Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

92. She deserves better.

Rowan.

My eyes snap open. Rays of light hitting me square in the face. I groan in pain. My head was

pounding as if there was someone using it as a fucking drum.

It takes a while to register that I am in my room, in Gabe’s house. It’s something we both did. He

has a room at my house, and I have one in his.

Groaning, I stand up and head to the bathroom. I turn on the shower and step under it. Using my

hands for support, I lean against the wall and try to put my jumbled thoughts in order. I don’t

remember much of last night except drinking.

Fuck! How the hell did I get here? How is it possible that I fell in love with Ava and didn’t realize it

sooner?

The moment the realization hit me, I went straight to the club. I rarely get drunk. I promised

myself not to ever get butt drunk after Noah was born. Normally, I just take a class or two, and

that’s enough. Yesterday, though, I needed it. I needed it badly.

There is no remedy for what I was feeling. No fucking cure. How do you even begin to deal with

the realization that you love the woman that you hated? The same woman you spent nine fucking

years hurting?

I sigh and get out of the bathroom. Feeling like I have aged at least thirty years. I haven’t been this

out of sorts in years.

After getting dressed, I head downstairs. I find Gabe having breakfast.

“Where is June?” I ask, referring to his housekeeper.

“She’s made us breakfast and left. She said that she wanted an early start to the market so she

could get fresh veggies.”

June had a thing against buying from grocery stores. For some reason, she believed that they

weren’t as fresh or organic as they wanted us to believe. She buys all vegetables, fruits, meat,

eggs, and milk from the local market, which is owned by a bunch of farmers.

“How are you feeling?” Gabe asks as I pour myself some coffee.

“Like I’ve been hit by a truck.”

+16 BONUS

and tell her immediately. I would have if my rational side hadn’t won. It was too soon to tell her. She

me at

but with this new awareness, I was

Loving me but also knowing that I

yesterday,” Gabe begins, “I thought you swore never to get drunk ever

to realize that I love Ava. That all

chance with her all because

I show up to pick Noah up, and she frowns at

her around like a damn lost puppy, begging for any scraps of affection she’ll give me.

only way to be

she is dishing out is nothing compared to what I did to her. Yet it still fucking hurts.

nine fucking years?

be completely out of her life for good. I want

she deserves better, but I can’t let her

that happen? The last

asks me, looking puzzled.

sure you were in love with

insisted that I had suppressed

how adamant he was about that. He wouldn’t

wasn’t in love with Ava. I guess he just knows me better

didn’t want

telling me you loved Ava, but your insistence

was wrong.”

only wish is that I had relegalized this sooner. Maybe

been easier to mend what

+15 BONUS

stare off into space. Lost in the bitter memories.

broke her. My actions and words

until there was

your shoes” Gabe whistles and I glare at him. “But you still haven’t

to know when it happened. When

can’t pinpoint the exact time. Maybe it happened when we were

thing. All I

was frustrated and fucking scared. What a lousy

you love someone!

it was always there. Probably came after

her because you held on to the memory of

can’t live with someone for

them. I know you, Ro. You wouldn’t even have touched

just got what I needed from her while still

she was Emma.” I tell

treated her. 1

1

Did you imagine you were fucking Emma because you missed her or

Something that would guard you from enjoying the

you and Ava because you felt that enjoying S** with her would be a

you held on to

the stool completely

I

like that. I

otherwise, how would I explain how the hell I was able to get it up

and I used Emma as an escape from what I truly felt

of my life once; how then could I betray her over

sleeping with and enjoying Ava’s body? It all

starting to realize that Emma was never the love of my