Chapter 0193

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“I honestly don’t wish to be in your shoes” Gabe whistles and I glare at him. “But you still haven’t

answered me I want to know when it happened. When did you fall for her?”

don’t know. I can’t pinpoint the exact time. Maybe it happened when we were still married, or maybe it’s

a recent thing. All I know is that I love her now.”

I run my hand through my hair. I was frustrated and F***ing scared. What a lousy time to realize you

someone!

love

7 think it was always there. Probably came after Noah was born. I also think you didn’t allow yourself to love her because you held on to the memory of Emma. She was your first love, so you assumed she was your true love. You can’t live with someone for nine years and not feel a thing for them. I know you, Ro. You wouldn’t even have touched her if you didn’t feel something for her.”

“Sex is a biological process. I just got what I needed from her while still hating her. I am ashamed to say there were times I imagined she was Emma.” I tell him, feeling sick to the core at how I treated her.

“Really? Did you imagine you were F***ing Emma because you missed her or because you needed something to hold you back? Something that would guard you from enjoying the intimacy between you and Ava because you felt that enjoying S** with her would be a betrayal to the memories of Emma that you held on to for dear life?”

I sit on the stool completely dumbfounded. I never thought about it like that. I admit I was attracted to her, otherwise, how would I explain how the hell I was able to get it up and going? Maybe Gabe was right, and I used Emma as an escape from what I truly felt for Ava.

In my head, I had already betrayed the love of my life once; how then could I betray her over and over again by sleeping with and enjoying Ava’s b*dy? It all made sense in my head then, but now I’m starting to realize that Emma was never the love of my F***ing life.

“Fuck. I messed up big time,” I holler, feeling like a crashing weight was on my shoulders.

“Do you love Emma?” he asks and shake my head in a no.

you sure? Is all the love you had for her completely

think about it for

it would be our second chance at love. It took a while to realize that it felt all kinds of wrong. I didn’t even allow her to k*ss me for F***s sake. That should have been

begin to explain the rage 1 felt every time Imagined Ava and Ethan together. It was

felt for her. It took seeing her happy with another man to bring forth the love you suppressed. You held on to Emma because of

done. I said words I could never take back. Did things that will forever be imprinted on her mind. I

going to do?”

and she can get any man she wants. There

What is to stop her

a heart of gold, and she loves fiercely. Any man would be lucky to have

woman who is capable of making a man change his ways is a F***ing saint. I

the shoulder. “I’m sure you’ll figure it out.

I know I don’t deserve her, and my biggest fear is losing her to someone who

Chapter 0193

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and I glare at him. “But you still haven’t answered me. I want to know

pinpoint the exact time. Maybe it happened when we were still married, or maybe it’s a recent thing. All I know

frustrated and F***ing scared. What a lousy time

you held on to the memory of Emma. She was your first love, so you assumed she was your true

to say there were times I imagined she was Emma.” I

enjoying the intimacy between you and Ava because you felt that enjoying S** with her would be a betrayal to the memories of Emma

otherwise, how would I explain how the hell I was able to get it up and going? Maybe Gabe was right, and I used Emma as

by sleeping with and enjoying Ava’s b*dy? It all made

I holler, feeling like a crashing weight

and shake my head

all the love you

think about it for

When she first came back, I thought that it would be our second chance at love. It took a while to realize that it felt all kinds of wrong. I didn’t even allow her to k*ss me for F***s sake. That should have been my first clue that I was done with her. That

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I felt every time imagined Ava and

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