Chapter 0221

The bright light coming through my window makes me open my eyes. Instead of getting up immediately, I just stay in bed for a while as I rub my belly and feel my baby move inside me.

I look at the calendar on my bedside table and realize that today I just hit the sixth–month milestone. It’s scary to have a baby. The whole journey is filled with uncertainty. I always make sure to thank God each time I pass a milestone with my baby, knowing not all babies get to be born.

After saying a small thank–you prayer, I get up and move downstairs. I could always shower later, but right now I am hungry. With everything that happened yesterday, I forgot to eat.

Thinking about yesterday brings me to what happened with Rowan. I still can’t believe that I let him k*ss

me or that I actually enjoyed it.

It bugs me so much that I wanted more. I wanted him to deepen the k*ss. I wanted him to take it further. I

can blame it on the hormones, but we all know that I’d be lying to myself.

Rowan hurt me so much. The fact that I wanted him yesterday makes me hate myself just a little bit. I

promised myself to move on, yet there I was making out with him in my living room.

I want to believe that Rowan has changed, but I just can’t. Even if, by some miracle, he has, don’t you

think it’s a little too late for us? Too much has already happened for us to make something out of the

mess he created.

Taking out the ingredients for breakfast, I get to work. No matter what I try, I still can’t stop thinking about the damn k*ss. For heaven’s sake, why the hell did this k*ss affect me so much? I just don’t F***ing get it, honestly.

I groan in frustration, wishing I could erase the feel of his l*ps on mine.

“What’s got you so frustrated?” Calvin’s voice startles me so much that I let go of the eggs I was holding.

*Jeez, Cal, you scared the living day lights out of me,” I say with my hand pressing hard on my beating heart.

“Sorry,” he grins. “I thought you heard us, given Gunner and Noah didn’t really get inside quietly.”

to find them munching on the cookies that I had

was just a little bit lost

from his face. “Are you still thinking about what happened yesterday

nod my head. It was a lie, but he didn’t need to know that I was thinking

thing.

making for breakfast, mom?”

up”

pumps his fist up in the air. “I love fry–ups;

once

him. So happy that he is happy. I’m hoping that one day

her fences with Gunner

“Are you

Noah asks.

of her ways and

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more minutes, and I’ll be done. Why don’t you go wait

up?”

time, before rushing to the other

me and proceeds to clean up the mess I’d

you more time to

they wanted your breakfast.”

that Calvin was a bad cook.

would have finished cooking and brought some over anyway, so it’s not a big deal,” I tell him as I get

up, all things considered?” I

feel relieved that now everyone knows about Gunner. He’s an amazing kid, and he shouldn’t be hidden away like a dirty secret. After my grandfather died, I had no one until Gunner was bom. I didn’t mind it being

they’d treated Noah well, so I guess it was safe for

no longer part of my life, so

to keep him from her side of the

morning.

excuse myself and leave

is it?” I ask

shrugs his shoulders. “There was no one outside. Just

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