and try to put my jumbled thoughts in order. I don’t

remember much of last night except drinking.

Fuck! How the hell did I get here? How is it possible that I fell in love with Ava and didn’t realize it

sooner?

The moment the realization hit me, I went straight to the club. I rarely get drunk. I promised

myself not to ever get butt drunk after Noah was born. Normally, I just take a class or two, and

that’s enough. Yesterday, though, I needed it. I needed it badly.

There is no remedy for what I was feeling. No fucking cure. How do you even begin to deal with

the realization that you love the woman that you hated? The same woman you spent nine fucking

years hurting?

I sigh and get out of the bathroom. Feeling like I have aged at least thirty years. I haven’t been this

out of sorts in years.

After getting dressed, I head downstairs. I find Gabe having breakfast.

“Where is June?” I ask, referring to his housekeeper.

“She’s made us breakfast and left. She said that she wanted an early start to the market so she

could get fresh veggies.”

June had a thing against buying from grocery stores. For some reason, she believed that they

weren’t as fresh or organic as they wanted us to believe. She buys all vegetables, fruits, meat,

eggs, and milk from the local market, which is owned by a bunch of farmers.

“How are you feeling?” Gabe asks as I pour myself some coffee.

“Like I’ve been hit by a truck.”

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back to her house and tell her immediately. I would

me at

new awareness, I was fucking terrified.

Loving me but also

begins, “I thought you swore never to get

numb the pain. You can’t understand how difficult it was to realize that I love Ava.

her all because I couldn’t let go of

frowns at me in disapproval.

like a damn lost puppy, begging for any scraps of affection she’ll give me. Even

only way

she went through at my hands. What she is dishing out is nothing compared to what I did to her. Yet

nine fucking years?

me to be completely out of her life for good. I want

better, but I can’t let her go no matter how I fucking

The last

asks me, looking puzzled.

were in love with Emma.”

you the one that insisted

adamant he was about that. He wouldn’t let it go,

he just knows me better than I know myself.

I didn’t want

your insistence at

was wrong.”

sigh. “You were fucking right. My only wish is that

been easier to mend what

+15 BONUS

bitter memories. Memories where

her. My actions and words chipped at her heart slowly

there was nothing

honestly don’t wish to be in your shoes” Gabe whistles and

to know when it happened. When did you fall for

can’t pinpoint the exact time. Maybe it happened when we were

recent thing. All I know

my hand through my hair. I was frustrated and

you love someone!

came after Noah

held on to the memory of Emma. She was your

You can’t live with someone for nine

have touched her if you didn’t feel

I just got what I needed from her while

I imagined she was Emma.” I tell him, feeling sick to the

treated her. 1

1

Emma because

Something that would

and Ava because you felt that enjoying S** with her would be

Emma that you held on to

on the stool completely

I

that. I admit

the hell I was

right, and I used Emma as an

love of my life once; how then could I betray

enjoying Ava’s body? It all made sense in my head then,

that Emma was