Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

92. She deserves better.

Rowan.

My eyes snap open. Rays of light hitting me square in the face. I groan in pain. My head was

pounding as if there was someone using it as a fucking drum.

It takes a while to register that I am in my room, in Gabe’s house. It’s something we both did. He

has a room at my house, and I have one in his.

Groaning, I stand up and head to the bathroom. I turn on the shower and step under it. Using my

hands for support, I lean against the wall and try to put my jumbled thoughts in order. I don’t

remember much of last night except drinking.

Fuck! How the hell did I get here? How is it possible that I fell in love with Ava and didn’t realize it

sooner?

The moment the realization hit me, I went straight to the club. I rarely get drunk. I promised

myself not to ever get butt drunk after Noah was born. Normally, I just take a class or two, and

that’s enough. Yesterday, though, I needed it. I needed it badly.

There is no remedy for what I was feeling. No fucking cure. How do you even begin to deal with

the realization that you love the woman that you hated? The same woman you spent nine fucking

years hurting?

I sigh and get out of the bathroom. Feeling like I have aged at least thirty years. I haven’t been this

out of sorts in years.

After getting dressed, I head downstairs. I find Gabe having breakfast.

“Where is June?” I ask, referring to his housekeeper.

“She’s made us breakfast and left. She said that she wanted an early start to the market so she

could get fresh veggies.”

June had a thing against buying from grocery stores. For some reason, she believed that they

weren’t as fresh or organic as they wanted us to believe. She buys all vegetables, fruits, meat,

eggs, and milk from the local market, which is owned by a bunch of farmers.

“How are you feeling?” Gabe asks as I pour myself some coffee.

“Like I’ve been hit by a truck.”

+16 BONUS

that I loved Ava, part of me wanted to rush back to her house and tell her immediately. I would have if my rational side hadn’t won.

believed me

scared, but with this new awareness, I was fucking terrified. Is this

but also knowing that I hate

yesterday,” Gabe begins, “I thought you swore never to

how difficult it was to realize that I love Ava. That

have lost my chance with her all because I

frowns at me in disapproval. Or when, at times, she looks at me

it not affect me because I crave her. I follow her around like a damn

only way to be

out is nothing compared to what I did to her. Yet it

nine fucking years?

with me. Wants me to be completely out of her life

deserves better, but I can’t let her

that happen? The last

asks me, looking puzzled.

in love

the one that insisted that I

He wouldn’t let it go,

wasn’t in love with Ava. I guess he just knows me better than I know myself.

didn’t

but your insistence at

was wrong.”

is that I had

to

+15 BONUS

bitter memories.

I broke her. My actions and words

there

to be in your shoes” Gabe whistles and I glare

know when it happened. When

I can’t pinpoint the exact time. Maybe it happened when we were still married, or

All I know is that I love her

was frustrated and fucking scared. What a lousy time to

you love someone!

think it was always there. Probably came after Noah

to love her because you held on to the memory

your true love. You can’t live with someone for nine years and

know you, Ro. You wouldn’t even have touched her if you didn’t feel

biological process. I just got what I needed from her

I imagined she was Emma.” I tell him, feeling sick to

treated her. 1

1

Emma because you missed her

back? Something that would guard you

Ava because you felt that enjoying S** with her

of Emma that you held on to for

sit on the stool completely

I

it like that.

would I explain how the hell I was able to get it up

Emma as an escape

already betrayed the love of my life once; how then

again by sleeping with and enjoying Ava’s body? It all made sense in my

realize that Emma was never the love of my