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“I honestly don’t wish to be in your shoes” Gabe whistles and I glare at him. “But you still haven’t

answered me I want to know when it happened. When did you fall for her?”

don’t know. I can’t pinpoint the exact time. Maybe it happened when we were still married, or maybe it’s

a recent thing. All I know is that I love her now.”

I run my hand through my hair. I was frustrated and F***ing scared. What a lousy time to realize you

someone!

love

7 think it was always there. Probably came after Noah was born. I also think you didn’t allow yourself to love her because you held on to the memory of Emma. She was your first love, so you assumed she was your true love. You can’t live with someone for nine years and not feel a thing for them. I know you, Ro. You wouldn’t even have touched her if you didn’t feel something for her.”

“Sex is a biological process. I just got what I needed from her while still hating her. I am ashamed to say there were times I imagined she was Emma.” I tell him, feeling sick to the core at how I treated her.

“Really? Did you imagine you were F***ing Emma because you missed her or because you needed something to hold you back? Something that would guard you from enjoying the intimacy between you and Ava because you felt that enjoying S** with her would be a betrayal to the memories of Emma that you held on to for dear life?”

I sit on the stool completely dumbfounded. I never thought about it like that. I admit I was attracted to her, otherwise, how would I explain how the hell I was able to get it up and going? Maybe Gabe was right, and I used Emma as an escape from what I truly felt for Ava.

In my head, I had already betrayed the love of my life once; how then could I betray her over and over again by sleeping with and enjoying Ava’s b*dy? It all made sense in my head then, but now I’m starting to realize that Emma was never the love of my F***ing life.

“Fuck. I messed up big time,” I holler, feeling like a crashing weight was on my shoulders.

“Do you love Emma?” he asks and shake my head in a no.

all the love you had for her

it for a minute before

it felt all kinds of wrong. I didn’t even allow her to k*ss me for F***s sake. That should have been my first clue that I was

BONUS can’t begin to explain the rage 1 felt every time Imagined Ava

realize what you felt for her. It took seeing her happy with another man to bring forth the love you suppressed. You held on to Emma because of the way things ended abruptly between the two of you. None of you got any

but it doesn’t help my case. So much damage has already been done. I said words I could never take

you going to do?” he asks me

Ava is F***ing beautiful, and she can get any man she wants. There are already some who are sniffing

feel so dejected. What is to stop her

a

she was able to change Ethan. I saw it in his eyes. He had fallen for her. Any woman who is

sure you’ll figure it out.

I was as confident in myself as he was in me, because deep down I know I don’t deserve

Chapter 0193

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your shoes” Gabe whistles and I glare at him. “But you still haven’t answered me. I

the exact time. Maybe it happened when we were still married, or maybe

through my hair. I was frustrated and F***ing scared. What a lousy time to realize

to love her because you held on to the memory of Emma. She was your first love, so you assumed she was your true love. You can’t live with someone for nine

what I needed from her while still hating her. I am ashamed to say there were times I imagined

missed her or because you needed something to hold you back? Something that would guard you from enjoying the intimacy between

explain how the hell I was able to get it up and going? Maybe Gabe was right, and I used Emma as an escape from

life once; how then could I betray her over and over again by sleeping with and enjoying Ava’s b*dy? It all made sense in my head then, but now I’m starting to realize that Emma was never the love of my F***ing

up big time,” I holler, feeling like a crashing weight was

you love Emma?” he asks and shake my head

Is all the love you had

about it for

realize that it felt all kinds of wrong. I didn’t even allow her to k*ss me for

+15 BONUS

the rage I felt every time imagined Ava and Ethan together. It was all

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